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| Hwha? | Mother: hmm...chinese? no, i don't want chinese food.
/ Daughter: dad, mom doesn't want chinese.
/ Dad: Mm-hmm. your mom's always been picky. / Mother: WHAT DID YOU SAY?!
/ Dad: i said "your mom's always been sticky." / Daughter: good save, dad http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/181/ |
| The Other Guy | Man 1: isn't she married?
/ Man 2: yea. i'm her mistress / Man 2: her sir mistress if you will http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/182/ |
| Hello, Ladies! | Deodorant Stick(talking to lipstick and nail polish): hello, ladies! i am deodorant! i become top-heavy as time passes! / *deodorant stick has fallen over*
/ Deodorant Stick: i believe my work here is finished http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/183/ |
| Balloon Fight! | Jimmy(holding balloon): hey!
/ Boy 2: yea? / Jimmy: catch!!!
/ Boy 2: nooo! / *balloon hits boy 2 and boy 2 explodes* / Mother: jimmy no! / Mother: he was made of sodium! http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/184/ |
| Idaho | Idaho? More like I DON'T KNOW! / Idaho: that's the best you could come up with? really? / Connecticut: i am wholly unimpressed
/ Louisiana: i could step on you http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/185/ |
| The Flu | the flu visualized as plumbing / *pipes are shown with several segments* / *segment 1: waste pump*unexpectedly reverses flow) / *segment 2: waste processor(broken) / *segment 3: drainage regulator(broken) http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/186/ |
| How TV Is Made | *two people sitting at a table* / Man 1: hmm, how about we put our commercials in a frame containing other commercials??
/ Man 2: kids today love commercials! http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/187/ |
| You Missed | Man 1: low five!
/ Man 2: ok! / *Man 2 comes closer to man 1* / *Man 1 hits man 2 in the crotch with his hand*
/ Man 1: too low http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/188/ |
| My Kid | *Father holding his son above his head while another father is helping his kid ride his bike* / Father: well y'know what! my kid can fly! can your kid fly? i didn't freakin' think so!! http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/189/ |
| Cheer Up! | *sun sits happily in the sky while an unhappy man is on the ground* / *sun smiles at man while he looks up at the sun* / *man continues to be unhappy* / *sun comes closer to the man to cheer him up* / *sun is next to man and man is happy* / *man catches on fire. sun is surprised* / *sun is back... http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/190/ |
| True Epiphanies Are Rare | below you will find illustrated a so-called grown man experiencing a moment of simultaneous joy and pain, for he has just given himself a paper-cut but then immediately remembered that his mother had given him a box of spiderman band-aids in his x-mas stocking, and he finally gets to use one. / thanks,... http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/191/ |
| Wake Up! | Person in bed: i don't think i can get out of bed. can you get me some coffee?
/ Friend: sure / *person continues to lay in bed* / *friend arrives with coffee* / *friend throws coffee on person in bed* / *person in bed jumps out of bed*
/ Person in bed: ahh! ah! ah!
/ Friend: awake now? / Person now... http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/192/ |
| Vista | *laptop flying out of broken house window* / windows vista
/ some users may find they have to "upgrade" their house's windows too! http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/193/ |
| Got Milk? | Man with cookie head: will that face that my head is a cookie have any affect on our friendship?
/ Friend: yes. you look tasty http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/194/ |
| Rough Approximations | percentage of one's life spent testing for pregnancy: 0.002% / percentage of one's life spent hearing about pregnancy test: 9.4% / *man watching tv*
/ tv: we can detect hormone variations three days earlier http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/195/ |
| Getting Warmer | Man: stop drop and roll is usually the right thing to do if you're on fire. unless you're walking on a bed of nails http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/196/ |
| ... | *beginning of a cartoon by drew has been scribbled over* / Drew: justin, what the hell?! today was my turn to post. / Justin: your stuff isn't funny. you always have way too many words / Drew: like you know funny / Justin: shut up ugly / Drew: screw you. i'm done with this. / Justin: good riddance / lefthandedtoons... http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/197/ |
| Milk Money | *Man looking through all the milk cartons*
/ Man: Lessee. 4-13, 4-14, ahh, 4-15! / *Man remembers something* / Man: must remember to do taxes before milk expires http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/198/ |
| That Makes Sense | Man: did you know that "lowfat", in latin, means "tasteless"? http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/199/ |
| Adulthood Bear | Bear: one aged scotch, please
/ Man: y'know, sometimes i really hate you, adulthood bear. / Bear: that's an awfully uncivil thing to say to me
/ Man: i resent that you even exist / Bear: i only exist because you think of me as existing
/ Man: yeah, well... / Bear: besides, you're kinda stuck with me,... http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/200/ |
| Dating Problems | Worker 1: i dont think i can use that dating site anymore
/ Worker 2: why is that? / Worker 1: my dad uses it too
/ Worker 2: who cares! / Worker 1: we both ended up dating the same person.
/ Worker 2: oh. thats gross. http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/201/ |
| Pastime Improvement | How To Make Baseball Better / Remove the pitcher and pitcher's mound / Instead, install two new mounds at right angles to the plate, one for left-handed and one for right-handed batters. / Thus, every pitch will travel at the batter, and he will have to hit the ball or he will risk injury. this removes... http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/202/ |
| High Expectations | Student 1: these eggs are expired
/ Student 2: dude! lets keep them until the end of the semester and see what happens! / 4 months later / Student 1(holding eggs): lets do it!
/ Student 2: yea! / *egg shown* / *egg cracks open, a normal yolk comes out* / Student 1: lame http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/203/ |
| The Worst Hiccups | Heart: ugh.. i have *hic* the worst hiccups! they *hic* won't stop *hic!* / Organ: blagga wagga wagga!
/ Heart: AAHHH!! / Organ: did that work?
/ Heart: hey yeah! my hiccups are gone! / *man shown at table with food all over his clothes. he has had a heart attack* http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/204/ |
| First Date | *a man is on a date with a woman*
/ Man's Thoughts: oh my god! 5 minutes into the date and ive already run out of things to say! / Man's thoughts: stay calm... stay calm, i got it! / *Man has fallen to the ground*
/ Woman: somebody find a doctor!!! help!!!
/ Man's thoughts: nice. this will be a funny... http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/205/ |
| Sacred Words | *pastor at podium*
/ Pastor: and god did smite them. and thus god spake, "in an mmm bop they're gone... in an mmm bop ... they're not there" amen. http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/206/ |
| Present For You | *two men are standing*
/ Man 2: do i know you? / *Man 1's head starts growing bigger*
/ Man 2: something is wrong with you head / *Man 1's head grows even larger*
/ Man 2: uhhh / *Man 1 removes his large head to show that it's a balloon* / *Man 2 receives man 1's balloon head and is happy* http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/207/ |
| Some Things Were Not Meant to Be | *a broken heart is shown with a flat head screwdriver in front of it trying to give a rose to a phillips head screw* http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/208/ |
| Tasty? | *sign hangs above a table which says "jim's tasty poopsicles*
/ Friend of Jim: it doesn't have two o's in it jim, just one.
/ Jim: crap / Friend: exactly http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/209/ |
| Bell | *Bell on telephone*
/ Watson! come here - i want to see you! my invention works! go start a facebook group so i can get all my friends'numbers http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/210/ |