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| Invincible | 1: Shoot me, I'm invincible!
/ 2: Ok. / *bang* / 1: see? / *Man 1 dead on ground* http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/61/ |
| Pity this animal | *poorly drawn cat*
/ Cat: damn. so hard to be cute when drawn with WRONG HAND!!! http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/62/ |
| It's In the Genes | Child: I got the lowest grade in the class again.
/ Father: Don't worry son, you're just slow. / Father: Don't be sad! It's not your fault. / Father: It's your mothers. http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/63/ |
| True Stories of the Blackout of 2003 | *Person pulling a dollar bill out of a wallet* / *Machine processing the dollar bill*
/ WHRRR / *Map of northeast US with areas affected by the blackout blackened*
/ BZZT! / *Person standing at a soda machine pressing one of the buttons*
/ Person: Huh? http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/64/ |
| The Conversationalist | 1: Do you ever wonder if there are other lifeforms out there? We can't be the only ones in the whole universe!
/ 2: No. / *Both stand awkwardly* / 1: Thanks for keeping the conversation going. http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/65/ |
| No signature required | Man 1: Bryan! Hell! Lookout! Sofia is mailing things at people left and right! She's on a rampage!!
/ Bryan: What? Mailing...At? Huh?? / *Bryan getting his in the head with a package*
/ Sofia: Hello, sir. I have a package for you. / *Package shown. Says: From: Sofia Mail To: Bryan's Face He's over... http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/66/ |
| Veggie Burger | 1: You're a vegetarian, right?
/ 2: Yea. The only meat I eat is from the sea / 1: So if I took a cow / 1: Threw it into the ocean / 1: And it drowned / 1: Would that be ok to eat?
/ 2: I suppose so! / 1: Awesome! http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/67/ |
| The variable formerly known as x | 1: Hey! Y'know what would be funny? If someone used the prince symbol as a new math variable!
/ 2: Haha! Yeah! / 1: Hehe! It's be all like "prince less than fourteen"!
/ 2: Haha! "Seven prince squared"
/ 1: "e to the power of prince"
/ 2: "the rate depends on prince" / 1: Hehehe! What did you say?
/ 2:... http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/68/ |
| English for Your Child | Father: What's this picture of Jimmy?
/ Jimmy: A kitty! / Father: And this?
/ Jimmy: Doggie! / Father: Very good!
/ Jimmy: Yay, I just englished! / Father: That's right Jimmy, you're learning english.
/ Jimmy: Englished in my pants! / Father: The word for that one would be pooped.
/ Jimmy: ... http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/69/ |
| Hey Buddy! | *Child sitting at a computer with his dad in the doorway*
/ Dad: Hey buddy! Guess what! I thought of a great name for our band!
/ Son: You and I do not have a band. / Dad: Get this: "Superculosis"! See? It's like "tuberculosis", but it's super!
/ Son: Please stop talking to me. / *Father in doorway holding... http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/70/ |
| Cleaning | Filling a pot with water after cooking with it won't make the pot clean itself. / That's your job. http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/71/ |
| Erin's Hot Date, Part 2 | *Man sitting on couch on date*
/ Woman: Do you like milk with your coffee?
/ Man: Um...yes, but... / Woman: ...but you're lactose-intolerant; I remembered! Here, I used soy milk.
/ Man: Ah, perfect! Thanks! / Woman: Actually, I didn't have any soy milk, so I made some out of regular milk and soy sau... http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/72/ |
| Hugs | You are about to receive a hug. / Choose hug type to give:
/ 1. both arms over top
/ 2. both arms underneath
/ 3. left arm high, right arm low
/ 4. right arm high, left arm low / You have chosen:
/ both arms over top / They have also chosen both arms over top / Hug failed. http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/73/ |
| Incorrect Etymology 2 | Today's Word: "Italy" / The name of the nation of Italy comes from the Latin word, "itallus,", which means "to lean, slant or fall over." there are several theories as to how this became today's "Italy". / *picture of the leaning tower of piza*
/ One theory asserts the name stuck as a descriptor of... http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/74 |
| Red Beverage | Those dang hawaiians sure do love making their punch pretty frickin sweet. http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/75/ |
| Super-secret noob cheats | *two characters in a game*
/ 1: Hey! Where'd you get the body armor?!
/ 2: it's a secret! / 1: Tell me! Tell me! Tell Me!
/ 2: Oh okay. / 2: Just unplug the power cord on your computer / *player one blips out*
/ 2: YES!!! http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/76/ |
| An Open Letter to Subway | Dear Subway Inc.,
/ Your cheese slices are shaped like this:
/ *fig 1. isosceles cheese* / this is great because it allows you to tessellate the cheese across the sandwich like this:
/ *fig 2. life worth living. cheese shown to tessellate perfectly to cover the sandwich with a very happy person eating... http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/77/ |
| My Mistake | 1: You should have an excuse for being that ugly sir.
/ 2: I'm a woman! / 1: That doesn't make it any better. http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/78/ |
| Steaming Mad | Child: Don't get mad at me daddy.
/ Father: When I'm mad, you'll know it! / Father: Mostly because I'll lose control of my bowels. http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/79/ |
| Theirs is a pain I know ALL TOO WELL. | the bi-weekly meeting of People-With-Names-That-Are-Verbs (P.W.N.T.A.V.) / Will: So often, I think someone's talking to me, but they're just referring to the future!
/ Nick: You have it really hard, yours also being a tense-modifier.
/ *Mark sits looking concerned*
/ *Rob is pointing at Tim*
/ Rob: Get... http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/80/ |
| Let's Play Catch | *Father is playing catch with son*
/ Father: If this ball wasn't glued to my hand, I'd be more than happy to throw it to you... http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/81/ |
| Raines has a funny joke! | 2: hey hey! guess what i'm doing! / 2: i'm jaywalking! haha!
/ *person 2 has J-shaped legs / *awkward silence while both stare at one another* / 1: laaame.
/ 2: but.. but i had disfiguring surgery!! http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/82/ |
| Gotcha! | 1: Dude, look over there!
/ 2: What? Where should I be looking? / 2: Is that it? / 1: Ha, gotcha! I stole your kidneys!
/ 2: Oh you! / *both smile at each other* / *Man without kidneys is dead on the ground* http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/83/ |
| It needs to be said | It has come to my attention that some readers may be misinterpreting my depiction of these characters
/ *Mikva and Raines shown* / The do not have teddy-bear-ears, but rather, goat-like horns.
/ *Mikva and Raines shown zoomed in* / I am providing this close-up view to clarify
/ Mikva: You didn't have... http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/84/ |
| Too Close | *Diagram of airspace surrounding two people talking to each other*
/ comfort zone 1 (comfort zone of person 1)
/ comfort zone 2 (comfort zone of person 2)
/ disputed airspace - where person 1 and person 2's comfort zones intersect http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/85/ |
| Impossible? | 1: ...so then i dreamt she emailed me, and while i was reading it...
/ 2: you can't read in a dream!! / 1: 'scuse me?
/ 2: it's impossible to read words inside a dream! science has proven it! / 1: could you cite your source please?
/ 2: "batman: the animated series" / *person one looks at person two... http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/86/ |
| Babies on a Plane | *2 passengers are sitting behind a parent and their crying baby near an emergency exit*
/ Baby: wahhhh! WAHHHH!!!
/ Annoyed Passenger: If you were to open up that door and throw that kid out, I wouldn't look down on you for it. http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/87/ |
| GOOD ONE | *Daughter comes running into room where father is sitting down*
/ Daughter: Daddy! Look! Ryan proposed!! I'm engaged!
/ Father: More like "engaaayyged"! / *Daughter looks sad while the father fist pumps*
/ Father: *YESSSS!* http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/88/ |
| My angry father | *two children fighting in the backseat of the car* / Father: If you kids don't stop fighting back there. / Father: i will blow myself up!
/ *Father reveals bomb strapped to his chest* / *children calm down but are still angry* / Father: that's bett- / *father explodes* http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/89/ |
| Faster Please | *Man standing at a hand dryer in a restroom*
/ *Talking to the hand dryer*
/ Man: I question your effort. My hands aren't ever dry and its been 10 minutes. http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/90/ |