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Hair 1: What is that on your head? / 2: It's hair / 1: Take it off, it looks dumb. / 2: It's not a hat, it's my hair. Hair doesn't work like that / 1: I don't get it.
Against the Natural Order When I was a sophomore in high school, I really liked this girl who was a junior. So I asked her to junior prom. / *boy shown asking girl to prom* / How naive I was! Doing this upset the fragile balance. Chaos ensued. / *boy shown spiraling downward* / the high elder council informed me that never in...
Let's Reminisce *Man 2 is eating an ice cream cone* / I remember when that used to be my ice cream cone.
Incorrect Etymology 3 Today's Word: "Basketball" / It's widely believed that "basketball" gets it's name from the basket-shaped goal. In fact, the reverse is true. / Let's start with the latin, "baskus", which means "to sleep" or "to lie". / "Bask lizards" get their name from this word, due to their lethargic behavior. / *Bask...
Long Lost Mother *Child is playing video games* / Mother: It's a nice day out, don't you wanna go outside? / Child: Who are you, my mother? / Mother: Yes I am actually. / Child: Well, my answer is still no.
 
A Moment of Frankness Dear pretty-girls-who-wear-big-sunglasses, / *girl shown wearing sunglasses way too large for her face* / i think you look silly. / Lots of love, drewmo
Lonely Island *Sign reads Cannibal Island in the background. Man 2 looks at man 1 with a big smile* / Man 1: I'm very uncomfortable about the way you're looking at me right now.
Did-You-Know-Bats 4 Bat 1: did you know that carrots are good for your eyes? / Bat 2: no! / LATER... / Bat 2: i have begun to doubt the veracity of your statements / *Bat 2 shown with carrot sticking out of his eye*
That warm fuzzy feeling Woman: I'm cold! Warm me up with your charm / Man: Ok! / *Man breathes fire* / Woman: So charming
F.M.S. *Man sitting at computer* / Man: What the...? Who??? / Old man: Is this you? If so, you may be suffering from Facebook marriage shock, or FMS / Symptoms of FMS include confusion, anxiety, and mainly an inability to recognize old female friends whose names have changed / Man at computer: Gina who? / But...
 
Stupid Pillows Woman: I bought some cute pillows for the couch! They match the room's color scheme perfectly! / Man: Are they comfortable? / Woman: No. / Man: Can I use them? / Woman: No / Man: I believe we disagree on what the purpose of a pillow is.
Irked Worrrms!!!!!!!! Worm 1: My ISP has changed my I.P. address three times this week! / Worm 2: Your incomprehensible technobabble no longer soothes my aura. Please cease it forever.
IRKED WORMS!!!! Worm 1: You always pull away when i try to kiss you! / Worm 2: I have a tiny cut on my lip! Calm down!
Flightless Man-made Bird Passenger: I'd like a flight for tomorrow morning please. / Man at ticket counter: I have one at 8:47 PM, does that help? / Passenger: That's the opposite of morning.
Meerkats are fun to draw This week on Meerkat Manor, Rocketdog learns a valuable lesson abou-- hey! ... what the...? / *Raines appears with meerkats* / Raines: What are you guys looking for? / Meerkate: Taco Bell.
 
Third Wheel I think being a third wheel is actually a compliment. Once you have three wheels, you could possibly be a Big Wheel. And that is awesome.
Thanks for the help... 1: I can't find my keys / 2: Let me help! / *Man 2 gropes man 1 for 3 panels* / *Man 2's hands are on man 1's crotch* / 1: Awkward.
A Tirade on Temporal Nomenclature, Delivered by Pablo, a Welsh Corgi I take issue with the manner you people pronounce aloud the years of our current decade! *points to 2004* This is read "two thousand four". / *Pointing to 1994* / In contrast, this is "nineteen ninety four", read as two two-digit numbers, with the word "thousand" nowhere in sight! Why break the pattern??...
Almost *Man is standing on the roof of a building* / Man: I can fly! / *Man jumps and zips through the air* / *Man lands on ground* / Man: Nevermind.
An Important Scientific Discovery *A slinky going down an up escalator* / *Person at bottom is amazed*
 
The Holiday Sweater *Man wearing hideously ugly holiday sweater* / Ugly sweater wearing season: 2nd to last week in November to December 26th.
Decking Some Halls *Man throwing Christmas decorations into a tarp* / *Man hoisting the tarp full of decorations into a tree* / *Decorations are hung up in the tree in a tarp* / Man: Decorations are up. / Woman: I want a divorce. / MERRY XMAS!
Celebration of the New Year *Man shown wearing the 2008 glasses* / Those new years glasses makers are gonna be screwed / *Man shown wearing 2010 glasses where the 1 is in front of his left eye* / unless everyone at the end of 2009 only has one eye.
Politics In the upcoming election season, be sure to find out where candidates stand on issues that are important to you. / *people are protesting holding the following signs* / Ban stem cell research / Stop this war! / If Toy"R"Us sells toys, then Babies"R"Us should sell babies.
Not My Preference Someone out there must enjoy grape-flavored candy, because they keep on making the stuff.
 
A Drawing Story *2 kids making faces* / When I was in 2nd grade, there were these two 3rd grade bullies... / One day, they asked me to do a drawing for them. A Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles drawing. / I was so surprised! I loved the ninja turtles! / Maybe they'd be my friends if I did a really good drawing. / So...
The Wholesale Club Heading: Just because it's cheaper in bulk doesn't mean you have to buy it / Man to wife: Holy crap! A 100 pack of Preparation H! Awesome!
Congrats! My friends Ben & Maggie just got engaged! To each other!! Congratulations, guys!! / From now on, Ben & Maggie will be known as "Baggie". / It's either that or "Men". / We'll stick with "Baggie".
0_o *Man waves to woman* / Man: :) / Woman: :) / *Man has ice cream cone for woman* / Man: ;) / Woman: :D / *Ice cream cone drops on ground* / Man: :/ / Woman: :(
Party Foul *Drew and Justin and a girl at a party* / Drew: Hey everyone! Today is a special day for us! / Justin: It's our anniversary! / Girl: Aww! How cute! How long have you two been a couple? / Drew: Wait...what? / Drew: No! It's our cartoon-site's anniversary!!! / Girl: Aw, don't be shy...Hey Lisa,...
 

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