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| Linty Goodness | 1: Look what I bought for a dollar.
/ 2: Is that the lint from the dryer? / 1: No, it's a... / 1: Ah crap, I've been swindled. http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/31/ |
| Bedsheets | *child floating in a sea full of fish*
/ When I was a kid, I had blue bedsheets with fish on them!
/ I'd pretend I was swimming in the ocean while I fell asleep! / *child floating over plaid*
/ Now, my bedsheets are plaid. Swimming in a plaid ocean is not as much fun. http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/32 |
| Existential Freakout Cartoon | 1: Why?! / 1: Oh why am I built to dwell on these delusions?!! / 1: AAGH!! / 2: Hey! I have a bellybutton!
/ 1: AAAAAHHHHH!! http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/33/ |
| Join In | *Man standing outside of circle drawn on ground*
/ Man: Join me in the circle of death. / *Man steps into circle*
/ Man: Come on! / *Man lies dead in circle* http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/34/ |
| Sexual Prefixes | 1: Y'know, bisexual is a poorly-formed word. I think it should be "ambisexual" because "ambi-" means "both", and there are only two sexes. / 1: "Bi-" means two, which implies we could use other numeric prefixes. but what, for example, would a "quadrisexual" be??
/ 2: Hey! My uncle is a quadrisexual! / 1: Your uncle is not a quadrisexual. He is an airline pilot.
/ 2: Yeah. That's what I meant. / 2: He flies in big planes!! http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/35/ |
| How To Draw | How to Draw Good / *5 animals are shown and are drawn the same*
/ moo
/ ribbit
/ woof
/ meow
/ oink http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/36/ |
| Did-You-Know-Bats 2 | Bat 1: Did you know that grapes could be toxic to dogs?
/ Bat 2: I knew that dogs could be toxic to grapes http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/37/ |
| Dirty Magazine | *Man is reading a gay porn magazine*
/ Friend 2: What the hell? / Friend 1: Didn't you hear? Gay is the new straight!
/ Friend 2: Where did you hear that? / Friend 1: From this magazine!
/ Friend 2: That still doesn't explain the time between you picking up that magazine and you discovering that article. / *Both stand awkwardly* / Friend 1: Dangit. http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/38/ |
| The Debate | *Two men are at podiums at a debate*
/ 1: The fact is, the economy is in a sorry state, and my opponent has not done enough to ameliorate it!
/ 2: I think my constituents will agree that our policies are more than adequate in most situations. / 1: See? "Most situations" The reliance upon such qualifiers is an admission that the senator's solution is incomplete!
/ 2: Excuse me?! Cauliflowers?! Now, I've endured a lot of mud-slinging, but no one's ever accused me of relying upon cauliflowers!! / 1: I didn't say "cauliflowers", idiot. I said "qualifiers"!
/ 2: OH!! WELL, I THOUGHT YOU SAID "CAULIFLOWERS", OKAY?!!?!!? / *Man 2 stands embarassed while man one looks at him disapprovingly* http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/39/ |
| Make it Easier | 1: Man, I wish this book was an audio book, just with pictures. / 1: You know, pictures that move.
/ 2: So, a movie? / 1: No, a moving picture audio book. / 1: Do you even listen to me? http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/40/ |
| a tolerable amount of fatty infiltration. | Fish 1: My dad is megaman
/ Fish 2: Sweet. Megaman is cool. / Fish 1: So is my dad. Who is he.
/ Fish 2: He is megaman? / Fish 1: Megaman is my dad.
/ Fish 2: Who is megaman. / Fish 1: My dad is.
/ Fish 2: Your dad, who is megaman, is your dad. http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/41/ |
| The Sun | 1: The sun could have exploded just now! but due to the distance between us and the sun, we wouldn't know about it for around another 8 minutes or so! / 2: Stop being so paranoid! / *eight minutes later* / 1: Phew
/ 2: See? / *one minute later* / *Everything is dark*
/ 2: Whatever man, you were still about a minute off. http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/42/ |
| New in Downtown! | *Horse floating in the ocean*
/ Come visit the equinarium! http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/43/ |
| Gotta Split | *Two amoebas talking to each other*
/ Amoeba 1: I have such a bad headache! It feels like my had is going to split in two.
/ Amoeba 2: Don't worry about it. / *Amoeba 1 starts splitting*
/ Amoeba 1: Ahhh!!! / *Amoeba 1 has split*
/ Amoeba 1: ... / Amoeba 1: Anyways http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/44/ |
| Raines has a website | Raines: Hey, the lefthandedtoons guys agve me my own little site!
/ Mikva: Oh yeah?
/ Raines: Yeah! It's at http://www.lefthandedtoon.com/misc/sites... / Raines: .../oh/yeah/dont/stop/keep/going... / Raines: .../yeah/thats/it/ooh/yeah/baby/youre/so/good/yeeah/almost/there/ooooh/yeeeaah... / Raines: .../index.php http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/45/ |
| My Invisible Umbrella | Sometimes, I hold my invisible umbrella when it's raining, just so I won't stand out too much. http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/46/ |
| Class Color Day | *teacher is standing in front of class*
/ Teacher: Class color day for spirit week, guys! Fifth graders' color is black this year, and remember, I'm giving extra credit for participation. So who remembered to wear black today? / Student 1: My socks are black!
/ Student 2: My watch is black!
/ Student 3: Jeffery's soul is black! / Jeffery: That's true.
/ Teacher: Alright! Points for Jeffery! http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/47/ |
| You Shouldn't Have Known | 1: Tell me when your ready
/ 2: Actually, it should be "you're". "Your" wouldn't make sense in that sentence. / 1: We're having this conversation in person, not over the internet. You shouldn't be able to see how I would have typed that sentence. / 2: What? Oh my god! No!!! http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/48/ |
| Erin's Hot Date | *Man and woman on a date eating dinner*
/ Man: Ow! Crap! I bit my.. um.. my... ahh.. what's it called...? / Man: What's the word for, like, this flap of skin between your chin and your bottom teeth? / Woman: Umm.. your "lip"?
/ Man: No no no!! It's not that! / *Man thinking. Woman looks confused* / Woman: Um... is it your "lip"?
/ Man: Yeah yeah! That's it! http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/49/ |
| Don't Hurt Me | 1: I might be paranoid, but I think you want to hurt me. / *Pans out to show man pointing a gun at him* http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/50/ |
| You. | *Two people at a table eating salad. Man 1 has salad all over him*
/ Man 2: You are very not good at salad. http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/51/ |
| Beard Talk | Man: Ha! My beard is better than your beard!
/ Child: I'm 7! / Man: So
/ Child: And a girl. / Man: Listen, this is the only way I can win this game. Just bear with me. http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/52/ |
| Mathems | *Two people are standing around talking*
/ 1: According to information theory, the number of ways to arrange matter in a finate sphere of space is finite! This has amazing implications! / 1: Consider the set of non-overlapping spheres of space that are earth-sized, one of which is our earth. If space is infinite, then eventually we will find another space-sphere with the exact same matter arrangement as earth! / 1: If this is true, then there must be another earth out there! It's probably the most powerful application of the pigeonhole-principle ever!! Now how can you say that math isn't fun?? / 2: Math isn't fun. Nintendo is fun.
/ 1: Yeah. 'tendo's pretty fun http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/53/ |
| The Joy of ... Something | *people sitting on a plane* / Pilot: G'evening, folks. This is your captain speaking. We've just landed down in Detroit... / Pilot: ...Home of the 2004 NBA champions, the Pistons...
/ Drunk Passenger: DEEETROIT BAASKETBAALLL!! / Pilot: ...recording artist, Kidrock...
/ Drunk Passenger: KIDROCK ... BAASKETBALLL!! / Pilot: ...and also, grammy award winners, Bob Seger and Diana Ross
/ Drunk Passenger: BOB...ROSS...BASKETBAALLL!!! http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/54/ |
| Inexperienced | 1: When do you think I should leave for my date?
/ 2: What time is your date? / 1: Seven.
/ 2: It's eight now... / 1: Did I do something wrong?
/ 2: You'll probably need to buy some flowers. http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/55/ |
| Crafting of the Stars | 1: Dude, Starcraft 2 just got announced!
/ 2: A sequel to a game that came out nearly a decade ago...woo. / 1: So, you wanna play me in Starcraft right now?
/ 2: Hell yeah! http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/56/ |
| Mom! Jeez!! | Son: Mom! Jeez!! Get off my freakin' back!!
/ Mother: Huh? What's the matter, sweetie? / Son: I need to go practice for music class!!
/ Mother: Practice what? You don't play any instrument. / Son: Yes I do!! / Son: I play fat man belly! / *Fat man being poked in the stomach by kid*
/ Fat man: LAA! http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/57/ |
| Did-You-Know-Bats 3 | Bat 1: Did you know that your mom is hot?
/ Bat 2: Yea mean, I'd totally do her. http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/58/ |
| But I'm octagonblind! | *Man pulled over by a cop. Cop is standing at the window*
/ Cop: Yep. I'm gonna haft cite you for stoppin' back there. / *Octagon sign that says go* http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/59/ |
| That one day over in that field | *Buffalo is speaking to a rabbit*
/ Buffalo: "Nintendo Wii" is actually the plural form of "Nintendo Wius". http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/60/ |