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| Pain is Funny | Man: ive come to realize that someone falling while riding a bike is universally hilarious http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/211/ |
| Erin's Hot Date, Part 3 | Woman: so, i have fun.
/ Man: me too! and for once i didn't find some way to make a total ass of myself / Woman: heh... yeeah. i'll see ya later
/ Man: g'night / *Man closes door. his phone beeps* / *Text message from date is displayed. it reads "gnite, cute feet!"* / *Man looks at feet to discover that he isn't wearing any shoes* http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/212/ |
| I Hate Birds | i have a car
/ *a poorly drawn car is shown*
/ it looks almost exactly like that, i swear / and the only parking spot i can ever find is under this one tree / and the birds / they always crap on my car!! http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/213/ |
| Mikva Makes a Checklist | your kisses: / 1. are way fun (yes!)
/ 2. are totally awesome (yes!)
/ 3. give you strep throat sometimes (apparently!)
/ 4. can end world wars (still unconfirmed.)
/ 5. are like sailboats that can take you to new martian worlds (what?!)
/ 6. you gave me strep (i think) http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/214/ |
| No Need to Investigate | *a dead man is on the ground. the number four stands there holding a gun while another man looks on*
/ 4: when the cops finally put two and two together, im screwed http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/215/ |
| Being Andy | i had a window air conditioner, and pigeons kept nesting on the vent.
/ *pigeons shown nesting on vent*
/ they crapped into it, so i was breathing pigeon poo air / i ordered pigeon spikes from amazon.com. they took months to arrive. when they finally called me, i misheard them. / Person on phone: i'm calling about your 'bird control' product order
/ Man: i never ordered birth control / so i covered my air conditioner in bird spikes. but the bastards moved to my upstairs neighbor's window and kept pooping. / and now all my amazon recommendations are things for killing birds http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/216/ |
| Helpless | *a man is standing with his arms on the ground to his sides*
/ Man: my arms fell off last week. i still haven't figured out a way to put them back on http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/217/ |
| Everyone's a Critic | Mikva: but then "revolutions" really brought everything together.
/ Raines: you serious? that movie was the worst sequel since "caddyshack 2" / Mikva: hey man, the caddy shack movies were one of my favorite trilogies
/ Raines: what?! that wasn't a trilogy! it's two movies! it's a ... it's a biology! / *both stand looking angry* / Raines: wait. http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/218/ |
| Burning Up | Man 1: i think i have a fever
/ Man 2: let me feel your head / *Man 2 approaches man 1 and puts his hand on his head* / *Man 2's arm catches on fire* / Man 2: you have a fever. thanks for burning off my arm http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/219/ |
| Yo Yo Yo | Kid who thinks he's cool: yo yo yo. i just joined a new webgang. ch-ch-ch-check it! / *kid flashes LOL symbol with his hands* / Impressed kid: how did you do that! http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/220/ |
| Very Observant | Man talking to woman: i like your hair. its better than mine, which is non-existent http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/221/ |
| I Have Money | Investor bird: hello! i am an interested investor! i have money and i want it to be more money! / Bird at counter: sir, this is the airport currency exchange counter. we're not really the best place for "investing"
/ Investor bird: i have lots of u.s. dollars. please turn them into british pounds. / Bird at counter: fine. your total is 49p
/ Investor bird: "p" stands for "pounds / Bird at counter: no. "p" stands for "pence"
/ Investor bird: "pants"? / Bird at counter: yep
/ Investor bird: investing is hard http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/222/ |
| Too Loud | *Man is listening to his ipod*
/ Other man: i dont think you want people to know that youre listening to celine dion, so i suggest you turn it down. http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/223/ |
| Potatoes | Potatoes: The meat of vegetables. / *a line to get into a club is shown. Potato is there with a bacon lady*
/ Steak Bouncer speaking to potato: you. you're in http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/224/ |
| 12:37:28 | i'm a binary clock
/ *a binary clock is displayed*
/ i'm totally useless to the majority of the population http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/225/ |
| Paper Boat | we lived near a river
/ it's a place i still miss.
/ and downstream is where friends and i used to fish. / we returned with our catch,
/ one day in the sprint,
/ to find my mom near the water
/ reaching for something / "i made you a boat,
/ but it got stuck!" she cried.
/ "i wanted you surprised
/ to see it float by!" / and that little story
/ amongst many more,
/ is the reason my mom
/ is way cooler than yours / *a paper boat is shown that says "hi drew!"* http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/226/ |
| B4 | before zombies / *many brains are lying on the ground*
/ Man: we really gotta clean up all these brains http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/227/ |
| More Poetry | *man stands on stage smoking* / Man: this poem is titled "the best palindrome"
/ *flicks away cigarette* / Man: ahem / Man: boob kayak racecar kayak boob! / *crowd applauds* http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/228/ |
| Who Are You? | *man is sleeping at desk. a man has walked into the room* / Man at desk: noo!!! i fell asleep on a notebook. now i have an imprint of the spiral part on my face! / Other man: can you please get away from my desk http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/229/ |
| You're Invited | *Man is holding a note in his hand* / Note reads "you're invited to my clabmake!! when: today where: my house bring what you can! / Man reading note: what the hell? / Man: yeah. i'm not coming to your stupid clambake. you didn't even spell 'clambake' correctly. / Friend 1: i brought the pipe cleaners and glitter!
/ Friend 2: and i brought the mini-bagels! lets make some clabs! http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/230/ |
| The Salesman | Man: man, i could really use something to eat right now / Salesman: hungry you say? / Salesman: well have i got the thing for you! / *frozen food packaging shown*
/ random frozen food product
/ ready in minutes!
/ 40 of em! http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/231/ |
| Soft Drinks | Country Man: so what kinda toyotas ya'll got here?
/ Man at dealership: sir, this is a ford dealership.
/ Country Man: ahh, summa them ford toyotas? woowee! how bout them chevy toyotes? got any a'them ya reckon? http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/232/ |
| B4 2 | before flowers / Man: im sorry i called you fat. here are some rocks http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/233/ |
| Professor Jaime | Professor: non-recent cinema releases provide the perfect resource for studying life before certain technologies / Professor: here is a clip from a film made c. 7bc (before cellphones) / Man in film: oh no! my car has broken down! now i must run 10 miles to the airport and tell sally how i feel before she flies to australia or whatever! ... forever! / Girl in class: professor, why does john not simply send sally a text message, to save time and energy?
/ Professor: hey how 'bout you try listening so i don't hate you to death? http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/234/ |
| We'll Go Out Tomorrow | Woman: can you call the restaurant before we go? there is a tornado warning right now.
/ Man: ok / *man walks off* / *woman waits* / Woman: what did they say?
/ Man: they said, "ahh!!! oh my god! hold on everyone!" / *woman looks stunned*
/ Man: and then they hung up http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/235/ |