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| Tactics | Some oboists resorted to taunts...
/ Person: Get your *own* concerto! / Others to violence... / Still others started selling rosin infused with anthrax.
/ Sketchy salesperson: Wanna buy some rosin?
/ Violinist: Yeah! / Another favourite tactic was to accuse the concertmaster of various venereal diseases.
/ Oboist: It's true. I heard he gave Frankie the clap. / But the best was yet to come... / {{Others simply broke into music libraries and re-catalogued everything.}} http://oboe-comics.com/2008/10/02/tactics/ |
| The Solution | For an oboist to discover a violinist's weak spot was no great feat. / We simply had to give them a taste of their own medicine: steal some of their music. / As for non-oboe-compatible techniques? Hum for double stops. Practice a lot for fast arpeggios and articulations. Turn vibrato into tremolo. / And soon we shall have our revenge. / Person 1: SEE?
/ Person 2: Fine. Jerk.
/ *The Globe and Mail*
/ Virtuosic 'Caprice No. 24' BETTER on oboe. Violinists say, "Well, damn." / {{Mwaha}} http://oboe-comics.com/2008/10/04/the-solution/ |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://oboe-comics.com/2008/10/08/timing-is-everything/">http://oboe-comics.com/2008/10/08/timing-is-everything/ | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://oboe-comics.com/2008/10/09/conclusion/">http://oboe-comics.com/2008/10/09/conclusion/ | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| Bach | Jim: Bach notoriously didn't want anyone ornamenting his music. / Jim: But Bach is dead and can't do anything about it. / Ghost of Bach: How many times do I have to TELL you people, if I wanted ornaments I would have put them in. Now STOP.
/ Danie: *ulp* / {{This is fiction, of course. The real danger is the historians.}} http://oboe-comics.com/2008/10/14/bach/ |
| Jim Mason | Jim: I've never been a fan of his playing. Probably because I don't like him as a person. He's creepy and has molasses vibrato. / Jim: Swabby! / Jim: STAY ON THE TIP. / Jim: We don't want to tick off the HIP people--Historically Informed Performers--now, do we? / Jim: See, that feels weird; like wearing a tuxedo with pink shoes. / Jim: It needs more...snake-charmerosity. / Jim: It's as easy as falling off a log! / {{I've been keeping track of all the crazy things Jim says for a while now.}} http://oboe-comics.com/2008/10/16/jim-mason/ |
| Let's Call the Whole Thing Off | Dick: Some people's vibratos come from their throats. Some vibrate from lower in their bellies. Some vibrate from some mysterious place in the middle. There is no right answer! / Ren: I vibrate from my spleen.
/ Dick: ...You may want to get that checked out. / {{My vibrato comes from my hat! It is a magic hat.}} http://oboe-comics.com/2008/10/18/lets-call-the-whole-thing-off/ |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://oboe-comics.com/2008/10/22/ninja/">http://oboe-comics.com/2008/10/22/ninja/ | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| Handel Was a Badass | Dick: Handel would've preferred the modern oboe. He'd have been all, "Throw those Baroque oboes into the SEA." / {{Why can I only hear Handel speaking like he is from the street, yo?}} http://oboe-comics.com/2008/10/23/handel-was-a-badass/ |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://oboe-comics.com/2008/10/24/hello/">http://oboe-comics.com/2008/10/24/hello/ | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://oboe-comics.com/2008/10/29/yellow-shirt-club/">http://oboe-comics.com/2008/10/29/yellow-shirt-club/ | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| Comfort | Reeds and Mattresses:
/ Comfort is the name of the game. / {{But mattresses can't give you slivers.}} http://oboe-comics.com/2008/11/04/comfort/ |
| Cary Ebli | Dick: And of course, your upcoming masterclass with Cary Ebli.
/ Kristen: You had better be there to protect us. / {{Cary Ebli is a scary, scary man. Not to mention a fabulous English Horn player.}} http://oboe-comics.com/2008/11/06/cary-ebli/ |
| Ratios | Playing with an accompanist: playing with an orchestra
/ as
/ Playing well: Playing with incredible nerves / {{Beth Ann won't glare if I mess up.}} http://oboe-comics.com/2008/11/08/ratios/ |
| Insignificant Details | Person 1: What's wrong? / Person 2: I got a "you're not living up to your potential" talk from Jim in my lesson today. / Person 2: Now I'm feeling depressed. / Person 2: And, I meant, I'm making pretty good reeds, it's just my playing that's not going well. / Person 1: A tiny, insignificant detail. / {{What kind of professor would ask you to *play* in your lesson anyway?}} http://oboe-comics.com/2008/11/11/insignificant-details/ |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://oboe-comics.com/2008/11/14/relics/">http://oboe-comics.com/2008/11/14/relics/ | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://oboe-comics.com/2008/11/19/tips-gone-wrong/">http://oboe-comics.com/2008/11/19/tips-gone-wrong/ | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| Studio Goblins | Aimee sits at her reed desk / < http://oboe-comics.com/2008/11/20/studio-goblins/ |
| Oboe, Interrupted | Jim: Danie, what do you think?
/ Danie: Well I--
/ Jim: I mean, about the way Heather phrased the end of that third statement?
/ Danie: I just thought--
/ Jim: Don't you think she should back away some for Gwen there? I know Baroque musicians like to swell on held notes, but in this case, I think it's better to stay in the background, don't you?
/ Danie: Yes.
/ {{I hate it when he does this when I have something to say. I like it when I don't have anything to say.}} http://oboe-comics.com/2008/11/22/oboes-oboes-everywhere/ |
| Oboesexual | Nate: Doesn't it suck having your boyfriend live so far away?
/ Ren: Who needs men when you've got an oboe like mine?
/ {{My oboe can't hold me tight.}} http://oboe-comics.com/2008/11/27/oboesexual/ |
| Whiner | Joel: I keep getting Baroque oboe gigs, even though I suck at it. / Joel: Why do they keep asking me?
/ Ren: We just don't know. / Ren: Although, you are getting gigs, so why are you complaining?
/ {{I wish *I* got Baroque Oboe gigs.}} http://oboe-comics.com/2008/11/29/whiner/ |
| Á La Mode | Miriam: It plays, but it's only at 67.
/ Miriam's teacher: Short seems to be in these days. / Announcer: On the red carpet today we have some fine-looking reeds dressed in Lorée, Glotin, and Forrest/Steven Staples, and looking sharp at about 66-67 mm.
/ {{Get it? Get it? "Looking sharp"? Hee. (Thanks to Miriam for the idea.)}} http://oboe-comics.com/2008/12/02/a-la-mode/ |
| Checklist | The Renegade Oboe's "Idiot Check" List of Stuff to Bring to Gigs
/ -Oboe
/ -Reeds
/ -Water and shot glass
/ -Music
/ -Tuner
/ -Shoes
/ -Shuriken
/ -Reed-Making emergency kit
/ -Cigarette paper
/ -Long black cloak
/ -Matches
/ -Mask
/ -Swab
/ -Granola bar
/ -Alfred
/ {{I'm the goddamn BATMAN}} http://oboe-comics.com/2008/12/04/checklist/ |
| "I Play the Oboe" | Ren: I play the oboe.
/ Person 1: It looks like a clarinet. / Person 2: What's that? / Person 3: Get away from me! / Person 4: I played the piano for a few weeks when I was 8; I never really took to it, but I've always loved music, I've been thinking of taking it up again...
/ {{I know it probably makes me a giant snob, but is it wrong to hate that last one?}} http://oboe-comics.com/2008/12/06/i-play-the-oboe/ |
| Water Problems | Aimee: I can't get the water out of my octave vent.
/ Dick: Have you tried switching to a feather? / Aimee: Yes.
/ Dick: Have you tried yanking out the vent and cleaning it? / Aimee: Yes.
/ Dick: Have you tried swabbing out every three bars? / Aimee: Isn't that kind of inconvenient?
/ Dick: Yes. But what can I tell you? Spit happens.
/ {{Oh man! The bad pun ninja may be due for a visit.}} http://oboe-comics.com/2008/12/09/water-problems/ |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://oboe-comics.com/2008/12/10/christmas-zombies/">http://oboe-comics.com/2008/12/10/christmas-zombies/ | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| Don't ask questions | Ren: I appreciate you coming with me to pick up my oboe, but...what's with the crowbar. / Moy: Oh, you'll see. Never doubt the crowbar.
/ Ren: Um...okay? / Ren: Holy crap...It's like they're all zombies! This whole mall! / {{Mmm, zombies.}} http://oboe-comics.com/2008/12/12/dont-ask-questions/ |
| The Point at Which All Molecules Stop Moving | Cary Ebli: This ritard does not go to 0 degrees Kelvin!
/ {{That's really slow.}} http://oboe-comics.com/2008/12/16/the-point-at-which-all-molecules-stop-moving/ |
| Bifocals are an okay excuse, I guess | Cary Ebli: Whoops, sorry. I just got bifocals. Up...down...point with your nose. POINT WITH YOUR NOSE.
/ {{I hear it's hard to see music with bifocals.}} http://oboe-comics.com/2008/12/17/bifocals-are-an-okay-excuse-i-guess/ |
| Straight Face | Ren: I love when Cary Ebli comes to give a masterclass. It's so informative! But I have trouble keeping a straight face.
/ Person: Why? / Ren: Imagine a tall, sturdy man speaking in a voice that sounds like Peter Griffin from "Family Guy," talking disjointedly about "your kazoo" and cursing.
/ Person: He calls the English Horn a kazoo?
/ Ren: Yep. http://oboe-comics.com/2008/12/21/straight-face/ |
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