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Vibrato Lesson 3: Vibrato / Dick: Try pulsing once every four beats. / Dick: Now twice every four beats. / Dick: Now four times every... / Dick: Now eight...and practice on your own. / Student practices...8 pulses, 16 pulses, 9 pulses, 7 pulses, 13 1/2 pulses... / Dick: Why does your vibrato sound like...
Fortissimo^2 The Studio and a Giant Oboe Take on Jim / Student: We'll show YOU a big sound! / Student (standing at the bell of the giant oboe): Ah, my ears! / Dick (swinging in on a ninja rope): Can I get 20% more?
Golf "Oboe reeds are a lot like golf clubs; highly calibrated tools of the trade where the difference between world-class performance and embarassing disaster is measured in millimetres." - Donald Baker
Hot or Not? NOT flute tuba saxophone trumpet trombone violin clarinet piano tambourine bass guitar french horn 'cello oboe maracas HOT / {{Note: this image subject to artist's bias.}}
Meg Ryan CANE AND LEOPOLD / Reed: That was highly uncivilized! / FRENCH DISS / Reed: You're looking very European today. / COURAGE UNDER WIRE / Reed: You've got to leave me behind! / IN THE GOUGE / Reed: You know what your problem is? You're frigging soft. Frig this, you know, I was playing just fine before I...
 
Cycle of the Social Reedmaker SUCK / Jim: That was terrible. / NO FRIENDS / NO ONE TO MAKE REEDS WITH / Student: I'm so alone. / DON'T MAKE REEDS / Student: Screw this! / DON'T HAVE REEDS / CAN'T PRACTICE / Student: Damn reeds!
Planting Person 1: What would you have to plant to grow an oboe? / Person 2: Grenadilla and nickel, probably. / Person 3: Rosewood and silver, of course. / Ren: PAIN AND DESPAIR!
Rosewood and the Creamy Reed You can't steal the rosewood without the reed! / Jim: Ahaha! It's mine!
Not Funny Heather: What? / I'm not going to say anything funny. / Stop!! / ...I'm ignoring you now. / {{Yes you are!}}
Coffee Jim Heather: Really? You like my reed? / Jim: No! The reed is horrible! But this coffee is GREAT! / {{Awww, poor Heather.}}
 
Double Reeds 101: Part One Moy: Welcome to My Oboe Insanity! I'm Moy! / Moy: But let's just get one thing straight... / Moy: The OBOE is NOT the BASSOON!! / {{No, it's not a clarinet, either.}}
Double Reeds 101: Part Two Moy: This is the English Horn! It is neither English...nor a Horn. / {{I *hate* it when people refer to all woodwinds as horns.}}
The Reed Moy: The Oboe Reed. Yes, this tiny little hole is just a small representation of what we can do. The rest of the oboe is like our amplifier. But how are we able to get such a big sound that is expected of us if we can only put so little air through? / MAGIC. / However, there are some things that can't...
Daniel vs. Oboe Ren: If you had to choose between Daniel Jackson and the oboe, what would you choose? / Moy: the oboe, of course! So I can lure Daniel *back* into my bed! That way I can have both! / Ren: You've thought about this, haven't you? / {{I love my expression in the second panel.}}
Ren is Scaring Me [[MSN conversation window]] / Ren says: KRISTEN! / --Moy--(in the Loo!) says: Yes? / Ren says: WHERE'S MY COMIC?! / Ren says: *Grin* / --Moy--(In the Loo!) says: umm...I don't know if that grin is good or not. / --Moy--(In the Loo!) says: ... / --Moy--(In the Loo!) says: Please don't kill me. / Ren says: I...
 
I Am So Depressed Right Now Greyhound Tickets to Toronto: $12.99 each way. / Day pass for the streetcar: $8.50 / Total $ required to get spring replaced and rod straightened (and buy 2 new colours of thread which were just too pretty to resist): $84.99 / Realizing that there is something completely different wrong with your oboe when...
Closing Ceremonies Announcer: Presenting...Studio closing ceremonies 2007! GRAHAM has left the studio. / Lora: Whose pregouger can I use? / Announcer: JANE has left the studio. / Justin: Whose shoes will I trip over now? / Lora: Who will cover for me in orchestra? / Heather: Who will be my friend? / Announcer: JESS has left...
Talking 'Bout Our Oboes Ren: My new knife is so fantastic! I can get it awesomely sharp, and so all of my reeds have super-thin tips; it's perfect for playing "La Scala", every note responds... / Person: I love it when you talk oboe.
Impedimoboe Dick: The first time you pick up your albert in the morning... / Jess: We're missing the dates between February 28th and March 1st on this schedule! / Oboist: Can you pass me the thing? / Oboist 2: The blue one or the shiny one? / Lora: Graham is going backstage to look for Jim. / Ren: He's going to...
Oboe Jokes #3: Technically It's Called a Semitone Person: What's the definition of a half step? / Ren: Well... / Person: Two oboes playing in unison! Two oboes playing in unison! / Ren: Oh, that. Only if one is a Baroque oboe and the other isn't.
 
Oboe Joke #4: They Just Don't Understand Person 1: How many oboists does it take to change a lightbulb? / Person 2: Only one, but they have to try at least twenty to find the right one. / Person 1: Crazy oboists. / Ren: None of them WORK! / {How many English Horn players does it take to change a lightbulb? Several, since they mostly mistake the...
The Renegade Oboe, Part II Person: I'll be back in a year, I promise! / [[Ren sits on a swingset, playing her oboe to the lonely man on the swing]] / {{The Renegade Oboe is an agent of loneliness and lost love. She is also very precariously balanced.}}
Oboe Hero [[Symphony onstage, ROCK meter in the green, coloured notes fly past]] / [[Ren plays Oboe Hero]] / Person: Use STAR POWER! / {{Oboe Hero is at least three point four times as intense as Guitar Hero.}} / Link at the bottom leads to RESULTS. / {{Take THAT Graham Mackenzie!}}
Qui-Gon Jim V Jim: Esther, do you want to play first? / Ren: Do I? / Jim: Yes. / Ren: Okay.
Qui-Gon Jim VI Jim: It takes a lot of pressure to play the oboe, to maintain the airstream. It's a force. Use the Force.
 
Knives Ren: I've been finding that increasingly my mood depends on how sharp I can get my knives. If they're sharp, I'm happy. If they're not, don't cross me. / Ren: Kind of silly how my demeanor can depend on a millimetres-thick piece of metal. / Person: Oboists live life on the edge!
Alex Klein Jim: I've convinced Alex Klein to come give a masterclass. / Moy: Excellent! / Ren: We can set our plan in motion. / [[Alex plays one of his famous low A's in a masterclass]] / [[The students inspect his reed and oboe with magnifying glasses]] / Ren: Find anything? / Heather: Nothing. / [[The students...
Alex Klein Jim: I've convinced Alex Klein to come give a masterclass. / Moy: Excellent! / Ren: We can set our plan in motion. / [[Alex plays one of his famous low A's in a masterclass]] / [[The students inspect his reed and oboe with magnifying glasses]] / Ren: Find anything? / Heather: Nothing. / [[The students...
Excerpts {"Listening to 'La Scala'?" "Nope. Miracle Fortress."}
Threshold of Pain Face 1: We were learning about sound today. / Face 2: Oh? / Face 1: Yeah. Did you know the human ear has a huge dynamic capacity? / Face 2: Really. How huge? / Face 1: Well the softest sounds we can hear are at 0 dB, which is the Threshold of Hearing. / Face 2: What's the loudest dynamic called? / Face...
Reed Water Kristen: *slurp* / Ren: WHAT ARE YOU DOING? / Lora: She's drinking her reed water. / Ren: NOOOOO! / Lora: Clearly she didn't see what happened to Graham. / Graham: *slurp* *sproing*
 

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