You're browsing the archives of SWiZZLESTUCK.
You can search these comics too.

show: [ show full transcriptions | abridged transcriptions | just the first line ]

Danny Pintauro blank
Koshiama Counts Down blank
Crossing the Street blank
Undress Me with Your Lazor Beam undress me with your lazor beam / the sun shines down like a buried hatchet / the armies of Saturday Morning Television are on the march / find me with your looking glass / the TMZ.com Newscopter will be back with updates / on the hour
Cling Clang Sing the Robots cling clang sing the robots / drinking oil from their glasses / it's been a good year for automation / we've got the humans on the run
 
Dennis Dennis the Menace...more like Dennis the Little Fucker
Over the River over the river and through the woods / to damaged disk sector CS-001518 we go / I've brought a basket of goodies / and a book in Olde FORTRAN that I will read to Grandma / as she defragments
Daffy Duck's Alarm Clock Daffy Duck's alarm clock has been smashed to bits / and magically reassembled by careless animators / countless times
My Ears Pop my ears pop as the sport utility vehicle climbs the hill / the soft leathers seats and digitally mastered piano jazz sizzle my brain / like diced pork in a wok / KATHUNKTHUNK / oh God what did we hit?
Be My Baby be my baby / be my baby tonight / oh would you rather we just fuck? / sure I guess that's fine / GOAT: baaa
 
Whosoever Pulls the Sword whosoever pulls the Sword from the Stone / is rightwise King / born of England / offer not valid in Michigan and Tennessee
E-Commerce Supernatural Horror DAHLIA: Hey, how did my Netflix queue get all screwed up? I had like 200 movies in here... / *POOF* / DAHLIA: Oh. Guess that was a dream. / DAHLIA: Oh crap, not again... / DAHLIA: Great. 200 meticulously selected films gone, replaced with Woodworker's Jamboree Vols. 1-17, some skateboarding documentaries...My...
cephalopod and son CEPHALOPOD: this looks like shit son / SON: I hate you dad
Der Worm DER HUR HUR HUR
First Wish NICK: I want you to conjure some new friends for me who actually SHARE SOME OF MY INTERESTS, like avoiding sunlight and listening to freeform radio and reading kitschy sci-fi novels and-- / WIZARD: Why don't I just make you less of a backward, spiteful social failure? / NICK: FUCK YOU
 
sock it to me NICK: Can't sleep until...comic is...done. Once you finish it maybe those assholes will finally respect you...you stupid sack of shit.
unconditional love DAHLIA [narration]: "Reality" television. / TV: i hate to be the one to show you this... / DAHLIA [narration]: You have always been faithful to me. Forgiven my transgressions. / TV: but as you can see it appears that Richard was with this woman last night... / DAHLIA [narration]: You give and give...
Ottie's Birthday Surprise, Pt. 1 blank
Out of Beans, Part 1 blank
Out of Beans, Part 2 blank
 
Space Value Circus, Part 1 blank
Space Value Circus, Part 2 blank
Space Value Circus, Part 3 blank
Blue Jay Way, Pt. 1 blank
Blue Jay Way, Pt. 2 blank
 
Blue Jay Way, Pt. 3 blank
4 a.m. in the Dahlhaus blank
Whole Day Off, Part 1 blank
Whole Day Off, Part 2 blank
Whole Day Off, Part 3 blank
 

Archive Page:
<< 1 2 3 4 5 >>