You'd think this would be what employers are looking for.
Mr. Jackson, the position we need filled is an administrative support specialist. Tell me a little about your education. It says here you're majoring in Lingo... Linguini Sticks?
Linguistics.
Right! Linguistics. And those are?
Language studies. You know, like sound systems, syntax, usage, grammar...
Oh yes! I'm very familiar. So you'd be good at Telling people how to speak correctly?
No sir. I don't believe in correcting speech. I listen to how people speak and describe it as objectively as possible, identifying trends from the data. I leave correction up to the hollow-eyed zombies in the English department who delight in regurgitating rules prescribed by old dead white guys.
My wife majored in English. She now teaches it over at State. She has employable skills. And a job. Do you see where this is leading?
...
...unlike me?
Ding-ding ding-ding-ding! Tell him what he's won.