s u b u r b a n t r i b e[[Two-shot: Mike, music store salesman, and Alan.]]
Mike: S'up Alan?
Alan: My life is a sour cream-and-dogshit eggroll, Mike. You got anything that'll keep me from drinking housepaint?
Mike: As a matter of fact: ...
[[Alan's eyes widen at the sight of the CD Mike has just given him.]]
Wow! Who is she?
Mike: Haley Bhairavi. She's a "classical crossover" artist from England.
[[CD cover: "HALEY," showing a beautiful Anglo-Indian woman, long flowing black hair, small caste mark, strapless gown, and eyes that look vaguely familiar....]]
Alan: She's beautiful!
[[Two shot, Mike and Alan]]
Mike: We just got her first CD in yesterday. Her U.S. tour starts next week.
Alan: Man, I'll take it! She just have the one CD?
Mike: Yeah, but we got all of her swag ... posters, shirts, DVDs, hats, coffee mugs, boxer shorts, tea cozies ...
Alan: Jackpot! I'll take two of everything!
Mike: Whoa, Alan! You're not turning into a consumer on us, are ya?
Alan: Screw you, Mike! Alan Woods is no "Mall Zombie!"
[[Alan has left the store. He is wearing a Haley T-shirt, a Haley wristband, and a Haley propellor-beanie, and is carrying two bags full of other Haley merchandise, all with price tags still attached. He is very happy.]]