( searching 67 episodes of Hellbent!)

• Hellbent #34 - Happy Feaster

  Priest: Thank you for joining us this Easter Sunday. Today we celebrate that he is risen-- Zombie Jesus: That's right, bitches, I am risen! And Zombie Jesus is pissed! ZJ: You've been eating my flesh and drinking my blood for two millenia, and it's time for some payback! But first... Zombie Jesus GOT to get his groove on! Ooh... uh.. yeah.. shake that ass when you're in mass, THAT'S the word of God! ZJ: Now behold the glory! Check out the rock hard body of Christ!
  
  

  http://hellbentcomics.com/comic034.htm

• Hellbent #35 - Today Was a Good Day

  Reporter: Here we are at hour eight of Catholic Crisis, where pastor John Smiley threatens to jump from the roof of the very church where he preaches. Is it drugs? Did this deranged priest lace the holy water with acid, inducing a mass hallucination in order to have a sex orgy with all the vulnerable elderly and young children? Probably! Reporter: Churchgoers report that a quote "Zombie Jesus" broke into the church, flashed the crowd, then reinacted Michael Jackson's Thriller before running off. Police are attempting to talk Father Smiley down now, but-- oh, it appears he's about to say something. Let's have a closer look. Father Smiley: The son of God spoke to me, and... and he t- t- told me he wants b- b- brains... and b- b- beer! Wine sucketh! Gimme a brew! That... that was the word of God... His w- w- will be done! Am-m-men! (Lou sitting on couch, watching TV, smirking, his Zombie Jesus gear on couch next to him)
  
  

  http://hellbentcomics.com/comic035.htm

• Hellbent #18 -- Mexicoma Room

  Kacey: Hey Lou, if you're done molesting your taco, I found the dessert bar. You have your choice of soft serve taco or meat cone... Lou? Hmm, a trail of taco leavings... Kacey: Lou, are you in here? SWEET HAMMERED JESUS! PREGNANT ZOMBIES! (Pregnant zombies shuffling towards Kacey) Worker: No sir, this is the Mexicoma room, for when you've had too much to eat and need to sleep off the tacos. But you can't bring food in here. These guys have lost all reasoning. They will overeat until-- (BOOM! Gutsplosion!) Worker: Chongo, we need the hose again! Kacey: Is that a lung?
  
  

  http://hellbentcomics.com/comic018.htm