Michael's Exciting Halloween SpecialJames: It's almost halloween! Let's do something Halloweeny, shall we?
Michael: Kay, like what?
James: Tell me a
Michael: Fine... let's see... Well, one, dark night, a blonde headed gentleman was in his living room with a friend. All was well until
James: Oh god!! Suddenly? What? What?
Michael: He realised that life was only finite, that he would die and one day be forgotten. And then he realised by extention that everyone he knew and loved will one day die too, and similarly be forgotten.
James: Aw, come on... thats not what I want to hear.
Michael: Moments later he realised there was no silver lining here. No afterlife, nothing beyond, just a gaping wide abyss that is always creeping closer.
James: Can we not just carve pumpkins or something?
Michael: Not only was life a flimsy, forgettable spark, it was also an illusion: a collection of poorly collected data through 5 senses,
processed by a brain soon to be surpassed by desktop computers, built in a meat cladding that breaks too easily and decays with every day that passes until you become a wheezing, immobile, wrinkly reject waiting for the end to come.
James: I just wanted to maybe go to a party dressed like Boy
George and get drunk?
Michael: Then he realised there were no answers- only statements based on events that require further study- that precious science he used for solace wasn't the solution, it simply used models to find further questions. With every scientific discovery there were
tenfold new mysteries- an exponential rise of absurdity and a further dissolution of logic.
James: How about we listen to Monster Mash and watch the Addams Family movie?
Michael: Finally he concluded that soon he would be gone and every action he performed, every conversation he spoke, every idea he had ever concieved, it was all a waste of time, all a pointless endeavor, like a spider, flapping its legs, trying not to drown in an ocean, in a storm, at midnight.
James: Michael!!! STFU!!! I don't want existentialism spooky, I want Halloweeny-not-actually-spooky spooky.
Michael: Oh, okay, fine, be like that. in that case... then a vampire
version of Gus Van Sant and a zombie donkey came in the room and said "Maaate."
James: Oo! I gots shivers!