( searching 719 episodes of Buttersafe!)
Five Little TurkeysFive little turkeys jumping on the bed [[turkeys on bed]] One fell off and bumped its head [[upside-down turkey on floor]] Momma called the doctor and the doctor said: [[female mouth and phone]] Doctor: I don't understand this. What you are describing literally sounds insane. [[doctor in lab coat on phone]] Four little turkeys jumping on the bed [[scene sequence repeats]] One fell off and bumped its head Momma called the doctor and the doctor said: Doctor: This isn't a normal thing for turkeys to do/place for them to be Three little turkeys jumping on the bed One fell off and bumped its head Momma called the doctor and the doctor said: Doctor: I am alarmed by the rate at which you are losing your turkeys. Two little turkeys jumping on the bed One fell off and bumped its head Momma called the doctor and the doctor said: Doctor: Do you keep calling me because you want me to help, or because you want me to know. One little turkey jumping on the bed It fell off and bumped its head Momma called the doctor and the doctor said: Doctor: That's it. That was the last one. All of your turkeys have suffered brain trauma and will soon pass. No little turkeys jumping on the bed None fell off and bumped its head Momma called the doctor and the doctor said: Doctor:No, I won't come to your feast of the dead. [[several platters of cooked turkeys]].http://buttersafe.com/2012/11/22/five-little-turkeys/
Five Little Turkeys
Our Furry New Friend[in bed] Ahh, another sunny Day! [pile of wood] Good morn - Dam?? DAMS Everywhere!!! Just another episode of Pet Peever the annoying beaver [beaver and person in a bathtub] Beaver: So why are you in my bed?http://buttersafe.com/2012/12/04/our-furry-new-friend/
Our Furry New Friend
SuspenseNarrator: In this comic: Narrator: Suspense [[Person in bed at night]] I hope I don't die in my sleep. Narrator: Soon [[Person in bed in the morning]] Phew.http://buttersafe.com/2007/08/16/suspense/
Suspense
Early Morning Stretches[[Bodybuilder wakes up in bed]] <<Yawn>> [[Bodybuilder pulls his arms above his head]] [[Bodybuilder stretches his arms and his head pops off]] <<STRRRETCH>> <<Pop!>> [[Decapitated bodybuilder lies in bed, blood spurting from his neck]]http://buttersafe.com/2008/08/07/early-morning-stretches/
Early Morning Stretches
Fortune Cookie Time[[Octopus and Saddest Turtle sit at a table holding fortune cookies]] Octopus: Ok, Saddest Turtle, it's... Octopus: FORTUNE COOKIE TIME! ...I'll go first. Octopus: "You Will Find Your Horizons Suddenly Broadened" [[Octopus gives a sly expression]] Octopus: ...in BED, that is! Octopus: Ha ha! In BED! Get it? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Saddest Turtle: Ha ha ha Saddest Turtle: That was funny. Let me see if that joke works with my fortune too! Here goes. Saddest Turtle: "You... Saddest Turtle: ...Will Probably Wear Pyjamas." ... ...in bed. ... HA HA HA! [[Octopus gives an unamused expression]] Saddest Turtle: Ha Ha Ha Ha! Hahaha! Haaa ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha [[Octopus is not amused]] [[Saddest Turtle keeps laughing]] [[Saddest Turtle smiles contentedly]] Saddest Turtle (thinking): That joke is amazing.http://buttersafe.com/2008/04/08/fortune-cookie-time/
Fortune Cookie Time
It's Gerald!{{IT'S THE ADVENTURES OF GERALD!}} Gerald: Oh my, look at the time! {{THE GUY WHO ALWAYS GOES TO BED AT AN OVERLY REASONABLE HOUR}} [[Gerald and his parents are sat at a table. Gerald sits on the right, with his Father on the far left, his Mother right of him]] Mother: Son, we think you should know... Your father and I are both werewolves, so there's a very good chance that you are, too. [[Gerald lies in bed, fully clothed, with his window open. It is night time and there is a full moon]] <<Z Z Z Z>> [[It is the next day, Gerald is standing outside with his Mother]] Gerald: I guess it skipped a generation?http://buttersafe.com/2012/10/18/its-gerald/
It's Gerald!
Morning InspirationIt's time to follow through on all the great ideas you have in the morning {{Note: No dialogue occurs in this comic; the man is merely thinking to himself}} [[Man is depicted showering]] Man: I should find a way to spend my whole life in the shower. [[Man is in the shower, now incredibly wrinkled]] THIS IS THE BEST [[Man, clearly tired, is staring at a spoon full of cereal]] Man: I'm just going to eat cereal for breakfast, lunch, and dinner [[Many cereal boxes and bowls are piled around the man as he eats]] NOT A PROBLEM [[Man is in bed]] Man: I'm never getting out from under these blankets. [[Skull has replaced his head on the pillow]] NO REGRETS Man: I refuse to ever wear anything but these pajamas. [[Man, happily deceased, is with two astronauts on the moon]] HOW COMFORTABLE [[Man stares out window at city]] Man: If I move to the woods I'll never have to do anything I don't want to. [[Bear holds up two halves of happily deceased man]] EVERY DAY IS SATURDAY [[Man is waking up, alarm clock displays 5AM]] Man: From now on, if I have to wake up this early I will go to bed at a reasonable hour. [[Man is dancing on bed with wine glass, alarm clock displays 4:55AM]] NOPEhttp://buttersafe.com/2010/11/04/morning-inspiration/
Morning Inspiration
We Have a Guest[[A dark room]] Character: Hey, who turned out the lights? <<Click>> [[The light is on, the speaker is looking at a dustily coloured figure who has been caught trying to sneak away. Some cockroaches fall off the figure as he stands there.]] Character: Wait, who are you? [[The character looks in confusion as the dusty figure crumbles apart into a heap of cockroaches who flee in different directions.]] [[The character is still standing in the same place, and is now looking at all that remains of the original dusty figure - a rapidly disappearing face, which is breaking into the last few cockroaches.]] [[We cut to an image of the character in bed, with the lights off. He looks mildly upset.]] Narrator: Soon. [[We remain with the character in bed, he retains his unamused expression.]] Character: OK, we are definitely talking rent in the morning.http://buttersafe.com/2010/04/20/we-have-a-guest/
We Have a Guest
Decisions[[Guy is sleeping in his bed]] <<zzz>>> [[He wakes up]] [[He rises very quickly]] Guy: Today I will make... [[He looks up and raises his arms]] Guy: Decisions! [[He is holding bacon]] Guy: Bacon for breakfast [[He is at a crossroad with a child]] Guy: Go right [[A shelf with an apple and an orange in the store]] Guy: Apples Text under apple: Apples 50?? Text under orange: Oranges Also 50?? Narrator: 14 hours later [[The guy stands on his bed]] Guy: What a satisfying day! [[He goes to sleep]] <<zzz>> [[In the newspaper]] Narrator: The next day... Text: The Timely Times Crisis! Global decision shortage after some guy makes them all Everyone likely to die, officials say [[The guy holds the newspaper in shock]] {{title text: Decisions}}http://buttersafe.com/2007/07/12/decisions/
Decisions
OccupiedMan: I think I'm going to move into this house! Man: Ahh! There's a person on the bed! Man: Ahh! There's a monster under the bed! Man: Ahh! There's a person in the closet! Man: Ahh! There's a monster in the closet! Man: Ahh! People in the attic! Man: Ahh! Monsters in the attic! Man: People must already live in this house. Man: My house is infested with monsters. Monster: Dude, I just don't get human logic.http://buttersafe.com/2012/09/06/occupied/
Occupied
The Prognosis[[Man is lying on hospital bed with a smile]] Doctor: I'm sorry Mr. Murphie. You're going to die. [[Man is still smiling]] [[Man looks surprised/scared]] Doctor: Forever.http://buttersafe.com/2010/02/25/the-prognosis/
The Prognosis
Too Early for Bedpanda: *haaaamh* panda: sleepy... [[the panda checks his/her watch]] panda: But it's too early for bed. panda: Guess I'll do the next best thing. [[the panda sits on stump staring into space]] [[the panda thinks about sweeping]] [[the panda falls asleep]]http://buttersafe.com/2007/07/10/too-early-for-bed/
Too Early for Bed
powered by ohnorobot. © 2024 ryan north. Logo by david hellman. Comic transcriptions © their respective owners!