Here is the highest-rated result from Reprographics (you can see all 71 results in this comic's search engine!)
That's A Big Key[[Chris and Mensa are on a red rock outcropping on Tooty Tooty.]]
Chris: Man, you're going to screw up the whole galaxy! This is the planet of wishes!
Chris: You've got to change the Visitors back and give me that key right now, buddy.
Mensa: Has it not sunk in yet that I am a SuperVillain?
Mensa: This is what I do, and you can't stop it.
Chris: Yes, I can, Mensa, and if you do not relinquish that key I will be forced to blast you.
Mensa: I will blast you before you blast me and my blast will be mighty.
Chris: You are cruising for a bruising, Mister.
Mensa: Enough talk!
Chris: Shoe untied!
Mensa: It appears my laces are in good order.
[[Chris snags the Key of Tooty Tooty from Mensa]]
Mensa: No! Not my beautiful Key!
Mensa: Hey, come back! Yates! You bastard!
Chris: See ya later, Mensa!
Mensa: Oooh! My evil scheme is in tatters!
Mensa: So angry. Oh so angry.
Mensa: Havoc! Pain! Death!
Mensa: And superdeath!
Here is the highest-rated result from Achewood (you can see all 5 results in this comic's search engine!)
Achewood - March 22, 2005[[Ray, Roast Beef, and Chris are sitting around in armchairs]]
Ray: Dang, man! Fatherhood, huh? You even see the delivery?
Chris: Yeah, I was right there with the midwife.
Ray: So what does a human baby look like right when it first comes out? Spill it, O!
Chris [[Off-panel]]: Like a dead booger that learned how to scream.
Roast Beef: Did you see Eraserhead
Ray: I tell you, man. A baby cat comes out, it's like,
Ray [[Gesturing]]: "Meow, people. Meow. Shit be good on this fine day."
Chris: Comparing a human to a cat is like comparing Deep Blue to one of those shoes that people with clubfoot wear.
Ray: Hey, man, don't knock my I-Quizzie. 183 is serious times, dogg.
Chris: You belong to Mensa?
Ray: Oh hell no, man. I hate watchin' unshaved librarians do the limbo under some dude's cane.
Chris: That's vivid! You went to a Mensa meeting, didn't you! Admit it!
Ray: Don't ask me stuff, man! You just had a baby! Be cool!
Chris: You went to a Mensa meeting and tried to smooth some broad with a bag of raisins in her purse!
Ray: Ain't you gotta talk on the phone to your mom about how the baby opened its left eye or something?
Here is the highest-rated result from Calamities of Nature (you can see all 5 results in this comic's search engine!)
Mensa Shmensa, Part 3[[Aaron and the guy from MENSA are standing across from one another.]]
Aaron: Don't be sad MENSA Guy, you're not completely useless.
MENSA Guy: I'm not?
Aaron: A physicist told me this slip of paper holds the key to all of the secrets of the universe. If only someone could decode it!
[[Aaron holds up the piece of paper, which reads: Complete the following analogy: Pear is to apple as Queen Latifah is to ____, a.) Rowdy Roddy Piper, b.) Spuds MacKenzie, c.) Pope Pius IX, d.) Nietzche, e.) Ol' Dirty Bastard]]
[[MENSA Guy is sweating with nervous excitement.]]
MENSA Guy: Oh my god! I can do this!! I can do this!!
Aaron: It's a joke, have some self-res-- Wait, did you wet yourself?
Here is the highest-rated result from General Protection Fault (you can see all 2 results in this comic's search engine!)
GPF Archive: Tuesday, October 3, 2000Ki: Nick, I want you to meet my little brother, Yoshi. He's staying with me for a couple weeks while my folks are in Europe.
Nick: Hello, Yoshi.
Yoshi: You ought to know, I'm ten years old, have an IQ of 208, and am smarter than you will ever be. I've already skipped three grades and plan to take college courses this fall. I've also beaten twelve Mensa members at chess and plan to redesign the space shuttle in my spare time.
Nick: Humble little guy, ain't he?
Ki: And how.
Yoshi: Did you know you have a bug in your code?
Here is the highest-rated result from Animals Have Problems Too (you can search just this comic!)
Animals Have Problems TooOtter rejected by Mensa
While we appreciate your ability to use simple tools, you failed to answer even the most basic of our anagram questions on the application.
That, along with the fact that your application smelled like fish, influenced our decision to not admit you at this time.
A Stupid Club For Jerks
Here is the highest-rated result from BoxJam's Doodle (you can search just this comic!)
BoxJam's Doodle Comics[[Ms. BoxJam reads a letter]]
Ms. BoxJam: Hmm... Mensa wants me to take a test... they think I could get in...
BoxJam: Pretty elitist - are you gonna?
Ms. BoxJam: No more elitist than an orchestra, or a football team...
BoxJam: Orchestras are trying to play good music. Football teams are trying to win football games. What does Mensa do?
Ms. BoxJam: According to this, they're going to try to take over the world...
BoxJam: And the funny thing is, I would actually respect that more!
Here is the highest-rated result from La vida en comic (you can search just this comic!)
009 ReflexionesYair: He llegado a la conclusión de que no necesito una novia
Yair: Soy lo suficientemente maduro como para afrontar el peso de la soledad sin ningún tipo de debilidad
Yair: Puedo ir solo al cine, a los museos, ver solo esas películas de arte, no necesito con quién compartir logros personales.
Yair: Además el tiempo de calidad conmigo mismo hace que valore los pequeños detalles de la autoestima.
Yair: Todas esas cursilerías de abrazos, besos, mensajitos, regalos, cartitas, veladas encantadoras
momentos románticos, detalles y demás cosas por el estilo, son realmente innecesarias. He dicho.
J.S.: Estás desesperado ¿Verdad?