( searching 927 episodes of Thinkin' Lincoln!)

• No Talent for Puns

  [[Skeleton Shakespeare, Zombie Mark Twain, Edgar Allen Poe, and Vampire Charles Dickens are scene here (pun! get it?)]] Dickens: I think we make a left up here, guys. The Undead & Affiliated Writers Conference should be up a few more blocks. Twain: Nice exposition, VCD. Poe: Guys, you know, I've been doing some serious soul-searching, and I've come to the realization that I just don't have any talent for puns. Twain: Nah dude! Don't say that! I bet you're fine at puns. Every writer always thinks down on himself at points. Shakespeare: I'm uh, I'm actually pretty good at puns. It's like one of a couple items I believe about myself. I c-can't let you have some though, uh, because, well I don't mean to be rude but I gotta look out for my, for myself on this one. Shakespeare: Oh William you better get in your bucket, I mean where do you get off bragging about your punmanship like you are some kind of Liberace of puns. I can't believe you want to tell Eddie Poe that you're a better dude than him when you don't even have any skin on your face and- [[Shakespeare is shown dunking his head into a bucket of water]] Poe: Skeleton Shakespeare! WATER you doing! from the side: Dang he wasn't kidding about being awful at this. from the other side: Where does he keep that bucket? {{Almost all the writers in my comic are undead. I mean Poe almost counts right? But then, just as you think you see a pattern, BAM you realize that Rudyard Kipling is apparently alive and well.}}
  
  

  http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=587

• The Science of Scariest Monsters

  Lincoln: I have a theory. I call it Abe Lincoln's Unified theory of Scariest Monsters. Lincoln: Or, well, I guess it might be a hypothesis. In which case I call it the Scariest Monster Hypothesis. Lincoln: You have to have a cool name for these things if you want the scientists to take you seriously. Lincoln: Anyway, so my idea is that the monsters that are the most scary and enduring in fiction and the cultural consciousness are the ones that can make you into themselves and you can't do anything about it. My main exhibits are zombies, werewolves, and vampires. There are tons of movies and stories about these monsters. My counter-example would be a monster like the Mummy or the Creature from the Black Lagoon. Sure they're kind of scary, but they dont really hold a candle to the others in terms of popularity. Darwin: Abe; have you done any actual research on this topic? Scientists care a lot more about proper adherence to the scientific method than about flashy names. Lincoln: Let's cut the crap, Chuckles. You and i both know that the only things scientists really care about are lasers, the female boobs, and electric stuff. Don't even try to deny it, either. I saw you reading 'The Journal of Applied Electro-Laserotics & The Female Boobs.' {{I, like scientists, am a fan of the female boobs.}}
  
  

  http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=301

• The Undead Writers Alliance

  Vampire Dickens: Gentlemen, if we could please bring this meeting of the Undead Writers Alliance to order. Vampire Dickens: Chair recognizes Wight Whitman. Wight Whitman: Yes, thank you. I motion that we devour the flesh of the living. Vampire Dickens: Motion seconded! Edgar Allen Poe: Whoa, hey guys, maybe we should... not do that? We could all just go get some burritos instead or something! Mark Twain: You would say that, Poe. You're not even undead! Vampire Dickens: Now Twain, come on. You know we made him honorary undead. We'll devour him last. {{title-text: Zombies, vampires and wights could all be said to devour the flesh of the living in their ways, but I think skeletons mainly just fight humans with like a rusty sword}}
  
  

  http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=834