( searching 2563 episodes of Scary Go Round!)

• Scary Go Round 20050502

  [[Hugo giving an address with his face completely bandaged. Tim and Riley in background]] Hugo: Friends of democracy! I am sure you can see with your eyes that I am in no fit state to govern. You have to understand, it is crazy like an abbatoir behind this mask. So I will return in 2009! Older, fatter, stronger! [[He turns to shake Tim's hand.]] Hugo: But I gots to give thanks to my main campaign man, Tim Jones. He is a righteous character who loves this damn town. Erin: It's a shame Tim withdrew from the race. Hugo's endorsement would probably win it for him. The Boy: Tim never withdrew. He just sat in his paddling pool with a bowl of cornflakes balanced on his stomach. A single tear nestling in his whiskers. The Boy: He tried to call the Electoral Commission but the phone fell out of his hand. That was followed by some low moaning.
  
  

  http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050502

• Scary Go Round 20050509

  [[The mayoral candidates are lined up as the votes are read.]] Reader: Here are the results of the mayoral election for Tackleford City and Borough. Bentley Quorn, Evil Party, 511 votes. Wanda Prune, Progressive, 3,109. James Mayor, Literal Democrats, 45,341. Tim Jones, Scientific Democrats, 59,194. [[Tim embraces Riley.]] Tim: My legs seem to have become irretrievably bendy, like a couple of bad boomerangs. Riley: Go on, go up and say something! Tim: Everybody, I promise to run this city with a clear head and a steady hand. And to quote Howard Dean: Tim: NYEEAAAAAAAARRRGGHHHHH TV reporter: Victory howl or transformation into ravenous manbeast? Who cares? Back to you in the studio, David. Caption: Election 2005 - SCI. DEMS WIN TACKLEFORD BOROUGH - Only minority parties represented in Y...
  
  

  http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050509

• Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison

  [[An official is reading results as the four remaining mayoral candidates are standing in front of a blue curtain. Bentley Quorn is wearing a black suit with a light blue shirt and a navy tie. Wanda Prune is wearing a green dress, a yellow scarf, and a light green turban-like headdress. Mayor Mayor is in grey suit with a brown tie, and Tim Jones is in a brown suit and a blue tie.]] Official: Here are the results of the mayoral election for Tackleford City and Borough. Official: Bentley Quorn, Evil Party, 511 votes. Official: Wanda Prune, Progressive, 3,109. Official: James Mayor, Literal Democrats, 45,341. Official: Tim Jones, Scientific Democrats, 59,194. [[Bentley is angry, Wanda and James look dejected, and Tim raises his arms in ecstasy.]] [[Riley Beckwith hugs Tim, but Mayor Mayor looks on dispassionately.]] Tim Jones: My legs seem to have become irretrievably bendy. Like a couple of bad boomerangs. Riley Beckwith: Go on, go up and say something. [[Tim has taken off his jacket and rolled up his sleeves. He is reading off of cards.]] Tim Jones: Everyone, I promise to run this city with a clear head and a steady hand. Tim Jones: And to quote Howard Dean: [[We switch to the broadcast of the event. Tim swings wildly and shouts, as promised. Shelley Winters, The Boy, and Riley Beckwith are watching from the audience. The reporter touches her ear and talks to the camera. The television chyron displays: "Election 2005 / SCI. DEMS WIN TACKLEFORD BOR.../Only minority parties represented in Y..."]] Tim Jones: NYEEEAAAAAAAARRRGGHHHHH Reporter: Victory howl or transformation into ravenous manbeast? *Who cares?* Back to you in the studio, David. {{story: The Election}}
  
  

  http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050509

• Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison

  {{Comic for 23 June 2005}} [[Fallon is sitting at a table, reading the paper and smoking a cigarette. Ryan is opening a bill that says FINAL DEMAND, wearing nothing but black briefs. He has a beard.]] Ryan: Mornin', Hot Stuff Fallon: I thought when the magic of new love died, it'd be replaced by a deeper and more profound understanding. But it's actually been replaced by a man in his socks and underpants who hasn't shaved in four days. [[Ryan is looking in the near-empty refrigerator.]] Ryan: Sometimes it's good to live savage for a bit, it opens up possibilities. I'm willin' to bet my animal magnetisms are already makin' it hard for you to concentrate. Fallon: No, no, they seem to be focussing my mind. [[Ryan has his hands on either side of his face, presumably feeling his beard. Fallon is leaning in and glowering. ]] Ryan: I'm growin' a handsome beard. It's sparse now but you'll love it when it's glossy. Fallon: Really. [[They are behind greenery, as if in a jungle.]] Ryan: You won't be able to keep your hands off me! Fallon: I might impress you with my restraint.
  
  

  http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20050623

• Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison

  Esther de Groot's Top Ten Awesome Ways To Die: 2006 Edition 10. Improperly pasteurizing goat blood in a "pagan" sacrifice ritual. 9. Blowing raspberries at the undead without proper flat shoes for running. 8. One year without Danzig!!! ROFLS!!! 7. Forcing oneself to read the entire archive of [[title scribbled out]] Editor: EDITED DUE TO MEANNESS - JOHN 6. Getting intimate with some pimply boy who listens to Cradle of Filth on 06.06.06 for the express purpose of bearing the Antichrist. Intimacy should be meaningful! 5. Eating ankh-shaped hot dogs with a mummy in a pyramid. 4. Car accident due to exploded black nail polish on windshield. 3. "Suicide By Unicorn." 2. Boiling in marshmallow while haunted by the ghosts of a thousand retired racehorses. 1. Listening to the audio track embedded in the myspace profile of everyone in your school. BONUS SKETCHBLOG
  
  

  http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060414

• Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison

  Shelley: Table 12B, it says here, can you see him? Ryan: There he is, Shelley! [[Tim standing in front of poster that reads "2002: can you believe your tupping eyes? ???the glow in the dark duck."]] Tim: Well, you see, it provides vital natural light around bodies of water, preventing unsightly "falling in", as scientists refer to the phenomenon. TV: At last night workers will be able to enjoy the same relaxing duck feeding pastimes that day workers have long enjoyed???
  
  

  http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20020830

• Scary Go Round :: Monday-Friday Comic by John Allison

  [[Some kind of headquarters or security center. Two slightly-horned men are watching the monitors]] <<WONK WONK>> Neville: Disturbance in Sector 3, Norris? Norris: Looks like a couple of silly girls running about. Might be a hen party gone berzerk. Neville: You might be right.. Hold on, pass me the Tackford Troublemakers Index. Neville: I knew I recognized her from somewhere -- _Shelley Winters_. Norris: Blinkin' 'eck, Neville, you've got a sharp eye. [[Page from the Tackford Troublemakers Index]] Shelley Endeavour Winters. b. 5/4/1980 Ladbroke Grove "La Pipistrelle" -- 5'4" #4 2004/5 rating: 2 Nosiness..........10 Disaster Power.....8 Financial Damage...9 Escape Factor.....10 Know Associates: Former Mayor James Mayor Amy Chilton Ryan Beckwith Norris: Only No. 4 this year? She's slipping. Neville: That's a domestic ranking.Word has it she was called up to represent England in the International level meddling.
  
  

  http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060515

• An International Troublemaker

  [[A couple of horned security guards are monitoring monitors.]] Neville: Disturbance in Sector 3, Norris? Norris: Looks like a couple of silly girls running about. Might be a hen party gone berzerk. Neville: You might be right... hold on, pass me the Tackleford Troublemakers Index. Neville: I knew I recognised her from somewhere- SHELLEY WINTERS. Norris: Blinkin' 'eck Neville, you've got a sharp eye. [[In the index]] Troublemakers Index 20-- [[headshot]] #4 2004/5 rating: 2 Shelley Endeavour Winters b. 5/4/1980 Ladbroke Grove "La Pipistrelle" - 5'4" Nosiness---------------10 Disaster Power--------8 Financial Damage----9 Escape Factor--------10 Known Associates: Former Mayor James Mayor Amy Chilton Ryan Beckwith Norris: Only no. 4 this year? She's slipping. Neville: That's a domestic ranking. Word has it she was called up to represent England at international level meddling.
  
  

  http://scarygoround.com/sgr/ar.php?date=20060515