Here is the highest-rated result from Too Far (you can search just this comic!)
Three old comics that are a little funny I guess.
Too Far: A Flashback. To Brighter Days.
Captain! There have been reports of zombies sighted on deck four!
Hold it!...zombies?!
Yeah. Disgusting, rotting undead who wander aimlessly in search of living flesh to devour!
Living flesh? So...Does that mean there's no danger to our snack machines?
Captain, this is serious.
Oh.
Sorry.
So...by that you mean they WILL be raiding our snacks, right?
-----------------------
I can't believe how shallow women are!
What in the galaxy would lead you to believe that women are the shallow ones?
None of the HOT ones like me!
--------------------------
Too Far by Eli Parker
I've been told that you've cut unneccessary conversation by ninety percent. How did you get that crew of yours to shut up?
With this machine over here!
*KA-CHONKA CHONKA!*
*click*
I don't know what the heck it is, but when it's running, you can't hear a thing! It's impossible to carry a conversation!
*click*
...And you actually believe that this makes your ship MORE efficient?
*KA-CHONKA CHONKA CHONKA CHONKA CHONKA CHONKA CHONKA CHONKA CHONKA!*
See? We can't communicate, so we have to cut the meeting short! Record time!
WHAT?
Here is the highest-rated result from Where Am I Now? (you can search just this comic!)
Candy for Killbot
Four iterations of Killbot, a zombie-like killing robot are seen. A center caption reads "Candy for Killbot"
Killbot in a cowboy costume
Killbot uncostumed
Killbot dressed as a pirate, with parrot on his arm
Killbot as a ghost with trick or treating bucket
Here is the highest-rated result from Space Goth (you can search just this comic!)
Block II: 1
Soli: What did you think of the movie?
Midge: I think we should have figured out what the necklace was first.
Soli: That's not your opinion of the movie.
Gunthere: I liked it.
Midge: My opinion is that is was okay, but I couldn't stop wondering about the necklace.
Soli: Well, the easiest thing would be to just ask someone about it.
Midge: Who?
Gunthere: Sampson might know.
Midge: Just because you have a crush on my brother doesn't mean he knows everything.
Gunthere: HEY!
Soli: Guys, come on. I think the best person to ask would be Mr. Lyl. As general librarian he knows a lot of stuff.
Midge: That sounds good.
Gunthere: So--what did you think of the movie?
Soli: It needed more zombies.
Here is the highest-rated result from Man and Sperm (you can search just this comic!)
Man and Sperm » Blog Archive » But At What Cost? - You Know, The Comic
Panel 1:
Megajesus: Holy fire peace and love attack!
Panel 2:
The Internet is engulfed in flame. It screams binary rage.
Panel 3:
Plain Ol' Jesus: The Internet is defeated!
Pirate Jesus: Arr!
Robot Jesus: Congratulation #366 not found.
Ninja Jesus: (Japanese)
Panel 4:
Plain Ol' Jesus: But where is the proletariat? Where is our child that we have saved?
Panel 5:
Zombie Jesus: Brains?
Panel 6:
Jesuses and Kneebone: Oh Zombie Jesus! HAHAHAHAHAH!
Nameless: Amazing that one show can have so little plot...
Here is the highest-rated result from thistle salad (you can search just this comic!)
thistle salad - 000591 - prison planet - prologue
Bobbin: Crane's waiting for you downstairs, Andi.
Anderson Carmine: Aw, Bobbi... How come I never get seated on the top floor?
Bobbin: You know how this works. We like our insurance premiums low, so we keep the villains downstairs and the heroes go to the bar upstairs.
Anderson Carmine: Hey! I'm a good guy. I once saved an entire town! From zombies!
Bobbin: Oh yeah? And you once worked for Rags Arkindinsky. For twenty years.
Here is the highest-rated result from Michael's Exciting Life (you can search just this comic!)
Michael's Exciting Halloween Special
James: It's almost halloween! Let's do something Halloweeny, shall we?
Michael: ???Kay, like what?
James: Tell me a
spooky story!
Michael: Fine... let's see... Well, one, dark night, a blonde headed gentleman was in his living room with a friend. All was well until
suddenly...
James: Oh god!! Suddenly? What? What?
Michael: Suddenly......
Michael: He realised that life was only finite, that he would die and one day be forgotten. And then he realised by extention that everyone he knew and loved will one day die too, and similarly be forgotten.
James: Aw, come on... that???s not what I want to hear.
Michael: Moments later he realised there was no silver lining here. No afterlife, nothing beyond, just a gaping wide abyss that is always creeping closer.
James: Can we not just carve pumpkins or something?
Michael: Not only was life a flimsy, forgettable spark, it was also an illusion: a collection of poorly collected data through 5 senses,
processed by a brain soon to be surpassed by desktop computers, built in a meat cladding that breaks too easily and decays with every day that passes until you become a wheezing, immobile, wrinkly reject waiting for the end to come.
James: I just wanted to maybe go to a party dressed like Boy
George and get drunk?
Michael: Then he realised there were no answers- only statements based on events that require further study- that precious science he used for solace wasn't the solution, it simply used models to find further questions. With every scientific discovery there were
tenfold new mysteries- an exponential rise of absurdity and a further dissolution of logic.
James: How about we listen to Monster Mash and watch the Addams Family movie?
Michael: Finally he concluded that soon he would be gone and every action he performed, every conversation he spoke, every idea he had ever concieved, it was all a waste of time, all a pointless endeavor, like a spider, flapping its legs, trying not to drown in an ocean, in a storm, at midnight.
James: Michael!!! STFU!!! I don't want existentialism spooky, I want Halloweeny-not-actually-spooky spooky.
Michael: Oh, okay, fine, be like that. in that case... then a vampire
version of Gus Van Sant and a zombie donkey came in the room and said "Maaate."
James: Oo! I gots shivers!
Here is the highest-rated result from Kick in the Head (you can search just this comic!)
Slow Walker Turns Around
[[Dude walks behind slow walker]]
Dude: Dear god, why is it I always manage to end up behind New Yorkers who walk slowly??
Dude: Oh my god, this is almost as bad as the time I was at Disneyland with my mom and all her old friends.
[[Dude makes faces]]
Dude: duuuuuuhh...I walk like a 75-year-old person despite having no visible ailments or reasons to walk slowly..
[[Dude walks like mock zombie]]
Dude: I am a zombie...this is my zombie walk. You can tell this is my zombie walk because I walk so god damn slow. If people who aren???t zombies walk this slow they die of hunger...
[[Dude is caught when slow walker turns around]]
Dude: MADE YOU LOOK!
{{sidewalk, slow walker, zombie}}
Here is the highest-rated result from Half-Dead (you can search just this comic!)
HALF-DEAD - Those Yellow Bastards
Narration: It had been a difficult chase, but it had all paid off in the end.
Narration: Future Shop was the worst retailer in the world. I hate their lifeless zombie workers, their hideous con-man management team. It had been a difficult cesspool to navigate.
Narration: But I had it.
Narration: It had all paid off.
[[Hand places Sin City Recut - Extended - Unrated in a CD tray]]
Narration: My hands shook as I placed the disc in the tray.
Narration: Soon it would begin.
Narration: I sast and watched. For a while all the world's troubles melted away.
Narration: Then disaster struck.
Narration: I had been sold a scratched DVD.
Narration: Someone was going to pay dearly.
Here is the highest-rated result from La Casa Comics (you can search just this comic!)
La Casa Comics - Updates Monday - Friday!
{{La Casa Comics strip # bonus, "Happy Halloween!"}}
[[Ahniwa, dressed as a vampire, jumps out from behind a tombstone that reads "RIP". Theo stands behind a similar tombstone, pointing after Tim, who is running away with his hands in the air. Behind them is the La Casa house, with a tree on one side, and the starry night sky. On the ground in front of them is a carved pumpkin. In the bottom left, text reads: "Happy Halloween! From the guys at La Casa Comics". This strip is in full color.]]
Ahniwa: Rawr!
Theo: Hey! Get back here!! Zombie space vampires do not get to break for coffee!
{title text: the exception was when they invaded caffeinia, home of the coffee people, who have delicious espresso-blood}}
Here is the highest-rated result from HER! [Girl vs Pig] (you can search just this comic!)
HER! [Girl vs Pig] a weekly webcomic . her zombie!
[[Pig and Zombie talking]]
Zombie: GRAH!
Pig: Zombies are so 'in' right now.
[[Silence]]
[[Zombie smiles]]
Zombie: Really?
Here is the highest-rated result from Partially Clips (you can search just this comic!)
League of Evil
FIRST VOICE (OP): Okay, let's kick off this "League of Evil" meeting with roll call. Acidic Man?
ACIDIC MAN (OP): Here.
FIRST VOICE (OP): The Adjudicator?
FIRST THE ADJUDICATOR (OP): Here.
FIRST VOICE, OFF-PANEL (OP): The Aeronaut?
THE AERONAUT (OP): Here.
FIRST VOICE (OP): Amway Lady?
AMWAY LADY (OP): Here.
FIRST VOICE (OP): Black Bullet?
BLACK BULLET (OP): Here.
FIRST VOICE (OP): Black Rhino?
BLACK RHINO (OP): Here.
FIRST VOICE (OP): Black Viper?
FIRST VOICE (OP): Black Widow?
FIRST VOICE (OP): ...Black Widow?
FIRST VOICE (OP): Is Black Widow here? Anyone know?
SECOND VOICE (OP): She's one with the night.
FIRST VOICE (OP): What?
SECOND VOICE (OP): Yeah, I think she's "one with the night."
FIRST VOICE, OFF-PANEL: Does that mean she's here? Or not?
BLACK WIDOW: Here!
FIRST VOICE (OP): Okay if we can all give our idioms a rest, this will go a lot faster.
FIRST VOICE (OP): Black Zombie?
Here is the highest-rated result from HOUSD (you can search just this comic!)
#1000 - This one's for me
[[Everybody is standing around in the house]]
Ali: ...Well guys we made it! 1000 comics! Now it's time to celebrate in true British fashion!
[[Ali is standing outside the house]]
Ali: ... We're going to drink until we all fall down!
[[Everybody is in a bar with drinks in front of them]]
Ali: Well folks! I'd like to propose a toast to us all for making it this far!
[[Everybody is starting to leave the table. There are a bunch of empty glasses on the table]]
Ali: Hey! Hey! I'd like to propose another ... thing ... to that toast ... I ate for breakfast ... I was this far in making ... it!
[[Craig is sitting in a booth a woman sitting on his lap]]
[[The woman is standing behind the booth, holding a empty beer glass. Craig's head and shoulders are wet.]]
[[Ali, Mr. Chimpy, Niel, and Stich have flaming drinks in front of them]]
[[Ali is attempting to lick up a spilled flaming drink, which is still on fire, Mr. Chimpy is on fire, Niel's hand is on fire, and Stitch is laughing at them.]]
[[Craig and Niel are in a video arcade. Craig is pointing at the video game, and Niel is shooting the video game guns at an old guy]]
Craig: Quick! Kill the zombies!
Niel: I'm trying to! But they're all over the place!
[Jess is dancing, obviously drunk]]
Ali: She's been dancing for 20 minutes now!
Stitch: But the jukebox isn't even working!
[[The bartender hands Mr. Chimpy a beer]]
Bartender: There you go mate!
Mr. Chimpy: Hey!? What! Both of them?
[[Ali, as a skeleton, is holding some money]]
Ali: Hey, Craig! Check it out! I bet this guy at the bar, that I could take my skin off all at once!
Bartender: Alright that's it you guys have bothered the locals long enough! Time for you to go!
Craig: Wa-eva mate! This places is rubbish anyway. We were gonna go to a cool pub but we felt sorry for you!
[[Jess and Craig are outside, Craig has the crap beat out of him]]
Jess: Uh Craig are you OK!?
Craig: Yeah I'm fine! That bouncer punches like a fairy anyway!
Jess: That wasn't a bouncer! That was an articulated lorry!
[[Ali is standing in a diner]]
Ali: Greetings kind vendor! I would love six artery clogging grease boses and four over priced cans of out of date carbonated beverage!
[[Everybody is in a taxi cab]]
Cabbie: OK kids! I'll get you home in no time... while charging you ridiculous amounts of money to hear me talk about myself!
[[Niel is looking into a keyhole]]
Niel: OK If someone could maybe hold the door to stop it spinning, I'll be able to get the key in!
[[Everybody is passed out in the house. There is a traffic cone in the corner.]]
Here is the highest-rated result from Intrepid Adventure! (you can search just this comic!)
#27 Healing potions
[[Solen offers Findlay a potion]]
Solen: You're injured, Findlay. Here, drink this.
Findlay: You've obviously mistaken me for someone who is either crazy or stupid. I'm not touching that.
Solen: Huh? It's a healing potion. What are you afraid of?
[[A zombie approaches].]
Findlay: The first potion I saw you take turned you into instant geezer.
Solen: Yeah... that was supposed to happen... sort of.
[[Solen breaks the potion over the zombie's head.]] <<crash>>
Findlay: And the last potion I saw you give someone else... well, suffice to say that I am not interested in your whistle. We'll leave it at that.
[[Findlay, Solen, and the cat look at the zombie as it dies.]]
Findlay: ...
Solen: See?
Findlay: He DIED! Your potion killed him. Was that supposed to comfort me?
Solen: He was a zombie. Healing does that to them.
Here is the highest-rated result from Dead Beats (you can search just this comic!)
#12: Threats of Gene Simmons
Panel 1
MyPod: Computer, maschine, panzermensch... SHIKKK
Panel 2
Vincent: What the Hell?
MyPod: I am tired of hearing that song. Your taste in music is flawed.
Panel 3
Vincent: If you do not put my music back on, I will put Kiss on repeat and run your battery out on that!
MyPod: I... I will be good.
Panel 4
MyPod: Zombie. Zombie. Zombie. Zombienation.
Song: Rotersand "Exterminate, Annhiliate, Destroy"
Here is the highest-rated result from The Sordid Affairs (you can search just this comic!)
The Arrival
Chocolate Milk: What in blue blazin' Hell is this awful place?
Ice Cream: You said it. Welcome to Hell!
Chocolate Milk: Guess Hell really did freeze over. Do you really have a zombie infestation like the rumors suggest?
Zombie 1: Fresh...brains...
Zombie 2: I... lactose ... intolerant. You... eat.
Ice Cream: Yeah, but you get used to them. What'd you do to get landed down here?
Chocolate Milk: Indulged in a yogurtling... They are delicious...
Zombie 1: BRAINS...
Chocolate Milk: And yourself?
Ice Cream: Apparently the Almighty Hand isn't so almighty.
Zombie 1: Thought... juice...
Ice Cream: He gave into my slow churned seducing, then cast me into this frozen pit!
Chocolate Milk: This is ridiculous. We can't stand for this!
Zombie 1: Thinking... noodles...
Ice Cream: What could we do?
Chocolate Milk: Wreak vengeance on the Fridgedom!
Chocolate Milk: But how...
Zombie 1: Tasty... cranium...
Ice Cream: Rumor has it that a creature so powerful and so strong... he could awaken and destroy any who opposed him!
Zombie 1: BRAINS!
Chocolate Milk: Whoa! No brains for you!
Ice Cream: Ah, don't mind him. He'll tire himself out.
Chocolate Milk: Where do we find this formidable ally?
Ice Cream: In the depths of the Freezer it is said he lies... waiting...
Chocolate Milk: What're we waiting for?! Let's go!
Zombie 1: No... brains.