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[[We see a bunch of people sitting in chairs in a circle. In the background we see a door and a sign on it that reads "Necrophiliacs Anonymous"]]
CAPTION BOX: Epilogue
/ [[The door opens and a zombie walks in]]
/ [[Medium-shot of the zombie]]
/ [[Medium shot of the necrophiliac from a few comics back. The Fetish Guy. He looks up, almost longingly at the zombie. In the background is a sign that reads "Necrophiliacs are a dying breed"]]
/ [[Extreme close-up of the zombie's eye. It's dull, lifeless, and milky]]
/ [[Extreme close-up of the necrophiliac's eye. It's bright, shiny, and has the zombie's face reflected in it. He has a huge smile on his face]]
/ [[Last panel now. All the necrophiliacs jump up in the air for joy, their chairs flying everywhere and zombies walking around. One is riding a zombie on its shoulders, one is fat and is rubbing zombie parts on his body. Even REK is there, giving a standard "famous guy" pose, winking and pointing at the necrophiliacs. A happy ending indeed. Sort of]]
[[We see John and Tim walking around the NecroComic-Con. John looks like he thinks something is up]]
JOHN: I'm getting a funny feeling about this place, Tim.
TIM: What do you mean?
/ [[John throws his arm around Tim's shoulder now as he tries to get the point through to him]]
JOHN: You don't see anything out of the ordinary here? Like maybe these people are...getting a little too far into their roles?
/ [[We see a shot from over Tim's shoulder. The "camera" shows a corner where some zombies are feasting on a human. Two of them are digging in, one is hitting another with the guy's leg, and another is walking into the wall over and over again. There will be a vignette around it, like in that famous scene from Dawn of the Dead]]
TIM: No, not really...
/ [[Back to John with his shoulder around Tim's. Tim is looking down at his feet]]
JOHN: Tim...there's one with a jaw...AND LEGS...trying to eat your leg.
/ [[Pan down to see the zombie in question. Sure enough, there is a zombie with no lower half and no jaw trying to gnaw on Tim's leg. We see a trail of entrails and blood following the zombie]]
/ [[Pan back up to Tim and John]]
TIM: Don't people usually have legs?
[[A huge splash page panel with 4 smaller panels in sequence to the right. We see the whole Mint Condition gang (including Expendy) in the main hall of the NecroComic-Con. There are dealer's booths set up and a sign with the event's logo on the wall (which I designed...not too bad if I do say so myself). There are tons of people walking around, and even people dressed as zombies for a cool effect! At least...I think they're just costumes...hm...]]
JOHN: Wow, this place is awesome. I can't believe it was free to get in.
/ [[Now starts the panel sequence. The first panel shows part of Nathan and John walking off panel, but John is looking back pointing to one of the convention zombies. There happens to be a random guy walking by the zombie as well]]
JOHN: And look at all the zombie costumes. They're so realistic.
/ [[The next panel shows part of John, but he's turned a different direction. This means he misses the zombie ripping off that random guy's head]]
/ [[Now he has the guy's head in his hand and he shoves a bendy straw into his brain]]
/ [[Now the zombie walks away, holding the guy's head like a soda and drinking his brains through the straw...wait...there are real zombies here?!?!? HOLY CRAP!!! That's right...real zombies...can't wait to see how this one turns out]]
[[We see John in the foreground, and the rest of the gang behind him, everyone of them in complete shock. We don't know what they're staring at yet]]
JOHN: Holy crap...
/ [[BRUCE CAMPBELL!!! That's right, Bruce Campbell at the NecroComic-Con. He's surrounded by zombies, and has random zombie arms hanging off of him. Also, he is pissed]]
JOHN (off panel): BRUCE CAMPBELL!!!!!
BRUCE: I WAS ONLY SUPPOSED TO SIGN AUTOGRAPHS!!! WHAT THE HELL!?!?!?
/ [[Now the gang run and hide behind Bruce Campbell. In the background we see Nathan face-kick a zombie]]
JOHN: Quick, save us Bruce Campbell!!!!
/ [[Bruce Campbell steps up now. He puts his hand out far in front of him, very heroic-like. The gang look pleased]]
BRUCE: Klaatu! Verata! NIKTO!!!!!
/ [[We just see Bruce's hand and the horde of zombies not affected at all by the incantation]]
ZOMBIE: Has anybody seen my contact lens?
/ [[Back to Bruce and the gang. He looks worried that it didn't work, and the gang look even more worried that it didn't work]]
BRUCE: Shit, the one time I actually get that right...
[[John and Nathan are leaving a movie theatre. We can see the big marquee in the background that has the title of the movie. In this case it's RESIDENT EVIL: EXTINCTION. Neither of them look too pleased about the movie. John is holding a soda]] / Nathan: Man am I glad we didn't go see that on opening night. / John: Would you do a chick zombie? / [[Nathan goes from pissed about the movie to taking John's question completely seriously]] / Nathan: Depends on the degree of decomposition. I mean if she's been a zombie for over a week, then no. But if she had just turned, then yeah, or course. / John: You'd have to do her doggy style though. That way, she can't bite you. / [[Nathan looks as if his intelligence had just been insulted. John tosses his soda away. What a litter bug]] / Nathan: Well, that just goes without saying.
[[We see Tim and John running for their lives away from a huge mob of zombies. That's it. Tim and John running like Hell]]
/ [[We see Tim and John run past Nathan and Expendy]]
JOHN: We have to get out of here right now!!!!!!
NATHAN: But we were just talking to this lovely lady.
/ [[John walks back annoyed at how stupid Nathan is. The "lovely lady" Nathan was talking to is a zombie, of course]]
/ [[John, still mad, shakes hands with the zombie lady. As soon as he grabs her hand, it snaps off, much to the surprise of Nate and Expendy]]
JOHN: Hey, how 'ya doin'?
/ [[Nathan gives up on the lady and starts to walk off]]
NATHAN: Yeah, okay let's go.
[[Nathan is sitting on the couch reading a magazine as John walks in, hair wet, and with a towel wrapped around him. He's also cleaning water out of his ears with his pinky finger]]
JOHN: Man, I'm still washing zombie out of my ears...speaking of which, sure is ironic that Expendy's blood carried the anti-body for the zombie virus. Too bad the only way for the cure to be effective was for him to die.
NATHAN: Yeah...hey, is the date on this paper right? It says it's November already.
/ [[Medium shot showing Nathan looking confused while pointing at the magazine]]
NATHAN: How the hell is it November already? We were only at that place for three days.
/ [[Medium shot of John as he explains]]
JOHN: Well, the comic only updates twice a week. And there's only so much story you can fit in that time. Sometimes story lines can run away from you.
/ [[Back to a wide show as Nathan is even more confused now and John looks nonchalant]]
[[We see only a pair of legs walking toward the "camera", dressed in a dirty white jumpsuit. It is an outside event, and there is an announcer speaking over a PA system]]
ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen! The NecroComic-Con is proud to present the one-the only-Resident!
/ [[The "camera" pans up and we see a midsection now. Yep, definitely a dirty white jumpsuit. Also, bits are torn off, we see blood splatters, and we can see decaying flesh underneath the jumpsuit]]
/ [[Now we see a face...or what's left of a face. He's a zombie, that's for sure. He's wearing a worn down helmet, giving a smile, a wink, and a thumbs up (the thumb also happens to be falling off). It's Evil Knievel as a zombie...]]
/ [[Now we see a wild fangirl run up to REK (resident evil knievel) holding a pen a pad wanting his autograph. REK reaches for the autograph book. We can see a setup in the background with a ramp, a ring of fire, and his motorcycle.]]
FANGIRL: Oh my god, I'm such a huge fan! Can I have your autograph?
R.E.K.: Sure thing...
/ [[When we thought he was reaching for the autograph book, what he was really reaching for was her. He grabs the fangirl and starts to devour her brain. She reacts appropriately]]
SFX: <<MRNCH>> <<MRMPH>> <<CRNCH>>
/ [[The fangirl starts to fall down as he lets her go. We see a huge chunk of her head missing, and bits of brain matter falling out. REK stands chewing on some brain and is holding the autograph book and pen]]
SFX: <<CHEW>> <<CHEW>>
/ [[The fangirl falls out of frame now, but REK stands there waiting to give the autograph]]
REK: So, who do I make it out to?
[[John is now hiding behind Nathan who is particularly confident at the moment. Tim is standing off to the side, not really caring, and Dave peeks his head out of the boo box that he's still in]]
NATHAN: And just who the hell are you?
/ [[Close-up of Clark's face as he reveals himself]]
CLARK: Clark Parker, private investigator. I've been tracking you all for months. And I've collected a laundry list of dirty deeds on each of you.
/ [[This next panel isn't so much a panel as it is the rest of the page. It's a near full body shot of Clark on the left, and a series of clips from previous comics where Clark explains that he's been following them. The top clip is from when John was on a date at a restaraunt with that girl, the next is when Nathan was pulled over for driving too fast in the DeLorean, the one after that is from when John threw that guy off the plane when he was going to Belgium, and the last one is a clip from the NecroComic-Con arc. It's the last panel of the last comic of that arc with Bruce Campbell fighting off the zombies. After each explanation of dialogue from Clark, there will be an arrow pointing to each clip to show which one he's talking about]]
CLARK: I was witness to your testimony of murder.
CLARK: I had friends in the police force track you guys as well.
CLARK: I followed you when you left the country.
CLARK: And I was there when you almost brought about the zombie apocalypse.
JOHN (off panel): Hey, if anything we prevented that!
/ [[The last panel is just a small square in the bottom right corner of Tim from his waist up pointing at Clark]]
TIM: Did you know you were wearing clown makeup?
[[We see John standing with clothes tattered (most likely done by himself for dramatic effect) and a bandanna wrapped around his head. Bruce Campbell is extremely scared, because they chopped off his right hand and the stump is wrapped in bandages]]
JOHN: I can't believe we made it past them unscathed.
BRUCE: You chopped off my hand!!!
/ [[John puts his hand on Bruce's shoulder. Bruce is screaming, and John is calm as can be]]
JOHN: Look, maybe it wasn't the best decision. But how were we to know you didn't have a chainsaw hand.
BRUCE: You people are insane!!!
/ [[John gets in a typical hero pose, headband billowing, coat billowing, and has his finger pointed out. Very confident. Bruce is in the background]]
JOHN: We can't worry about that now!
BRUCE: Why does no one care my hand is missing?!?!
JOHN: We have to find our friends and leave right n-
/ [[Just as he tries to finish that sentence, the rest of the gang (Jacqi, Jimmy, Jeremy, Tim, Dave, and Adam) show up and accidentally run into John, knocking him over]]
/ [[We see the gang trying to get up, but still piled on each other. Adam rises up from the back, cheeks sunken in, eyes not looking straight hands grasping]]
NATHAN: Oh no, Adam is a zombie!!!!
/ [[Jacqi and Nathan are standing, Nathan is holding Expendy's arm and using it to scratch the back of his head. John has his arm pointing up from the bottom of the frame]]
JACQI: No, actually that's just because of the open bar...
JOHN: So...let's go then.
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