[[Tackleford High School. 9pm]]
/ Sign: Junior Dance Tonight
<<FOOM>>
Girl 1: Alright, so this is pretty much the *worst* school dance ever!
/ Girl 2: *Dammit* Milford, what could have possessed you to *raise an army of the undead?!*
/ Milford: The ladies love the black arts! I stand by my choice!
The Boy: We need to get to the door...
/ Girl 1: *Quickly!* They're gaining on us!
Girl 2: It's *stuck!* We're trapped!
/ Milford: We're doomed...
<<CRASH>>
Biff's Friend: Quick, children! Through the window! I'll hold off the creepy crawlies, yeah?
[[Girl 1 crawling through window]]
/ Milford: Um, we better do what he says, he has a leaf blower for a hand...
Biff's Friend:Alright, you undead fiends... THE WEST-YORKSHIRT ANTI-ZOMBIE UNIT IS ON THE JOB!
[[fighting zombies...]]
/ Biff's Friend: Hmf! Zombie Biff: Rarrrrrrr...
Biff's Friend: B-Biff.. ? *Biff! No!* It can't *be!*
[[I remember how it all started, years ago. Just two young men with a dream.]]
/ Young Biff's Friend: Hey, wanna hunt zombies?
/ Young Biff: Okay.
/ [[Not realizing just how deep the waters we were treading really were. Just knowing there was a job to do, and we were the two blokes to do it.]]
[[Yet the undead are strange and complex creatures, and after our first zombie encounter we were forced to consider rethinking our methods.]]
[[Until...]]
/ Biff's Friend: Just because someone doesn't have a *soul,* doesn't mean they don't have a *heart.*
Biff's Friend: Hey, that's pretty *good.* Biff, what do you-
[[Biff is a zombie on the floor]]
/ Biff's Friend: Biff! Noooo!
[[I spent the next three years tracking you, fighting more undead every step of the way. Lost my hand. My eye. The coif of my beard. But I refused to stop.]]
[[I swore that I would be the one to put you down. But now, now that I have finally have you in my sights, I...]]
[[I...]]
[[Biff looks at him]]
Biff's Friend: I can't.
Biff's Friend: I... I can't kill you, Biff. Y-you're... You're my *best friend...*
[[Biff bites out his friend's heart or something]]
/ <<CHOMP>>
[[Mob engulfs them]]
/ Biff's Friend: Biff! Forgiiive meeeeee!
[[Zombie Shelley is standing behind Shelley, holding her up. Zombie Shelley has a demonic grin on her face and Shelley has blood leaking out of her head.]]
/ Zombie Shelley: Mmmm!
/ Lovely brainy goodness!!!
[[Zombie Shelley is clutching at her throat. Shelley is sticking her tongue out at her and starting to run away.]]
/ Zombie Shelley: NGGGURRRRKK!
/ Shelley: HA!
/ I was thinking about poison, you sociopathic rotter!
[[Shelley is running away; part of her skull is missing, revealing her brain.]]
/ Shelley: Seeya! Wouldn't wanna be ya!
[[Shelley leaps off the end of the space bridge.]]
[[Shelley is standing next to Zombie Shelley.]]
/ Shelley: Sorry goth girl, but I have to deck you in order to live!
/ [[Shelley punches Zombie Shelley.]]
/ <<BOK>>
/ Shelley: It is nothing personal to lovers of the night!
[[Shelley flees across the bridge. Zombie Shelley is sitting up, with a demonic grin on her face, baring all of her teeth.]]
[[Zombie Shelley leaps up and tackles Shelley to the ground.]]
[[Zombie Shelley starts biting into Shelley's head.]]
/ <<CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP>>
/ Shelley: Oh BUM.
Biff: Now listen here, zombie, right, your reign of terror ends here.
Sanjiv: We're going to fill your mouth with salt, sew up your lips, then return you to the ground with dignity, because we aren't animals, miss. Zombie Shelley: Whimper.
/ Sanjiv: It's a dirty zombie trick. Get the axe.
Shelley Winters: Sorry goth girl, but I have to deck you in order to live! It is nothing personal to lovers of the night!
/ <<BOK!>>
/ [[Shelley punches Zombie Shelley.]]
[[As Shelley legs it, Zombie Shelley gets back up.]]
[[Zombie Shelley tackles Shelley from behind.]]
<<CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP>>
/ [[Zombie Shelley starts to chomp on Shelley's brain. Her glasses lie smashed on the pavement.]]
/ Shelley Winters: Oh BUM.
Zombie Shelley Winters: Mmmmm! Lovely brainy goodness!!! Zombie Shelley Winters: NGGGURRRRKK!
/ Shelley Winters: HA! I was thinking about poison, you sociopathic rotter!
[[Shelley makes a highly impolite gesture toward her poisoned zombie counterpart, against the background of the British flag.]]
/ Shelley Winters: Seeya! Wouldn't wanna be ya!
[[Shelley Winters, jumps off the bridge into the world of the living.]]
/ <<POIT!>>
[[Biff and Sanjiv have ZombieShelley cornered in the ladies' room.]]
/ Biff: Now listen here, zombie, right, your reign of terror ends here.
[[ZombieShelley looks sad.]]
Sanjiv: We're going to fill your mouth with salt, sew up your lips, then return you to the ground with dignity.
/ Because we aren't animals, miss. ZombieShelley: Whimper.
/ Sanjiv: It's a dirty zombie trick.
/ Get the axe.
Tim: Come on, Shelley, let's go and stare at the bonfire for a while.
/ Sanjiv: I'm ashamed, Biff.
/ Biff: I'm going to take a long hard look at myself while wearing a scratchy old coal sack for clothes.
Sanjiv: The West Yorkshire Anti-Zombie Unit needs to become a more caring group, rehabilitating offenders in the community.
Sanjiv: Just because someone doesn't have a soul, doesn't mean they don't have a heart.
/ Biff: urgle
/ {{Zombie eats Biff's brains}}
[[Tim is leading ZombieShelley away from Biff and Sanjiv.]]
/ Tim: Come on, Shelley, let's go and stare at the bonfire for a while.
/ Sanjiv: I'm ashamed, Biff.
/ Biff: I'm going to take a long, hard look at myself while wearing a scratchy old coal sack for clothes.
[[Sanjiv and Biff are walking down the street.]]
/ Sanjiv: The West Yorkshire anti-zombie unit needs to become a more caring group, rehabilitating offenders in the community.
[[A zombie jumps out of the bushes and starts eating Biff's head and brains.]]
/ Sanjiv: Just because someone doesn't have a soul, doesn't mean they don't have a heart.
/ Biff (painfully): urgle
[[Shelley and Natalie are climbing over a fence to get to the space bridge.]]
/ Shelley: Are you going to try your luck on the space bridge, Nat?
/ Natalie: Does a mule's bottom stink to 'igh 'eaven?
/ It is ass squared!
/ YES!
[[Shelley and Natalie are hugging, next to the space bridge.]]
/ Shelley: Thank you for being a kind friend, Natalie.
/ Natalie: I will see you on ze other side!
/ We will meet for drinks at ze naughty 'ellfire club!
/ Bon secours!
/ Shelley: Yeah.
/ Up yours, Delors.
[[Shelley is standing at the entrance of the bridge. Facing her is... Zombie Shelley!]]
/ Shelley: My worst fear is talcum powder?
/ Curling tongs?
/ Whaleboned undergarments?
/ GOTHS?
/ Zombie Shelley: BRAINS a l'orange!
