The Unshelved Book Club presents "WORLD WAR Z, An Oral History of the Zombie Wars" by Max Brooks
[[Dewey is backed against the wall by zombie versions of Colleen and baby, Ned, Grandma, Mel, Merv, Buddy and Tamara]]
/ Dewey: When the dead rose to attack the living, it sounded like a fairy tale. Disbelief played a part in what happened next, but so did politics, profit, and ignorance. High tech weapons were useless against an enemy who only fell when their brains were destroyed, and who added to their numbers with every battle. These are the stories of those who did what was needed to survive and overcome the greatest horror imaginable. Zombie Colleen: Brains!
/ Zombie Baby: Brains!
/ Zombie Ned: Brains!
/ Zombie Buddy: Brains!
/ Zombie Tamara: Cauliflower!
/ Dewey: Cauliflower?
/ Zombie Tamara: Zombies can be vegans too!
The Stupidest Angel: A Heartwarming Tale of Christmas Terror by Christopher Moore
[[a bunch of zombies (including one dressed as Santa) are attacking a bar]]
/ Dewey: The angel Raziel is sent to Pine Cove, California to grant a child his Christmas wish.
/ There's a bit of a misunderstanding.
/ The town's dead rise, including one very angry zombie Santa.
/ They know everyone's secrets, and they're hungry for brains.
/ It makes for one wildly horrific -- and hysterical -- Christmas party.
/ It all comes down to and ex-TV actress off her meds and a giant talking Micronesian fruit bat
[[Back at the library, Dewey is booktalking to a guy]]
/ Guy: You had me at "Zombie Santa"
[[Dewey is talking to people wearing Halloween costumes.]]
/ Dewey: Vampire, great costume.
Dewey: R2 unit with broken motivator, nice.
Dewey: Zombie call girl, fantastic! Where's your bag?
/ Woman: I'm their mother.
Tamara: As requested, my budget for next year.
/ Mel: That's a lot of money for puppets.
Tamara: The old ones are wearing out.
/ And frankly, they're a little stinky.
/ Mel: Can't you just, you know, WASH them?
Tamara: They're too fragile. As it is, they look like the puppets of the living dead.
/ Dewey: And still you forbid me from doing another "Zombie Storytime."
LIBRARY TIP #48: IF YOU'RE GONNA PLAY THE GAME, LEARN TO DO IT RIGHT
Patron [[with tattered book]]: My dog...
/ Dewey: I don't think so.
Patron: It was like this when I ---
/ Dewey: No it wasn't.
Patron: Would you believe a zombie apocalypse?
/ Dewey: My boss isn't around -- try me
[[Dewey is sitting, wearing glasses and reading a comic. Tamara is behind him.]]
/ Tamara: Isn't that a 'girl comic'?
/ Dewey: It's my responsibility to give it a shot.
[[Tamara faces Dewey]]
/ Tamara: What's with the glasses? Is the comic 3-D?
/ Dewey: No, it's just very pink. So I re-tasked the glasses that came with my SpyKids DVD.
[[Tamara, scratching her head, stands beside Dewey]]
/ Tamara: I'm confused by the effort you,re putting into this.
/ Dewey: If I can't take it I'm going to stuff the "girl-friendly" section with zombie comics.
The Unshelved bookclub presents: The forest of hands and teeth by Carrie Ryan
[[A young woman in a gray dress runs along a dirt road in a high fenced corridor while gray monsters with yellow eyes lurk in the forest outside the fence.]]
Dewey: Generations after *the return*, *the guardians* continue to patrol the woods.
/ The fence and the sisterhood's strict rules, keep the villagers safe.
/ All it takes is one bite from an unconsecrated, then you have to choose between a quick death and wandering the forest as one of them, hungry for human flesh.
/ Generations ago, the world was different.
/ Mary dreams of stories of the ocean, and of true love.
/ Then her father disappears, and her mother strays to close to the fence.
/ The boy she loves speaks for another girl.
/ She's forces out of her brother's house and into theharsh, unforgiving life of the sisterhood.
/ There, she meets a young woman who isn't from the village and finds reason to hope.
[[In the library.]]
/ Man: Where would I find this book?
/ Dewey: Zombie section.
/ Man: Really?
/ Buddy: Lightbulb's out in the vampire wing.
[[ Two young boys cower behind prison bars, a green alien jailer yelling at them in an alien language ]]
/ Dewey: Two brothers just watched their father die.
/ Dewey: They're alone, trying to learn how to survive among hostile aliens on an Imperial prison barge.
/ [[ Cuts to a doctor in surgery scrubs with a robot holding her surgery tools ]]
/ Dewey: An Imperial doctor struggles to save the barge's injured prisoners, putting her at odds with the rest of the crew.
/ [[ Cuts to a stormtrooper in a scuffed up uniform pointing his blaster at an alien ]]
/ Dewey: A veteran stormtrooper has survived the worst that Imperial service could throw at him, but he may not have a chance against what he's about to encounter.
/ [[ Cuts to close up of a stormtrooper helmet with red eyes ]]
/ Dewey: The barge's engines fail 7 days out from their destination.
/ Dewey: They find a derelict Imperial Destroyer, and bring back the necessary spare parts.
/ Dewey: They also bring back a virus that sweeps through the ship, killing most of the crew and prisoners.
/ Dewey: Then the dead come back to life.
/ [[ Final shot shows "Star Wars: Death Troopers" by Joe Schreiber and two kids standing next to Dewey in Halloween costumes; one of them a stormtrooper the other a zombie. ]]
/ Kids: How'd you know we'd like this?
/ Dewey: Lucky guess.
Alexander: Hey Nastajia. What'cha reading?
/ Nastajia: Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice.
Kiwi: Oh! I adore that book!
Nastajia: Isn't it amazing, Kiwi?
Alexander: What's it about? Are there zombies in it?
Nastajia: Zombies? No...it's about...
Paddington: Oh! Oh! Does...Does it have sea monsters?
Nastajia: Heavens no! There's absolutely no zombies and no sea monsters!
Nastajia: It's a brilliant work of literature set in pre-Victorian England about an independent woman...
Nastajia: ...overcoming her social status while discovering a deep and passionate love that breaks the shackles of class and societal hierarchy.
[[Alexander and Paddington stare with no response.]]
Alexander: Hey Paddington. I've got a sword... want to go stab things?
/ Paddington: Ok.
[[Alexander and Paddington start walking away.]]
/ Alexander: Girls are weird, Paddington.
/ Nastajia: Boys are stupid, Kiwi.
The Unshelved Book Club presents "The Devil you know" by Mike Carey.
[[Several office workers are gathered around a table.]]
Dewey: In London the dead outnumber the living-ghosts, zombies and worse.
/ Most aren't a problem. When they are, call someone like Felix Castor.
/ But Castor's been off the job for over a year.
/ [[Someone's finger is being pricked.]]
/ To make ends meet he tried to do magic at a kid's party. It didn't work out.
/ [[A drop of blood hits the floor.]]
/ Luckily he's been offered another job.
/ A faceless ghost has gone from haunting the Bonnington Archive to assaulting the staff.
/ When Castor tries to find the ghost's anchor, he's attacked.
/ [[The office people are attacked by flying sheets of paper.]]
/ Now a demon is on his trail, and a local pimp is taking more than a passing interest in his activities.
/ There's more going on than a simple haunting.
/ Castor owes the ghost. Before he can make it disappear he needs to understand what happened to her and why.
[[In the library]]
/ Mel: All those precious, precious office supplies.
/ Dewey: Yes, that was definitely the point of my book talk.
