Standing man: Your career assessment test is complete.
Standing man: According to the results, you don't know anything! I wouldn't bet on you graduating from junior high!
Lil' Ferdinand: Then what job am I best suited for?
Standing man: A cop,
/ Standing man: here's a badge and a gun.
/ Lil' Ferdinand: Gimme!
{{As part of the "Lil' Calamites" sub-series, the characters are presented when they were kids.}}
/ Lil' Alp: What's the matter Harold?
/ Lil' Harold: Those bullies stole my lunch.
Lil' Harold: I don't understand how people could be so cruel! Can't they see that we all have to share this school together? We might as well be kind to one another, right?
Lil' Alp: I'm sure it'll all make sense when we're older.
{{Title: Lil' Calamaties}}
[[A classroom.]]
Teacher: Students, open your books for the reading lesson.
Lil' Harold: [[Hand up]] Teacher, all we study is reading and math. This is such a narrow focus compared to the range of interests and talents we might have.
Lil' Harold: [[Shrugging]] We might excel at art, cooking, problem solving, mechanical devices, dance, music, programming, or any number of things. Why can't we be exposed to a broader range of experiences, which would help us explore our place in the world, and give us a sense of confidence and self-worth?
Teacher: Because that's not going to get us better scores of assessment tests.
{{alt-text: When I'm looking at public schools for my daughter I can't help but keep thinking about that scene from The Wall where all of the school children are being squeezed through a meat grinder.}}
{{As part of the "Lil' Calamites" sub-series, the characters are presented when they were kids.}}
/ [[An elementary school classroom]]
Teacher: Put your books away, it's time for a math quiz.
[[Lil' Ferdinand reads the quiz.]]
/ {{Question 1: 1+1=?}}
[[Lil' Ferdinand writes his answer.]]
/ {{It took Whitehead and Russell 755 pages to derive the answer to this question in "Principia Mathematica" and you expect us to fit the answer onto a single piece of paper? Have you lost your mind?}}
Lil' Ferd: And people wonder why math scores are so low in the U.S.
{{Alt-Text: Well, after all that work at least we know that Whitehead and Russell were successful in constructing a perfect mathematical edifice that was both complete and logically consistent...}}
[[Lil' Harold and Lil' Alp are standing outside.]]
/ Lil' Harold: Did you reset your clocks for daylight savings?
/ Lil' Alp: Yup, sure did!
Lil' Alp: You know, I really hate how in the spring we lose a whole hour from the day.
Lil' Harold: Yeah, although our parents seemed suspiciously giddy about it.
/ Lil' Alp: Weird, don't they realize that this means on less hour they get to spend with us?
{{alt text: Becoming a parent changes your perspective on even the littlest things.}}
[[ Lil' Ferdinand in school. His teacher stands in front of a blackboard, preparing to hand out a test. ]]
/ Teacher: All right class, time for a Physics Quiz.
[[ Lil' Ferdinand sitting at his desk, reads a question from the test. ]]
/ Lil' Ferdinand: [[ reading ]] A pendulum of length L is suspended from an elevator. The elevator accelerates upward with a = 1/2 g . What is the pendulum's frequency of oscillation?
[[ Lil' Ferdinand writes an answer ]]
/ Lil' Ferdinand: I cannot answer this question because we don't have a fundamental physical theory of everything.
[[ Lil' Ferdinand comments to us ]]
/ Lil' Ferdinand: I actually use this for all my classes, even history.
{{ alt text: This is actually a really deep question: how do we know anything about the world if we don't know the fundamental physical theory behind it? }}
[[ Lil' Ferdinand indoors, perhaps in his bedroom, rocking out to music playing on his boom-box. ]]
/ Adult: [[ from off-panel, unseen ]] Turn that noise down!
Adult: Why are you always listening to that satanic garbage?!
Adult: Try something a little more wholesome-- Like Physics and Philosophy.
/ [[ Adult tosses Ferdinand a couple books. ]]
Lil' Ferdinand: [[reading a book]] Maxwell's demon?! LaPlace's demon?! Descartes' *evil* demon?!
{{ alt text: What's with all these physicists and philosophers always invoking demons? }}
[[Lil' Alp and Lil' Ferdinand are talking. Lil' Ferdinand is wearing yellow Hammer pants and a purple sequin jacket.]]
/ Lil' Alp: I've come up with my spiffiest idea yet!
/ Lil' Ferdinand: Hit me with it.
Lil' Alp: A network that will connect all of the computers in the world together, allowing everyone to share information and communicate!
Lil' Ferdinand: Dude, that's bogus! Why would people sit in front of their computers all day instead of talking to real live people?!
Lil' Alp: Yeah, I guess it is a silly idea.
/ Lil' Ferdinand: Later, I gotta water my Chia Pet. Now _that's_ a bodacious invention! Ch-Ch-Ch-Chia!
{{alt text: And you thought Al Gore invented the Internet.}}
Aaron: The last reader letter is from Jay in Austin, who asks, "How do you decide what to write about for each comic?"
Aaron: Well Jay, we're excited to present our first ever behind-the-scenes look at how we choose the subjects of our strips.
[[ We see Harold strapped to a spinning wheel with pegs around the edge and a pointer device. Sectors of the wheel are labeled: "Religion", "Lil' Calamities", "Pig Tree", "Science", "Tattoos", "Invention", "Health Care", "__a __ure", "Readers Mailbag", and "Bacon". Knives have been thrown at the wheel but only one has hit the wheel, two others are stuck in the wall behind the wheel. Ferd is getting ready to throw another knife at the wheel. ]]
/ Raymond: Uh, is it really necessary to tie Harold to the wheel?
/ Ferdinand: *What?!* Are you trying to *stifle* the creative process?!
{{alt text: How do I decide what to write about for a given comic? }}
