{{Guest comic by Josh Rosen}}
[[Caption: Tackleford High School, 9 pm]]
/ [[Sign outside says "Junior Dance Tonight!"]]
[[The school explodes]]
/ <<FOOM!>>
[[Inside the gym]]
/ Esther: Alright, so this is pretty much the worst school dance ever!
/ Erin: Dammit Milford, what could have possessed you to *raise an army of the undead?!*
/ Milford: The ladies love the black arts! I stand by my choice!
[[The kids run away]]
/ The Boy: We need to get to the door...
/ Esther: Quickly! They're gaining on us!
[[Erin tries the door]]
/ Erin: It's stuck! We're trapped!
/ Milford: We're doomed...
[[Sanjiv crashes through the window!]]
Sanjiv: Quick, children! Through the window! I'll hold off the creepy crawlies, yeah?
Milford: Um, we better do what he says, he has a leaf blower for a hand...
Sanjiv: Alright, you undead fiends... THE WEST-YORKSHIRE ANTI-ZOMBIE UNIT IS ON THE JOB!
[[Zombies attack him]]
/ Sanjiv: Hmf!
Biff-zombie: Rarrrrrrr...
Sanjiv: B-Biff..? Biff! No! It can't be!
[[Sanjiv flashes back to childhood]]
/ Sanjiv: I remember how it all started, years ago. Just two young men with a dream.
/ Young Biff: Hey, wanna hunt zombies?
/ Young Sanjiv: Okay.
/ Sanjiv: Not realizing just how deep the waters we were treading really were. Just knowing there was a job to do, and we were the two blokes to do it.
[[Sanjiv remembers the incident with zombie Shelley]]
/ Sanjiv: Yet the undead are strange and complex creatures, and after our first zombie encounter we were forced to consider rethinking our methods.
[[still in the flashback...]]
/ Flashback Sanjiv: Just because someone doesn't have a soul, doesn't mean they don't have a heart.
Flashback Sanjiv: Hey, that's pretty good. Biff, what do you—
[[Flashback Sanjiv finds Biff chomped on by zombies]]
/ Flashback Sanjiv: Biff! Nooooo!
[[a flashback montage of Sanjiv fighting the undead]]
/ Sanjiv: I spent the next three years tracking you, fighting more undead every step of the way. Lost my hand. My eye. The coif of my beard. But I refused to stop.
[[back to the present...]]
/ Sanjiv: I swore that I would be the one to put you down. But now, now that I finally have you in my sights, I...
Sanjiv: I...
[[Zombie Biff looks up]]
Sanjiv: I can't.
Sanjiv: I... I can't kill you, Biff. Y-you're... You're my best friend...
[[Zombie Biff chomps down on Sanjiv]]
[[As Sanjiv is swarmed by undead, he screams]]
/ Sanjiv: Biff! Forgiiive meeeeee!
[[LATER...]]
/ Erin: So how long are we supposed to stay holed up in this warehouse, exactly?
/ Esther: Until the military comes in, at the last moment. That's usually how these things work.
/ The Boy: I'm sure we'll manage to occupy ourselves until then...
/ [[Milford beats an upside-down zombie]]
/ Milford: Take this Mr Stanford! Assign me math homework, will you?
Riley: What shall we do with the slavering zombie? Can we turn her back into regular Shelley?
/ Zombie Shelley: Graggh! Brains! Let me Brains!
/ Ryan: I ain't doin' voodoo again. I think it invalidates my car insurance.
Tim: Last time she only bit a disreputable businessman on the head. This time she ate a Comfort Inn and half a Radisson.
Hugo: We got to be responsible, protect this town from sexy maniacs. Maybe turn a blind eye to a few so Ryan can get dates.
Tim: Hugo's right. Responsible. We need a voodoo priest.
/ Ryan: I might know a guy.
Tim: Is he... reliable?
/ Ryan: Well, if you can excuse the old "dook dook". And the old "sniff sniff". And the old "fugitive status".
[[Ryan leads zombie Shelley upstairs out of landlady's sight]]
[[Shelley looks forlornly at her reflection]]
[[The two sit on Ryan's bed]]
/ Ryan: Cup of tea?
[[Ryan is leading ZombieShelley up the stairs while his landlady sleeps.]]
[[Ryan leads Zombie Shelley through the string curtains at his doorway.]]
[[Ryan and Shelley are sitting on the ground, next to each other.]]
/ Ryan: Cup of tea?
[[Amy and Tim are inside the hospital cafeteria]]
/ Amy: How's Shelley?
/ Tim: I'm not a doctor, but I'd say that being hit by lightning reactivated every dead cell in her zombie body.
Amy: What about the man whose [[whispering]] brains Shelley ate?
/ Tim: By some incredible million to one chance, she ate the 90% of the brain that none of us ever uses.
Tim: That dudes just putting it down to experience, Amy. A lesson for all of us.
/ Amy: A lesson in not having a top on your head and being a grotesque freak?
/ Tim: He's wearing a hat and taking each day as it come. Would that we could do the same.
[[Amy is asleep in bed]]
/ <<Creak>>
Amy: CSomething's downstairs
/ <<Tinkle>>
Amy: Easy ol' gel... it's probably just a zombie...
AMY: SANTA
AMY: BUT IT'S MAY!
/ Santa: Heheh... I just wanted some cookies
[[Amy eats cookies with Santa]]
/ <<Yum>>
[[An advert reads: YUM YUM It's Cookies(tm) from Piegestive(tm)]]
{{Guest comic by Thomas Nohr www.solfire.com/~heiberg}}
Ryan: What have I done? This is just a shadow of a human being... I've defied nature and created an abomination.
Ryan: Come on, Shelley, say something! If you're going to eat my brains, do it! I know a zombie has needs.
Ryan: I've got to go to sleep, Shelley. Here's a straw. If you want brains in the night, just bung it in my ear and suck.
[[Ryan is sleeping with Shelley cuddled up to him wide awake.]]
Shelley: 'Thursday - Film Night - "Steel Magnolias", Guests Welcome.' Can't these people leave me alone?
Shelley: Why can't I have an en suite bathroom? Why do I have to be a stupid zombie girl now? Why? <<thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump>>
Shelley: It's funny. Kicking everything in the room to pieces didn't help like I thought it would.
[[Zombie Shelley pours from one glass into another]]
/ Tim: What's that? You have to... move water from one area to another... Ah-ha! Well be quick.
/ Ryan: Yeah, it's the picture round next. Pictures are pretty interesting, right?
[[Sign: LADIES]]
/ [[Sign: FOLK NIGHT every Wednesday - pies - pentangle - real ale - cardigans - enthusiasm]]
/ Shelley: Banjoes. Bouzoukis. Beards.
Shelley: MEEP!
/ [[Shelley is assaulted]]
[[Shelley reads note]]
/ Shelley: 'Thursday - Film night - "Steel Magnolias", guests welcome.' Can't these people leave me alone?
Shelley: Why can't I have an en suite bathroom? Why do I have to be a stupid zombie girl now? WHY?
/ <<thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump>>
Shelley: It's funny, kicking everything in the room to pieces didn't help like I thought it would.
