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College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives
[[ Dave is alone in the helicopter. His nose is bleeding and he has a severe headache due to giving Mike an eye-laser blast. ]] / Dave: (thinking) *GROOOAAAN* Man, some pretty colors... ow... he's gone, isn't he... dammit, even as a zombie he keeps tricking me... Why do I have to be so goddamned STUPID... UUGH. / Dave: (thinking) F---ing, Mike... hnnn, I swear to God... when I see him, ooow! I'll just tie his smithereens into a knot and blow them up from orbit with a brussel spr- / [[ Dave gets interrupted from off panel by a voice and a handgun pointing to his head ]] / Voice: Well, look who's come back for MORE!
http://crfh.net/d/20081210.html
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Monday, February 17, 2003
Roger: Why do I have to be your slave now? Dave is back! He's the one who owes you money! / Mike: Yes, but I can't trust him! How do you expect me to put all my shady business deals in his hands, when he's a brainwashed zombie spy? / Roger: He is NOT brainwashed, Mike! He's only avoiding Margaret because of that stupid letter! / Mike: Sorry, I don't buy it. You're it.
Roger: Well, when I get my hands on that nonexistant letter, you'll HAVE to let me go! The flag of freedom will raise again! The sword of justice will cut through the chains of oppression! The... / Mike: [[off-panel]] Shut up and wash my underwear.
http://crfh.net/d/20030217.html
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives 2009
[[April is sitting eating cereal, Margaret is standing next to her, a cup of coffee in her hand]] / April: So... yeah, how are things going at Dundun Island? / [[Margaret rolls her eyes]] / Margaret: Pfft! Well things are goin great for ME, but Dave's STILL pissed at me for some reason. / April: Yeah? But are they going to fix him or not?
Margaret: He's under treatment. He's getting better, but you never know... / April: What about Roger? / Margaret: I haven't seen him a lot. But fine, I guess. / April: Aaand... what about Zombie Mike? / Margaret: Well he...
Margaret: OOOOh No. / Margaret: No you're NOT! / {{Part of the "20 Plus" storyline}}
http://crfh.net/d/20091112.html
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives
[[David is filling out a form when theres a knock on the door]] / Form: does it inconvenience you to mingle closely with asorted bodily fluids from random strangers? No or No? / David: Seriously, man. -EEEW- / Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock
[[David shouts in the direction of the door]] / David: GODDAMN you Zombie Mike! I have told you a zillion times, I don't want to go to the Mall to eat! / David: Unless you mean in the food court, and you're BUYING!
[[Jerry is standing in the door]] / Jerry: Uuh, sorry, is this a bad time? I heard you're looking for a roommate but really, if you're just too busy shouting crazy things...
http://crfh.net/d/20080926.html
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives
[[Dave has run way more than he needed to to ditch Mike (yay, training and food!)]] / Dave: [[thinks]] I can't keep on running! I can't... huh? He's GONE! / Dave: [[thinks]] Lost him! Thank God!
Dave: [[thinks]] Oh man, I'm dead! What am I gonna do now??? Mike's gonna kill me, the DRAGON's gonna resurrect me and neuter me and then kill me again! And my kid is going to have a eunuch zombie loser daddy!
[[Margaret appears, startling Dave into ZIPping up off-panel into a tree, with...]] / Margaret: Uuuh Dave? What are you running away from? / Dave: YOW!
http://crfh.net/d/20100303.html
College Roomies from Hell!!! - June 7, 2006
[[In the girls' room at the resort. Marsha is in the bathroom.]] / April: [[thinking]] Jesus GOD, she looks terrible. I should do something, it's all my fault, I don't want any zombie better self haunting me... / April: Hey Marsha, you okay in there? Is... is there anything I can do to help you? / Marsha: [[off-panel]] Uh, yeah, I'm fine. Thanks. I just didn't get any sleep last night... / April: Well, maybe you should stay and rest, and...
[[Marsha comes out. Her hair is perfect. Sunglasses hide her eye-bags]] / Marsha: Nah. Nothing some industrial-strength hair styling gel and sunglasses can't fix. / Marsha: Here, you look a little bit dry. Try my watermelon chapstick. Catch!
[[April is in the bathroom with her scissors and bikini top.]] / April: [[thinking]] Someone needs help around here. / April: [[thinking]] And it's definitely ME.
http://crfh.net/d/20060607.html
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Thursday, March 6, 2003
[[Dave is taking a bath]] / Roger: [[off-panel]] Hey, Dave. / Dave: Great. More invasion of privacy. / Roger: [[off-panel]] I just wanted to say I found your notebooks. / Dave: Oh, thanks.
Roger: Are you OK? / Dave: No. Roger, why am I so stupid? Why do I always act like she cared? / Roger: Well, we DO have zombie antecedents... / Dave: I'm just kidding myself. She's never gonna change. / Dave: And if I want her to change... maybe I don't love her in the first place.
Roger: [[off-panel]] I'm gone, then. And Dave, stop staring at your thing. / Dave: I'm not. Are you? / Roger: [[off-panel]] Unfortunately. Your bath needs more foam. / Dave: Ba-pssch. Like I was the first naked guy in your bed. / Roger: [[off-panel]] Nothing like the smell of mind scars in the morning...
http://crfh.net/d/20030306.html
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives
[[Dave and Dr. Sydney are in the helicopter. Dave has just told Dr. Sydney about Margaret.]] / Dr. Sydney: WHAT? She's HERE? What, you didn't tell her about this place??? / Dave: Uh... yes... I did? / Dr. Sydney: How the HELL could you even let her come here? She's going to get killed, you little idiot! / Dave: I'm not the boss of her. She seriously punches very hard. / Dr. Sydney: Turn around. Get off this helicopter. Now! / Dave. Wwwwhat? / Dr. Sydney: We're going to get her, right now! Before she gets killed by the guards or that rogue mutant or the roaming zombie!
[[Dr. Sydney has Dave walk in front of him, gun pointed at Dave's back.]] / Dr. Sydney: Don't try to run away or I'll shoot you. You probably lied about her being your girlfriend anyway. Hah! Like I'm going to believe she'd fall for a loser like you. Walk! / Dave: [[thinking]] From "loser" to "laser" there's only ONE letter, chassis-face. Let's just wait and SEE.
http://crfh.net/d/20090202.html
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives
[[Margaret and Roger are in Mike's graveyard ... somewhere.]] / Roger: Look, Margaret. He's gonna stink even more than when he was alive, which was a LOT. Why did you have to bring a werecoyote with a sensitive nose? / Margaret: Because Dave would be whining? (unlike you, haha) Besides, I told ya, he's coming back! / Roger: Uh-HUH. Listen, do you see his tombstone? It says RIP, not AFK, BRB! / Margaret: My God, could you get more NERDY? / Roger: So you can say things like ASAP, but I can not? Boooo. / Margaret: Don't say "Boo!" in a graveyard! And you believe in lots of stupid thing, so why not this?
Roger: Because, Margaret, he's been dead for weeks now. No one is that badass, not even Mike, unless he is a zombie or a Warner Bros character! / Margaret: Mmh. Someone brought him flowers. Do you think it was Marsha? I'm getting really worried about her... / Roger [[looking alarmed]]: Naah, she would have brought him a sack of human heads with... OhmyGodsomeone'scoming!
http://crfh.net/d/20080704.html
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives
[[Dr. Sydney and Berlin stand before a room containing Satan's staff]]
Berlin: Are you getting some levels on that thing? Man, talk about fireworks!
Dr. Sydney: Pretty, huh? Only we still know nothing about what makes it work.
Berlin: We'll figure it out! We can confirm sentience, after all, right? I mean it can't be telepathy, this girl's brain is out to lunch.
Dr. Sydney: Could you stop doing the gun thing? Test is over, and it's unnerving.
Berlin: Aren't you coming down to see the surgery? Everybody else is going...
Dr. Sydney: Yeah, yeah, I'll catch up. I just have to file this data first.
Berlin: Gee, Syd. Even since you drowned you've turned into such a party-pooper.
Dr. Sydney: Do you know there's still sand in my feces? Talk about a party pooping.
[[Zombie Mike stands next to Dr. Sydney, about to pat him in the shoulder.]]
Dr. Sydney [[thinking]]: You utterly disgusting sick freak.
http://crfh.net/d/20081201.html
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