Shelley and Amy: <<Aaaah!>>
/ Amy: Can this get any worse?
Shelley: Remember our discussion about that sort of exclamations?
/ Amy: Yes, it was more of a monalogue. And I believe it went "Amy, don't make that sort of exclamations".
Amy: Right. 'cuz it's bad voodoo. But nobody does that voodoo better than we do!
/ Shelley: Ames, there are legions of the risen unded on our heels. These aren't frat boys, they're zombies.
Shelley: Animated corpses that would rather suck out your cerebellum than peek at your knickers.
Amy: Oh, fine. Last week it's "I wish I could find a boy who was interested in my brain and not my body" and now you're all "aaaugh zombies!" Seriously, Shel. Make up your damn mind.
[[Amy and Shelley are running from assorted monsters]]
/ <<Aaaah!>>
/ Amy: Can this get any worse?
[[Shelley slamming the door shut on the monsters while Amy is standing to her right]]
/ Shelley: Remember our discussion about that sort of exclamations?
/ Amy: Yes, it was more of a monologue. And I believe it went "Amy, don't make that sort of exclamations"
[[Monsters are trying to break down the door]]
/ Monsters: Growl
/ Amy: Right. 'Cuz it's bad voodoo.
/ Amy: But nobody does that voodoo better than we do!
/ Shelley: Ames, there are legions of the risen unded on our heels. These aren't frat boys, they're ZOMBIES.
[[Shelley motioning with her hands]]
/ Shelley: Animated corpses that would rather suck out your cerebellum than peek at your knickers.
[[Amy being dragged away by Shelley]]
/ Amy: Oh, fine. Last week it's "I wish I could find a boy who was interested in my brain and not my body"
/ Amy: And now you're all "Aaaugh zombies!" Seriously, Shel. Make up your damn mind.
{{Guest strip by Liz Groenveld from www.stuffsucks.com comics}}
[[Percy and ZombieShelley are walking onto the golf course.]]
/ Percy: Shelley, can you smell the golf course?
/ Can you feel it?
/ Shelley: Yes Mr Percy.
/ If Jesus were here he would basically be hitting high fives with everyone.
[[Amy and Tim are walking to the golf club's clubhouse.]]
/ Amy: I'm nervous, Tim, I'm worried.
/ I'm only helping you out.
/ I could go all crazy in the meeting and blow the deal.
/ Tim: Management is all about appearing to be awake while actually asleep, so just speak loud enough to register subliminally.
/ Like THIS THING IS REAL DANG GOOD NO WAY YEAH SWEET MARY WOW!
[[Ryan, Tim, and ZombieShelley are standing together. ZombieShelley has her fist out towards the Devil, who is poking at his mouth with his finger.]]
/ Devil: Ow!
/ You ASS!
/ Ow!
/ Ow!
/ You made a little bit of blood come out of my mouth!
/ Ryan: Maybe we can go... shoppin', tomorrow...
/ ZombieShelley: Gappa-POW!
[[Ralph appears and helps the Devil down the street.]]
/ Ralph: Come on, Dev, let's get you home.
/ It's a foolish customer tangles with a crossed lady.
/ Devil: Look!
/ Blood!
Ralph: An angry woman is like a runaway steam train: A man in the way sure ain't going to stop her.
/ Devil: That's soothing, Ralph.
[[The Devil is facing Tim, Ryan, and ZombieShelley.]]
/ Ryan: Listen, Satan -- if that's your real name -- I don't owe you no damn soul or nothing.
Devil: I brought your little princess back from the dead.
/ That isn't cheap!
/ And I need souls as an inexpensive winter fuel.
Devil: Do you know what it's like, trying to keep the underworld heated?
/ It's Hell!
/ Ha ha!
/ I am the dark prince of your "observational humour" also!
/ Ryan: Dear God, please don't make me have to spend eternity with this guy.
/ I totally renounce thinking about girls in a low-down way.
[[Tim, Ryan, and ZombieShelley are standing around the bonfire, watching it.]]
/ A voice (off-frame): Excuse me.
/ Ryan Beckwith?
[[The Devil appears in a flash of red.]]
/ Devil: I believe you owe me your soup.
/ Oh, wait, no, can't read my own writing.
/ SOUL.
/ You owe me your soul.
/ ZombieShelley: Ryan...
/ Ryan: Tim, turn round for a second and tell me that's just a Marvin Gaye fan with a switchblade.
[[Tim bursts into the bathroom as Biff and Sanjiv are trying to fill ZombieShelley's mouth with salt.]]
/ Tim: WHAT IN HELL'S NAME IS GOING ON HERE?
[[Shelley runs to Tim and hugs him.]]
/ Tim: When a man sees two gentlemen taking a tupping liberty with a lady friend of his, he seeks quick answers then he starts swinging!
Biff: Your "lady friend" is a member of the undead!
/ We were... taking her down...
/ Sanjiv: Yeah.
/ Tim: Christ, man!
/ She's pale and no stranger to the casket, but the family of man needs harmony, be we white, black... or mottled grey1
[[Tim and Ryan are sitting at a booth in the pub.]]
/ Tim: Shelley's been a long time in the toilet.
/ Makes me nervous
/ Ryan: She's not going to be killed on the way to the ladies' TWICE.
Tim: When was the last time you heard of someone dying on the way to the toilet, being re-animated, then dying there again?
/ Ryan: Um...
[[ZombieShelley has been cornered by Biff and Sanjiv, who are trying to feed her salt.]]
/ Biff: She keeps spitting the salt out.
/ How can I fill her mouth with salt if she keeps spitting it out?
/ ZombieShelley (sarcastically): You could make a sort of valve.
/ I don't know what you could make it from.
/ Sanjiv: Yeah...
/ A valve...
/ DANG, Biff, she's making fun of us.
/ MY FEELINGS ARE GETTING HURT.
[[ZombieShelley is curled in the corner. Biff and Sanjiv are standing next to her.]]
/ Biff: I'm feeling moral, I can't do it!
/ Sanjiv: Biff, what does your dad do?
/ Biff: He's a butcher.
Sanjiv: Maybe big-face here is too timid to eat anyone's brains, but what's to say she isn't gong to be round the back of your dad's shop tucking into the brawn?
Biff: Open wide, sweetheart.
/ This won't hurt a bit.
/ It'll... just be very, very salty.
/ Sanjiv: Jar, NOT PACKETS, Biff.
[[Ryan and Tim are sitting at a booth. ZombieShelley is standing next to the booth, pouring beer from one cup into another.]]
/ Tim: What's that?
/ You have to...
/ move water from one area to another...
/ Ah-ha!
/ Well be quick.
/ Ryan: Yeah, it's the picture round next.
/ Pictures are pretty interesting, right?
[[ZombieShelley is walking towards the ladies room. She is looking at a poster advertising "Folk Night", which is on the wall to her right.]]
/ ZombieShelley: Banjos.
/ Bouzoukis.
/ BEARDS.
[[Someone grabs ZombieShelley, pulling her off to the left.]]
/ ZombieShelley: MEEP!
