Showing 1 - 10 of 13 results. |
cephalopods: oh my goodness what went wrong
T-Rex: Damned sinister raccoons are still hanging around outside my house! And just when I thought things couldn't get more freaky, their cephalopod friends showed up! / T-Rex: I was like,
T-Rex: "What? AAAAHHHHH!"
Dromiceiomimus: Cephalopods? Like squid? / T-Rex: Squid cuttlefish, and other similarly baleful creatures are all members of the cephalopod family, characterized by HUGE EYS, BEAKS, INTELLIGENCE, and AMBITION.
Utahraptor: I thought cephalopods were underwater animals! / T-Rex: They played us for suckers!
Utahraptor: Well, maybe they're friendly! Maybe they just want to be your friend? / T-Rex: They're jet powered, did you know that? They're jet-powered animals and their heads are covered in PREHENSILE TENTACLES. They're carnivorous and most are cannibals!
Narrator: THAT NIGHT: / T-Rex: I don't want any trouble, cephalopods! / Cephalopods: T-REX, WE'RE GOING TO SNEAK INTO BED WITH YOU TONIGHT! / Cephalopods: WE'LL BE LIKE / Cephalopods: "HELLO T-REX"
http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=493
cakes that are just cake on the inside: so 2009; holy crap dudes we are almost living in 2010!!
Raccoons and cephalopods: HI NEIGHBOUR! CAN WE BORROW A CUP OF FLOUR? / T-Rex: Gah! What? What for?
Raccoons and cephalopods:T-REX, YOU - / Raccoons and cephalopods: YOU REALLY DON'T WANT TO KNOW
T-Rex: Man, screw those guys! If these raccoons and cephalopods want to unsettle me, they should know that "you really don't want to know" line was NEVER scary. It's not going to work! They need more than a cliche phrase to scare me, Dromiceiomimus! / Dromiceiomimus: What possible scary use could flour have? / T-Rex: Exactly!
Utahraptor: So if flour isn't scary, then MAYBE - just MAYBE - they were simply short of flour? / T-Rex: Impossible.
T-Rex: Look, I know you want to take their side, Utahraptor, but there's no way those guys were - what, baking me a cake and suddenly ran short of flour? They're planning something. / Utahraptor: If I were you I'd be polite when they show up with a cake! / T-Rex: It's not gonna happen!
Narrator: LATER: / Raccoons and cephalopods: SURPRISE, T-REX! WE BAKED YOU A CAKE, SHAPED LIKE AN UNCANNY VALLEY VERSION OF YOU. / T-Rex: Huh! Um, thanks! / Raccoons and cephalopods: AND INSTEAD OF CAKE ON THE INSIDE, THERE'S REAL ORGANS! / Raccoons and cephalopods: SOME OF THE ORGANS ARE FULL
http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1598
cakes that are just cake on the inside: so 2009; holy crap dudes we are almost living in 2010!!
Raccoons and cephalopods: HI NEIGHBOUR! CAN WE BORROW A CUP OF FLOUR? / T-Rex: Gah! What? What for?
Raccoons and cephalopods:T-REX, YOU - / Raccoons and cephalopods: YOU REALLY DON'T WANT TO KNOW
T-Rex: Man, screw those guys! If these raccoons and cephalopods want to unsettle me, they should know that "you really don't want to know" line was NEVER scary. It's not going to work! They need more than a cliche phrase to scare me, Dromiceiomimus! / Dromiceiomimus: What possible scary use could flour have? / T-Rex: Exactly!
Utahraptor: So if flour isn't scary, then MAYBE - just MAYBE - they were simply short of flour? / T-Rex: Impossible.
T-Rex: Look, I know you want to take their side, Utahraptor, but there's no way those guys were - what, baking me a cake and suddenly ran short of flour? They're planning something. / Utahraptor: If I were you I'd be polite when they show up with a cake! / T-Rex: It's not gonna happen!
Narrator: LATER: / Raccoons and cephalopods: SURPRISE, T-REX! WE BAKED YOU A CAKE, SHAPED LIKE AN UNCANNY VALLEY VERSION OF YOU. / T-Rex: Huh! Um, thanks! / Raccoons and cephalopods: AND INSTEAD OF CAKE ON THE INSIDE, THERE'S REAL ORGANS! / Raccoons and cephalopods: SOME OF THE ORGANS ARE FULL
http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1598
T-Rex: So the good news is that the raccoons and cephalopods aren't hanging around my house anymore!
T-Rex: The BAD news is that they've moved in together next door!
Dromiceiomimus: Really! Wow, that's quite a development! / T-Rex: Yeah, quite a sinister development! The two animals I find the freakiest develop the ability to talk and move in next door? I do not need to know animals with these abilities!
Utahraptor: Hey, do you think these recent events in your life could be an allegory for racism?
T-Rex: Not really! It's not racist to like some animals and not others. Besides, I'm not irrationally against raccoons and cephalopods: they've threatened me! They wait menacingly outside my house for me to come home! / Utahraptor: And "some of your best friends are raccoons and cephalopods", right?
Narrator: THAT NIGHT: / T-Rex: Cephalopod and raccoon neighbours, I respect your unique worldview! / Raccoons and cephalopods: YOU ALWAYS HAVE SUCH NICE THINGS TO SAY, T-REX. / Raccoons and cephalopods: COME CLOSER, T-REX / Raccoons and cephalopods: GIVE US A KISS
http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=494
T-Rex: Ah yes, a new move, a new house! A new beginning, another chance to - / Raccoons/Cephalopods: HELLO NEIGHBOUR!
Raccoons/Cephalopods: WE MOVED TOO BECAUSE / Raccoons/Cephalopods: WE MISSED YOUR SCENT
Narrator: LATER: / T-Rex: Well, I'm not sure what I was expecting. Oh wait, yes I do! I WAS EXPECTING TO LEAVE MY INCREDIBLY CREEPY RACOONO-CEPHALOPOD NEIGHBOURS BEHIND. They followed me, Dromiceiomimus! THEY moved to the place next to MY new place! / Dromiceiomimus: Aww! That's adorable!
T-Rex: IT'S NOT ADORABLE. / Utahraptor: It's kinda adorable!
T-Rex: You know what's adorable? PUPPIES. Not nimble-handed scavengers who EAT LIFE, not multi-armed sea-dwelling cannibals bringing their intellects, vast and cool and unsympathetic, wholly and singularly to bear on the problem of CREEPING ME THE HECK OUT. / Utahraptor: I like 'em.
Narrator: LATER: / Raccoons/Cephalopods: WELCOME TO THE NEIGHBOURHOOD, T-REX! WE BROUGHT YOU SOME PUDDING / T-Rex: What - what kind of pudding? / Raccoons/Cephalopods: IT'S SORT OF LIKE BLOOD PUDDING BUT ON TOP OF THE BLOOD WE ADDED - / Raccoons/Cephalopods: - WELL, YOU'LL SEE
http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1704
nothing you can say will scare me!
T-Rex: So! Life proceeds, despite the fact that I've got the freakiest neighbors ever. Who wants to live next door to sinister raccoons and cephalopods?
T-Rex: Not me!
T-Rex: The ONLY advantage I can think of is that it'll be cool on Hallowe'en. That's it! And that's not even much of an advantage, actually! Not even!
Utahraptor: T-Rex, did you ever think that maybe they're just as scared of you as you are of them? / T-Rex: Hah!
Utahraptor: Seriously! You could be quite imposing to someone who doesn't know you! / T-Rex: Man, these animals are WITHOUT FEAR. I don't see how acting like I'm not afraid will help things!
Narrator: THAT NIGHT: / Raccoons/Cephalopods: ARE YOU AFRIAD OF US, NEIGHBOR? / T-Rex: No way dudes! Nothing you can say will scare me! / Raccoons/Cephalopods: COME BLEED WITH US. COME BLEED WITH US, T-REX.
http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=500
Narrator: DINOSAUR COMICS ASKS: HOW IS TODAY SPECIAL FOR YOU? / T-Rex: Today is special because today is the day I show everyone how manly I am. Today is the day I punch out the friggin' sun!!
God: TODAY IS SPECIAL BECAUSE NO WAY COULD T-REX EVER PUNCH OUT THE SUN / T-Rex: Aw nuts!
Dromiceiomimus: Today is special because today I'm going to be a lady with poise and grace, who excels at her job and does all that she can to make the world a better place! / T-Rex: Not bad! / Dromiceiomimus: I know, right?
Utahraptor: Today is special because we're all healthy and happy! / T-Rex: Um, hello, BORING
Devil: TODAY IS SPECIAL BECAUSE TODAY IS THE DAY I ACHIEVE 10 BILLION POINTS IN THE ARCADE VERSION OF "NIBBLER" WHICH YOU WILL NOTE IS A FULL ORDER OF MAGNITUDE HIGHER THAN WHAT HAS BEEN ACHIEVED BEFORE / Devil: IT WILL BE / Devil: I ASSURE YOU / Devil: A TRULY STAGGERING ACHIEVEMENT
Raccoons/Cephalopods: TODAY IS EXTREMELY SPECIAL, T-REX. TODAY IS THE DAY WE REDEFINE THE UNCANNY VALLEY SO THAT IT CAN ALSO BE APPLIED TO SEX! / T-Rex: I'm - I'm not sure I understand? / Raccoons/Cephalopods: T-REX / Raccoons/Cephalopods: YOU WILL
http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1462
come on. dromiceiomimus was most likely already late to the dentist to begin with.
Narrator: TRYING TO DISCOVER AN ESSENTIAL TRUTH: / T-Rex: I have had a revelation! I am wasting my time trying to discover one ultimate essential truth, when really I should be looking for essential truths, plural!
Narrator: T-REX THE DINOSAUR IN: ESSENTIAL TRUTHS, PLURAL
T-Rex: What's true for you might not be true for me, Dromiceiomimus! Indeed, what's true for me today might not be what's true for me a month from now. I accept that there are many ways of living and that all that needs to be discovered is what is right for me, as an individual! / Dromiceiomimus: Okay! Now I'm late for the dentist!
Utahraptor: Are you serious about this, T-Rex? / T-Rex: Somewhat to moderately!
Utahraptor: Well, there are many ways of living, but those are lifestyle choices, not truths! All you're really doing is applying the label of truth to circumstances, desires and trends. The truths you're looking for are more universal, aren't they? / T-rex: Well! SO MUCH FOR THAT LITTLE SHORTCUT.
Narrator: LATER, STILL TRYING TO DISCOVER ESSENTIAL TRUTHS: / T-Rex: Maybe it's universally true that everyone likes... to party? / Cephalopods: WE DON'T LIKE TO PARTY T-REX / T-Rex: Good God! What are you cephalopods doing in my bedroom?? / Cephalopods: CHILLAXING
http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=788
Raccoon and Cephalopod neighbors: T-REX, HAVE YOU EVER TASTED YOUR OWN BODY? / T-Rex: No I have not PLEASE don't tell me what it's like, PLEASE. / Raccoon and Cephalopod neighbors: IT'S PRETTY NEAT!
Raccoon and Cephalopod neighbors: IT'S LIKE LICKING A MIRROR
T-Rex: ...and THAT'S the reason why I came over here! My neighbors are hella unsettling! / Dromiceiomimus: But you have tasted your own body! I'm sure you've licked your fingers before. / T-Rex: Okay YEAH but I'm pretty sure they meant tasting the INSIDE. / Dromiceiomimus: You're tasting your own saliva right now! That's your body! / T-Rex: That's not what they meant!
Utahraptor: How do you know? Maybe they weren't talking about self-cannibalism, and just wanted to know if you liked your own saliva! / T-Rex: Argh!
T-Rex: OKAY. MAYBE THEY DID. But that's still freaky! They're freaky animals and you should admit it. / Utahraptor: I won't! / God: I WILL T-REX / God: THOSE ANIMALS FREAK ME RIGHT THE HECK OUT
God: THE SCARY PART IS THAT I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THEIR CREATION / T-Rex: What?! / God: YEAH THEY JUST SHOWED UP ONE DAY / God: STARING
http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=988
Raccoon and Cephalopod neighbors: T-REX, HAVE YOU EVER TASTED YOUR OWN BODY? / T-Rex: No I have not PLEASE don't tell me what it's like, PLEASE. / Raccoon and Cephalopod neighbors: IT'S PRETTY NEAT!
Raccoon and Cephalopod neighbors: IT'S LIKE LICKING A MIRROR
T-Rex: ...and THAT'S the reason why I came over here! My neighbors are hella unsettling! / Dromiceiomimus: But you have tasted your own body! I'm sure you've licked your fingers before. / T-Rex: Okay YEAH but I'm pretty sure they meant tasting the INSIDE. / Dromiceiomimus: You're tasting your own saliva right now! That's your body! / T-Rex: That's not what they meant!
Utahraptor: How do you know? Maybe they weren't talking about self-cannibalism, and just wanted to know if you liked your own saliva! / T-Rex: Argh!
T-Rex: OKAY. MAYBE THEY DID. But that's still freaky! They're freaky animals and you should admit it. / Utahraptor: I won't! / God: I WILL T-REX / God: THOSE ANIMALS FREAK ME RIGHT THE HECK OUT
God: THE SCARY PART IS THAT I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THEIR CREATION / T-Rex: What?! / God: YEAH THEY JUST SHOWED UP ONE DAY / God: STARING
http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=988
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