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Here's the highest-rated result from Michael's Exciting Life (you can search just this comic):
Depression: All in the Mind? Discuss.
Hootie: Thanks for coming to see me Michael, I'm feeling SOOO depressed at the moment. Can you cheer me up please? / Michael: I sure can, Hootie! I've got just the thing to get you happy again. It's this magical shark ring! It gives the wearer an instant feeling of perfect calm and satisfaction. It's basically like ecstacy, but made out of magic instead of drugs so it's not evil. (Although it's worse for you and gives you a worse come down.) / Hootie: Hey, thanks Michael! I feel better already!
AND SO, LATER...
Benjamin: Wow! Check the shit out of your ring! / Sam: That is super awesome! / Benjamin: That's so generous of you Michael! To give a man such an amazing magical ring. I didn't know you were so lovely! / Michael: The secret is it's not magic at all, it's crap! I found it in a bin and made it all up! Ha ha!
Sam: For serious, your ring is sooo cool. Wanna come to my party? Here, borrow my car keys! / Anna Panda Panda: Yeah I love you now! Let's smooch? / Michael: Grr.. wait a minute... GIMME THAT RING BACK YOU BASTARD! I'M STARTING TO FEEL DEPRESSED!
http://michaelsexcitinglife.co.uk/index.php?date=2008-01-15
Here's the highest-rated result from ETI-PI (you can search just this comic):
ETI-PI - Friday, January 30, 2009
RON What the… Are we moving?
RON Professor, what’s going on? / CARL We’re on our way to the Buck’s County UFO Convention.
CARL Pennsylvania is becoming a huge UFO hotspot and the convention is a great way to network and get our name out there.
RON And how long have we been planning this? / CARL Planning?
http://eti-pi.com/d/20090130.html
Here's the highest-rated result from Orcaskine (you can search just this comic):
Orca: So I inadvertantly banned rap music.
Orca: The black side of me is outraged at the criminalization of this large part of its culture...
Orca: ...While the white side is, honestly, relieved, yet ashamed of its latent racism.
Orca: CONFLICTED!
http://apizzadudes.com/orcaskine/os4-true-confessions-of-an-orca
Here's the highest-rated result from The Last Days of FOXHOUND (you can search just this comic):
Octopus: I don't know about you, but I could really use a break right now. / Simonovich: Zis sounds like a good idea to me.
Octopus: Okay, folks, let's break for an hour and come back to finish this up.
Ocelot: This seems like an opportune moment to discuss the other part of the arrangement.
Gurlukovich: Were it up to me, dog, the only thing to arrange would be your date with a firing squad. Sadly it's not up to me, so let's find some place out of sight.
Ocelot: I think this is private enough. Now, let's have it please.
[[Gurlukovich hands Ocelot a disk]] / Gurlukovich: Sigh... very well. All of the specifications of the original, Russian Metal Gear.
Ocelot: Superb. The president will be quite pleased. Thank you for cooperating Sergei.
Gurlukovich: If you'll excuse me, I'm going to drown myself in vodka to forget what I've just done. / Ocelot: (Yeah, cry me a big fat Russian river.)
[[The lights go out]] / Ocelot: What the- oh, for fuck's sake, Sergei. There's no need to be childish. Turn the lights back on! Sergei? Buddy? Come on, this isn't funny... I really hope that's you paralyzing me and lifting me off the ground...
Mantis: Oh, don't be a dolt.
http://gigaville.com/comic.php?id=98
Here's the highest-rated result from Esper (you can search just this comic):
[[Zoey staring blankly in a field at night while holding a Molotov cocktail]] / Louis: Okay, we're almost to the safe house. Zoey, do you still have that Molotov Cocktail? / Louis: ...Zoey?
Louis: Aw, hell - more Zombies! / Louis: OPEN FIRE! / <<BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM>>
<<SCREEECH!>> / <<Thump>> / Louis: OHMYGOD OHMYGOD / <<crack>> / Louis: AAAAGH MY ARM
[[Zoey perks up and her name now reads "Zoey (Now idle)]] / <<Rip, rip, rip>> / Zombies: OM NOM NOM / Zoey: Wha-HOLYSHITLOUIS! / <<Rip>> / <<Crack>> / <<SCREECH!>> / Narrator: Tip: Idling is only helpful if you don't wait for the timer. / {{...but molotov cocktails are FOREVER.}}
http://www.espercomic.net/view.php?date=2009-07-16
Here's the highest-rated result from TrueNuff Comic (you can search just this comic):
[[at the Pub]]
Waitress: Hey, wait a minute...
Waitress: You guys can't fool me! / Brando: What? / Trey: Fool you?
Waitress: Chicken wings don't make a bunch of no-flying chickens! / Brando: Oh yeah?
Waitress: Chickens can't fly whether they have wings or not!
http://www.truenuffcomic.com/comic.php?day=20110410
Here's the highest-rated result from The Sordid Affairs (you can search just this comic):
Blueberry: What else to do today? Already re-recorded my answering machine message. My last one sounded so whiney and needy. "Hi! This is Blue, Private Investigator! If you've reached this message, I must've stumbled trying to pick up the phone because I always pick it up-"
Banana: Hello? / Blueberry: A client? A female client? A dame!
Banana: My lover was murdered! / Blueberry: Stay cool, Blue.
Blueberry: When'd you discover that your husband was dead? / Banana: Oh no... Not my husband. The cereal I'd been cheating on my husband with.
Blueberry: I could tell she was easy to peel. Had probably topped a lot of cereals in her day.
Blueberry: What's his name, Miss?
Banana: My husband? / Blueberry: No. The side breakfast.
Banana: Berry Krispies.
Blueberry: So, if what you've told me is right... He's berry, berry dead! I will see what I can do...
http://thesordidaffairs.net/index.php?date=2006-05-04
Here's the highest-rated result from The Secret Crocodile Adventure Club (you can search just this comic):
Brother Steve took a break from drawing KICKASS ROBOTS to draw a KICKASS CROCODILE! He even colored it!
Looking at poor Croc Icarus' wings I can't help but wonder how awesome it would be to die in a rain of hot wax...
Brother Asimo was asked to calculate how awesome that would be. On a scale of 1 to 10 hyper ass kicks it's, "disk read error98001: respect the emporer, expel the foreign barbarians." It's that cool.
http://sub.crocodileadventureclub.net/guest/crocs/contest/2.stevesubrizi/02.html
Here's the highest-rated result from The Weirdo(s)! (you can search just this comic):
1: ...
2: [Sign]: You are leaving Gondor. / 2: [Other sign]: Toll
3: [Sauron]: Aw, where is my diplomat passport again? / 3: [Machine text]: Cash
4: [Sauron]: Guess I have to pay then... / 4: [Machine text]: Cash
5: [Sauron]: Aaaah, beautiful Mordor...
6: [Sauron]: It is here I love picking flowers!
http://weirdo-comic.net/?date=20060923
Here's the highest-rated result from Biff (you can search just this comic):
The Book of Biff Webcomic #465 - Dander
Pet hair can be easily removed from any upholstered surface.
http://thebookofbiff.com/2008/03/17/465-dander/
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