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• sexy celebrity cartoonist week - joey comeau!

  T-Rex: Did you know you can find instructions for making a bomb on the interweb?
  T-Rex: I didn't have any plutonium though,
  T-Rex: so I filled it with pictures from when we were kids!
  

  http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=158

• i kinda disagree with t-rex here, but sometimes, man, he just don't listen

  God: IT'S TIME FOR ROMANCE TIPS WITH T-REX / T-Rex: Yes! Today is the day for some tips on how to convince yourself that no matter what you'll never find anyone bett-
  T-Rex: Okay! Today is the day for some tips on being romantic!
  T-Rex: Flowers are nice, for all sexes and genders! They're pretty and also - smell pretty? Also! It can be romantic to tell someone you love them. Also, um. / T-Rex: Okay, so here's the thing. Probably there is someone out there who's better suited with you. The odds of you both having found the ONE person who's absolutely best for you, no matter what system you use to rank "bestness", are pretty small.
  T-Rex: But! / Utahraptor: But? / T-Rex: BUT.
  T-Rex: Let's say you're happy with person A (95% perfect) and you meet person B who is 99% perfect. It doesn't make sense to leave person A for B if you've been with them for years! You lose out on all your shared history, and that's like a times two multiplier! / Utahraptor: Romance? / T-Rex: Romance with a times two multiplier!
  God: OKAY SO / God: ROMANCE TIPS WITH T-REX WAS A TERRIBLE IDEA / T-Rex: ...Righty-o
  

  http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1577

• sexy celebrity cartoonist week - joseph kovell!

  T-Rex: Today is a good day, I think, for a guest comic.
  T-Rex: I'm in a comic!?
  T-Rex: It appears that by informing me of my current existence within a medium of entertainment, the guest comic author has already broken the so-called "fourth wall". / Dromiceiomimus: Why should that matter? Your existence now is in no way different than it was before. / T-Rex: but as a character in a comic, I am required to be a source of entertainment. This is a demand that I have up to now been unaware of. Thus I must provide the reader with some semblance of comedic banter... perhaps a pun using the phrase "breaking the fourth wall" and my current action of crushing many walls. / Dromiceiomimus: I believe that particular point would have been better off remaining a subtle irony.
  T-Rex: Since I do not have a joke readily available, I will just have to resort to entertainment through violence. / Utahraptor: But you don't NEED to come up with a joke or rely on entertaining violence!
  T-Rex: How so? / Utahraptor: As a character in a comic, you have no true free will of your own. Nor do you think at all! It is the author that will com up with the joke. / T-Rex: But what if he forgets to come up with a funny punchline? If I have no free will, does that mean that I will be forced to just take up space in the last caption and say nothing at all? / Utahraptor: If the author is a lazy bum, yes.
  T-Rex: I don't see a punchline! / Narrator: Just say "who the hell goes to Cornwall" / T-Rex: Seriously, who does that? / Narrator: I know! Seriously!
  

  http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=157

• "hey guys so look i had some extra money" - a classic "2 h" tattoo that invites sexual scrutiny while reminding us that there are limits that constrain us

  God: HEY T-REX YOU KINDA SHOULDN'T TEASE PEOPLE WITH TATTOOS / T-Rex: Huh?
  T-Rex: Why not?!
  God: WELL IN SOME CULTURES TATTOOS ARE REALLY SIGNIFICANT AND MEAN MORE THAN JUST "HEY GUYS SO LOOK I HAD SOME EXTRA MONEY" / God: I GOT A TATTOO YOU KNOW / T-Rex: You do? / God: YEAH IT'S PRETTY GREAT IT'S A PICTURE OF A HORSE AND UNDERNEATH ARE THE WORDS "NATURE'S DOMINOES"
  T-Rex: What the hell?! That was my idea! / Utahraptor: What was your idea?
  T-Rex: The idea that horses are nature's dominoes! I had that idea like 5 years ago! GOD TOTALLY STOLE MY IDEA AND GOT IT AS A TATTOO. / Utahraptor: God can get tattoos? / T-Rex: Um, according to some religions, GOD CAN DO ANYTHING??
  T-Rex: Not mine though! In MY religion, God now has to pay me royalties every time anyone sees his tattoo! / God: T-REX IN MY RELIGION YOU HAVE TO STOP COMPLAINING SO MUCH / God: LET ME TELL YOU ALL JOKING ASIDE / God: IT'S THE BEST RELIGION
  

  http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1569

• paleontologists unearthing this comic today, amazed that dinosaurs could write comics about themselves, in english, so less, finally also amazed that they enjoyed such similar tv programmes

  T-Rex: Today is the day, my friends! Yes! FINALLY. Today is the day!
  T-Rex: Today is the day we mess with people who have tattoos!
  T-Rex: Dromiceiomimus, did you hear that if you have a bird tattoo, it means that you're big into hugs? Giving, receiving, watching, it's all good to you! / Dromiceiomimus: Really! Why the bird? / T-Rex: It stands for "I will flip the bird RIGHT NOW to anyone who doesn't like hugs; I'm not even joking." / Dromiceiomimus: Interesting! And also true!
  Utahraptor: I heard that tattoos with the letter "h" in them... / T-Rex: ...Yes?
  Utahraptor: Well, I heard that an "h" in any tattoo is short for "Hey, Ask Me About My Sexual History", and a second "h" on the body is short for "Hey, Some Of It Is Personal Though, Okay?" / T-Rex: And a third "h"? / Utahraptor: "Hooray for the Huxtables."
  Narrator: NOTE FOR FUTURE PEOPLE WHO COME ACROSS THIS COMIC: / T-Rex: The Huxtables were a family on a TV show. TV is what we had before we got video in our brains! And everyone who read this comic when it first came out was really great, even if we're all dead now. / T-Rex: ...What's the future like?
  

  http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1568

• utahraptor's hoping maybe t-rex got one of the old standby messages people say they get from god: "your religion is definitely the right one", "you personally are super special", "hey, maybe you should be out murderin' people right now", that sort of thin

  GOD: T-REX GUESS WHAT YOU HAVE TO FILL IN FOR A TEN YEAR OLD GIRL TODAY / T-REX: Hah!
  T-REX: ...What?
  GOD: ONLY FOR A FEW HOURS THOUGH OKAY / T-REX: I don't understand! / GOD: WHAT IS NOT TO UNDERSTAND ABOUT THIS YOU'LL BE FILLING IN FOR A TEN YEAR OLD GIRL SO I NEED YOU TO TALK TO HER FRIENDS ABOUT TEN YEAR OLD GIRL STUFF LIKE I DON'T KNOW PONIES / GOD: WAS THAT SEXIST / GOD: LISTEN I DIDN'T MEAN FOR THAT TO BE SEXIST
  T-REX: So - I guess I'm a 10 year old girl now? / UTAHRAPTOR: What?
  T-REX: Listen, man: I don't know. God told me I would be filling in for a ten year old girl today, so here I am. / UTAHRAPTOR: You're sure he didn't tell you, I don't know, that you're special? To be excellent to others? / T-REX: Nope! He said "DUDE FILL IN FOR A TEN YEAR OLD GIRL"
  GOD: T-REX I SAID "FILL IN FOR A TEN YEAR OLD SQUIRREL" / T-REX: You didn't! Whatever; I heard you clearly. / GOD: OKAY BUY NOW I'M SAYING FILL IN FOR A TEN YEAR OLD SQUIRREL. / GOD: IT WILL BE HILARIOUS / GOD: OH MAN / GOD: PROVABLY HILARIOUS
  

  http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1565

• utahraptor's hoping maybe t-rex got one of the old standby messages people say they get from god: "your religion is definitely the right one", "you personally are super special", "hey, maybe you should be out murderin' people right now", that sort of thin

  GOD: T-REX GUESS WHAT YOU HAVE TO FILL IN FOR A TEN YEAR OLD GIRL TODAY / T-REX: Hah!
  T-REX: ...What?
  GOD: ONLY FOR A FEW HOURS THOUGH OKAY / T-REX: I don't understand! / GOD: WHAT IS NOT TO UNDERSTAND ABOUT THIS YOU'LL BE FILLING IN FOR A TEN YEAR OLD GIRL SO I NEED YOU TO TALK TO HER FRIENDS ABOUT TEN YEAR OLD GIRL STUFF LIKE I DON'T KNOW PONIES / GOD: WAS THAT SEXIST / GOD: LISTEN I DIDN'T MEAN FOR THAT TO BE SEXIST
  T-REX: So - I guess I'm a 10 year old girl now? / UTAHRAPTOR: What?
  T-REX: Listen, man: I don't know. God told me I would be filling in for a ten year old girl today, so here I am. / UTAHRAPTOR: You're sure he didn't tell you, I don't know, that you're special? To be excellent to others? / T-REX: Nope! He said "DUDE FILL IN FOR A TEN YEAR OLD GIRL"
  GOD: T-REX I SAID "FILL IN FOR A TEN YEAR OLD SQUIRREL" / T-REX: You didn't! Whatever; I heard you clearly. / GOD: OKAY BUY NOW I'M SAYING FILL IN FOR A TEN YEAR OLD SQUIRREL. / GOD: IT WILL BE HILARIOUS / GOD: OH MAN / GOD: PROVABLY HILARIOUS
  

  http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1565

• sexy celebrity cartoonist week - steve carey!

  Narrator: Dinosaur Comics Presents: Fun-Pun Corner! Today: Fun-Puns with t-Rex's Fave Activity! By Steve Carey
  Utahraptor: Hey T-Rex, why won't you lend me $20? / T-Rex: Because I have to put my foot down!
  Utahraptor: Hey T-Rex, why are you putting in all these long hours? / T-Rex: I'm just trying to get a leg up!
  Dromiceiomimus: Hey T-Rex, why are you dressed up so fancy? / T-Rex: I'm stepping out!
  Utahraptor: Hey T-Rex, what's your favourite percussion-based theatrical experience? / T-Rex: The Blue Man Group!
  T-Rex: What?! I really do like it! It makes me so happy!
  

  http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=156

• it is built-in protection against sexiness inflation, a strong statement against the growing trend of elevens on tens.

  T-Rex: Man, Dromiceiomimus has been looking fantastic lately! I would DEFINITELY rate her current attractiveness as AT LEAST a nine point five on ten!!
  T-Rex: I-
  [[T-Rex and Dromiceiomimus look at each other awkwardly]]
  Utahraptor: Hah! This is what you get for thinking out loud, my friend! / T-Rex: Man!
  T-Rex: I should've went with it when I saw her; stopping in mid-sentence just admits guilt. I should've said, "That's right, Dromiceiomimus! YOU HAVE BEEN LOOKING GREAT LATELY." / Utahraptor: Except you didn't rate her a perfect ten. / T-Rex: Only because I always reserve point five for emergencies!!
  Narrator: A HYPOTHETICAL EXAMPLE OF AN EMERGENCY: / T-Rex: Dromiceiomimus, you're a perfect 9.5 on 10! / Dromiceiomimus: But what if I... dressed up like a flapper, and said "Here's the news?" / T-Rex: That's a perfect ten and luckily I reserved some extra points for this scenario, listen I gotta go lie down.
  

  http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1551

• it is built-in protection against sexiness inflation, a strong statement against the growing trend of elevens on tens.

  T-Rex: Man, Dromiceiomimus has been looking fantastic lately! I would DEFINITELY rate her current attractiveness as AT LEAST a nine point five on ten!!
  T-Rex: I-
  [[T-Rex and Dromiceiomimus look at each other awkwardly]]
  Utahraptor: Hah! This is what you get for thinking out loud, my friend! / T-Rex: Man!
  T-Rex: I should've went with it when I saw her; stopping in mid-sentence just admits guilt. I should've said, "That's right, Dromiceiomimus! YOU HAVE BEEN LOOKING GREAT LATELY." / Utahraptor: Except you didn't rate her a perfect ten. / T-Rex: Only because I always reserve point five for emergencies!!
  Narrator: A HYPOTHETICAL EXAMPLE OF AN EMERGENCY: / T-Rex: Dromiceiomimus, you're a perfect 9.5 on 10! / Dromiceiomimus: But what if I... dressed up like a flapper, and said "Here's the news?" / T-Rex: That's a perfect ten and luckily I reserved some extra points for this scenario, listen I gotta go lie down.
  

  http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1551

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