Showing 1 - 10 of 35 results. |
[[Biggles onstage]] / Biggles: If you take your teeth out at night, but you don't wear dentures... You Might Be A Zombie. / Biggles: If the neighbors have you over for dinner, but you end up eating them... You Might Be A Zombie. / <<Haha! Hahaha! Haha! Hahaha! Hahaha! Haha! Haha! Hahaha! Hurrhurr!>>
Biggles: If you go to the hardware store because you think that's where you can buy a brain drain... You Might Be A Zombie. / Biggles: If your girlfriend is feeling frisky but all you want to do is eat her brains out... You Might Be A Zombie. / <<Haha! Hahaha! Haha! Hahaha! Hahaha! Haha! Haha! Hahaha! Hurrhurr!>>
Biggles: If you think the Undead are an eminent manifestation of Nietzsche's ideal ?bermench.... You Might Be A Zombie. / <<Huh?>>
Biggles: Um, if your idea of philosophy is, "Life sucks, and then you die. And then you rise from the dead and feed on the flesh of the living"... You Might Be A Zombie! / <<Haha! Hahaha! Haha! Hahaha! Hahaha! Haha! Haha! Hahaha! Hurrhurr! Yeah!>>
http://askdreldritch.com/comic636.html
{{comic title= #300 - Generation Zombie }} / {{comic number= #300 }}
[[Kari sits on a bench. Unknown woman next to her has a guitar.]] / ZombiedressedGuy: <i>BRAIIINS!</i> / ZombiedressedGirl: <i>HEE!</i> BRAINS! / Kari Proctor: <i>AAAUGH! ZOMBIES!</i>
[[Kari hits ZombieGuy with guitar]] / << *WHAP* >> / ZombiedressedGuy: OW! OW!! / << *WHAP!* >> / ZombiedressedGirl: <i>STOP HITTING HIM!</i> / ZombiedressedGuy: <i>WHAT</i> the <i>HELL</i>, Lady?
Kari: Hey, you're not a real zombie! / ZombiedressedGuy: Of course not! / Kari: Wow! I'm... I'm... very disappointed! / ZombiedressedGuy: Huh?
[[Kari hands back the guitar and leaves]] / Kari: Thank you! That really helped! / ZombiedressedGuy: Old People are insane! / ZombiedressedGirl: There, there! Will some zombie lovin' make it better? / ZombiedressedGuy: It's worth a try.
/ {{ I know Young People like to dress up as Zombies When it's not Halloween, but can see there's some risk involved}}
{{Appearances of regular staff:}} {{Kari}}
http://askdreldritch.com/comic300.html
{{Comic 477}} {{Halloween 2008}}
[[Brad and three other customer service reps are in the break room, drinking Tab]]
Brad: Zombie. / CSRZ 1: Zombie / CSRZ 2: Zombie. / CSRZ 3: ...ommieee...
Brad: This is lame! We're <i>ALWAYS</i> the same thing for Halloween! / CSRZ2: But I've already got the costume.
Brad: Is this what we want our afterlives to be? Endless repetition of the same boring routine? Not for me! This year I'm going to do something <i>DIFFERENT</i>! / CSRZ 1: Yeah! Me too! / CSRZ 2: All right! / CSRZ 3: YAAW!
[[a halloween party]] / Brad: You couldn't think of anything, either? / CSRZ 1: It was this or "Fairy Princess." / CSRZ 2: No, I'm a Zombie <i>PIRATE</i>! / CSRZ 3: UHH HUHH. / CSRZ 2: Check it out! Braaainnnsss...<i>ARRRR</i>!
{{Not everyone you meet tonight is wearing a costume, if you know what I mean.}} / {{Appearances:}} {{Brad}} {{Customer Service Representative Zombie 1}} {{CSRZ 2}} {{CSRZ 3}} {{Hapless partygoers}}
http://askdreldritch.com/comic477.html
Dr. Eldritch: Everyone ready? / <<UUUUUUURRRR!!>> / <<BRAAAAAINSSS!>> / Kari: I've got a bad feeling... / {{Drink!}} / Trevor: Let's go! Let's go! / <<UUUUUUURRRR!!>> / <<GRAAAAAINSSS!>> / <<BRAAAAAINSSS!>> / Val: Just stay close to me and try to keep up. / <<BRAAAAAINSSS!>>
{{One Skirmish Against the Undead Later...}}
Dr. Eldritch: Nobody got bitten, did they? / Kari: Wow! Can we do that again!?!! / Val: A shower! My kingdom for a shower!
Kari: Wait, where's Trevor? / Dr. Eldritch: He's...tidying up. / Kari: I really don't want to know, do I? / Dr. Eldritch: Let's just say that he doesn't like things going to waste.
{{Can you tell that one of the zombies is a Vegan?}}
http://askdreldritch.com/comic118.html
Dr. Eldritch: Here, swing for the head or neck. And don't hit any of us. / <<BRAAAAAINSSS!>> / Kari: What!!? I never... I couldn't... / <<BRAAAAAINSSS!>>
Dr. Eldritch: Sure you can. Being undead is no fun, so deanimating them is actually doing them a favor. / <<UUUUURRRRRR!>> / <<BRAAAAAINSSS!>> / Kari: But I don't like hurting anyone.
<<BRAAAAAINSSS!>> / Dr. Eldritch: Just imagine that they're talking on cell phones in a movie theater, or smoking in a public building.
<<UUUUURRRRRR!>> / Kari: Ooh, he looks like he NEVER used his turn signal! / Dr. Eldritch: That's the spirit! / <<BRAAAAAINSSS!>>
http://askdreldritch.com/comic116.html
{{Comic 634}} {{Open Mic Night}}
[[Zombies onstage with microphone. Sign behind him reads ZomCom Club]] / Brad: What did the Constipated Zombie want? / Brad: BRAAAANNNS! / Brad: What did the Dyslexic Zombie want? / Brad: BRIANS! / <<Haha! Hahaha! Haha! Hahaha! Hahaha! Haha! Haha! Hahaha! Hurrhurr!>>
[[Gordon and Adrian]] / Gordon: Good evening! You're our favorite kind of audience: Pre-killed! / Gordon: So Adrian, why did the Zombie only eat Fox News viewers? / Adrian: Ahh oonnnoo, aaii? / Gordon: He liked his brains WASHED! / <<Hahaha! Haha! Haha! Yeah! Haha! Hahaha! Haha! Hahaha! Hahaha!>>
[[Brad]] / Brad: A zombie walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says "Hey, where'd you get that?" And the parrot says, "Down at the graveyard. There's tons of them there." / <<Haha! Hahaha! Haha! Hahaha! Haha! Haha! Hurrhurr! Hahaha! Haha! Hahaha!>>
[[Biggles]] / Biggles: Two zombies are stuck on a desert island. On the morning of the seventh day, one zombie is saying, "Megan Fox. Rachel Nichols. Sienna Miller. Claire Danes. Kristen Bell..." and the other zombie jumps up and says "Stop it! We've been here a week, and all you've done is talk about food!"
{{These two zombies are eating a mime, and he tastes funny...no wait... they're eating a CLOWN...}} / {{Appearances:}} {{Brad}} {{Gordon}} {{Adrian}} {{Biggles}}
http://askdreldritch.com/comic634.html
{{Comic 568}} {{MBWA}}
[[Brad and the other zombie CSRs of Zorbletech are in their lunchroom with Brent]] / Brent: ...so, those are some of the things you all are doing wrong. But remember, you are the company's most valuable asset! Now, you still have two and a half minutes left on your break, so enjoy!
Brad: What a prick. Someday, I'm totally going to eat his brains. / Biggles: Heh! Get in line! / Skeletal Zombie CSR: Hey, we should have a contest! / Adrian: Yaaaaaah!
Brad: That's a great idea! Winner gets to eat Brent! / Biggles: Indeed! How about a charity raffle? / Skeletal: To benefit kittens! / Brad, Biggles, and Adrian: AWWW!
Zombie CSRS (off-panel): HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! / Brent (thinking): They're all in a great mood! My motivational speeches rock!
{{Well they were inspired}} / {{Appearances:}} {{Brad}} {{Brent}} {{Biggles}} {{Skeletal Zombie Zorbletech Customer Service Representative}} {{Adrian}}
http://askdreldritch.com/comic568.html
{{Comic 616}} {{Details}}
[[Brad, Biggles, Gordon and Adrian take a break in the lunchroom. Two unknown employees walk past.]] / Brad: So this zombie walks into a bar and orders a Manhattan. As the bartender's pouring it, he says, "You know, there's a drink named after you." And the zombie says "Really? There's a drink called Robert?" / Biggles, Zombie and Adrian: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
[[exeunt witnesses]] / Biggles: A NOTE in his POCKET? Seriously? / Brad: Sure! / Biggles: Well, what if he leaves it someplace? / Brad: He won't.
Biggles: He could tell someone he's coming back to get his phone! / Gordon: And isn't he going to wonder why you gave him a note, instead of just TELLING him?
[[Enter Brent]] / Brent: Hey, guys! My computer's typing in all loud letters again. Can one of you reset it? / Biggles: Never mind. A note's good. / Zombie: Yeah.
{{That reminds me of a joke where a Pink Squirrel walks into a bar...}} / {{Appearances:}} {{Brad}} {{Biggles}} {{Potential Witnesses}} {{Gordon}} {{Adrian}}
Adrian: Uraghaaahaa oorr aannannn aaayy aaaaiigh! / Brad: No, I don't think we should put "Adrian says 'Hi!'" / Adrian: Awww!
http://askdreldritch.com/comic616.html
{{comic title= That's Weird }} / {{comic number= #231 }}
[[Kitchen. Dr. Eldritch and Kari at table.]] / Kari Proctor: You know what's weird? / Dr. Eldritch: Totally. waking up in the middle of the night, lying there in the dark and realizing that there's SOMETHING with you in the bed.
Dr. Eldritch: You think "Is it a badger, who crawled under the covers seeking warmth, and if disturbed, will attack viciously? Or a HEAD! Is it an angry, decapitated head? Or perhaps something even MORE disturbing, like a ZOMBIE BADGER! Or a head, BITTEN BY A ZOMBIE BADGER!"
Dr. Eldritch: Then you're trying to decide whether it's better to lie still until it goes away, or whether you can leap out of bed fast enough to escape a zombie badger bite, when you remember that you were eating a roast chicken right before you fell asleep, and THAT's what you're feeling next to you.
Kari: Actually, it's weird that I still ask you open-ended questions. / Dr. Eldritch: Yeah. What's up with that?
{{Many people no longer ask me open-ended questions for exactly this very reason.}}
/ {{Appearances:}} {{Kari}} {{Dr. Eldritch}}
http://askdreldritch.com/comic231.html
{{Comic 612}} {{Plans}}
[[Brad, Biggles, Gordon and Adrian sit in Zorbletech lunchroom. Brent walks past]] / Gordon: I?m not looking forward to the holiday traffic, but I?m going back home again. The cousins will be there this year, and both my sisters. We?ll all have turkey, except Aunt Helen, who eats her homemade soy loaf and yeast gravy. / Adrian: Aaauguhh! / Zombie: Oh, yeah. And Adrian's coming with me.
[[exeunt Brent right]] / Brad: Yeah, I?ll be at my dad?s. Fortunately, mom gets along with Susan, his new wife, so she?ll help with the turkey, and bring pie. Man, I?m looking forward to pie! / Biggles: I?ll be at my brother?s place, just him, Heather and their kids this year, but it?s always fun to spend a few hours as Uncle Biggles, and share the feast. / Zombie: Nice!
[[enter Brent, bearing cola]] / Brent: What are you talking about? You all will be locked in the sub-basement, just like every other holiday weekend.
[[exeunt Brent left]] / Brad: I... oh... I SWEAR by all that is Undead, THIS is the year we eat Brent for Thanksgiving! / Biggles: Hear, hear! / Zombie: Totally! / Adrian: Arroo!
{{Didn?t you swear that for Earth Day, too?}} / {{Appearnces:}} {{Brad}} {{Biggles}} {{Gordon}} {{Brent}} {{Adrian}}
http://askdreldritch.com/comic612.html
Showing 1 - 10 of 35 results. |
[ browse the archives of ask dr. eldritch | jump to a random episode | help transcribe | search for [zombie] in other comic series ]
[ want a search engine like this for your own comic? ]