Showing 1 - 4 of 4 results. |
Priest: Thank you for joining us this Easter Sunday. Today we celebrate that he is risen--
Zombie Jesus: That's right, bitches, I am risen! And Zombie Jesus is pissed!
ZJ: You've been eating my flesh and drinking my blood for two millenia, and it's time for some payback! But first... Zombie Jesus GOT to get his groove on! Ooh... uh.. yeah.. shake that ass when you're in mass, THAT'S the word of God!
ZJ: Now behold the glory! Check out the rock hard body of Christ!
http://hellbentcomics.com/comic034.htm
Hellbent #23 - How to Wake a Zombie
Kacey: Phil, you might want to appease Chongo before he fries you. / Phil: Damn, Chongo, from down here, you're a whole freakin' mountain of fugly. I mean it's like roadkill fucked a pile of shit and they put a hat on it.
(Chongo zaps Phil) / Phil: AAARRRGH! / Kacey: You are completely lacking an inner voice, aren't you?
(Phil is sizzling) / Lou: I smell taco meat and beans... beans... BEANS!
(Lou and others pounce on Phil, chewing) / Kacey: Did you fill your pockets with burritos? / Phil: Yes! Bad Choice! BAD CHOICE!
http://hellbentcomics.com/comic023.htm
Hellbent #35 - Today Was a Good Day
Reporter: Here we are at hour eight of Catholic Crisis, where pastor John Smiley threatens to jump from the roof of the very church where he preaches. Is it drugs? Did this deranged priest lace the holy water with acid, inducing a mass hallucination in order to have a sex orgy with all the vulnerable elderly and young children? Probably!
Reporter: Churchgoers report that a quote "Zombie Jesus" broke into the church, flashed the crowd, then reinacted Michael Jackson's Thriller before running off. Police are attempting to talk Father Smiley down now, but-- oh, it appears he's about to say something. Let's have a closer look.
Father Smiley: The son of God spoke to me, and... and he t- t- told me he wants b- b- brains... and b- b- beer! Wine sucketh! Gimme a brew! That... that was the word of God... His w- w- will be done! Am-m-men!
(Lou sitting on couch, watching TV, smirking, his Zombie Jesus gear on couch next to him)
http://hellbentcomics.com/comic035.htm
Kacey: Hey Lou, if you're done molesting your taco, I found the dessert bar. You have your choice of soft serve taco or meat cone... Lou? Hmm, a trail of taco leavings...
Kacey: Lou, are you in here? SWEET HAMMERED JESUS! PREGNANT ZOMBIES!
(Pregnant zombies shuffling towards Kacey)
Worker: No sir, this is the Mexicoma room, for when you've had too much to eat and need to sleep off the tacos. But you can't bring food in here. These guys have lost all reasoning. They will overeat until--
(BOOM! Gutsplosion!)
Worker: Chongo, we need the hose again! / Kacey: Is that a lung?
http://hellbentcomics.com/comic018.htm
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