Showing 1 - 6 of 6 results.
[[Kurt is sitting at the computer, a poster for "Nim's Island" on the wall behind him. Gretchen is approaching the desk with a camera.]] / Gretchen: Kurt, are you busy now? I need to take your photo and interview you for your <I>Examiner</I> bio. / Kurt: Uh... didn't I already <I>have</I> one?
[[Chase is in the background at the ticket counter, looking at Gretchen's ass.]] / Gretchen: I have to do a new one, because you got promoted. / Kurt: Oh. Okay, then.
[[Gretchen and Kurt are walking past the ticket counter, Kurt leading the way.]] / Gretchen: We could just do it right here... ? / Kurt: No, over <I>here.</I> / Chase (to himself): I'll do it right there.
[[Kurt is grinning proudly next to a poster for "Zombie Strippers!", featuring a scantily-clad Jenna Jameson looking sultrily out of the poster. Gretchen looks taken off-guard, or possibly just disgusted.]] / Gretchen: Ah.... Well, of <I>course</I>.
Jason: ...anyway, I would never, under <i>any</i> circumstances direct a zombie... / Unknown woman: Excuse me, is Neil Ortiz here?
Kurt: Oh, he's upstairs giving it to one of the staff kids. / Jason: Yeah, I was just upstairs and could here it from down the hall.
Unknown woman: I'm sorry, what? / Kurt: One of the staff was acting <i>totally queer</i>, and Neil got all riled up and practically chased the kid upstairs to take care of business.
Neil: Just... act... like a <i>normal person</i>. / Chase: This is <i>how I am</i>! / Chase's radio: Hey, Neil? Someone's here to see you.
Kurt's radio: Can it wait a few minutes? Who is it? / Kurt (to the woman): Neil <i>hates</i> to be interrupted when he's reaming someone hard. / Kurt: Who can I say is here?
Woman: Norma Fiorelli. / Norma: I'm your new boss.
[[Angie is clocking out when Jason walks up.]] / Jason: "Ang, are you still up for a movie tonight?" / Angie: "Yep!" / Jason: "<i>Cool</i>. What do you want to see? Please don't say <i>Zombie Strippers</i>..."
[[Angie turns around smiling, Jason frowns.]] / Angie: Kurt and I watched that last night. It was <i>so</i> awesome. / Jason: ...Right.
[[Now Angie frowns while Jason gets defensive.]] / Angie: It was fun! Not every movie needs to be <i>Citizen Kane</i>, you know... / Jason: "I just can't buy into the "<i>so bad</i> it's good" thing..."
[[Angie rolls her eyes at Jason.]] / Jason: "I'd just rather see something that's <i>so good</i> it's good... / Angie: "Well... <i>You</i> missed out.
[[Jason mopes.]] / Angie: "Anyway, I was <i>going</i> to call you to join us, but Kurt says that you're gay, so you wouldn't be into the whole "stripper" thing."
[[Becky walks by in the background, unseen, as Jason is angry and Angie smiles.]] / Jason: <i>Kurt...?!</i>
[[Becky sees them as Jason tries to jump Angie, and Angie is putting her arms up in front of her face, smiling.]] / Jason: <<rrrrrgggh>>
[[A darkened hallway, outside a theater showing "I Am Legend." Distant voices come from inside. A small rectangular object appears to be taped to the wall by the door, barely visible.]] / Melissa (from inside, unseen): Oh, jeez, I just saw something move... / Melissa (from inside, unseen): Kurt, I know you're in here...I Am Legend isn't even a zombie movie!
Melissa (from inside, unseen): They were vampires in the book, and they're just goofy mutants in this! You can attack me when Diary of the Dead comes out and I have clean black pants at home. I've got to open tomorrow. I won't have time to do laundry! / <<SKREE!>>
[[Melissa is backing toward the door, visible through the window.]] / Melissa: This movie's not even that good, guys! / Theater Employee (from inside, unseen): No way, it's awesome! I mean-- / <<SKRREEE!>>
[[Melissa bursts out of the door, pursued by Kurt, who is dressed as a vampire/mutant. Franklin steps forward with a (fake) shotgun, firing. The blood squib explodes on the wall behind kurt and fake blood splatters on the wall. Kurt smashes a blood pack against his stomach as he screams.]] / <<RAARRR!>> / <<BLAM! BLAM>> / Melissa: [[ducking and flinching away]] Aah!
[[Melissa stares at the door, blocked by the "corpse" of the mutant-costumed employee. Other employees costumed as mutants crowd the door,. Franklin cocks the shotgun.]] / <<SKREE!>> / <<SKREE!>> / <<SKREE!>> / <<THUMP THUMP THUMP>> / <<CHAK! CHAK!>> / Franklin (channeling Arnold Schwarzenegger and Will Smith simultaneously): Come with me if you want to stay clean.
[[Franklin and Melissa start to leave. The door is being slowly pushed open, but Kurt's "dead" body is blocking it.]] / <<THUMP THUMP THUMP>> / Melissa: [[grinning]] And I was just gonna say, "There's never a black man with a gun around when you need one!
[[Melissa is talking into a walkie-talkie by one of the side exits, leading out into the employee's parking lot. She is testing the door.]] / <<CHNK>> / Melissa: Uh, hey, guys? Somebody left the door to the back lot open again.
Melissa: We'll need to do another walk-through before we can go home. / Employee (from walkie-talkie): Dammit, Alright...
[[Melissa starts walking back down the hallway.]]
[[Melissa turns towards the closest theater, which is showing 28 Weeks Later.]] / Voice (from inside theater): Hey, guys. / Voice (from inside theater): Wait ... What are you doing? / Voice (from inside theater): Guys ?!
Screaming (from inside theater): ARGHHH! / Screaming (from inside theater): RGGH! / Screaming (from inside theater): GRAHH! / Voice (from inside theater): Stop... NO!!! / [[Melissa stares, unaffected.]]
[[Melissa waves her fingers spookily and rolls her eyes.]] / Melissa (sarcastically): Oooh. I'm scared. / Screaming (from inside theater): GRARR! / Screaming (from inside theater): ARRGHH!
[[Melissa has entered the theater and smiles at Kurt from the back. Kurt has blood dripping from his eyes and mouth, and his eyes are yellow with red irises, exactly like the infected/zombies from 28 Days Later and 28 Weeks later. He has a broomstick poking through his chest.]] / Melissa: Hi, Kurt.... / Kurt: GRAAHRR!
[[Franklin and Jason, also in "zombie" make-up leap out and startle Melissa, as Kurt leaps over some seats to attack.]] / Franklin: RARR! / Melissa: What -- !? / Kurt: ARHH! / Jason: ARGHH!
[[The zombies tackle Melissa behind the seats, out of view.]] / Zombies: RARGHH! / Zombies: AHHH! / Zombies: ARRR! / <<THUMP>>
[[Cut to behind the seats. Franklin is poised to bite Melissa's arm, while Jason is about to take a bit from her left leg. Kurt is on top of her staring at her hungrily.]] / Melissa (laughing): Ha ha ha! You guys are retarded. / Jason: GRAR?
[[Kurt "vomits" blood onto Melissa's face. She squirms in disgust as Jason and Franklin move to take a bite.]] / Kurt: HWA-BLEEAGH
[[Kurt smiles at the love of his life. Franklin and Jason exchange grimaces. Melissa glares at Kurt and clenches her fists.]] / Melissa: I am so breaking up with you.
Angie: Hey, the last show's been running for a while now. Is it cool if I count up and get out of here? / Jason: Let me check your station.
Angie: I can't wait to get out of this dress! I feel like an idiot looking like this... / Jason: You feel stupid? I feel like an extra from the Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Fuckin' Drift.
Angie: I like it! But yeah, it's weird... When we dress up like pirates or zombies, I'm fine, but when I have to be a "normal" girl? Totally self-conscious. / Jason: Well, you shouldn't be. You look hot.
Jason: I mean, cute. I mean, beautiful. / Angie: I'll take any of those, thanks.
Jason: Say, um, are you seeing anybody these days?
Angie: You know... I know you used to call me "Angry" behind my back...
/ Angie: ... and now you are totally hitting on me.
Angie: And you're my supervisor...
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