Showing 1 - 6 of 6 results.
Utilities Zombie: Wanna go to the power plant? / Zombie Girl: Sorry, I can't calcify hands.
Utilities Zombie: I guess I have to go by myself.
[[Zombie Girl watches Utilities Zombie walk away]]
[[Whoa! Zombie Girl isn't a zombie!]] / Girl: And THAT'S how you get rid of a utilities zombie. / Paul: Nice!
Girl: Ok Paul, this one's for all the marbles!
Paul: Actually, it's not. Dave took 3 of the marbles.
Mailbox: What are you going to do with those marbles, Dave? Incite some kind of
Dave: No. I'm going to <SQUEAK> <CLICK> <SQUEAK> <SQUEAK>
Bird: <SQUEAK> <CLICK> / Mailbox: You bastard! / Worm: <CLICK> <CLICK>
Mailbox: You've dolphinified my hearing!
Dave (thinking): A house is basically a garage for people.
[[A bowling ball travels down the lane]]
[[The ball strikes the pins]]
[[The guy who rolled the ball turns to high-five his friend]]
[[As they high-five, a zombie approaches the roller from behind]]
[[The zombie takes a bite out of the roller's head]]
[[The roller lies in a pool of blood, dead]]
[[We zoom in to the deceased roller's face]]
[[The deceased roller's eyes open! They have a creepy red glow!]]
Zombie Bowler: Laaaaanes!
Snake (thinking): A tree. / Mailbox (thinking): A paper fetus.
Space Traveler: Aw crap, a space shrimp. / Space Shrimp: Where's the elevator?
Girl: Oh man, my arm itches!
Girl: But if I keep scratching it, I'll irritate my skin.
Girl: Why is my body driven to damage itself?
It's CRACKTAR / Crack cocaine's adorable dino mascot!
Not to be confused with Self-aware Dinosaur, / Self-aware Dinosaur: I'm a dinosaur! / who's an Allosaurus.
Not to be confused with an Aloesaurus, / Man being eaten by Aloesaurus: AAAAA! OOOOH. / which is both flesh-eating and good for the skin.
Kind of like Zombie Ointment.
AGORAPHOBIC HAMSTER / TRIES ZOMBIE OINTMENT
Agoraphobic Hamster: EEEP!* / *Translation: This is not soothing.
[[A New Year's Map is presented, including the following points:]] / Kingdom of Sobriety / Two-Beer Pier / Light Buzz Lagoon / Tipsy Plains / How Many Isthmus / Beergoggles Butte / Drunken Pass / Blackout Hills / Sharpie Futon / Painful Morning Wood
[[ORIGAMI SUPPLY SHOP]] / [[OPEN]] [[PAPER]] [[STUFF]] / Shop Owner: Man, shoplifters are killing my profits. / Dude: Have you tried putting up a sign? / Shop Owner: Yeah. The last one didn't work / [[SMILE! YOU ARE BEING WATCHED BY SECURITY CAMERAS]] / Shop Owner: so I went with a new spin / [[SMILE! DEATH IS A GUARANTEE FOR YOU AND EVERYONE YOU KNOW]] / Dude: What about the undead? / Shop Owner: What, like zombies? / Dude: Yeah. Like, check this out: I made an origami zombie. / [[ORIGAMBIE!]] / Origambie: Craaaanes! / Shop Owner: Huh. Animate folded paper eating inanimate folded paper. / Dude: Whoa, you have a Galaga machine?! / Onion: An origondor! / Shop Owner: What do you call an origami onion? / Dude: An orion? / Orion: Uh... Down with condors?
Patient: Well, Doc, it occurred to me that my body is full of meat...
Patient: ...but it hasn't spoiled over the course of decades!
Patient: Am I frozen? / Doc: Says here your core temperature is about 99 degrees.
Doc: That's 10,701 degrees cooler than the core temperature of the Earth.
Patient: I'm frigid! / Doc: 'fraid so. / Ninja Nurse: We have a problem, doctor.
Doc: I told you before, Ninja Nurse: most of the "zombies" around here are just people I misdiagnosed with death. / Ninja Nurse: It's not that --
Ninja Nurse: it's my nemesis -- INVERSE NURSE! / [[A sign reads, "FREE COFFEE"]]
Santos: Why doesn't anyone want coffee today, Paul? / Paul: Beats me, Santos.
Santos: You ever feel like you're Ronald Reagan, and society has a crush on Jodie Foster?
Alt: Unexplored subplot: that fact that 10701 is a zip code in Yonkers, New York.
Guy: This place looks safe!
Guy: Man, zombies are a lot scarier in real life than in movies. / Girl: Kind of like chairs.
Guy: This is my let's-search-the-house-for-supplies face. / Girl: Emotive.
Girl: There's a dimetrodon cooking bacon in the kitchen. Is that supplies? / Guy: No.
Guy: Dimetrodons are like bad merchandise?there's always a sail on 'em. / Onion: Man, I was going to help you, but that joke really put a damper on my sense of altruism.
Man in Rowboat: What are you, a sea monster with John Lithgow for eyes? / Sea Monster with John Lithgow for Eyes: I object to the term "monster." I am as the Great One made me.
<<poof!>> / The Great One: Hey pal, I'm not a creator god. I'm a god of death. / Man in Rowboat: And hot dogs. / The Great One: Right. / Man in Rowboat: Stupid Lithgow Monster.
Girl: Oh no?the zombies are breaking in through the windows! / Guy: The windows?! Damn, and here I'm reinforcing the interior walls!
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