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[[Xibalba (Jon's Office)]] / Bottle: / Fish: If I can't go home and I can't be with Reese Witherspoon there's only one other option. I'm going to kill myself, Jon.
[[Xibalba (Jon's Office)]] / Bottle: / Glass: / Jon: No you won't. / Fish: I will! I'll hold my breath until I'm dead.
[[Xibalba (Jon's Office)]] / Bottle: / Glass: / Jon: You're immortal, remember? / Fish: Dammit, I can't do anything right!
[[Xibalba (Jon's Office)]] / Refrigerator: / Glass: / Jon: Something about a zombie blood transfusion? I forget. Even I can't keep us with all the crap that happens to us. / Fish: I'll crush myself in the minifridge door. Maybe that could work.
It took all of our strength to keep Lori restrained. She was a snarling, blood-thirsty beast, determined to devour us alive. Once we returned to the castle with our captive, Mendel took her off to his laboratory, where he shut himself in for the next three days and nights.
Just as I had finally come to terms with Lori's sudden and unexpected reappearance, she was whisked away once more. While the cultists beat helplessly against the castle walls, screaming for her return, Mendel worked feverishly as he pried the secrets of the undead from Lori's unholy living corpse.
As the sun set on the third day, the cultists ended their siege, and Mendel emerged from the lab with a small vial of zombie essence, a re-animated (and very relaxed looking) Lori, and a cigarette. "Was it good for you?" he asked slyly. "I feel like a new woman," Lori replied.
[[Pub (Axis, Peculier)]] / Window: / Man: / Alfred: Zomewhere out zere in Manhattan Three ees a very sleepy John Wells whom I must find.
[[Pub (Axis, Peculier)]] / Alfred: But I am just ze hologram here! Zat ees all fine and good for mixing cocktails but eet ees crap for travelling. I need ze helper.
[[Pub (Axis, Peculier)]] / Flyswatter: / Sound Effect: / Jerrell: / Alfred: Carrot man! Eet eez time to rise and shine! Wakey Wakey!
[[Pub (Axis, Peculier)]] / Jerrell: / Alfred: Eet ees time for ze applied existentialism maybe.
[[Pub (Axis, Peculier)]] / Jerrell: / Alfred: Zere ees ze sexy lady in bikini here to see you! She has ze video games and ze pint of ice cream and ze total lack of sexual boundaries.
[[Pub (Axis, Peculier)]] / Jerrell: / Alfred: And now zere ees zombie Charlton Heston weeth guns sticking out where ze arms used to be! And he ees wanting ze brains! Oh, he eat ze bikini lady brains. How sad.
[[Pub (Axis, Peculier)]] / Alfred: Eh? What ees zis? Zere ees ze video of ze adorable sleepy kitty on ze internets! / Jerrell: Wha? What?
goats presents: JERRELL'S WACKY ADVENTURES IN CUSTOMER SUPPORT!
To: firstname.lastname@example.org / From: email@example.com / Dear Sirs, / AgraghagRGHAr aghARghar aghArhh AghrgAHGhr grAGH Brains AGhrghga AGHrrrAGHRga aghA GHRAgh BRAINS brainsAGhahghan agh GHAGHAG ag gah hjgahAHGhHAG ghARghar aghARhh Brains AGhrghga GHRAgh BRAINS HAGHAG ag AHGhHAG
/ To: firstname.lastname@example.org / From: email@example.com / Re: Brains
die die die 666 fornicate die die die 666 die die die die 666 die die fornicate 666 diediedie die die 666 die die 666 666 fornicate die die die die 666 die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die 666 fornicate die die die 666 die die die die die 666 die die fornicate diedie die die 666 fornicate die 666 die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die 666 die
You've got brains! / Excellent. Our first brains4zombies.com-related email. / What's it say?
To: firstname.lastname@example.org / From: email@example.com
Dear Sirs, / AgraghagRGHAr aghARghar aghArhh / AghrgAHGhr grAGH Brains AGhrghga / AGHrrrAGHRga aghA GHRAgh BRAINS / brainsAGhahghan agh GHAGHAG ag / gah hjgahAHGhHAG / ghARghar aghARhh / Brains AGhrghga / GHRAgh BRAINS / HAGHAG ag / AHGhHAG
We're gonna need to hire some customer support. / I'll call Jerrell.
Argh graharghh brains4zombies.com graragh agh...
What do you think? / Brains4zombies.com?
Yeah. We're gonna sell brains. To zombies. On the internet. / This is what you've been working on for the last week? This is why I haven't seen you?
I.. uh. I built it as a tribute to our love. And stuff. / Well, it ain't the Taj Mahal, but it'll have to do.
That graphic is too big. / And I don't like that font. / Look, calm down. Interface design is very tricky. Just let me do my job and it'll come out fine.
/ You spelled a word wrong. / The color of those buttons hurts my brain. / Good. Then I won't have to do it by hand.
[[Universe (Artificial pocket)]] / Jon: Man, this is great! How many of the other kids I grew up with can I crush with lunchboxes? / Semigod: There are three hundred and six schoolchildren remaining.
[[Universe (Artificial pocket)]] / Glock: Having fun? / Jon: You have <strong>no</strong> idea.
[[Universe (Artificial pocket)]] / Jon: I'm sure you can do all sorts of things in here, create lots of virtual Jodie Foster sex slave zombies and what-not, but the potential for revenge is going to keep me busy for weeks.
[[Universe (Artificial pocket)]] / Glock: But they're just copies. They're not <strong>real</strong>. / Jon: Maybe they could be. Semigod, is it possible to export things created here back into the regular multiverse?
[[Universe (Artificial pocket)]] / Semigod: That feature is only available to registered users. Would you like to register now?
Hi, I'm Carvel spokeszombie Tom Carvel. I've come back from the dead to tell you about Carvel's line of delicious ice cream cakes.
First, we have Fudgie the Whale, which is shapel like a whale. / Yes. / Then, we have our tie cake, which is good for Father's Day or any day you want to remind your father that he's a corporate wage slave.
This cake is our 'Cookiepuss' cake, which is supposed to be shaped like an alien or something. I don't know, we must have been tipsy when we came up with this one, honestly. / But it's delicious, let me tell you.
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