[[Ray hands a tiny cat-sized martini to Onstad, who is visible only from the legs down]]
/ Ray: Happy Birthday, Onstad.
Ray: So...uh...thanks for everything, I guess
Ray: I hope you didn't want more of a fuss -- I couldn't figure out that dang "E-Vite" thing at all
Ray: It seems like there is a difference between e-mail and internet? Is that right?
Ray: Anyways, I've got some hot dogs in the oven. You like to eat hot dogs, right? Baked up real good?
[[Onstad bends down to pick Ray up]]
/ Ray: Whoah, man! Don't pick me up! What the hell, man?!
{{alt text: A good birthday present is to order the book}}
Poopmonster: I'm gettin' old, Jeffrey. This ol' Poopmonster's Earthly lease is gonna run out sooner than later.
/ Jeffrey: Don't be sad, Poopmonster! I have a birthday song just for you!
Jeffrey: [[sings]] Well this is one less birthday you'll have to endure/before the doctor tells you there isn't a cure
Jeffrey: [[sings]]You're gonna rot in the ground after your body is found so have a happy birthdaaay - there isn't a God!
/ Poopmonster: Drum solo!
T-Rex: Today is a good day I think for increasing the integral count of my age!
Narrator: BIRTHDAY FUNNIES
Narrator: FUNNY 1:
/ Dromiceiomimus: I didn't know today was your birthday! Happy birthday!
/ T-Rex: Thank you!
/ Dromiceiomimus: Were any famous men or women born on your birthday?
/ T-Rex: Nope, only little babies!
Narrator: FUNNY 2:
/ Utahraptor: What do you get a fully grown Tyrannosaurus Rex for his birthday?
T-Rex: I don't know, but you'd better hope he likes it!
/ T-Rex & Utahraptor: Hah hah hah!
T-Rex: Best birthday ever!
Tamara: Usually, Dewey won't let us forget his birthday.
/ Mel: I guess he's grown up.
/ [[Through window: "Happy birthday to me!" banner, Dewey holding balloons and handing one to crying child.]]
/ {{Bill's annual birthday strip drawn by Gene Ambaum}}
[[Reginald is at a store, basket on his arm.]]
/ Reginald: Hmmm, Beartato's birthday is coming up. I should get him something he really likes!
/ Then he'll be happy!
[[Reginald ponders a box labeled "Spiders".]]
/ Reginald: Or maybe I should get him something he hates, so he'll appreciate what he already has.
/ Beartato's wise, he'll get it.
[[Reginald contemplates a shirt with his face on the front and the words "reginald club" written on it.]]
/ Reginald: Maybe I should get him something for me... he's a good friend, he'd like to see me happy.
[[Reginald and the store are shown in silhouette, question marks above his head as he holds up a different item in each hand.]]
/ Narrator: And so Reginald deliberated for days on end, struggling to choose the perfect gift, as Beartato's birthday came and went.
Reginald: Problem solved!
{{Heads, a radio-controlled helicopter; tails, that gum that gives you diarrhea.}}
Consider yourself cordially invited to:
/ Athena's Golden Birthday Barbecue
Athena: NO GIFTS PLZ! Just bring some booze, or something interesting to put on the grill.
WHO: Athena Currier
/ WHAT: A barbecue
/ WHEN: Saturday April 23 2011, 7:00pm---whenever
/ WHY: Because Athena is awesome, because Athena is old, because Athena quit her crappy Uptown barista job...and because the weather is FINALLY nice!
Note: Just because I'm a vegetarian doesn't mean you have to be! MEAT IS ALLOWED.
[[#127 - Birthday Shenanigans - Autumn vs Max]]
Max [[opening presents]]: "A comic collection! Thanks, Jacob. I didn't have this one!"
/ Jacob: "You're welcome!"
Max [[sorting presents; Jacob looks on]]: "Ok, who's next?"
Max: "Let's see... This big one is from Autumn."
Max [[holding present to his ear]]: "It's ticking! Did you get me a clock?"
/ Jacob: "Uh, anyone want to switch seats?"
{{alt.text: "The gift that keeps on ticking"}}
/ {{title: "Max's birthday party: a comic featuring comics!"}}
[[Hannelore's apt]]
Winslow: Hannelore! Hannelore! Your birthday present is finished!
/ Hannelore: My birthday present?
/ Winslow: We've been working on it all week!
Hannelore: Um...what is it?
/ Pintsize: Watch!
/ <<BOOP>> Birthday present: LOGGIN ON TO STRATEGIC DEFENSE NETWORK...LOGIN 'jack_bauer' OK
/ ACCESSING ICBM COMMAND/CONTROL...ACCESS OK
/ INFO...TARGETTING OK
/ UPLOADING LAUNCH CODES...UPLOAD OK
/ INITIATING LAUNCH SEQENCE IN 5 SECONDS..
/ 4...3...2...
<<SMASH!>>
Hannelore: <b><i>What the hell was that?!</b></i>
/ Winslow: It was only supposed to play the "Happy Birthday" song and display a holographic cake!
/ Pintsize: Yeah, I was gonna do that, but then I thought "how many people get to avert global thermonuclear war for their birthday?"
{{Number 1087: It's The Thought That Counts}}
Rabid: Oh gross, trees.
/ Rabish: Didn't need to see that.
Space Frog: HA HA FOOLED YOU ABOUT TREES
/ Rabid: Oh! You found us!!
Space Frog: HEY LOOKS LIKE PARTY SUPPLIES
/ Rabid: This is what parks ranger supplies always look like.
Space Frog: OH WHAT A COINCIDENCE I AM BEING INVITED BACK TO THE RANGER STATION ON MY BIRTHDAY
Space Frog: HELLO I AM GOING TO CUT MY BIRTHDAY CAKE WITH THIS KNIFE I FOUND JUST OUTSIDE
Space Frog: IT IS BUFFET LUNCH EVERY LUNCHTIME THIS FRAME JOB WAS THE BEST PRESENT I EVER GOT
/ Rabish: Glad you liked it!
[[Girl wears a party hat and Cat holds a present.]]
/ Girl: We celebrate birthdays for the new opportunities they give is.
Girl: Like "Happy eighteenth birthday, now you can chew tobacco and join the military without your parents' permission!"
Girl: "Happy twelfth birthday, welcome to the adult menu."
Girl: But we should also celebrate the opportunities we lose.
Girl: "Now that you are two: Goodbye Sudden Infant Death Syndrome!
Girl: Or "Happy Twenty-fifth birthday, if you're not schizophrenic yet you probably won't be!"
Girl: "And you'll never be a prodigy."
[[Girl is sad.]]
[[Cat blows a noisemaker and holds his present out to Girl.]]
/ <<phweeeeeeeeeeeet>>
