Beatnik Vampire: Well, an inch was the length of a thumb.
Vampire: And a yard was the length between your nose and your outstretched thumb.
Girl: So man was literally the measure.
Cat: What's a hectare?
/ Vampire: A really big rabbit.
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen -
Announcer: Let's get ready to wrassle!
[[A poster for the fight. Fahrenheit vs. Celsius.]]
/ Cat: I hope there's a run-in.
Vampire: These guys don't allow them.
Cat: It's a two-party wrestling match?
Cat: Boring.
/ Vampire: Don't blame me, I voted for Zombie Joseph Beuys.
[[He smiles.]]
Grrrl: The boob tube - The idiot box -
Girl: Nobody READS any more!
Beatnik Vampire: It's CHEAP and it's TAWDRY
Cat: Twelve channels and there's nothing on! Zombie Joseph Beuys: It turns us into mindless consumerism-powered zombies!
Boy: It gives me something to talk about with people I don't know.
Beatnik Vampire: Nothing says LOWEST COMMON DENOMINATOR like MASS CULTURE!
Cat: Two hundred channels and there's nothing on!
Beatnik Vampire: Actually there's some pretty good stuff.
Grrrl: I'm waiting for the DVD.
Boy: I mostly watch things on my phone.
Girl: Nobody watches TELEVISION any more!
[[Cat and Girl are seated in an airplane.]]
[[A fire erupts at the back of the plane.]]
[[Cat and Girl throw their hands up.]]
<<thunk>>
/ [[The plane crashes into snow.]]
[[Cat and Girl stand outside the plane, shivering.]]
[[They are frozen solid.]]
[[A hooded man walking a penguin like a dog approaches them.]]
[[Another hooded man carries rolls of felt and a bucket of lard.]]
[[Cat and Girl wake up in an igloo.]]
/ Girl: ?
[[A hooded man serves tea to Cat and Girl.]]
/ Cat: Lovely lard.
/ Girl: Thank you.
Girl: That's not what happened at all.
/ Beuys: Who are you to question Zombie Joseph Beuys?
[[Crowd scene, inclyding Cat and Girl, Death walking a barking dog, a cowboy, Grrl, Zombie Joseph Beuys, Vampire, Boy, two bunnies and Mister Chen, among others]]
/ Girl: When we're in public we're acting.
[[Close-up of Cat and Girl, the edges of the crowd visible.]]
/ Cat: When we talk to strangers we play a role.
[[Close-up of Cat and Girl, the endges of the crowd fade to black shadows.]]
/ Cat: With our friends we pretend to be who we think they think we are.
[[Close-up of Cat and Girl, fewer black shadows visible.]]
/ Girl: Even with family we aren't our true selves.
[[Cat and Girl alone. Girl looks sad. Cat looks anxiously at her.]]
[[Cat has disappeared. Girl looks angrily down at the floor.]]
[[Girl looks up and realises she is alone.]]
[[Girl brings her hands anxiously to her mouth.]]
/ Girl: Uh-oh.
[[Boy, Grrrl, Girl and Cat stand around a cauldron dressed as witches.]]
/ Boy: See a black cat on Halloween and pay student loans for the rest of your life!
/ Grrrl: Every time an owl cries a child stops believing in the redemptive power of fiction.
/ Girl: I hear if you lock yourself in a bathroom with the lights off and spin around a hundred times when you look in he mirror you see the long-term implications of American foreign policy in Iraq.
/ Cat: Zombies earn twice what you do.
[[Dead Cat and Girl are in a crowd of zombies.]]
/ Zombies: Brains
Cat: Brains
/ Girl: Brains!
Girl: What have brains ever done for anyone?
Girl: Except make them think they deserve success.
Cat: Brains, brains.
/ Girl: Heart is what makes the difference.
Girl: There's no such thing as success any more. For most people.
Girl: But we can still struggle for meaning.
/ Cat: Brains Zombies: Brains, brains, brains!
[[Cat turns to confront Girl]]
/ Cat: Do you want to argue or do you want to be a part of something?
[[Night in a graveyard.]]
/ Cat: Am I in a capsule hotel?
[[Cat crawls out of a grave.]]
/ Cat: I've always wanted to visit Japan!
Girl: Well
/ Cat: Am I a werewolf?
Cat: Werewolves are cool
/ Girl: I'M dead.
Cat: Or vampires - we could be VAMPIRES
<<KICK>>
Group of Vampires: HA HA HA HA
/ Cat: <<kaf kaf kaf>>
[[The vampires leave.]]
Cat: There's nothing cool about zombies.
[[Cat is digging in a grave.]]
Cat: Nope
Cat: Just another box of person.
/ Girl: I'm not scared!
Cat: The author has to be in ONE of these.
/ <<snap>>
Cat: Look for a wordy tombstone.
/ Girl: g g g g g g Zombies: M b b b b b b b b
Cat and Girl: THE AUTHOR!
Cat and Girl: AAAAAUGHH!
