The Heights - latest additions

The Heights - latest additions http://theheightscomic.com The latest transcribed The Heights comics, powered by OhNoRobot.com en-us Mon, 20 Apr 2009 19:12:48 -0000 60 A Stink http://theheightscomic.com/2008/05/02/a-stink/ http://theheightscomic.com/2008/05/02/a-stink/ Thu, 24 Jul 2008 22:16:12 -0000 <a href="http://theheightscomic.com/2008/05/02/a-stink/">A Stink</a> Darren: Aw snap! This M&M ain't got no peanut in it. I'm 'bout to make a serious stink! Moe: I dunno, D. Maybe you should sleep on it. Darren: Why? Moe: Right now some M&M hotline girl is sittin there, wishin she'd got a diploma, and you bout to go toe-to-toe with her over a peanut... ...maybe you're gettin a little reckless with your stink-makin. Darren: Well maybe you shouldn't tell me what to do, MOE! Moe: Maybe you should learn to choose your battles, DARREN! Darren: Maybe you're a shmuck-face know-it-all! I'll be in my room! Darren [on phone]: Yes I WOULD like to speak to your manager! Darren [thought bubble]: Damn... I guess this is a pretty frivolous stink I'm makin. I owe my dawg an apology. A Stink

Darren: Aw snap! This M&M ain't got no peanut in it. I'm 'bout to make a serious stink!

Moe: I dunno, D. Maybe you should sleep on it.
Darren: Why?

Moe: Right now some M&M hotline girl is sittin there, wishin she'd got a diploma, and you bout to go toe-to-toe with her over a peanut...
...maybe you're gettin a little reckless with your stink-makin.

Darren: Well maybe you shouldn't tell me what to do, MOE!
Moe: Maybe you should learn to choose your battles, DARREN!

Darren: Maybe you're a shmuck-face know-it-all! I'll be in my room!

Darren [on phone]: Yes I WOULD like to speak to your manager!
Darren [thought bubble]: Damn... I guess this is a pretty frivolous stink I'm makin. I owe my dawg an apology.]]> Farewell, Bonaduce http://theheightscomic.com/2008/04/29/farewell-bonaduce/ http://theheightscomic.com/2008/04/29/farewell-bonaduce/ Wed, 25 Jun 2008 05:32:01 -0000 <a href="http://theheightscomic.com/2008/04/29/farewell-bonaduce/">Farewell, Bonaduce</a> Lunch Box: FUCK YOU! Randy: So I guess that was fairly easy after all... Randy: Wanna go get some ice cream? Darren: Shut up, Randy. Farewell, Bonaduce

Lunch Box: FUCK YOU!

Randy: So I guess that was fairly easy after all...

Randy: Wanna go get some ice cream?
Darren: Shut up, Randy.]]> End Game http://theheightscomic.com/2008/04/22/end-game/ http://theheightscomic.com/2008/04/22/end-game/ Tue, 24 Jun 2008 00:04:20 -0000 <a href="http://theheightscomic.com/2008/04/22/end-game/">End Game</a> Randy: Possessed? Darren: Possessed. Randy: By Danny Bonaduce? Darren: That's what I'm telling you! Randy: Well then I've got to get rid of this thing. It's not going to be easy... But I think I've got an idea... End Game

Randy: Possessed?
Darren: Possessed.
Randy: By Danny Bonaduce?
Darren: That's what I'm telling you!

Randy: Well then I've got to get rid of this thing. It's not going to be easy...
But I think I've got an idea...]]> Detective Darren http://theheightscomic.com/2008/04/18/detective-darren/ http://theheightscomic.com/2008/04/18/detective-darren/ Tue, 24 Jun 2008 00:01:56 -0000 <a href="http://theheightscomic.com/2008/04/18/detective-darren/">Detective Darren</a> Darren: So, lemme get this straight... you threw Moe's lunchbox in the trash, then when you woke up it was in your bed... and then it said "fuck you"?? Randy (on phone): Yes, exactly. Darren (on phone): Did it say anything else? Randy: Oh sure, it hurled pretty much every obscenity I'm familiar with. Then it accused me of not having a soul. Then it sobbed quietly for roughly an hour before explaining that all he needed was a hug sometimes. Darren (on phone): Right. And what did it sound like? Randy: Like a short, wrathful substance abuser who hadn't slept in several months. Darren: ... Don't move, I'm on my way there! Detective Darren

Darren: So, lemme get this straight... you threw Moe's lunchbox in the trash, then when you woke up it was in your bed... and then it said "fuck you"??
Randy (on phone): Yes, exactly.

Darren (on phone): Did it say anything else?
Randy: Oh sure, it hurled pretty much every obscenity I'm familiar with. Then it accused me of not having a soul. Then it sobbed quietly for roughly an hour before explaining that all he needed was a hug sometimes.

Darren (on phone): Right. And what did it sound like?
Randy: Like a short, wrathful substance abuser who hadn't slept in several months.

Darren: ... Don't move, I'm on my way there!]]> The Birds http://theheightscomic.com/2008/04/11/the-birds/ http://theheightscomic.com/2008/04/11/the-birds/ Fri, 09 May 2008 17:16:42 -0000 <a href="http://theheightscomic.com/2008/04/11/the-birds/">The Birds</a> Randy: ZZZZZZZZ ZZZZZZZZZZ Randy: AAAAHHH!!! Lunchbox: Fuck You!! The Birds

Randy: ZZZZZZZZ
ZZZZZZZZZZ

Randy: AAAAHHH!!!

Lunchbox: Fuck You!!]]> Randy Can't Get Happy http://theheightscomic.com/2008/04/08/randy-cant-get-happy/ http://theheightscomic.com/2008/04/08/randy-cant-get-happy/ Thu, 01 May 2008 03:31:09 -0000 <a href="http://theheightscomic.com/2008/04/08/randy-cant-get-happy/">Randy Can't Get Happy</a> Randy: No, Moe, I'm not "totally jazzed" about my lunch... ...For starters, why did you put a lunch box inside of a lunch bag? Randy: Well, on top of being just excessive packaging, it's also inappropriate... Because I'm a scientist, Moe. I can't come to work with a lunchbox! Randy: And furtherm... What?... oh yeah the sandwich was great... what was that stuff?... Nutella?... yeah... yeah you're right, it IS like peanut butter made of chocolate... yeah... yes I suppose it is one of the best ideas on the pla... Randy: Wait a minute, we're getting off subject. This lunchbox is a real problem. My boss saw me with it and now he thinks I'm a dunce. You probably just cost me my promotion... No, I'm definitely not going to let you speak to my boss. Randy: No, I don't want to talk to... No... No I don't want to talk to... Moe do not put him on the phone I did not ask to speak to... Randy: ...Hello, Francis... No, I'm not "totally jazzed" about my lunch... Randy Can't Get Happy

Randy: No, Moe, I'm not "totally jazzed" about my lunch...
...For starters, why did you put a lunch box inside of a lunch bag?

Randy: Well, on top of being just excessive packaging, it's also inappropriate...
Because I'm a scientist, Moe. I can't come to work with a lunchbox!

Randy: And furtherm... What?... oh yeah the sandwich was great... what was that stuff?... Nutella?... yeah... yeah you're right, it IS like peanut butter made of chocolate... yeah... yes I suppose it is one of the best ideas on the pla...

Randy: Wait a minute, we're getting off subject. This lunchbox is a real problem. My boss saw me with it and now he thinks I'm a dunce. You probably just cost me my promotion...
No, I'm definitely not going to let you speak to my boss.

Randy: No, I don't want to talk to... No... No I don't want to talk to... Moe do not put him on the phone I did not ask to speak to...

Randy: ...Hello, Francis...
No, I'm not "totally jazzed" about my lunch...]]> Redemption http://theheightscomic.com/2008/04/04/redemption/ http://theheightscomic.com/2008/04/04/redemption/ Wed, 23 Apr 2008 03:01:36 -0000 <a href="http://theheightscomic.com/2008/04/04/redemption/">Redemption</a> Darren: I can sense that you two are in here havin' a bad idea. Francis: We felt bad about saucing Randy so we're packing him lunch for tomorrow. Darren: In a Partridge Family lunchbox??? Randy's a scientist, dummies. You can't do science with a lunchbox!! Jesus. Francis: Sometimes he can be very insensitive. Moe: And I went through a lot of trouble to find that lunchbox. Oh well... {written on a lunch bag} Lunch for Randy. From Moe and Francis (not Darren) Redemption

Darren: I can sense that you two are in here havin' a bad idea.
Francis: We felt bad about saucing Randy so we're packing him lunch for tomorrow.

Darren: In a Partridge Family lunchbox??? Randy's a scientist, dummies. You can't do science with a lunchbox!! Jesus.

Francis: Sometimes he can be very insensitive.
Moe: And I went through a lot of trouble to find that lunchbox. Oh well...

{written on a lunch bag} Lunch for Randy. From Moe and Francis (not Darren)]]> Sauced! http://theheightscomic.com/2008/03/28/sauced/ http://theheightscomic.com/2008/03/28/sauced/ Mon, 14 Apr 2008 19:29:23 -0000 <a href="http://theheightscomic.com/2008/03/28/sauced/">Sauced!</a> Randy: If I had those golden dreams of my yesterdaaayyy I would wrap you in the heavens and feel it dying dying DYING all the way. I feel like makin'... Randy: Ba-da BAAA ba-da BAAA ba-da BAAA FEEL LIKE MAKIN' LOOOVE BAAA ba-da BAAA ba-da BAOWWW Randy: Feel like maaaakin' love TOOOOO... {splort} Randy: AAAHHHH! Sauced!

Randy: If I had those golden dreams of my yesterdaaayyy I would wrap you in the heavens and feel it dying dying DYING all the way. I feel like makin'...

Randy: Ba-da BAAA ba-da BAAA ba-da BAAA FEEL LIKE MAKIN' LOOOVE BAAA ba-da BAAA ba-da BAOWWW

Randy: Feel like maaaakin' love TOOOOO...

{splort}
Randy: AAAHHHH!]]> The Sauce Shooter http://theheightscomic.com/2008/03/25/the-sauce-shooter/ http://theheightscomic.com/2008/03/25/the-sauce-shooter/ Sun, 13 Apr 2008 08:27:30 -0000 <a href="http://theheightscomic.com/2008/03/25/the-sauce-shooter/">The Sauce Shooter</a> Moe: Dig... People get their honk on all reckless... But the horn ain't no smart bomb... That fool cutting you off might think you're honkin' at a pretty lady or somethin'... Moe: But with the new Mobile Sauce Shooter, you can hit his car with a squirt of ketchup, mustard, or even A1... Darren: OK, but what about barbecue sauce, or teriyaki, or marinara? Moe: What about yes, yes and yes!!! Darren: Hollandaise? Thousand island dressing? Gorgonzola cheese sauce? Moe: Chipotle mayo, tarragon vinaigrette, spiced pine nut hummus! Darren: I'm gettin hungry! Randy: ENOUGH!!! Randy: Never in all my days have I been subject to such unadulterated twaddle!! Randy: Come on, Francis. We're leaving before we get infected with stupid! Francis: Maple syrup? Moe & Darren: HELL YEAH!!! The Sauce Shooter

Moe: Dig... People get their honk on all reckless... But the horn ain't no smart bomb... That fool cutting you off might think you're honkin' at a pretty lady or somethin'...

Moe: But with the new Mobile Sauce Shooter, you can hit his car with a squirt of ketchup, mustard, or even A1...

Darren: OK, but what about barbecue sauce, or teriyaki, or marinara?
Moe: What about yes, yes and yes!!!

Darren: Hollandaise? Thousand island dressing? Gorgonzola cheese sauce?
Moe: Chipotle mayo, tarragon vinaigrette, spiced pine nut hummus!
Darren: I'm gettin hungry!

Randy: ENOUGH!!!

Randy: Never in all my days have I been subject to such unadulterated twaddle!!

Randy: Come on, Francis. We're leaving before we get infected with stupid!

Francis: Maple syrup?
Moe & Darren: HELL YEAH!!!]]> PIG! http://theheightscomic.com/2008/03/21/pig/ http://theheightscomic.com/2008/03/21/pig/ Sun, 13 Apr 2008 07:54:55 -0000 <a href="http://theheightscomic.com/2008/03/21/pig/">PIG!</a> Girl 1: OMIGOD! Look at that guy over there! Girl 2: OMIGOD what a pig!!! Girl 2: omigod... PIG!!! Girl 1: PIG!!! Darren: Man, I dig on some french toast, but it is ME-SSY!!! Randy: I believe that's why you have the fork. Darren: Look at those girls. Can't stop starin' at the big D PIG!

Girl 1: OMIGOD! Look at that guy over there!
Girl 2: OMIGOD what a pig!!!

Girl 2: omigod... PIG!!!
Girl 1: PIG!!!

Darren: Man, I dig on some french toast, but it is ME-SSY!!!

Randy: I believe that's why you have the fork.
Darren: Look at those girls. Can't stop starin' at the big D]]>