Directionless - latest additions

Directionless - latest additions http://directionlesscomic.com The latest transcribed Directionless comics, powered by OhNoRobot.com en-us Sun, 19 Apr 2009 21:01:58 -0000 60 Christmas Trees Wear Skirts http://directionlesscomic.com/index.php?p=8 http://directionlesscomic.com/index.php?p=8 Mon, 29 Dec 2008 08:33:28 -0000 <a href="http://directionlesscomic.com/index.php?p=8">Christmas Trees Wear Skirts</a> [[Top-view blueprint diagram of a Christmas tree stand, and a tree skirt. The stand is "big," the opening in the skirt is "small."]] Label: Fig. 1 - Diameters of Tree Stand vs. Tree Skirt [[Side view blueprint diagram. The skirt is draped over the stand, covering the sides.]] Label: Fig. 2 - Proper placement of Skirt over Stand. [[Mike and Jon are lying in the floor under a Christmas tree, fighting over the tree skirt.]] Jon: It's too big to fit in the opening! Mike: It's called a SKIRT because it sorta... RIDES UP there. Jon: I still think it needs to be bigger. Label: Fig. 3 - Conversation resulting from confusion over this process. Christine: That's what SHE said! Christmas Trees Wear Skirts

[[Top-view blueprint diagram of a Christmas tree stand, and a tree skirt. The stand is "big," the opening in the skirt is "small."]]
Label: Fig. 1 - Diameters of Tree Stand vs. Tree Skirt

[[Side view blueprint diagram. The skirt is draped over the stand, covering the sides.]]
Label: Fig. 2 - Proper placement of Skirt over Stand.

[[Mike and Jon are lying in the floor under a Christmas tree, fighting over the tree skirt.]]
Jon: It's too big to fit in the opening!
Mike: It's called a SKIRT because it sorta... RIDES UP there.
Jon: I still think it needs to be bigger.
Label: Fig. 3 - Conversation resulting from confusion over this process.

Christine: That's what SHE said!]]> The Bus Ride http://directionlesscomic.com/index.php?p=7 http://directionlesscomic.com/index.php?p=7 Sat, 09 Aug 2008 07:45:15 -0000 <a href="http://directionlesscomic.com/index.php?p=7">The Bus Ride</a> [[Christine Walks up to a "South Campus" bus at night]] Narrator: Saturday Night - 1 AM. After a long day, Christine goes to visit Mike on main campus. [[Christine Stands on the bus, a look of surprise on her face.]] Drunk Kids: WOOOOO! Drunk Kids: Welcome to the BUUUS!! [[The bus drives through the night]] Drunk Kid: You're awesome! Other Drunk Kid: No you're awesome! Drunk Kids: Woo! [[Christine, sitting on the bus, smiles and looks out the window.]] [[Christine's hand pulls the "stop" cord]] <<ding!>> [[Christine walks away from the bus. She smiles, bemused, and glances back.]] Drunk Kids (singing): Na na naa naa! Na na naa naa! HEY HEY HEY! GOO-OOD NIIIIGHT! [[Christine meets Mike in his room]] Mike: Hey! How was- Christine: Best. Bus Ride. Ever! The Bus Ride

[[Christine Walks up to a "South Campus" bus at night]]
Narrator: Saturday Night - 1 AM. After a long day, Christine goes to visit Mike on main campus.

[[Christine Stands on the bus, a look of surprise on her face.]]
Drunk Kids: WOOOOO!
Drunk Kids: Welcome to the BUUUS!!

[[The bus drives through the night]]
Drunk Kid: You're awesome!
Other Drunk Kid: No you're awesome!

Drunk Kids: Woo!
[[Christine, sitting on the bus, smiles and looks out the window.]]

[[Christine's hand pulls the "stop" cord]]
<>

[[Christine walks away from the bus. She smiles, bemused, and glances back.]]
Drunk Kids (singing): Na na naa naa! Na na naa naa! HEY HEY HEY! GOO-OOD NIIIIGHT!

[[Christine meets Mike in his room]]
Mike: Hey! How was-
Christine: Best. Bus Ride. Ever!]]> Yes, He Really Has That Hoodie http://directionlesscomic.com/index.php?p=6 http://directionlesscomic.com/index.php?p=6 Sun, 29 Jun 2008 21:40:43 -0000 <a href="http://directionlesscomic.com/index.php?p=6">Yes, He Really Has That Hoodie</a> [[Mike and Dan stand in a room. Dan is wearing a blue "Spider-Man" style hoodie.]] Mike: I messed up... Dan: What's wrong? Mike: I introduced you last time, and I didn't even say your name! [[Mike looks downtrodden.]] Mike: One issue into the revamped version of this thing... I've already messed it up... [[Mike gestures towards Dan, who is offscreen.]] Mike: Oh well... Everyone, this is my roommate, D- Dan: No! Wait! ZIIIIIIP! [[Extreme close-up on Dan's face, now covered by the zipped-up hood of the hoodie, which covers his whole head and has eyes on it to make him look like Spiderman.]] Dan: Let me remain mysterious! [[Wide shot. Dan and Mike look at each other for a beat.]] [[Mike grins.]] Mike: Dan, you look ridiculous. [[Dan freaks out.]] Dan: No! You're ruining it! Yes, He Really Has That Hoodie

[[Mike and Dan stand in a room. Dan is wearing a blue "Spider-Man" style hoodie.]]
Mike: I messed up...
Dan: What's wrong?
Mike: I introduced you last time, and I didn't even say your name!

[[Mike looks downtrodden.]]
Mike: One issue into the revamped version of this thing... I've already messed it up...

[[Mike gestures towards Dan, who is offscreen.]]
Mike: Oh well... Everyone, this is my roommate, D-
Dan: No! Wait!

ZIIIIIIP!

[[Extreme close-up on Dan's face, now covered by the zipped-up hood of the hoodie, which covers his whole head and has eyes on it to make him look like Spiderman.]]
Dan: Let me remain mysterious!

[[Wide shot. Dan and Mike look at each other for a beat.]]

[[Mike grins.]]
Mike: Dan, you look ridiculous.
[[Dan freaks out.]]
Dan: No! You're ruining it!]]> Starting Over http://directionlesscomic.com/index.php?p=5 http://directionlesscomic.com/index.php?p=5 Sat, 05 Apr 2008 19:50:37 -0000 <a href="http://directionlesscomic.com/index.php?p=5">Starting Over</a> [[Mike sits staring at something in front of him.]] [[He looks quizzically at a pencil in his hand.]] [[He rests his head in his hands.]] Mike: *Sigh...* [[Dan and Mike sit in their dorm room.]] Dan: What is it? Mike: I don't know what to do. I'm starting this comic again, but it's been two YEARS since the last one. Dan: So? Mike: A lot's happened in two years! I switched majors, I got a girlfriend... My old roommate doesn't even go here anymore! Dan: I say just keep going as usual. Mike: Really? Dan: Sure. Don't draw attention to it. Mike: Yeah, you're probably right. A big fourth-wall-breaking intro probably wouldn't work too well... [[Mike, as a pencil sketch, looks out at you.]] Mike: Shit, have you been there the whole time? Starting Over

[[Mike sits staring at something in front of him.]]

[[He looks quizzically at a pencil in his hand.]]

[[He rests his head in his hands.]]
Mike: *Sigh...*

[[Dan and Mike sit in their dorm room.]]
Dan: What is it?
Mike: I don't know what to do. I'm starting this comic again, but it's been two YEARS since the last one.
Dan: So?

Mike: A lot's happened in two years! I switched majors, I got a girlfriend... My old roommate doesn't even go here anymore!
Dan: I say just keep going as usual.
Mike: Really?

Dan: Sure. Don't draw attention to it.
Mike: Yeah, you're probably right. A big fourth-wall-breaking intro probably wouldn't work too well...

[[Mike, as a pencil sketch, looks out at you.]]
Mike: Shit, have you been there the whole time?]]> Classic #4: Dorm Ninja http://directionlesscomic.com/index.php?p=4 http://directionlesscomic.com/index.php?p=4 Tue, 01 Apr 2008 02:21:28 -0000 <a href="http://directionlesscomic.com/index.php?p=4">Classic #4: Dorm Ninja</a> Narrator: Silently, the master ninja approaches his quarry. [[A shape appears silhouetted in the doorway]] Narrator: The Evil Overlord has long kept this treasure hidden, but soon it shall be freed of its bonds. [[Lenny sits in the glow of his laptop.]] Narrator: Good... the Overlord is occupied, his gaze foolishly averted from my prize. [[The shape tiptoes through the room.]] Narrator: This task is best done quickly... and silently. [[The shape, Andres, reaches into a glowing refrigerator.]] Narrator: Success! [[A light switch flips on.]] <<Click!>> [[Andres runs away with a pile of yogurt containers in his arms.]] Lenny: Damn it, Andres! Stop Stealing my yogurt! Andres: Ack! Foiled again! Fleeeeeee! Classic #4: Dorm Ninja

Narrator: Silently, the master ninja approaches his quarry.
[[A shape appears silhouetted in the doorway]]
Narrator: The Evil Overlord has long kept this treasure hidden, but soon it shall be freed of its bonds.

[[Lenny sits in the glow of his laptop.]]
Narrator: Good... the Overlord is occupied, his gaze foolishly averted from my prize.

[[The shape tiptoes through the room.]]
Narrator: This task is best done quickly... and silently.

[[The shape, Andres, reaches into a glowing refrigerator.]]
Narrator: Success!

[[A light switch flips on.]]
<>

[[Andres runs away with a pile of yogurt containers in his arms.]]
Lenny: Damn it, Andres! Stop Stealing my yogurt!
Andres: Ack! Foiled again! Fleeeeeee!]]> Classic #3: Married Without Children http://directionlesscomic.com/index.php?p=3 http://directionlesscomic.com/index.php?p=3 Tue, 25 Mar 2008 06:19:30 -0000 <a href="http://directionlesscomic.com/index.php?p=3">Classic #3: Married Without Children</a> R.A.: These are your New Student Living Agreement forms. They are to help you and your roommate establish ground rules for living together. You won't be filling them out today. You see, right now you haven't lived together long enough to know what might bug you about the other person yet. You're still in, like, the HONEYMOON stage of a MARRIAGE. Lenny: <<snicker>> [[ Later that night, Mike is lying in bed. ]] Lenny: Goodnight, honey-bunch! Mike: One more word, and I'm filing for divorce! Lenny: Oooh! Do I get to keep the Porsche? Classic #3: Married Without Children

R.A.: These are your New Student Living Agreement forms. They are to help you and your roommate establish ground rules for living together. You won't be filling them out today. You see, right now you haven't lived together long enough to know what might bug you about the other person yet. You're still in, like, the HONEYMOON stage of a MARRIAGE.
Lenny: <>

[[ Later that night, Mike is lying in bed. ]]
Lenny: Goodnight, honey-bunch!
Mike: One more word, and I'm filing for divorce!
Lenny: Oooh! Do I get to keep the Porsche?]]> Classic #2: A Great Place For Learning http://directionlesscomic.com/index.php?p=2 http://directionlesscomic.com/index.php?p=2 Tue, 25 Mar 2008 05:56:22 -0000 <a href="http://directionlesscomic.com/index.php?p=2">Classic #2: A Great Place For Learning</a> [[Mike and his parent's are driving to college.]] Mike's Mom: This place brings back memories... I think Mike will really like it here, don't you? Mike's Dad: Uh... Sure... [[Mike's Dad sees a drunken student stumbling in front of a frat house with a "Freshman Girl Drop-Off" banner hung on it.]] Frat Boy: WOOOO! Mike's Dad: Hey honey? Isn't that your old dorm over there? Mike's Mom: No... That's a 7-11... Mike's Dad: Really? Well... keep looking. Classic #2: A Great Place For Learning

[[Mike and his parent's are driving to college.]]
Mike's Mom: This place brings back memories... I think Mike will really like it here, don't you?
Mike's Dad: Uh... Sure...

[[Mike's Dad sees a drunken student stumbling in front of a frat house with a "Freshman Girl Drop-Off" banner hung on it.]]
Frat Boy: WOOOO!

Mike's Dad: Hey honey? Isn't that your old dorm over there?
Mike's Mom: No... That's a 7-11...
Mike's Dad: Really? Well... keep looking.]]> Classic #1: The Roommate http://directionlesscomic.com/index.php?p=1 http://directionlesscomic.com/index.php?p=1 Tue, 25 Mar 2008 05:53:20 -0000 <a href="http://directionlesscomic.com/index.php?p=1">Classic #1: The Roommate</a> Narrator: Phone conversation with the future roommate's Mom... [[Mike is on the phone]] Mike: So I figured Lenny could get the microwave, and I'll cover the television. Lenny's Mom: Oh, I already told him: "No TV or video games at college." Mike: Well... I'm a FILM major. I sort of NEED a TV for that. Lenny's Mom: Oh... I see. Well, as long as it's a small one. But still no games! Narrator: Later, at college... [[They're both playing computer games.]] Lenny: DAMN! This nosferatu is going to kick my ASS! Hey, is that Doom 3 you have there? Lenny's Computer: <<You need blood!>> Mike: (Oh, we'll get along fine...) Classic #1: The Roommate

Narrator: Phone conversation with the future roommate's Mom...
[[Mike is on the phone]]
Mike: So I figured Lenny could get the microwave, and I'll cover the television.
Lenny's Mom: Oh, I already told him: "No TV or video games at college."

Mike: Well... I'm a FILM major. I sort of NEED a TV for that.
Lenny's Mom: Oh... I see. Well, as long as it's a small one. But still no games!

Narrator: Later, at college...
[[They're both playing computer games.]]
Lenny: DAMN! This nosferatu is going to kick my ASS! Hey, is that Doom 3 you have there?
Lenny's Computer: <>
Mike: (Oh, we'll get along fine...)]]>