Chronillogical - latest additions

Chronillogical - latest additions http://chronillogical.com The latest transcribed Chronillogical comics, powered by OhNoRobot.com en-us Tue, 19 Jan 2010 21:12:02 -0000 60 Show Me Your Moves http://chronillogical.com/2009/06/09/show-me-your-moves/ http://chronillogical.com/2009/06/09/show-me-your-moves/ Tue, 19 Jan 2010 20:50:27 -0000 <a href="http://chronillogical.com/2009/06/09/show-me-your-moves/">Show Me Your Moves</a> [[The Old Man offers a pair of spears to Roy and Milo.]] Old Man: Here, arm yourselves-- Milo: Where did you get these? Old Man: --and disembowel the witch! Post-haste! Roy: Disemboweling seems a little ... inappropriate. Don't you think? Roy: ... Milo? [[Milo is noticeably absent.]] Jen: Surprise! I found some powdery stuff in the fridge, and since it's so hot out I thought I'd... [[A be-speared Milo appears before Jen.]] Jen: ... Um. Milo: AH, YES, ER, "DIE"! RUTHLESS "FIEND"! Jen: Aah! [[Jen attacks Milo: THROAT JAB]] Show Me Your Moves

[[The Old Man offers a pair of spears to Roy and Milo.]]
Old Man: Here, arm yourselves--
Milo: Where did you get these?
Old Man: --and disembowel the witch! Post-haste!

Roy: Disemboweling seems a little ... inappropriate. Don't you think?

Roy: ... Milo?
[[Milo is noticeably absent.]]

Jen: Surprise! I found some powdery stuff in the fridge, and since it's so hot out I thought I'd...

[[A be-speared Milo appears before Jen.]]
Jen: ... Um.

Milo: AH, YES, ER, "DIE"! RUTHLESS "FIEND"!
Jen: Aah!

[[Jen attacks Milo: THROAT JAB]]]]> Methuselah http://chronillogical.com/2009/06/05/methuselah/ http://chronillogical.com/2009/06/05/methuselah/ Tue, 19 Jan 2010 20:47:34 -0000 <a href="http://chronillogical.com/2009/06/05/methuselah/">Methuselah</a> Roy: So you said the gods are at war? What's that about? Old Man: Know you not of the invasion? Your hideous face has not beheld the Greek encampment? Roy: Okay, let's cool it with the ugly-jokes, Methuselah! Roy: Ah, no, I mean---of course I have beheld. I ask for the benefit of my simple-minded friend. Old Man: I see, I see. Well, where to start? I suppose it began with silver-footed Thetis's marriage to the mortal Peleus, when Zues invited--- [[The hanger appears in the distance. Jen stands outside the entrance.]] Milo: Oh, lookie, it's the hang--- uh, I mean, TEMPLE! The temple. Not the hangar. Old Man: Take cover! The witch watches! Old Man: Ooh, even here, do you not feel the chill of her putrescent savagery? Truly, only the most vicious of eviscerations can vanquish this perverse villainy! Jen: Heeey guys! I made lemonade! Methuselah

Roy: So you said the gods are at war? What's that about?
Old Man: Know you not of the invasion? Your hideous face has not beheld the Greek encampment?

Roy: Okay, let's cool it with the ugly-jokes, Methuselah!

Roy: Ah, no, I mean---of course I have beheld. I ask for the benefit of my simple-minded friend.

Old Man: I see, I see. Well, where to start? I suppose it began with silver-footed Thetis's marriage to the mortal Peleus, when Zues invited---

[[The hanger appears in the distance. Jen stands outside the entrance.]]
Milo: Oh, lookie, it's the hang--- uh, I mean, TEMPLE! The temple. Not the hangar.
Old Man: Take cover! The witch watches!

Old Man: Ooh, even here, do you not feel the chill of her putrescent savagery? Truly, only the most vicious of eviscerations can vanquish this perverse villainy!

Jen: Heeey guys! I made lemonade!]]> Ritual Gorefest http://chronillogical.com/2009/06/02/ritual-gorefest/ http://chronillogical.com/2009/06/02/ritual-gorefest/ Tue, 19 Jan 2010 20:44:34 -0000 <a href="http://chronillogical.com/2009/06/02/ritual-gorefest/">Ritual Gorefest</a> Milo: So whaddya say? Old Man: It DOES aggrieve me to know a vile harpy still befouls that sacred place. If you will vanquish the witch, I shall guide you and your misshapen friend. [[Roy glowers.]] Milo: Hooray! Old Man: I must admit, I am excited to see the witch-clensing ceremony. Milo: Eh? Old Man: How does it go again? I can never remember the old children's song. Old Man: Ohhh, you ... Bash the skull and pluck the eyes, / Piece the chest and gore the thighs / When that's done you scoop the brain... / Then you... you, uh... Old Man: Oh, what is it? "Lick the liver"? Or, wait---no, that's after you drain the blood. Do you need a jar for the goo? Maybe you're supposed to flay the--- Roy: Okay, yes, that's enough. OM: Just be sure you--- Roy: We'll do it as long as you don't say it. Ritual Gorefest

Milo: So whaddya say?
Old Man: It DOES aggrieve me to know a vile harpy still befouls that sacred place. If you will vanquish the witch, I shall guide you and your misshapen friend.

[[Roy glowers.]]
Milo: Hooray!

Old Man: I must admit, I am excited to see the witch-clensing ceremony.
Milo: Eh?
Old Man: How does it go again? I can never remember the old children's song.

Old Man: Ohhh, you ... Bash the skull and pluck the eyes, / Piece the chest and gore the thighs / When that's done you scoop the brain... / Then you... you, uh...

Old Man: Oh, what is it? "Lick the liver"? Or, wait---no, that's after you drain the blood. Do you need a jar for the goo? Maybe you're supposed to flay the---

Roy: Okay, yes, that's enough.
OM: Just be sure you---
Roy: We'll do it as long as you don't say it.]]> Sir Dashing http://chronillogical.com/2009/05/29/sir-dashing/ http://chronillogical.com/2009/05/29/sir-dashing/ Tue, 19 Jan 2010 20:41:27 -0000 <a href="http://chronillogical.com/2009/05/29/sir-dashing/">Sir Dashing</a> Old Man: You ask me to risk my life returning to that accursed place? Why? Just to satisfy the idle curiosity of two meandering barbarians? Roy: Umm, well, we're, uh... Milo: We're great warriors! Roy: Uh, yeah! Milo: Searching for adventure! Roy: Darn tootin'! Roy: See, Milo might not look it, but he's strong as an ox! Milo: Ten oxen! Roy: Lots of oxen! Milo: Yeah, and Roy here might not look like much ... In fact, he's a little creepy looking. Bald, dumpy. Milo: He reminds me of a lemur. An infantile subhuman, feebly stumbling through life on his underdeveloped simian limbs. Milo: But... he's really smart? Sir Dashing

Old Man: You ask me to risk my life returning to that accursed place? Why? Just to satisfy the idle curiosity of two meandering barbarians?

Roy: Umm, well, we're, uh...

Milo: We're great warriors!
Roy: Uh, yeah!
Milo: Searching for adventure!
Roy: Darn tootin'!

Roy: See, Milo might not look it, but he's strong as an ox!
Milo: Ten oxen!
Roy: Lots of oxen!

Milo: Yeah, and Roy here might not look like much ... In fact, he's a little creepy looking. Bald, dumpy.

Milo: He reminds me of a lemur. An infantile subhuman, feebly stumbling through life on his underdeveloped simian limbs.

Milo: But... he's really smart?]]> Which Witch In Ipswich? http://chronillogical.com/2009/05/26/which-witch-in-ipswich/ http://chronillogical.com/2009/05/26/which-witch-in-ipswich/ Tue, 19 Jan 2010 20:38:53 -0000 <a href="http://chronillogical.com/2009/05/26/which-witch-in-ipswich/">Which Witch In Ipswich?</a> Roy: Yes, well! That was captivating. I wonder if you'd take us to this "mysterious temple" of yours. Milo: What? Roy, secret meeting! Milo: We're going to the TEMPLE? Roy: I figure it's a good way to keep an eye on the guy. Milo: That's not my concern. WITCHES are my concern. With their WITCHY CURSES. Roy: You ... didn't figure it out? Milo: What do you mean? Roy: A mysterious temple springs up overnight? Filled with "mechanical wonders"? Milo: Yeah! And a WITCH. Roy: The temple is the LAB. JEN is the WITCH. Milo: Jen's a witch? Roy: The witch in the STUPID STORY the CRAZY OLD MAN told us! Which Witch In Ipswich?

Roy: Yes, well! That was captivating. I wonder if you'd take us to this "mysterious temple" of yours.
Milo: What? Roy, secret meeting!

Milo: We're going to the TEMPLE?
Roy: I figure it's a good way to keep an eye on the guy.

Milo: That's not my concern. WITCHES are my concern. With their WITCHY CURSES.
Roy: You ... didn't figure it out?

Milo: What do you mean?
Roy: A mysterious temple springs up overnight? Filled with "mechanical wonders"?

Milo: Yeah! And a WITCH.

Roy: The temple is the LAB. JEN is the WITCH.

Milo: Jen's a witch?
Roy: The witch in the STUPID STORY the CRAZY OLD MAN told us!]]> Strolling Down Memory Lane, Part 2 http://chronillogical.com/2009/05/22/strolling-down-memory-lane-part-2/ http://chronillogical.com/2009/05/22/strolling-down-memory-lane-part-2/ Tue, 19 Jan 2010 20:36:32 -0000 <a href="http://chronillogical.com/2009/05/22/strolling-down-memory-lane-part-2/">Strolling Down Memory Lane, Part 2</a> [[The Old Man hides behind machinery while a giant witchy Jen peers down at him.]] Old Man: Thinking fast, I expertly concealed myself in a nook. But my tricks could not fool the witch's supernatural vison! Jen: You'll never leave this place alive! Because YOU'LL BE DEAD! [[Energy beams shoot from Jen's hands.]] Old Man: She charged me! A great battle ensued! Her vile magic was pitted against my wit and ingenuity! [[Jen and the Old Man do battle above a cleft in the Earth.]] Old Man: Fire hailed from the skies! A great chasm cleaved the earth in twain, and the innumerable souls of the damned issued forth from that howling hollow! [[The Old Man stands still and silent.]] Roy: And THEN what happened? Old Man: Oh, I lost. Strolling Down Memory Lane, Part 2

[[The Old Man hides behind machinery while a giant witchy Jen peers down at him.]]
Old Man: Thinking fast, I expertly concealed myself in a nook. But my tricks could not fool the witch's supernatural vison!

Jen: You'll never leave this place alive! Because YOU'LL BE DEAD!

[[Energy beams shoot from Jen's hands.]]
Old Man: She charged me! A great battle ensued! Her vile magic was pitted against my wit and ingenuity!

[[Jen and the Old Man do battle above a cleft in the Earth.]]
Old Man: Fire hailed from the skies! A great chasm cleaved the earth in twain, and the innumerable souls of the damned issued forth from that howling hollow!

[[The Old Man stands still and silent.]]

Roy: And THEN what happened?
Old Man: Oh, I lost.]]> Strolling Down Memory Lane, Part 1 http://chronillogical.com/2009/05/19/strolling-down-memory-lane-part-1/ http://chronillogical.com/2009/05/19/strolling-down-memory-lane-part-1/ Tue, 19 Jan 2010 20:32:43 -0000 <a href="http://chronillogical.com/2009/05/19/strolling-down-memory-lane-part-1/">Strolling Down Memory Lane, Part 1</a> Old Man: Excuse my foul temperament. I've just come from a most vexing encounter. Travelers like yourselves would do well to be wary. Roy: Oh dear. Wary of what? Old Man: Hear my tale and learn! [[The Old Man looks at a grossly exaggerated version of the hangar---it resembles an ancient Greek temple. Old Man: Roaming the bluffs near my home, I discovered a most mysterious temple. Somehow the glorious structure had sprung up overnight. [[The Old Man enters the hangar. Clockwork wonders abound.]] Old Man: Inside, mechanical wonders bloomed aplenty, clearly the work of Hephaestus himself. [[The Old Man approaches the refrigerator. A tube of Pillsbury cookie dough rests in a golden chalice.]] Old Man: I came upon upon a wintry chamber filled with ambrosia, nectar of the gods! [[A grossly exaggerated version of Jen appears: exceedingly evil-looking and menacing.]] Old Man: But my curiousity betrayed me! Soon I was set upon by a witch most foul! With leathery skin as green as death, her eyes blazed of fire---and her monstrous shriek froze the very earth! Strolling Down Memory Lane, Part 1

Old Man: Excuse my foul temperament. I've just come from a most vexing encounter. Travelers like yourselves would do well to be wary.

Roy: Oh dear. Wary of what?
Old Man: Hear my tale and learn!

[[The Old Man looks at a grossly exaggerated version of the hangar---it resembles an ancient Greek temple.
Old Man: Roaming the bluffs near my home, I discovered a most mysterious temple. Somehow the glorious structure had sprung up overnight.

[[The Old Man enters the hangar. Clockwork wonders abound.]]
Old Man: Inside, mechanical wonders bloomed aplenty, clearly the work of Hephaestus himself.

[[The Old Man approaches the refrigerator. A tube of Pillsbury cookie dough rests in a golden chalice.]]
Old Man: I came upon upon a wintry chamber filled with ambrosia, nectar of the gods!

[[A grossly exaggerated version of Jen appears: exceedingly evil-looking and menacing.]]
Old Man: But my curiousity betrayed me! Soon I was set upon by a witch most foul! With leathery skin as green as death, her eyes blazed of fire---and her monstrous shriek froze the very earth!]]> He's A Scary Guy http://chronillogical.com/2009/05/15/hes-a-scary-guy/ http://chronillogical.com/2009/05/15/hes-a-scary-guy/ Tue, 19 Jan 2010 20:26:06 -0000 <a href="http://chronillogical.com/2009/05/15/hes-a-scary-guy/">He's A Scary Guy</a> Milo: Let's go talk to him. Roy: Is that a good idea? Won't we corrupt the space-time... thing? Is that a thing? Milo: It'll be ... fine. Old Man: WILL IT? Milo: AAAAH! Milo: Oh! Hi there... old man. We were just talking about---um---the SKY. [[Milo nudges Roy: NUDGE NUDGE]] Roy: Oh, yes! It certainly seems to be... intact. Old Man: Are you MAD? How can the skies be INTACT while the Gods themselves WAGE WAR? Milo: Jeeze, way to be a Frowny Frank, guy. He's A Scary Guy

Milo: Let's go talk to him.
Roy: Is that a good idea? Won't we corrupt the space-time... thing? Is that a thing?
Milo: It'll be ... fine.

Old Man: WILL IT?
Milo: AAAAH!

Milo: Oh! Hi there... old man. We were just talking about---um---the SKY.

[[Milo nudges Roy: NUDGE NUDGE]]
Roy: Oh, yes! It certainly seems to be... intact.

Old Man: Are you MAD? How can the skies be INTACT while the Gods themselves WAGE WAR?

Milo: Jeeze, way to be a Frowny Frank, guy.]]> Looking For Bulbs In All The Wrong Places http://chronillogical.com/2009/05/08/looking-for-bulbs-in-all-the-wrong-places/ http://chronillogical.com/2009/05/08/looking-for-bulbs-in-all-the-wrong-places/ Tue, 19 Jan 2010 20:24:04 -0000 <a href="http://chronillogical.com/2009/05/08/looking-for-bulbs-in-all-the-wrong-places/">Looking For Bulbs In All The Wrong Places</a> Roy: This is hopeless. Milo: Nah, we just need to find a light bulb factory. Then we're GOLDEN. Roy: We haven't found ANY sign of human settlement. No roads. Not so much as a ... neatly stacked pile of rocks. Milo: Well, there's a tree over there. Roy: What? Milo: A tree. Someone could have planted it. Roy: This is the WILDERNESS. This is where trees COME FROM. This is where they LIVE. Milo: Yeah, but that guy could have planted it. Roy: GOD FORBID a tree ever sprout on its OWN ACCOR--- Roy: There's a guy? Milo: Yeah, that guy over there. Hey guy! [[Milo waves to the guy, who is the Old Man.]] [[The Old Man waves back.]] Looking For Bulbs In All The Wrong Places

Roy: This is hopeless.
Milo: Nah, we just need to find a light bulb factory. Then we're GOLDEN.

Roy: We haven't found ANY sign of human settlement. No roads. Not so much as a ... neatly stacked pile of rocks.
Milo: Well, there's a tree over there.

Roy: What?
Milo: A tree. Someone could have planted it.

Roy: This is the WILDERNESS. This is where trees COME FROM. This is where they LIVE.
Milo: Yeah, but that guy could have planted it.

Roy: GOD FORBID a tree ever sprout on its OWN ACCOR---

Roy: There's a guy?
Milo: Yeah, that guy over there. Hey guy!
[[Milo waves to the guy, who is the Old Man.]]

[[The Old Man waves back.]]]]> Call The Smitesmith http://chronillogical.com/2009/05/05/call-the-smitesmith/ http://chronillogical.com/2009/05/05/call-the-smitesmith/ Tue, 19 Jan 2010 20:22:03 -0000 <a href="http://chronillogical.com/2009/05/05/call-the-smitesmith/">Call The Smitesmith</a> Jen: You really need to get out of here. Old Man: No! I do not wish to leave. Jen: You're tenacious. That's admirable. But I'm kicking you out. Old Man: If you kick me out now, I will SMITE YOU DOWN! Jen: Really. You'll smite me? Just you? Old Man: Yes! I'll smite you where you stand! I shall draw my--- Old Man: My, uh... Oh dear. Old Man: Now where did I put that? Is it in my other tunic? [[The Old Man lies sprawled on the ground outside.]] Call The Smitesmith

Jen: You really need to get out of here.
Old Man: No! I do not wish to leave.

Jen: You're tenacious. That's admirable. But I'm kicking you out.

Old Man: If you kick me out now, I will SMITE YOU DOWN!

Jen: Really. You'll smite me? Just you?
Old Man: Yes! I'll smite you where you stand! I shall draw my---

Old Man: My, uh... Oh dear.

Old Man: Now where did I put that? Is it in my other tunic?

[[The Old Man lies sprawled on the ground outside.]]]]>