Movies Schmovies! - latest additions

Movies Schmovies! - latest additions http://movies-schmovies.com The latest transcribed Movies Schmovies! comics, powered by OhNoRobot.com en-us Mon, 20 Apr 2009 19:12:59 -0000 60 Mervius and Kevin review Death Race http://movies-schmovies.com/comic.php?x=26 http://movies-schmovies.com/comic.php?x=26 Mon, 25 Aug 2008 01:52:27 -0000 <a href="http://movies-schmovies.com/comic.php?x=26">Mervius and Kevin review Death Race</a> Mervius: Kevin, maybe Speed Racer wouldn't have been a complete bust if Racer X had turned out to be Jason X. Kevin: Merv, this movie just seems to be just an excuse for a lot of gun fights, explosions, and car crashes. But it all unfolds in that montonous, generically grungy atmosphere we've seen a dozen times before. I mean, for a movie that's ostensibly all car crashes, even the car crashes aren't all that spectacular. Kevin: Whoa! Mervius: Except for that one. Mervius: I know the script isn't really a drawing point for a movie like this, but man, this dialogue is lousy. Kevin: Even Jason Statham must think so, because he's not having any luck delivering his lines at all. Mervius: Yeah, he seems to be on auto pilot, perhaps relying on his screen presence to get him through this one. He's definitely not getting any help from director Paul W.S. Anderson, though I wouldn't expect any such thing from the guy who directed such brain-dead action fare as Soldier and Alien vs. Predator. Kevin: I don't know what Anderson is going for here. I know he's trying to appeal to a pseudo-macho teenage hornball base, but this is a mess. It feels like he handed a bunch of 12-year-olds a big budget production crew and a crapload of cocaine, and said, "Go nuts!" Mervius: Kevin, I think that Joan Allen sound byte there at the end sums up the stupid thug-cool mentality that pervaded the entire film. Kevin: I agree. I also think it sums up how little depth her character had. I mean, I know she's a villain, but come on! She might as well have been twisting a handlebar mustache throughout the whole thing! Mervius: It's a movie that has no interest in characters. Everybody in sight is an amoral shell of a person, worrying about nothing but the interests of Numero Uno. Not that I expect a character study out of a story that's basically a mash-up of The Shawshank Redemption and Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome. Kevin: I know it's not supposed to be deep. But a world populated by such vague cardboard characters had better offer up some other interesting virtues, or it'll lose me pretty quick. This hellish future had no virtues or values whatsoever. Mervius: I think Nietzshe would recognize this nihilistic fantasy world. "The world itself is a filthy monster," and "God is dead." As Nietzshe also put it, "Whether man recovers from nihilism is a question of his strength!" And I think strength is the only virtue anyone in this movie recognizes. Kevin: I've watched Oz. I know the score. I have no trouble believing that men in prison would be that ripped. What I do have trouble believing, however, is that women in prison look like the babes we just saw. Mervius: Yeah, this version of the universe is all about the bottom line as seen by a 12-year-old boy. Everything in sight is concocted from a reality that's been bottle-necked in a funnel of hyper-reality that doesn't ring true for a second. Kevin: Tell me about it. Even the racing stuff - which, let's be honest here, is the only reason anyone's gonna go and see this movie - bends the laws of the real world past the breaking point. The cars are almost indestructible, nobody ever runs out of ammunition, and helmetless drivers are beaten and battered, only to crawl away relatively unscathed - usually to die a bloodier, more in-your-face death moments later. Kevin: I just think there are better, more entertaining shoot-em-up movies out there. I'm all for a high-octane, head-smashing good time, but this was just painful. The redundant action scenes reeked of fanboy saliva, and even the quieter moments were painful, thanks to the bad acting. With the exception of the incomparable Ian McShane. He was great. I think I just like him. Mervius: The best thing I can say about the movie is that people will probably get what they expect after watching the trailer. And it's not as bad as the director's Alien vs. Predator. For me, though, Death Race is not a very interesting story, and the director must think making the movie loud & louder makes up for any flaws. I equate that with dumb & dumber, at least in this case. Mervius and Kevin review Death Race

Mervius: Kevin, maybe Speed Racer wouldn't have been a complete bust if Racer X had turned out to be Jason X.

Kevin: Merv, this movie just seems to be just an excuse for a lot of gun fights, explosions, and car crashes. But it all unfolds in that montonous, generically grungy atmosphere we've seen a dozen times before. I mean, for a movie that's ostensibly all car crashes, even the car crashes aren't all that spectacular.

Kevin: Whoa!
Mervius: Except for that one.

Mervius: I know the script isn't really a drawing point for a movie like this, but man, this dialogue is lousy.
Kevin: Even Jason Statham must think so, because he's not having any luck delivering his lines at all.
Mervius: Yeah, he seems to be on auto pilot, perhaps relying on his screen presence to get him through this one. He's definitely not getting any help from director Paul W.S. Anderson, though I wouldn't expect any such thing from the guy who directed such brain-dead action fare as Soldier and Alien vs. Predator.
Kevin: I don't know what Anderson is going for here. I know he's trying to appeal to a pseudo-macho teenage hornball base, but this is a mess. It feels like he handed a bunch of 12-year-olds a big budget production crew and a crapload of cocaine, and said, "Go nuts!"

Mervius: Kevin, I think that Joan Allen sound byte there at the end sums up the stupid thug-cool mentality that pervaded the entire film.
Kevin: I agree. I also think it sums up how little depth her character had. I mean, I know she's a villain, but come on! She might as well have been twisting a handlebar mustache throughout the whole thing!

Mervius: It's a movie that has no interest in characters. Everybody in sight is an amoral shell of a person, worrying about nothing but the interests of Numero Uno. Not that I expect a character study out of a story that's basically a mash-up of The Shawshank Redemption and Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome.
Kevin: I know it's not supposed to be deep. But a world populated by such vague cardboard characters had better offer up some other interesting virtues, or it'll lose me pretty quick. This hellish future had no virtues or values whatsoever.

Mervius: I think Nietzshe would recognize this nihilistic fantasy world. "The world itself is a filthy monster," and "God is dead." As Nietzshe also put it, "Whether man recovers from nihilism is a question of his strength!" And I think strength is the only virtue anyone in this movie recognizes.

Kevin: I've watched Oz. I know the score. I have no trouble believing that men in prison would be that ripped. What I do have trouble believing, however, is that women in prison look like the babes we just saw.
Mervius: Yeah, this version of the universe is all about the bottom line as seen by a 12-year-old boy. Everything in sight is concocted from a reality that's been bottle-necked in a funnel of hyper-reality that doesn't ring true for a second.

Kevin: Tell me about it. Even the racing stuff - which, let's be honest here, is the only reason anyone's gonna go and see this movie - bends the laws of the real world past the breaking point. The cars are almost indestructible, nobody ever runs out of ammunition, and helmetless drivers are beaten and battered, only to crawl away relatively unscathed - usually to die a bloodier, more in-your-face death moments later.

Kevin: I just think there are better, more entertaining shoot-em-up movies out there. I'm all for a high-octane, head-smashing good time, but this was just painful. The redundant action scenes reeked of fanboy saliva, and even the quieter moments were painful, thanks to the bad acting. With the exception of the incomparable Ian McShane. He was great. I think I just like him.
Mervius: The best thing I can say about the movie is that people will probably get what they expect after watching the trailer. And it's not as bad as the director's Alien vs. Predator. For me, though, Death Race is not a very interesting story, and the director must think making the movie loud & louder makes up for any flaws. I equate that with dumb & dumber, at least in this case.]]> Mervius & Kevin weather Tropic Thunder http://movies-schmovies.com/comic.php?x=25 http://movies-schmovies.com/comic.php?x=25 Sun, 24 Aug 2008 02:16:00 -0000 <a href="http://movies-schmovies.com/comic.php?x=25">Mervius & Kevin weather Tropic Thunder</a> Mervius: "If I admit I liked your Hulk movie, would you get back in the helicopter?" Kevin: "Can we go to that restaurant I like?" "What do you mean, you people?!" Mervius: Kevin, I heard that Robert Downey Jr. and Tom Cruise are in this movie. I hope they show up soon. Kevin: Uh, Merv, you've been watching them for the past half hour. Under all that make-up. See? Mervius: Man oh man, Robert Downey Jr. - playing a white man playing a black man - really disappears into the role. Kevin: ...the role of a man who really disappears into his role. Mervius: That's got to cause some kind of a feedback loop from which an actor might never return! Mervius: I miss the version of Ben Stiller who gave us "The Ben Stiller Show" and the hilarious Flirting with Disaster, back in the days when he had to work to get laughs. Kevin: I don't even miss that Ben Stiller. Mervius: I think that ever since he discovered that low-brow stuff like Zoolander and Dodgeball have an audience, he's been coasting in neutral. Or maybe he's found a "dumb" on the gear shift. But I guess, to be fair, he's at least trying to go deeper this time around, attempting satire beneath the shtick. Mervius: Kevin, in my mind, that ending tries to celebrate the movie's goodness, but only underscores the question of who the joke is on - Hollywood's crappy movies, or the audiences who eat them up. Kevin: Any time I see a big-name celebrity dancing for no good reason, I question a movie's validity. That gag was not as funny as they wanted it to be - it kind of put an appropriate period on the end of the whole uneven affair. Kevin: I think the main reason it didn't flow is because Ben Stiller's brand of stupid-funny doesn't lend itself well to a more intelligent genre like satire. A lot of the gags are more high-concept, and they're sort of funny in their own right, but the filmmakers never let them go anywhere or break out of the idea stage. Mervius: You're right about it being uneven - satire, farce, over-the-top goofiness - all against a backdrop of a sweaty, dirty, dangerous jungle. It's a movie at war with itself. Mervius: And I think Stiller shows his insecurity by always getting in our faces. Too much of the humor is what I call stunt comedy - not in the literal sense of the word "stunt," of course. Stiller goes for too many easy gags, the kind that are funny because you'll be talking about 'em the next day, not the other way around. Kevin: You're right, although, I will admit, the movie did provide me with a decent amount of laughs. Mervius: Oh, me too. I went into this thinking it would be a one-joke farce. Instead it's got a dozen or so hilarious jokes. Kevin: But a lot of it does seem to be built around single jokes, repeated again and again. Mervius: It's like each of the leads had their own tailored joke, and anytime the script falters, it would point at one of those guys and tell him to riff on that gag again. Kevin: I think it was a pretty lazy script in general. The story kind of wandered about. It seemed to me that, whenever they got lost, they'd move into another mode. Tired of the jungle comedy? Cut back to Hollywood for some industry satire. That not working? Forget about the fact that none of these actors have real guns - let's just change gears and go into action mode. It started to wear thin, after awhile. Kevin: And it also put a lot of burden on the actors. I don't think Ben Stiller is funny at all, but there was just enough talent in the supporting cast to keep him afloat. I'm not normally a fan, but Jack Black was pretty funny. And Robert Downey, Jr. was downright hilarious. I just wish that they were working on better material. Mervius: I got some good laughs along the way, too, but the idea of a fat, bald Tom Cruise spewing profanity after profanity wore me out, and unfortunately I think encapsulates what the filmmakers did wrong throughout. Mervius & Kevin weather Tropic Thunder

Mervius: "If I admit I liked your Hulk movie, would you get back in the helicopter?"
Kevin: "Can we go to that restaurant I like?"

"What do you mean, you people?!"
Mervius: Kevin, I heard that Robert Downey Jr. and Tom Cruise are in this movie. I hope they show up soon.
Kevin: Uh, Merv, you've been watching them for the past half hour. Under all that make-up. See?

Mervius: Man oh man, Robert Downey Jr. - playing a white man playing a black man - really disappears into the role.
Kevin: ...the role of a man who really disappears into his role.
Mervius: That's got to cause some kind of a feedback loop from which an actor might never return!

Mervius: I miss the version of Ben Stiller who gave us "The Ben Stiller Show" and the hilarious Flirting with Disaster, back in the days when he had to work to get laughs.
Kevin: I don't even miss that Ben Stiller.
Mervius: I think that ever since he discovered that low-brow stuff like Zoolander and Dodgeball have an audience, he's been coasting in neutral. Or maybe he's found a "dumb" on the gear shift. But I guess, to be fair, he's at least trying to go deeper this time around, attempting satire beneath the shtick.

Mervius: Kevin, in my mind, that ending tries to celebrate the movie's goodness, but only underscores the question of who the joke is on - Hollywood's crappy movies, or the audiences who eat them up.
Kevin: Any time I see a big-name celebrity dancing for no good reason, I question a movie's validity. That gag was not as funny as they wanted it to be - it kind of put an appropriate period on the end of the whole uneven affair.

Kevin: I think the main reason it didn't flow is because Ben Stiller's brand of stupid-funny doesn't lend itself well to a more intelligent genre like satire. A lot of the gags are more high-concept, and they're sort of funny in their own right, but the filmmakers never let them go anywhere or break out of the idea stage.
Mervius: You're right about it being uneven - satire, farce, over-the-top goofiness - all against a backdrop of a sweaty, dirty, dangerous jungle. It's a movie at war with itself.

Mervius: And I think Stiller shows his insecurity by always getting in our faces. Too much of the humor is what I call stunt comedy - not in the literal sense of the word "stunt," of course. Stiller goes for too many easy gags, the kind that are funny because you'll be talking about 'em the next day, not the other way around.

Kevin: You're right, although, I will admit, the movie did provide me with a decent amount of laughs.
Mervius: Oh, me too. I went into this thinking it would be a one-joke farce. Instead it's got a dozen or so hilarious jokes.
Kevin: But a lot of it does seem to be built around single jokes, repeated again and again.
Mervius: It's like each of the leads had their own tailored joke, and anytime the script falters, it would point at one of those guys and tell him to riff on that gag again.

Kevin: I think it was a pretty lazy script in general. The story kind of wandered about. It seemed to me that, whenever they got lost, they'd move into another mode. Tired of the jungle comedy? Cut back to Hollywood for some industry satire. That not working? Forget about the fact that none of these actors have real guns - let's just change gears and go into action mode. It started to wear thin, after awhile.

Kevin: And it also put a lot of burden on the actors. I don't think Ben Stiller is funny at all, but there was just enough talent in the supporting cast to keep him afloat. I'm not normally a fan, but Jack Black was pretty funny. And Robert Downey, Jr. was downright hilarious. I just wish that they were working on better material.
Mervius: I got some good laughs along the way, too, but the idea of a fat, bald Tom Cruise spewing profanity after profanity wore me out, and unfortunately I think encapsulates what the filmmakers did wrong throughout.]]> Mervius & Kevin review Baby Mama http://movies-schmovies.com/comic.php?x=10 http://movies-schmovies.com/comic.php?x=10 Sun, 10 Aug 2008 01:21:56 -0000 <a href="http://movies-schmovies.com/comic.php?x=10">Mervius & Kevin review Baby Mama</a> Kevin: "I think I see a blue-footed booby." Mervius: "That's one more for exotic bird bingo!" Mervius: Kevin, it's a little hard to believe that this intelligent and successful woman played by Tina Fey would so willingly accept as a surrogate mother such a hare-brained, uneducated loudmouth like Amy Poehler's character. Kevin: She's going to massage Amy Poehler's what?! Mervius: I'll tell you when you're older, Kevin. Mervius: Man, Amy Poehler, what a nut! Don't you just love her? Kevin: Actually...no, no, I don't. Mervius: What?! She cracks me up. I've always liked her on "Saturday Night Live," and the small parts she's had in feature films have usually made me laugh. I think she's cute too, but maybe that's just because I by default am attracted to the silly women. Kevin: What?! Cute?! Are you nuts? I find her absolutely irritating. She only plays one character - clueless, white-trash, malapropism-dropping idiot - and doesn't even play it well! Mervius: You know what? I don't love the movie, but I think it's halfway solid. It's almost exactly what I expected from seeing the trailers and TV spots. Kevin: It certainly wasn't terrible, but I was disappointed. I hate to see the intelligent Tina Fey, who out-cutes Amy Poehler by leaps and bounds, wasted on material like this. Mervius: I think Tina too is funny as all get-out, but I'm not sure I'd say the material is a waste. I know she didn't write this one, but I think Baby Mama compares favorably with Mean Girls in a lot of ways. Of course, keep in mind, I wasn't in love with Mean Girls. Mervius: Hm, you know, this movie was a little bit like Forgetting Sarah Marshall, in how there's one central relationship and two significant others branching off, making an interesting foursome. Unfortunately that one made us like the extra two, this one doesn't really. Kevin: I can't believe I'm about to say this, but Forgetting Sarah Marshall was also more intelligent. Mervius: Well... yes and no. I call it a draw. Sarah Marshall is kinda sloppy, but pulls it together in the end, while Baby Mama is the opposite of that, staying on target with the humor but sorta wandering around for a resolution in the third act. Kevin: I know. Those last 15 minutes or so were rough - I hate it when movies cast aside characters, logic, and motivation in what seems to be a groping effort to find that elusive, picture-perfect Hollywood ending. But I'm not sure that a lot of this movie's humor was exactly logical or organic. Kevin: I'll take the talky-funny verbal humor of Forgetting Sarah Marshall over this kind of humor any day of the week. I want to see more of Tina Fey, but I certainly hope she can find something a little more cohesive than this. She deserves it. Mervius: With "30 Rock" and now this, I think Tina is in full launch mode. My worry is that the older veterans that show up in this one - Steve Martin and Sigourney Weaver, with their small and unimportant parts - may serve as examples of what may come to Tina and Amy in 10 or 20 years. But for now, I think they've got momentum on their side. Mervius & Kevin review Baby Mama

Kevin: "I think I see a blue-footed booby."
Mervius: "That's one more for exotic bird bingo!"

Mervius: Kevin, it's a little hard to believe that this intelligent and successful woman played by Tina Fey would so willingly accept as a surrogate mother such a hare-brained, uneducated loudmouth like Amy Poehler's character.

Kevin: She's going to massage Amy Poehler's what?!
Mervius: I'll tell you when you're older, Kevin.

Mervius: Man, Amy Poehler, what a nut! Don't you just love her?
Kevin: Actually...no, no, I don't.
Mervius: What?! She cracks me up. I've always liked her on "Saturday Night Live," and the small parts she's had in feature films have usually made me laugh. I think she's cute too, but maybe that's just because I by default am attracted to the silly women.
Kevin: What?! Cute?! Are you nuts? I find her absolutely irritating. She only plays one character - clueless, white-trash, malapropism-dropping idiot - and doesn't even play it well!

Mervius: You know what? I don't love the movie, but I think it's halfway solid. It's almost exactly what I expected from seeing the trailers and TV spots.

Kevin: It certainly wasn't terrible, but I was disappointed. I hate to see the intelligent Tina Fey, who out-cutes Amy Poehler by leaps and bounds, wasted on material like this.
Mervius: I think Tina too is funny as all get-out, but I'm not sure I'd say the material is a waste. I know she didn't write this one, but I think Baby Mama compares favorably with Mean Girls in a lot of ways. Of course, keep in mind, I wasn't in love with Mean Girls.

Mervius: Hm, you know, this movie was a little bit like Forgetting Sarah Marshall, in how there's one central relationship and two significant others branching off, making an interesting foursome. Unfortunately that one made us like the extra two, this one doesn't really.

Kevin: I can't believe I'm about to say this, but Forgetting Sarah Marshall was also more intelligent.
Mervius: Well... yes and no. I call it a draw. Sarah Marshall is kinda sloppy, but pulls it together in the end, while Baby Mama is the opposite of that, staying on target with the humor but sorta wandering around for a resolution in the third act.

Kevin: I know. Those last 15 minutes or so were rough - I hate it when movies cast aside characters, logic, and motivation in what seems to be a groping effort to find that elusive, picture-perfect Hollywood ending. But I'm not sure that a lot of this movie's humor was exactly logical or organic.

Kevin: I'll take the talky-funny verbal humor of Forgetting Sarah Marshall over this kind of humor any day of the week. I want to see more of Tina Fey, but I certainly hope she can find something a little more cohesive than this. She deserves it.
Mervius: With "30 Rock" and now this, I think Tina is in full launch mode. My worry is that the older veterans that show up in this one - Steve Martin and Sigourney Weaver, with their small and unimportant parts - may serve as examples of what may come to Tina and Amy in 10 or 20 years. But for now, I think they've got momentum on their side.]]> Mervius & Kevin ride the Pineapple Express http://movies-schmovies.com/comic.php?x=24 http://movies-schmovies.com/comic.php?x=24 Sat, 09 Aug 2008 23:56:26 -0000 <a href="http://movies-schmovies.com/comic.php?x=24">Mervius & Kevin ride the Pineapple Express</a> Mervius: Kevin, what the bejeezus is going on? I thought this was Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 we were seeing. I don't see any pants whatsoever. Kevin: Tell me about it! And I know that they call her Ugly Betty, but jeez... Mervius: Aw, man! Another stoner comedy?! Didn't Cheech and Chong kill these things back in the '80's? I have a sinking feeling this is all going to be something we've seen before, regardless of Judd Apatow's involvement. There's gonna be a lot of drugs, meandering direction, and absolutely no action whatsoev- Kevin: How long is this fight scene gonna go on?! Mervius: Much longer, and it'll beat that crazy fight in They Live! Kevin: Man, these performances are definitely at the top of Franco's and Rogen's respective careers. Mervius: I'd mostly agree. Seth Rogen is as funny as I've come to expect from him. As for Franco, meh, I can take him or leave him, though he's certainly hitting his marks. But you know who I prefer? This Danny McBride guy, as one of the drug dealers, is hilarious. I think he got a bunch of notoriety for starring in The Foot Fist Way, but mark my words, Pineapple Express is the movie that will be credited as his break-out. Kevin: You took the words outta my bubble. I've never seen him before, but I can almost guarantee we're gonna see him again. Mervius: Kevin, that final scene was probably the funniest one, topping off an already hilarious movie. Kevin: You got that right. I was so worried that this was gonna be another Super Troopers. It's nice to be surprised. Kevin: I think that one of the things that sets this movie apart from other stoner comedies is that it takes the conventions of a so-called marijuana movie and turns nearly all of 'em upside-down. It's well-written, neatly structured, and actually has characters that I can relate to, rather than just laugh at. It also jumps across a couple different genres. Mervius: Yeah, a lot of people might expect a Harold & Kumar-style movie. But those movies feel like they were written by someone who was himself high as a kite. Mervius: This is more of a madcap crime comedy, but one that's being viewed through the lazy-hazy lens of a major marijuana high. The script is what you might get if Jerry Seinfeld smoked pot while watching a Steven Segal action flick. Mervius: I wonder if the movie will be criticized for suggesting that the selling of marijuana to teenagers is something to be laughed at. Kevin: I'm sure that some people will find it offensive. But I mean, come on. It's just a movie! And it's a movie that's even using something as serious as death as a vehicle for comedy. How seriously can people take the drug use? Kevin: I think that, if anything, by juxtaposing the violence perpetrated in the film with the drug use, these guys seem to want to show how harmless they think marijuana really is. Compared to the shoot-outs, the car crashes, and the hand-to-hand physical combat, the drug use seems downright innocuous (and altogether hilarious). Kevin: I'm not easily enough offended for the marijuana to be off-putting. I loved the movie. It had great performances, a taut script, and enough moments to keep me laughing out loud all the way through. It's definitely one of the best comedies of the summer - and I'm not just blowing smoke up your- Mervius: Assuming that next week's Tropic Thunder is the one-joke movie it appears to be, I have to agree, Pineapple Express is the one to beat. And it's always great to discover somebody as funny as Danny McBride. I hope he doesn't let us down after this surprisingly good performance. Mervius & Kevin ride the Pineapple Express

Mervius: Kevin, what the bejeezus is going on? I thought this was Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 we were seeing. I don't see any pants whatsoever.
Kevin: Tell me about it! And I know that they call her Ugly Betty, but jeez...

Mervius: Aw, man! Another stoner comedy?! Didn't Cheech and Chong kill these things back in the '80's? I have a sinking feeling this is all going to be something we've seen before, regardless of Judd Apatow's involvement. There's gonna be a lot of drugs, meandering direction, and absolutely no action whatsoev-

Kevin: How long is this fight scene gonna go on?! Mervius: Much longer, and it'll beat that crazy fight in They Live!

Kevin: Man, these performances are definitely at the top of Franco's and Rogen's respective careers.
Mervius: I'd mostly agree. Seth Rogen is as funny as I've come to expect from him. As for Franco, meh, I can take him or leave him, though he's certainly hitting his marks. But you know who I prefer? This Danny McBride guy, as one of the drug dealers, is hilarious. I think he got a bunch of notoriety for starring in The Foot Fist Way, but mark my words, Pineapple Express is the movie that will be credited as his break-out.
Kevin: You took the words outta my bubble. I've never seen him before, but I can almost guarantee we're gonna see him again.

Mervius: Kevin, that final scene was probably the funniest one, topping off an already hilarious movie.
Kevin: You got that right. I was so worried that this was gonna be another Super Troopers. It's nice to be surprised.

Kevin: I think that one of the things that sets this movie apart from other stoner comedies is that it takes the conventions of a so-called marijuana movie and turns nearly all of 'em upside-down. It's well-written, neatly structured, and actually has characters that I can relate to, rather than just laugh at. It also jumps across a couple different genres.
Mervius: Yeah, a lot of people might expect a Harold & Kumar-style movie. But those movies feel like they were written by someone who was himself high as a kite.

Mervius: This is more of a madcap crime comedy, but one that's being viewed through the lazy-hazy lens of a major marijuana high. The script is what you might get if Jerry Seinfeld smoked pot while watching a Steven Segal action flick.

Mervius: I wonder if the movie will be criticized for suggesting that the selling of marijuana to teenagers is something to be laughed at.
Kevin: I'm sure that some people will find it offensive. But I mean, come on. It's just a movie! And it's a movie that's even using something as serious as death as a vehicle for comedy. How seriously can people take the drug use?

Kevin: I think that, if anything, by juxtaposing the violence perpetrated in the film with the drug use, these guys seem to want to show how harmless they think marijuana really is. Compared to the shoot-outs, the car crashes, and the hand-to-hand physical combat, the drug use seems downright innocuous (and altogether hilarious).

Kevin: I'm not easily enough offended for the marijuana to be off-putting. I loved the movie. It had great performances, a taut script, and enough moments to keep me laughing out loud all the way through. It's definitely one of the best comedies of the summer - and I'm not just blowing smoke up your-
Mervius: Assuming that next week's Tropic Thunder is the one-joke movie it appears to be, I have to agree, Pineapple Express is the one to beat. And it's always great to discover somebody as funny as Danny McBride. I hope he doesn't let us down after this surprisingly good performance.]]> Mervius & Kevin review Swing Vote http://movies-schmovies.com/comic.php?x=23 http://movies-schmovies.com/comic.php?x=23 Sat, 09 Aug 2008 19:34:26 -0000 <a href="http://movies-schmovies.com/comic.php?x=23">Mervius & Kevin review Swing Vote</a> Mervius: "Finally, here's a letter that doesn't ask you to quit acting! They want you to make a sequel, Dances With Wolves 2 The Streets." Mervius: Kevin, this is obviously a pretty topical movie, coming out as it does months before probably the most interesting U.S. election in our lifetimes so far. Kevin: I know this is played for laughs, of course, but I hope our real-life candidates don't flip, flop, and pander as much as these guys do. Mervius: Hey, wait a second! Five minutes ago these candidates were over-the-top goofballs, pandering shamelessly and publicly to a single redneck, campaign platforms be damned. Kevin: Now all of a sudden they're perfect idealists? When did that happen? Mervius: Oh, jeez, here we go, I feel a cliche coming on. And... there it is! The get-things-done montage! Kevin: Montages do not fix everything! Mervius: Kevin Costner's character Bud has been pretty worthless so far - a drunk, a deadbeat dad, a clueless citizen. And now here he is, getting to turn it all around abruptly in the name of sentimental Hollywood "hope" schmaltz. Kevin: I'm all for a good message, but nowhere in this movie was that growth possible in the character of Bud. And now, because the movie has to end, all of a sudden he's filled with wisdom? Gimme a break. Mervius: Well, I have some problems with the movie, Kevin, but I solidly approve of the message. The end there was very good - I just wish acts 1 and 2 had been as good. Kevin: I liked the ending, too. It managed to keep the focus on the characters. In fact, I think that's one thing the movie does pretty consistently. These filmmakers come close, but they never quite let the gimmick of the story overshadow the father-daughter relationship at its center. Mervius: I liked the family message too. I kept wanting Bud to pull it together, if only for the purpose of providing a better quality of life for his daughter. But I think the story meanders awkwardly away from that aspect too often. Mervius: In fact, I think the story tries to do too many things at once, and that might be the main problem I have with it. It wants to be a father-daughter drama, but it also tries to be a political fable, and it wants to be gritty and realistic, but still funny as well. All the various elements are struggling for elbow room rather than combining organically. Kevin: I will admit, I found a lot of the humor uneven. It seems like, right up until the end, Kevin Costner was making fun of Bud, not actually playing a character. Mervius: I agree with that. It seems to me as though this was developed as a one-joke comedy, but then when Costner became involved, it all shifted towards the kind of drama he's more comfortable with. That may have been a good move, all things considered, but preserving the joke in that shift gives it all an odd spin. Kevin: It might not even be a bad joke, neccessarily. I guess I just found the premise so improbable that I was almost distracted by it. They seem to be in such a rush to explain away all that electoral college stuff, and get to the supposedly funny moments, that I wish they would have spent a bit more time explaining how such unlikely circumstances actually came into being, despite the real-world rules that are standing in the way. Kevin: I suppose I can't totally write it off. The excellent performance by the young Madeline Carroll as the daughter is surely a highlight. I think we can expect some bright things from her in the future. As for the rest of the movie, I didn't find it as bad as its setup would make it seem, but it really didn't do a lot for me. Mervius: I think it was worth seeing once. Uneven and not all that funny, it ends solidly. And I agree, Madeline Carroll is the stand-out, not just among the cast, but among the elements that are otherwise struggling for control. Mervius & Kevin review Swing Vote

Mervius: "Finally, here's a letter that doesn't ask you to quit acting! They want you to make a sequel, Dances With Wolves 2 The Streets."

Mervius: Kevin, this is obviously a pretty topical movie, coming out as it does months before probably the most interesting U.S. election in our lifetimes so far.
Kevin: I know this is played for laughs, of course, but I hope our real-life candidates don't flip, flop, and pander as much as these guys do.

Mervius: Hey, wait a second! Five minutes ago these candidates were over-the-top goofballs, pandering shamelessly and publicly to a single redneck, campaign platforms be damned.
Kevin: Now all of a sudden they're perfect idealists? When did that happen?

Mervius: Oh, jeez, here we go, I feel a cliche coming on. And... there it is! The get-things-done montage!
Kevin: Montages do not fix everything!
Mervius: Kevin Costner's character Bud has been pretty worthless so far - a drunk, a deadbeat dad, a clueless citizen. And now here he is, getting to turn it all around abruptly in the name of sentimental Hollywood "hope" schmaltz.
Kevin: I'm all for a good message, but nowhere in this movie was that growth possible in the character of Bud. And now, because the movie has to end, all of a sudden he's filled with wisdom? Gimme a break.

Mervius: Well, I have some problems with the movie, Kevin, but I solidly approve of the message. The end there was very good - I just wish acts 1 and 2 had been as good.

Kevin: I liked the ending, too. It managed to keep the focus on the characters. In fact, I think that's one thing the movie does pretty consistently. These filmmakers come close, but they never quite let the gimmick of the story overshadow the father-daughter relationship at its center.
Mervius: I liked the family message too. I kept wanting Bud to pull it together, if only for the purpose of providing a better quality of life for his daughter. But I think the story meanders awkwardly away from that aspect too often.

Mervius: In fact, I think the story tries to do too many things at once, and that might be the main problem I have with it. It wants to be a father-daughter drama, but it also tries to be a political fable, and it wants to be gritty and realistic, but still funny as well. All the various elements are struggling for elbow room rather than combining organically.

Kevin: I will admit, I found a lot of the humor uneven. It seems like, right up until the end, Kevin Costner was making fun of Bud, not actually playing a character.
Mervius: I agree with that. It seems to me as though this was developed as a one-joke comedy, but then when Costner became involved, it all shifted towards the kind of drama he's more comfortable with. That may have been a good move, all things considered, but preserving the joke in that shift gives it all an odd spin.

Kevin: It might not even be a bad joke, neccessarily. I guess I just found the premise so improbable that I was almost distracted by it. They seem to be in such a rush to explain away all that electoral college stuff, and get to the supposedly funny moments, that I wish they would have spent a bit more time explaining how such unlikely circumstances actually came into being, despite the real-world rules that are standing in the way.

Kevin: I suppose I can't totally write it off. The excellent performance by the young Madeline Carroll as the daughter is surely a highlight. I think we can expect some bright things from her in the future. As for the rest of the movie, I didn't find it as bad as its setup would make it seem, but it really didn't do a lot for me.
Mervius: I think it was worth seeing once. Uneven and not all that funny, it ends solidly. And I agree, Madeline Carroll is the stand-out, not just among the cast, but among the elements that are otherwise struggling for control.]]> Mervius & Kevin review Step Brothers http://movies-schmovies.com/comic.php?x=22 http://movies-schmovies.com/comic.php?x=22 Sat, 02 Aug 2008 18:20:06 -0000 <a href="http://movies-schmovies.com/comic.php?x=22">Mervius & Kevin review Step Brothers</a> Mervius: Hey, wait a minute! This isn't in the movie! (Sorry, postmodern comment; do not overthink.) Kevin: Maybe it's the alternate Thelma & Louise ending. Kevin: You know Merv, this is kinda bizarre. The other Adam McKay/Will Ferrell collaborations have all been rated PG-13. And now, after the R-rated Semi-Pro, we have this. It's unbelievably profane. Maybe they're assuming that their audiences are getting older? At least there's not any nudity. That would be too much to - Mervius: Hey, no! I really, really hope that's a prosthetic, and not actually a part of Will Ferrell. Kevin: I really, really hope that someone's gonna sanitize that drum kit. Kevin: For Pete's sake! I'd much rather see Mary Steenburgen naked! Mervius: Will Ferrell is once again up to his strange guy shtick shenanigans. And I think the shtick still kinda works, or it would with the right material - Anchorman, for example, really worked for me. Then there's John C. Reilly - I think he comes across, in this movie, as a scary sociopath. I like the guy as an actor, but this kind of comedy isn't his thing. (By the way, rent Melvin and Howard for some nude Mary Steenburgen.) Kevin: I think that, as frighteningly weird as John C. Reilly is, he's still better than a lot of the other actors. He deserves better material than this. As for Will Ferrell, I could care less. My interest in him peaked right around Old School. There's too much Will Ferrell in these Will Ferrell movies, in my opinion. Mervius: Well, tedious as this movie got, I think it outright broke around the time the story dictated that these guys would try to kill each other. Give me a break. From that point on, I was hoping for that Thelma & Louise ending you mentioned. Kevin: That played out like a feature-length version of an SNL skit. Mervius: More like a single joke stretched out that long. It reminds me of a couple other one-joke movies that I found almost unbearable - Bad Santa and Death to Smoochy. Kevin: I will NOT have you besmirch the misunderstood genius of Death to Smoochy in my presence! What about, say, Groundhog Day? That movie's setup is basically one joke. Mervius: I'm not saying that a one-joke movie can't work. But in this case, the joke is so raw that I think you'd have to have the memory problem of that guy in Memento in order to keep appreciating the minor variations on, Oh look it's a couple adults behaving like children. Kevin: You've got a point. Even the other jokes felt stale and recycled. Seeing an out-of-shape guy walk around in his underwear might be funny the first time you see it, but certainly not the fortieth time. Mervius: I think such low sight gags, combined with the outrageous level of profanity, suggest a general (and arguably appropriate) lack of confidence in the humor, on the part of the filmmakers. Kevin: Even the parts that were intentionally dumb - which I guess is the entire movie, basically - never cross far enough into the realm of absurdity or creative stupidity for us to know that they know that they're being stupid. Mervius: It's as though a 12-year-old wrote this movie. That's nowhere more apparent than in scenes where adult professionals behave nothing like professionals. Kevin: I think that, like their onscreen counterparts, the entire "creative force" behind this movie could stand to do some serious growing up. I'm all for stupid humor, but what I can't stand is the same tired, old gags being repeated again and again. Those stupid lame jokes made up this entire movie. Mervius: I wish the movie were indeed "made up." But no, we sat in this theater and can now testify that it exists. After Semi-Pro and now Step Brothers, Will Ferrell has some apologizing to do before he gets back in my good graces. Mervius & Kevin review Step Brothers

Mervius: Hey, wait a minute! This isn't in the movie! (Sorry, postmodern comment; do not overthink.)
Kevin: Maybe it's the alternate Thelma & Louise ending.

Kevin: You know Merv, this is kinda bizarre. The other Adam McKay/Will Ferrell collaborations have all been rated PG-13. And now, after the R-rated Semi-Pro, we have this. It's unbelievably profane. Maybe they're assuming that their audiences are getting older? At least there's not any nudity. That would be too much to -

Mervius: Hey, no! I really, really hope that's a prosthetic, and not actually a part of Will Ferrell.
Kevin: I really, really hope that someone's gonna sanitize that drum kit.

Kevin: For Pete's sake! I'd much rather see Mary Steenburgen naked!
Mervius: Will Ferrell is once again up to his strange guy shtick shenanigans. And I think the shtick still kinda works, or it would with the right material - Anchorman, for example, really worked for me. Then there's John C. Reilly - I think he comes across, in this movie, as a scary sociopath. I like the guy as an actor, but this kind of comedy isn't his thing. (By the way, rent Melvin and Howard for some nude Mary Steenburgen.)
Kevin: I think that, as frighteningly weird as John C. Reilly is, he's still better than a lot of the other actors. He deserves better material than this. As for Will Ferrell, I could care less. My interest in him peaked right around Old School. There's too much Will Ferrell in these Will Ferrell movies, in my opinion.

Mervius: Well, tedious as this movie got, I think it outright broke around the time the story dictated that these guys would try to kill each other. Give me a break. From that point on, I was hoping for that Thelma & Louise ending you mentioned.

Kevin: That played out like a feature-length version of an SNL skit.
Mervius: More like a single joke stretched out that long. It reminds me of a couple other one-joke movies that I found almost unbearable - Bad Santa and Death to Smoochy.
Kevin: I will NOT have you besmirch the misunderstood genius of Death to Smoochy in my presence! What about, say, Groundhog Day? That movie's setup is basically one joke.

Mervius: I'm not saying that a one-joke movie can't work. But in this case, the joke is so raw that I think you'd have to have the memory problem of that guy in Memento in order to keep appreciating the minor variations on, Oh look it's a couple adults behaving like children.

Kevin: You've got a point. Even the other jokes felt stale and recycled. Seeing an out-of-shape guy walk around in his underwear might be funny the first time you see it, but certainly not the fortieth time.
Mervius: I think such low sight gags, combined with the outrageous level of profanity, suggest a general (and arguably appropriate) lack of confidence in the humor, on the part of the filmmakers.

Kevin: Even the parts that were intentionally dumb - which I guess is the entire movie, basically - never cross far enough into the realm of absurdity or creative stupidity for us to know that they know that they're being stupid.
Mervius: It's as though a 12-year-old wrote this movie. That's nowhere more apparent than in scenes where adult professionals behave nothing like professionals.

Kevin: I think that, like their onscreen counterparts, the entire "creative force" behind this movie could stand to do some serious growing up. I'm all for stupid humor, but what I can't stand is the same tired, old gags being repeated again and again. Those stupid lame jokes made up this entire movie.
Mervius: I wish the movie were indeed "made up." But no, we sat in this theater and can now testify that it exists. After Semi-Pro and now Step Brothers, Will Ferrell has some apologizing to do before he gets back in my good graces.]]> Mervius & Kevin Farley review The Dark Knight http://movies-schmovies.com/comic.php?x=21 http://movies-schmovies.com/comic.php?x=21 Sat, 26 Jul 2008 22:15:28 -0000 <a href="http://movies-schmovies.com/comic.php?x=21">Mervius & Kevin Farley review The Dark Knight</a> Mervius: "Now Brucey, I hope you're not riding that bike in the house again!" Kevin: "Aw, ma, come on! I promise I'll be real careful." "Why so serious?" Mervius: Kevin, I wonder if Heath Ledger's death will impact the reception of The Dark Knight. I'd hate for that to somehow take away from honest appreciation of this film and its virtues. Kevin: Holy crap! I didn't know the Bat Cycle could do that?! Mervius: That's awesome! (I hope everybody stops clapping at that, so I can hear the rest of the movie.) Mervius: I never really thought much of Heath Ledger as an actor till he knocked my socks off in Brokeback Mountain. And now his Joker is incredible! Kevin: Heath is hypnotizing. And he's really creeping me out. Mervius: Something that always bugged me about Nicholson's take on the Joker was that he seemed to making fun of the character, while Heath and Nolan seem to appreciate the character's dynamic importance to the mythology. Kevin: I liked Nicholson's Joker. I think it was the perfect take for what Tim Burton did with this series. Overall, he seemed to be poking a bit of fun at the Batman conventions, whereas this one takes them quite seriously. Mervius: I read a review that complained this movie was "bloated." I think that guy didn't get what Christopher Nolan was up to, putting in a lot of rich layering in the various complicated story threads. Kevin: There's a difference between bloated and richly populated or well-developed. This definitely fell into the latter. Mervius: Like Spider-Man 2, Dark Knight shows us what a good sequel should do. It doesn't just beef up the action trappings, it explores more deeply the psychological issues that go with the territory of anonymously fighting bad guys while wearing a goofy costume. Kevin: I love it. This one definitely goes much deeper and even gives us a peek into the often pitch black souls of these characters. It seems that Nolan is trying to take that "gritty, realistic superhero" thing to a whole new level. Mervius: I can't tell you how relieved I am that Gotham feels more like a real city this time. As much as I loved Batman Begins, it showed potential to lean into using a hyper-stylized backdrop. Instead the filmmakers have put an even more realistic spin on everything in sight, main characters notwithstanding. Kevin: And I think that that realistic environment is mirrored perfectly within the characters and the story itself. Even audience members who "don't like comic book movies" will probably be fine here - it's almost like they took the superhero elements and simply grafted them onto a dark, richly plotted crime story. Mervius: I read somewhere that Christopher Nolan took inspiration for this from Michael Mann's Heat. It's as if he combined Heat with the psychological richness of Batman Begins, and threw in a little of the comic book-style episodic quality of X2: X-Men United. Kevin: I only hope that Nolan gets as much credit for this as he deserves. There are a lot of things that are tragic about Heath Ledger's death, and one sad thing might be that it overshadows Nolan's work. Ledger was great, but he wouldn't have had anything had it not been for Nolan's intelligent, layered script. Thanks to the two of them, I almost found myself sympathizing with The Joker at times. Kevin: I guess, in the end, it really is Heath Ledger's show. I admit I had some minor problems with it - third act denouement, some dangling plot threads, that kinda thing - but I think it's the best movie of the summer, and one of the best of the year. I think I'm gonna be hearing that Joker laugh in my dreams. Mervius: Now that's a Batman. I bet you Heath Ledger earns a posthumous Oscar nomination for this role. Like Daniel Day-Lewis in There Will Be Blood, this performance is equal parts over-the-top and outright delicious. Mervius & Kevin Farley review The Dark Knight

Mervius: "Now Brucey, I hope you're not riding that bike in the house again!"
Kevin: "Aw, ma, come on! I promise I'll be real careful."

"Why so serious?"
Mervius: Kevin, I wonder if Heath Ledger's death will impact the reception of The Dark Knight. I'd hate for that to somehow take away from honest appreciation of this film and its virtues.

Kevin: Holy crap! I didn't know the Bat Cycle could do that?!
Mervius: That's awesome! (I hope everybody stops clapping at that, so I can hear the rest of the movie.)

Mervius: I never really thought much of Heath Ledger as an actor till he knocked my socks off in Brokeback Mountain. And now his Joker is incredible!
Kevin: Heath is hypnotizing. And he's really creeping me out.
Mervius: Something that always bugged me about Nicholson's take on the Joker was that he seemed to making fun of the character, while Heath and Nolan seem to appreciate the character's dynamic importance to the mythology.
Kevin: I liked Nicholson's Joker. I think it was the perfect take for what Tim Burton did with this series. Overall, he seemed to be poking a bit of fun at the Batman conventions, whereas this one takes them quite seriously.

Mervius: I read a review that complained this movie was "bloated." I think that guy didn't get what Christopher Nolan was up to, putting in a lot of rich layering in the various complicated story threads.
Kevin: There's a difference between bloated and richly populated or well-developed. This definitely fell into the latter.

Mervius: Like Spider-Man 2, Dark Knight shows us what a good sequel should do. It doesn't just beef up the action trappings, it explores more deeply the psychological issues that go with the territory of anonymously fighting bad guys while wearing a goofy costume.
Kevin: I love it. This one definitely goes much deeper and even gives us a peek into the often pitch black souls of these characters. It seems that Nolan is trying to take that "gritty, realistic superhero" thing to a whole new level.

Mervius: I can't tell you how relieved I am that Gotham feels more like a real city this time. As much as I loved Batman Begins, it showed potential to lean into using a hyper-stylized backdrop. Instead the filmmakers have put an even more realistic spin on everything in sight, main characters notwithstanding.

Kevin: And I think that that realistic environment is mirrored perfectly within the characters and the story itself. Even audience members who "don't like comic book movies" will probably be fine here - it's almost like they took the superhero elements and simply grafted them onto a dark, richly plotted crime story.
Mervius: I read somewhere that Christopher Nolan took inspiration for this from Michael Mann's Heat. It's as if he combined Heat with the psychological richness of Batman Begins, and threw in a little of the comic book-style episodic quality of X2: X-Men United.

Kevin: I only hope that Nolan gets as much credit for this as he deserves. There are a lot of things that are tragic about Heath Ledger's death, and one sad thing might be that it overshadows Nolan's work. Ledger was great, but he wouldn't have had anything had it not been for Nolan's intelligent, layered script. Thanks to the two of them, I almost found myself sympathizing with The Joker at times.

Kevin: I guess, in the end, it really is Heath Ledger's show. I admit I had some minor problems with it - third act denouement, some dangling plot threads, that kinda thing - but I think it's the best movie of the summer, and one of the best of the year. I think I'm gonna be hearing that Joker laugh in my dreams.
Mervius: Now that's a Batman. I bet you Heath Ledger earns a posthumous Oscar nomination for this role. Like Daniel Day-Lewis in There Will Be Blood, this performance is equal parts over-the-top and outright delicious.]]> Mervius & Kevin Farley review Hellboy II: The Golden Army http://movies-schmovies.com/comic.php?x=20 http://movies-schmovies.com/comic.php?x=20 Sun, 13 Jul 2008 00:17:00 -0000 <a href="http://movies-schmovies.com/comic.php?x=20">Mervius & Kevin Farley review Hellboy II: The Golden Army</a> Mervius: Kevin, there's something about this Abe Sapien character, he just strikes me as really, really intelligent. I can't put my finger on what it is. Kevin: Intelligent?! Nonsense! He strikes me as a pontificating blowhard! Mervius: Ah, yes, the mandatory sequel. Since the first movie made money - and was a critical success besides - we get a Hellboy II. I wonder if this one will appease the fans of the comic book as well as the first one seemed to. But Kevin, I gotta tell ya... Mervius: I just do NOT get this movie. Kevin: Not only do I not get it, I get it less than the first one. Mervius: At least Selma Blair is a cutey pie. Whenever she's on-screen, I have something to look at. Too bad she's not really acting. She mainly just... um... Kevin: Avoids looking at the camera? Mervius: Ha! Yeah, that's it. Ron Perlman is good enough, considering all the prosthetics he's hiding under. And he's a likable actor besides. Still it's clear that he got the role because of his size and unique appearance. Kevin: He's likable, I guess. I just don't know why he's delivering every one-liner with no effect at all. They're not funny, or serious, or dramatic, or even ironic. Mervius: Well, at least it was well-produced. Kevin: And the cast seemed like they were up for what it was trying to do. Mervius: But man, was that uninvolving. Kevin: I couldn't care at all. Kevin: I blame the makeup. I give it some credit for not automatically defaulting to bad CGI, but never once did I believe I was watching a character in a movie. It was always just actors under prosthetics. Mervius: Yeah, the filmmakers did go a little overkill on the creature makeup effects. But I thought they actually did the least where they should have done the most. I'm talking about the main villain - Prince Nuada - and his twin sister. They look like they simply fell into a vat of flour. Mervius: I think makeup effects, especially in a fantasy movie, should be used to transform a character, not simply make an actor look like... an actor wearing a lot of makeup. I tell you, it makes me blue in the face. Kevin: Blue in the...? Anyway, I think the makeup was a problem, but I honestly can't put all the blame there. I think the story was just as guilty. Inventing a new mythological creature every two minutes and cramming it in got pretty distracting. Mervius: I think the lease on Guillermo del Toro's storage facility ran out, and he had to do something quick with all the excess Pan's Labyrinth props that hadn't made it into that movie. Kevin: I think the other thing that bugged me was how it insisted on wearing its idioscyncracies as, like, a badge of honor. Combine that offbeat tone with the strange premise and bizarre humor and it managed to suck all the emotion right out of it. Mervius: I agree, and it sucked any potential awe out of the action sequences. Kevin: I guess it's just overwhelming. Such a strange premise, and such a bizarre blending of genres - it really, really didn't work for me. It's kind of sad, because I absolutely loved some of the production design and the old-school way of doing some of the characters. I wish all that hadn't been wasted on such a stupid script and weird, off-putting tone. Mervius: I suspect the key to getting the Hellboy mythology in general, and this movie in particular, lies somewhere in the sense of humor. I'm willing to believe it's possible there's something I'm somehow overlooking, but I can't recommend something I don't get. Mervius & Kevin Farley review Hellboy II: The Golden Army

Mervius: Kevin, there's something about this Abe Sapien character, he just strikes me as really, really intelligent. I can't put my finger on what it is.
Kevin: Intelligent?! Nonsense! He strikes me as a pontificating blowhard!

Mervius: Ah, yes, the mandatory sequel. Since the first movie made money - and was a critical success besides - we get a Hellboy II. I wonder if this one will appease the fans of the comic book as well as the first one seemed to. But Kevin, I gotta tell ya...

Mervius: I just do NOT get this movie.
Kevin: Not only do I not get it, I get it less than the first one.

Mervius: At least Selma Blair is a cutey pie. Whenever she's on-screen, I have something to look at. Too bad she's not really acting. She mainly just... um...
Kevin: Avoids looking at the camera?
Mervius: Ha! Yeah, that's it. Ron Perlman is good enough, considering all the prosthetics he's hiding under. And he's a likable actor besides. Still it's clear that he got the role because of his size and unique appearance.
Kevin: He's likable, I guess. I just don't know why he's delivering every one-liner with no effect at all. They're not funny, or serious, or dramatic, or even ironic.

Mervius: Well, at least it was well-produced.
Kevin: And the cast seemed like they were up for what it was trying to do.
Mervius: But man, was that uninvolving.
Kevin: I couldn't care at all.

Kevin: I blame the makeup. I give it some credit for not automatically defaulting to bad CGI, but never once did I believe I was watching a character in a movie. It was always just actors under prosthetics.
Mervius: Yeah, the filmmakers did go a little overkill on the creature makeup effects. But I thought they actually did the least where they should have done the most. I'm talking about the main villain - Prince Nuada - and his twin sister. They look like they simply fell into a vat of flour.

Mervius: I think makeup effects, especially in a fantasy movie, should be used to transform a character, not simply make an actor look like... an actor wearing a lot of makeup. I tell you, it makes me blue in the face.

Kevin: Blue in the...? Anyway, I think the makeup was a problem, but I honestly can't put all the blame there. I think the story was just as guilty. Inventing a new mythological creature every two minutes and cramming it in got pretty distracting.
Mervius: I think the lease on Guillermo del Toro's storage facility ran out, and he had to do something quick with all the excess Pan's Labyrinth props that hadn't made it into that movie.

Kevin: I think the other thing that bugged me was how it insisted on wearing its idioscyncracies as, like, a badge of honor. Combine that offbeat tone with the strange premise and bizarre humor and it managed to suck all the emotion right out of it.
Mervius: I agree, and it sucked any potential awe out of the action sequences.

Kevin: I guess it's just overwhelming. Such a strange premise, and such a bizarre blending of genres - it really, really didn't work for me. It's kind of sad, because I absolutely loved some of the production design and the old-school way of doing some of the characters. I wish all that hadn't been wasted on such a stupid script and weird, off-putting tone.
Mervius: I suspect the key to getting the Hellboy mythology in general, and this movie in particular, lies somewhere in the sense of humor. I'm willing to believe it's possible there's something I'm somehow overlooking, but I can't recommend something I don't get.]]> Mervius & Kevin review Kung Fu Panda http://movies-schmovies.com/comic.php?x=15 http://movies-schmovies.com/comic.php?x=15 Sat, 05 Jul 2008 00:47:22 -0000 <a href="http://movies-schmovies.com/comic.php?x=15">Mervius & Kevin review Kung Fu Panda</a> Mervius: "No time to argue! You throw me the whip, I throw you the scroll!" Kevin: What do you think this is, Merv? Indy Panda Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Scroll? Mervius: Kevin, I'm afraid I have no choice as a critic but to dish praise upon Kung Fu Panda. As Confucius said, "Everything has its beauty, but not everyone sees it." Wouldn't it then be my fault if the movie doesn't work for me? Mervius: Whoa! A perfect leg split! That's gotta hurt! Kevin: Hurt so good, you mean. Angelina Jolie's smokin' hot, even as a cartoon tiger! Mervius: Angelina always gets to be sexy-cool these days. Too bad she's under-used here, like most of the big-name secondary players. Kevin: Talk about under-used. Does Jackie Chan have more than two lines here? Mervius: Ah, but I think Dustin Hoffman and Jack Black carry the show. A little bit of Jack Black can go a long way sometimes, but I think he's a good fit here. Kevin: I agree. I do want more of Seth Rogen, though, considering he's got the funniest line in the movie. Mervius: Well, that was pretty good. And I'm glad there were no musical numbers. Kevin: Yes, song and dance sequences would have been not only extraneous, they would've slowed down the pace. Mervius: On the other hand, as good as everything looked, I bet an elaborate number would've been stunning. Kevin: Man, when done right, that computer animation can look beautiful. Even though that was a kids' movie, it looked better than a lot of adult features we've seen. Some scenes were downright breathtaking. Mervius: I love the attention to detail - the movements of eyes, the textures of fur. Computer animation gets better and better. And it gives filmmakers a lot of room to move, especially with dynamic fight sequences where the camera can move anywhere, and do so quickly. Mervius: But that stuff may err on the wrong side at times. Animation acrobatics combined with swift kung fu mayhem can be dizzying. I'm sure younger children often won't know what they're even seeing, it all moves so fast. Kevin: Speaking of moving fast, how about that short run time? Combine that with the goofball sense of humor, and this thing is tailor-made for the younger crowd! Mervius: Yeah, while there are plenty of jokes for movie-goers of all ages, the comedy does kind of skew to the children, with the frequent moments of Looney Tunes'ish exaggerated slapstick. Kevin: The slapstick was a bit grating, I'll admit. But it moves so fast, I found it hard to get annoyed. One other thing that bugged me was the message being sent - accepting yourself is a good moral for a kids' story, but it ain't exactly new, you know? Mervius: Yes, that bit of wisdom certainly goes back as far as Confucius. Kevin: All in all, I liked it. I think the kids will have a blast, and between the great animation and the hilariously random sense of humor, the adults will have more than enough to keep themselves entertained. Mervius: I'd say we agree on this one. I got plenty of laughs, and everything on the screen was easy on the eyes. Mervius & Kevin review Kung Fu Panda

Mervius: "No time to argue! You throw me the whip, I throw you the scroll!"
Kevin: What do you think this is, Merv? Indy Panda Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Scroll?

Mervius: Kevin, I'm afraid I have no choice as a critic but to dish praise upon Kung Fu Panda. As Confucius said, "Everything has its beauty, but not everyone sees it." Wouldn't it then be my fault if the movie doesn't work for me?

Mervius: Whoa! A perfect leg split! That's gotta hurt!
Kevin: Hurt so good, you mean. Angelina Jolie's smokin' hot, even as a cartoon tiger!
Mervius: Angelina always gets to be sexy-cool these days. Too bad she's under-used here, like most of the big-name secondary players.
Kevin: Talk about under-used. Does Jackie Chan have more than two lines here?
Mervius: Ah, but I think Dustin Hoffman and Jack Black carry the show. A little bit of Jack Black can go a long way sometimes, but I think he's a good fit here.
Kevin: I agree. I do want more of Seth Rogen, though, considering he's got the funniest line in the movie.

Mervius: Well, that was pretty good. And I'm glad there were no musical numbers.
Kevin: Yes, song and dance sequences would have been not only extraneous, they would've slowed down the pace.
Mervius: On the other hand, as good as everything looked, I bet an elaborate number would've been stunning.

Kevin: Man, when done right, that computer animation can look beautiful. Even though that was a kids' movie, it looked better than a lot of adult features we've seen. Some scenes were downright breathtaking.
Mervius: I love the attention to detail - the movements of eyes, the textures of fur. Computer animation gets better and better. And it gives filmmakers a lot of room to move, especially with dynamic fight sequences where the camera can move anywhere, and do so quickly.

Mervius: But that stuff may err on the wrong side at times. Animation acrobatics combined with swift kung fu mayhem can be dizzying. I'm sure younger children often won't know what they're even seeing, it all moves so fast.

Kevin: Speaking of moving fast, how about that short run time? Combine that with the goofball sense of humor, and this thing is tailor-made for the younger crowd!
Mervius: Yeah, while there are plenty of jokes for movie-goers of all ages, the comedy does kind of skew to the children, with the frequent moments of Looney Tunes'ish exaggerated slapstick.

Kevin: The slapstick was a bit grating, I'll admit. But it moves so fast, I found it hard to get annoyed. One other thing that bugged me was the message being sent - accepting yourself is a good moral for a kids' story, but it ain't exactly new, you know?
Mervius: Yes, that bit of wisdom certainly goes back as far as Confucius.

Kevin: All in all, I liked it. I think the kids will have a blast, and between the great animation and the hilariously random sense of humor, the adults will have more than enough to keep themselves entertained.
Mervius: I'd say we agree on this one. I got plenty of laughs, and everything on the screen was easy on the eyes.]]> Mervius & Kevin review Hancock http://movies-schmovies.com/comic.php?x=19 http://movies-schmovies.com/comic.php?x=19 Fri, 04 Jul 2008 16:29:10 -0000 <a href="http://movies-schmovies.com/comic.php?x=19">Mervius & Kevin review Hancock</a> Mervius: "So come on down to Wild Willie's World of Wheels, where you can get a fresh deal on hundreds of new and used vehicles." "You deserve better...I will be better." Kevin: You know, as much as this movie seems to be trying, there really isn't too much in the way of plot. Once this initial conceit has been laid out, as far as story arc goes, there really isn't too much in the way of - Kevin: Whoa! Mervius: I did NOT see that plot twist coming! Mervius: Finally, now that I see that the frustrating first half was building to something all along, I'm on board entirely. Kevin: This is playing like a character study of a superhero. Mervius: Yeah, but I think the character study stuff is finally behind us, that the story is actually giving Hancock a character arc. Finally I'm pulling for him to actually do something. I have more to go on than the seemingly arbitrary choice made by Hancock at the beginning to better himself. Kevin: These aren't the worst screen personas I've ever seen, but I don't think any of 'em have enough depth to pull off a character-intensive style like this. None of the drama here is involving me at all! Mervius: Quit looking at me, Kevin. It's nothing. I have allergies, and they affect my eyes... Oh, all right, I admit, I got a little choked up there at the end. Kevin: I found it pretty unremarkable, despite its interesting premise. Mervius: I think the premise is good for about ten minutes' worth of jokes. It stalls for awhile, after that. Kevin: I agree. The humor didn't blend well with the action and the angsty tone. I like the idea of a "real" superhero, but for some reason, they didn't pull it off. Mervius: Hancock's internal struggle did eventually work for me. This guy just isn't having a good time of it at first, having superhero responsibilities but nobody that cares for him on a personal level. Mervius: Kevin, I think you could even say, he's a Legend, in Pursuit of Happyness. (chirp, chirp) Kevin: He's a Bad Boy, too. Mervius: I knew it! You couldn't resist! Kevin: Sorry. But seriously, I do have a problem with a superhero movie that doesn't have a clear villain. The entire second half of the movie had very little dramatic arc, for me. Mervius: I'm okay with what villainy we did get. By the third act, I was way more interested in the love triangle and the growth of two heroes - one super, one not. Kevin: I dunno. At least Jason Bateman was funny. And man, is Charlize Theron easy on the eyes. I guess, for me, the mediocre special effects, the uneven blend of goofball humor and adult profanity, the slow start - it wasn't terrible, but I don't think I need to see it again. Mervius: I don't need to see it again either - I just want to. I'll probably purchase Hancock on DVD. It wasn't at all what I imagined or expected, but it gave me plenty, not the least of which was a moist eye or two. Mervius & Kevin review Hancock

Mervius: "So come on down to Wild Willie's World of Wheels, where you can get a fresh deal on hundreds of new and used vehicles."

"You deserve better...I will be better."

Kevin: You know, as much as this movie seems to be trying, there really isn't too much in the way of plot. Once this initial conceit has been laid out, as far as story arc goes, there really isn't too much in the way of -

Kevin: Whoa!
Mervius: I did NOT see that plot twist coming!

Mervius: Finally, now that I see that the frustrating first half was building to something all along, I'm on board entirely.
Kevin: This is playing like a character study of a superhero.
Mervius: Yeah, but I think the character study stuff is finally behind us, that the story is actually giving Hancock a character arc. Finally I'm pulling for him to actually do something. I have more to go on than the seemingly arbitrary choice made by Hancock at the beginning to better himself.
Kevin: These aren't the worst screen personas I've ever seen, but I don't think any of 'em have enough depth to pull off a character-intensive style like this. None of the drama here is involving me at all!

Mervius: Quit looking at me, Kevin. It's nothing. I have allergies, and they affect my eyes... Oh, all right, I admit, I got a little choked up there at the end.

Kevin: I found it pretty unremarkable, despite its interesting premise.
Mervius: I think the premise is good for about ten minutes' worth of jokes. It stalls for awhile, after that.
Kevin: I agree. The humor didn't blend well with the action and the angsty tone. I like the idea of a "real" superhero, but for some reason, they didn't pull it off.
Mervius: Hancock's internal struggle did eventually work for me. This guy just isn't having a good time of it at first, having superhero responsibilities but nobody that cares for him on a personal level.

Mervius: Kevin, I think you could even say, he's a Legend, in Pursuit of Happyness.

(chirp, chirp)

Kevin: He's a Bad Boy, too.
Mervius: I knew it! You couldn't resist!
Kevin: Sorry. But seriously, I do have a problem with a superhero movie that doesn't have a clear villain. The entire second half of the movie had very little dramatic arc, for me.
Mervius: I'm okay with what villainy we did get. By the third act, I was way more interested in the love triangle and the growth of two heroes - one super, one not.

Kevin: I dunno. At least Jason Bateman was funny. And man, is Charlize Theron easy on the eyes. I guess, for me, the mediocre special effects, the uneven blend of goofball humor and adult profanity, the slow start - it wasn't terrible, but I don't think I need to see it again.
Mervius: I don't need to see it again either - I just want to. I'll probably purchase Hancock on DVD. It wasn't at all what I imagined or expected, but it gave me plenty, not the least of which was a moist eye or two.]]>