Another Gaming Comic - latest additions

Another Gaming Comic - latest additions http://agc.deskslave.org The latest transcribed Another Gaming Comic comics, powered by OhNoRobot.com en-us Mon, 08 Mar 2010 16:42:05 -0000 60 AGC #460 http://agc.deskslave.org/comic_viewer.html?goNumber=460 http://agc.deskslave.org/comic_viewer.html?goNumber=460 Mon, 08 Mar 2010 16:16:48 -0000 <a href="http://agc.deskslave.org/comic_viewer.html?goNumber=460">AGC #460</a> [[The first frame resembles the Star-Wars-Intro scrolling text]] [The last Evil campaign...] Using a partial rubbing from the tablecloth and some educated guesses, Dr Stan had reconstructed a duplicate stat-sheet for Jill's character, Archdeacon Levinson, revealing the Ardeacon's greatest secret - a mod from a Beholder Magazine that granted him 1 hp/round Regeneration, such that he could heal from even lethal wounds as long as he was not finished off with acid. Where Jill expected to make a miraculous comeback if she should be defeated a first time, Stan's quiet dissemination of this information to the other players ensured that her character's first death would be his last. [[The four evil characters are illustrated, with their respective players standing in shadow behind them]] In-game, the sinister quartet started off united in their mission to dethrone the benevolent God-King Amamensis. Ingvar the Invulnerable tanked, Archdeacon Levinson healed, and the devastating duo of Baron Von Schtandholdt and Pyrov the Faceburner laid low all their enemies. [[Now it is the characters in the foreground who are darkened, and the players behind them are highlighted]] While on the surface they worked together, each villain also pursued his own agenda, concealed from his erstwhile allies. Ingvar sought an ancient ritual to become a Vampire, the Archdeacon used religion as a cloak as he expanded his powerful crime syndicate, the Baron searched for a Deck of Many Things to abuse with his divinations, and Pyrov randomly killed peasants for no particular reason. Steele: Each player had their own secret strategy for winning. Joe used a mask and full plate to hide that he was a Drow elf, and was so dedicated to keeping his racial spell-like abilities a surprise for the other players that he nearly died to NPCs, when Levitation could easily have saved him. Dan planned to, well, burn things. Jill, as you've heard, planned to mind-control her way to victory. And Stan, privy to that knowledge, learned a spell that would steal control of a Dominate or Charm. But Stan had pulled something else from the tablecloth, something that should have had nothing to do with the game... AGC #460

[[The first frame resembles the Star-Wars-Intro scrolling text]]
[The last Evil campaign...]
Using a partial rubbing from the tablecloth and some educated guesses, Dr Stan had reconstructed a duplicate stat-sheet for Jill's character, Archdeacon Levinson, revealing the Ardeacon's greatest secret - a mod from a Beholder Magazine that granted him 1 hp/round Regeneration, such that he could heal from even lethal wounds as long as he was not finished off with acid. Where Jill expected to make a miraculous comeback if she should be defeated a first time, Stan's quiet dissemination of this information to the other players ensured that her character's first death would be his last.

[[The four evil characters are illustrated, with their respective players standing in shadow behind them]]
In-game, the sinister quartet started off united in their mission to dethrone the benevolent God-King Amamensis. Ingvar the Invulnerable tanked, Archdeacon Levinson healed, and the devastating duo of Baron Von Schtandholdt and Pyrov the Faceburner laid low all their enemies.

[[Now it is the characters in the foreground who are darkened, and the players behind them are highlighted]]
While on the surface they worked together, each villain also pursued his own agenda, concealed from his erstwhile allies. Ingvar sought an ancient ritual to become a Vampire, the Archdeacon used religion as a cloak as he expanded his powerful crime syndicate, the Baron searched for a Deck of Many Things to abuse with his divinations, and Pyrov randomly killed peasants for no particular reason.

Steele: Each player had their own secret strategy for winning. Joe used a mask and full plate to hide that he was a Drow elf, and was so dedicated to keeping his racial spell-like abilities a surprise for the other players that he nearly died to NPCs, when Levitation could easily have saved him. Dan planned to, well, burn things. Jill, as you've heard, planned to mind-control her way to victory. And Stan, privy to that knowledge, learned a spell that would steal control of a Dominate or Charm. But Stan had pulled something else from the tablecloth, something that should have had nothing to do with the game...]]> AGC #459 http://agc.deskslave.org/comic_viewer.html?goNumber=459 http://agc.deskslave.org/comic_viewer.html?goNumber=459 Mon, 01 Mar 2010 05:28:33 -0000 <a href="http://agc.deskslave.org/comic_viewer.html?goNumber=459">AGC #459</a> [Tensions have risen over Joe hiding the fact that he had read the adventure] Jill: Oooh, Tremor. You're basically a weak earthquake. Tremble in fear! Joe: Whatever, 'Obfuscator'? Your name is just your function! You're one step away from being a fighter named 'Fighter'! Dan: I AM TETSUJIN! Jill: You're a moron! Davros: Guys, guys! You won the fight, there's no need to tear each other down. Joe: We barely won, and the recurring villain that you custom-built and added to the already tough adventure escaped, so we'll have to fight him again. Davros: Look at it this way... you leveled. [GAME SESSION ENDS] [Davros sits at his computer, messaging with Steele over Gmail chat] Davros: They were mildly placated, planning out their new level, but overall it was a fiasco, and I'm afraid that next week when we resume, they'll be back at each other's throats in about five minutes. Steele: Ya, that's pretty rough. It sounds a little like the situation leading up to the old Evil campaign. I had hoped that playing Evil for a while would help them vent their frustrations over a few weeks, after which we could get back to normal. Davros: How exactly is encouraging them to trick and backstab each other supposed to make things better? Steele: I know it sounds weird... Steele: The thing is, in the Evil campaign, everyone knows they're eventually going to start infighting and try to kill each other. Knowing that, and playing the bad guys, somehow causes them to roleplay more and to actually enjoy how obnoxious the other players are being. And since it's expected, and everyone's just biding their time trying to set something up, when somebody does get ganked, instead of being pissed off they can usually appreciate and respect that a worthy opponent really got them. Davros: I can see how that might help 'get out their aggressions', but from what I hear, the last Evil campaign was anything but therapeutic. Steele: True, but back then we were playing with Stan. Davros: Ok, I keep hearing about this, but nobody will talk about it at Jill's house. What did Stan actually DO to Jill? Steele: Quite a lot of things, really. But it started on the very first night of the campaign. When I went to the washroom, he had arranged for somebody to call Jill, pretending to be a telemarketer. Still not sure how he managed to time that... Davros: Actually, your bathroom break is pretty regular. I started timing it in my head, and you average about an hour and thirty-seven minutes from when we sit down. Steele: I see... Anyhow, while Jill was off shouting at the phone, obviously she took her character sheet with her. But Stan pulled out a freakin' charcoal and managed to get a partial rubbing of her character from the imprints her pencil made on the tablecloth. Davros: Her gaming table doesn't have a tablecloth. Steele: Not anymore... AGC #459

[Tensions have risen over Joe hiding the fact that he had read the adventure]
Jill: Oooh, Tremor. You're basically a weak earthquake. Tremble in fear!
Joe: Whatever, 'Obfuscator'? Your name is just your function! You're one step away from being a fighter named 'Fighter'!
Dan: I AM TETSUJIN!
Jill: You're a moron!
Davros: Guys, guys! You won the fight, there's no need to tear each other down.
Joe: We barely won, and the recurring villain that you custom-built and added to the already tough adventure escaped, so we'll have to fight him again.
Davros: Look at it this way... you leveled.
[GAME SESSION ENDS]

[Davros sits at his computer, messaging with Steele over Gmail chat]
Davros: They were mildly placated, planning out their new level, but overall it was a fiasco, and I'm afraid that next week when we resume, they'll be back at each other's throats in about five minutes.
Steele: Ya, that's pretty rough. It sounds a little like the situation leading up to the old Evil campaign. I had hoped that playing Evil for a while would help them vent their frustrations over a few weeks, after which we could get back to normal.
Davros: How exactly is encouraging them to trick and backstab each other supposed to make things better?
Steele: I know it sounds weird...

Steele: The thing is, in the Evil campaign, everyone knows they're eventually going to start infighting and try to kill each other. Knowing that, and playing the bad guys, somehow causes them to roleplay more and to actually enjoy how obnoxious the other players are being. And since it's expected, and everyone's just biding their time trying to set something up, when somebody does get ganked, instead of being pissed off they can usually appreciate and respect that a worthy opponent really got them.
Davros: I can see how that might help 'get out their aggressions', but from what I hear, the last Evil campaign was anything but therapeutic.
Steele: True, but back then we were playing with Stan.
Davros: Ok, I keep hearing about this, but nobody will talk about it at Jill's house. What did Stan actually DO to Jill?

Steele: Quite a lot of things, really. But it started on the very first night of the campaign. When I went to the washroom, he had arranged for somebody to call Jill, pretending to be a telemarketer. Still not sure how he managed to time that...
Davros: Actually, your bathroom break is pretty regular. I started timing it in my head, and you average about an hour and thirty-seven minutes from when we sit down.
Steele: I see... Anyhow, while Jill was off shouting at the phone, obviously she took her character sheet with her. But Stan pulled out a freakin' charcoal and managed to get a partial rubbing of her character from the imprints her pencil made on the tablecloth.
Davros: Her gaming table doesn't have a tablecloth.
Steele: Not anymore...]]> AGC #458 http://agc.deskslave.org/comic_viewer.html?goNumber=458 http://agc.deskslave.org/comic_viewer.html?goNumber=458 Wed, 24 Feb 2010 06:03:34 -0000 <a href="http://agc.deskslave.org/comic_viewer.html?goNumber=458">AGC #458</a> Jill: Joe's read the whole damned module, and he didn't tell us! Dan: What? Laaaaame... Jill: All this time you've been acting like didn't know what was coming, but secretly guiding our group decisions to try and neutralize some of the harder parts of all these CR 7-10 fights. Deep Sky One must be, what, a level 7 adventure? Davros: I know, I know. I really shouldn't have... Jill: Joe! You KNOW that if you've read the adventure it's your DUTY to take a backseat in the roleplaying and adventuring decisions, so the NON-cheaters can enjoy things. Dan: But noooOOOOooo, you have to be a cheater. Joe: Hey, I didn't mess around with that much... Davros: Wait, so you're not pissed that I threw your undermanned level 5 party against a hard level 7 adventure? Dan: No, you're the GM. Jill: We are hardcore, plus our team was built around a brutal combo. We would have just steamrolled a garden-variety level 5 module. Dan: Where's the fun in that? Jill: No, I'm just pissed that the Wizard of Cheese here hid the fact that he'd read the whole thing. He enjoys the strategy and tactics of combat enough that he should have come clean and let us make all the adventuring and roleplaying decisions instead of trying to ruin the game with his foreknowledge. Dan: Hehe, Joe's the Cheez Whiz. Jill: Way back when we met the Riedran Ambassadors and the assassins were hidden in the wall... did that wall happen to have a thin sheet of lead in it? Davros: Technically, yes. Jill: I knew it! Joe actually had me convinced that the warforged weren't shielded from Detect Thoughts, even though that would have meant the Riedran Ambassador WASN'T posessed by a Quori - which would be like the first time in history. He AND one of his aides had Quori spirits, and those were the "two extra minds". Joe you manipulative bastard! Joe: I was concerned that the big assassination scene would... Dan: Cheater! Joe: Oh, big words coming from Nuclear Dan, the guy who once cast about five third level spells more than his daily limit! Davros[thinking]: Wow, all along I was so worried about them being pissed at an "unfair adventure", and they didn't care at all. They like a challenge and they already trust me not to hit them with something they can't handle, or perhaps they just feel there's nothing they can't handle if they make the right moves. Dan: Me? What about the time when you tried to convince Steele that etherialness doesn't go through water. Joe Chaos... more like Joe Cheez Whiz. Joe: I panicked, okay? Besides, Nn... Jill... was practically my accomplice on that one. Jill: What? How dare you blame me for your BS! Joe: You watched it happen and didn't say a thing, if it was a crime then you were Aiding and Abetting. Davros[thinking]: Hmm, while I'm all warm and fuzzy, they are getting ugly... AGC #458

Jill: Joe's read the whole damned module, and he didn't tell us!
Dan: What? Laaaaame...
Jill: All this time you've been acting like didn't know what was coming, but secretly guiding our group decisions to try and neutralize some of the harder parts of all these CR 7-10 fights. Deep Sky One must be, what, a level 7 adventure?
Davros: I know, I know. I really shouldn't have...
Jill: Joe! You KNOW that if you've read the adventure it's your DUTY to take a backseat in the roleplaying and adventuring decisions, so the NON-cheaters can enjoy things.
Dan: But noooOOOOooo, you have to be a cheater.
Joe: Hey, I didn't mess around with that much...

Davros: Wait, so you're not pissed that I threw your undermanned level 5 party against a hard level 7 adventure?
Dan: No, you're the GM.
Jill: We are hardcore, plus our team was built around a brutal combo. We would have just steamrolled a garden-variety level 5 module.
Dan: Where's the fun in that?
Jill: No, I'm just pissed that the Wizard of Cheese here hid the fact that he'd read the whole thing. He enjoys the strategy and tactics of combat enough that he should have come clean and let us make all the adventuring and roleplaying decisions instead of trying to ruin the game with his foreknowledge.
Dan: Hehe, Joe's the Cheez Whiz.

Jill: Way back when we met the Riedran Ambassadors and the assassins were hidden in the wall... did that wall happen to have a thin sheet of lead in it?
Davros: Technically, yes.
Jill: I knew it! Joe actually had me convinced that the warforged weren't shielded from Detect Thoughts, even though that would have meant the Riedran Ambassador WASN'T posessed by a Quori - which would be like the first time in history. He AND one of his aides had Quori spirits, and those were the "two extra minds". Joe you manipulative bastard!
Joe: I was concerned that the big assassination scene would...
Dan: Cheater!
Joe: Oh, big words coming from Nuclear Dan, the guy who once cast about five third level spells more than his daily limit!

Davros[thinking]: Wow, all along I was so worried about them being pissed at an "unfair adventure", and they didn't care at all. They like a challenge and they already trust me not to hit them with something they can't handle, or perhaps they just feel there's nothing they can't handle if they make the right moves.
Dan: Me? What about the time when you tried to convince Steele that etherialness doesn't go through water. Joe Chaos... more like Joe Cheez Whiz.
Joe: I panicked, okay? Besides, Nn... Jill... was practically my accomplice on that one.
Jill: What? How dare you blame me for your BS!
Joe: You watched it happen and didn't say a thing, if it was a crime then you were Aiding and Abetting.
Davros[thinking]: Hmm, while I'm all warm and fuzzy, they are getting ugly...]]> AGC #457 http://agc.deskslave.org/comic_viewer.html?goNumber=457 http://agc.deskslave.org/comic_viewer.html?goNumber=457 Sat, 20 Feb 2010 03:46:31 -0000 <a href="http://agc.deskslave.org/comic_viewer.html?goNumber=457">AGC #457</a> Davros: It appears that the warforged Juggernaut is getting away. Without him (and with the Web spell still blocking escape from the jewelry shop), you three can easily subdue and round up the remaining four thieves. Half of them were nauseated by the stinking cloud anyway. Jill: Wait, the remaining four thieves? Detect Thoughts told me there were five of them, not counting the stupid "immune to mind-affecting spells" Juggernaut... Davros: Well after you bind them and dismiss the cloud, you find that you only have four captives. Dan: Tetsujin will search the back room for a hidden exit. I get... 29. Davros: Despite your good roll, you don't find any other way out, nor do you find the stolen Cold Iron weapons. Jill: They weren't using them? Davros: Once the fight is over, you quickly realize that their swords are just normal masterwork steel, and clearly not the ones that Vincent described. Dan: How did they get out? Jill: It could still be a secret door. Dan: With a DC higher than 29? As if. Jill: It's possible, though that would be very high for a level 5 party. Dan: Then I'll 'take a 20', and come out with 34! Jill: You have +14 Search? Joe: The +5 bonus from his Red Draconic Adaptation really goes a long way. Davros: It does, but you still find nothing. Jill: I didn't think so. I specifically checked the blueprints of both the Atrium and Concourse for any secret doors or weird spaces that could be hidden passages. I can't rule them out entirely, but it makes them a little less likely here... Dan: So how the heck did one of them escape WITH all the stolen thingies? Joe: Well, Davros ruled that Obfuscator could Abrupt Jaunt through walls. Their conjurer must have used the same trick to get out while the Stinking Cloud blocked vision in the back room. Jill: Wait, a conjurer? Who said anything about a conjurer? Joe: I thought I heard he was a conjurer. Davros, didn't you say he was a conjurer? Davros: Umm... Jill: No, he didn't - I would have remembered something like that. Plus, the only spell that we KNOW was cast by one of the thieves is Suggestion, a pretty high level enchantment spell relative to our party level. So there's no reason at all to assume that the one who got away was a conjurer. Joe: I guess I was just wrong then. Anyhow, we should see what Cadric... Jill: You were REALLY surprised by the presence of that Juggernaut, and very afraid of him in a way that you weren't concerned about the Cultist caster in the first encounter of the module, even though he attacked us from an invisibility sphere, with a high challenge rating worth of backup. JOE YOU BASTARD! Joe: Uh-oh... Dan: I don't know what's going on, but I wish I had some popcorn. AGC #457

Davros: It appears that the warforged Juggernaut is getting away. Without him (and with the Web spell still blocking escape from the jewelry shop), you three can easily subdue and round up the remaining four thieves. Half of them were nauseated by the stinking cloud anyway.
Jill: Wait, the remaining four thieves? Detect Thoughts told me there were five of them, not counting the stupid "immune to mind-affecting spells" Juggernaut...
Davros: Well after you bind them and dismiss the cloud, you find that you only have four captives.
Dan: Tetsujin will search the back room for a hidden exit. I get... 29.
Davros: Despite your good roll, you don't find any other way out, nor do you find the stolen Cold Iron weapons.

Jill: They weren't using them?
Davros: Once the fight is over, you quickly realize that their swords are just normal masterwork steel, and clearly not the ones that Vincent described.
Dan: How did they get out?
Jill: It could still be a secret door.
Dan: With a DC higher than 29? As if.
Jill: It's possible, though that would be very high for a level 5 party.
Dan: Then I'll 'take a 20', and come out with 34!
Jill: You have +14 Search?
Joe: The +5 bonus from his Red Draconic Adaptation really goes a long way.
Davros: It does, but you still find nothing.

Jill: I didn't think so. I specifically checked the blueprints of both the Atrium and Concourse for any secret doors or weird spaces that could be hidden passages. I can't rule them out entirely, but it makes them a little less likely here...
Dan: So how the heck did one of them escape WITH all the stolen thingies?
Joe: Well, Davros ruled that Obfuscator could Abrupt Jaunt through walls. Their conjurer must have used the same trick to get out while the Stinking Cloud blocked vision in the back room.
Jill: Wait, a conjurer? Who said anything about a conjurer?
Joe: I thought I heard he was a conjurer. Davros, didn't you say he was a conjurer?
Davros: Umm...

Jill: No, he didn't - I would have remembered something like that. Plus, the only spell that we KNOW was cast by one of the thieves is Suggestion, a pretty high level enchantment spell relative to our party level. So there's no reason at all to assume that the one who got away was a conjurer.
Joe: I guess I was just wrong then. Anyhow, we should see what Cadric...
Jill: You were REALLY surprised by the presence of that Juggernaut, and very afraid of him in a way that you weren't concerned about the Cultist caster in the first encounter of the module, even though he attacked us from an invisibility sphere, with a high challenge rating worth of backup. JOE YOU BASTARD!
Joe: Uh-oh...
Dan: I don't know what's going on, but I wish I had some popcorn.]]> AGC #202 http://agc.deskslave.org/comic_viewer.html?goNumber=202 http://agc.deskslave.org/comic_viewer.html?goNumber=202 Thu, 18 Feb 2010 15:51:37 -0000 <a href="http://agc.deskslave.org/comic_viewer.html?goNumber=202">AGC #202</a> {{Joe's character is near death due to the Mummy Rot curse/disease}} [Make that 5 Constitution, 3 Charisma and 13 failed rolls later...] Dan: Joe, you've been playing Lothar like forever...I want to see what kind of cool backup characters you have waiting. Jill: Or, we could have you raised...if you're that attached to Lothar... Joe: OR, we could stop talking about Lothar as though he were already dead! As long as hit points course through my veins, and as long as a point of Charisma remains in my soul, there is still hope. Dang: change dice. Dang: I've already changed twice... Joe: Then change dice again, dammit! Jill: My, my. The "cunning lawyer," the "diabolical schemer," the "cool analyst" known as Joe Chaos is beginning to show some fire. Could he have developed an emotional attachment to this character of his? Joe: Hey! I've told you before, Lothar is little more than a carefully optimized longsword-delivery-vehicle. Who succeeded remarkably well despite his poor ability score rolls at creation. Dan: Haha, Joe loves his character. Wait, Lothar is guy, right? Joe: You should know after all this time... Dan: Joe loves a man! Dang: What are you, six years old? Steele: Well, Sylvani still has one more casting of Remove Disease left... Joe: Exactly! And after 13 successive failures, the odds of failing to roll eleven or higher a 14th time are almost infinitessimal. Dang: As a math major, I feel compelled to point out that while that holds true if the rolls are examined as a chain of events, the odds of any single event remain unchanged. Which is to say, this die roll still has a 50% chance of success or failure, which is what really counts. Joe: Just roll it. Dang: Are you sure you wouldn't rather... Joe: Roll it! Dang: ...a 10. It's only a 10. Steele: Well..the, erm, the curse is not lifted... Dang: And Lother will die in a matter of hours. Jill: Not yet. Mercutio will expend his spell scroll of Remove Curse, and I'll roll it, thank you. And...19, curse removed. Cure away, Dang. Dang: Wow, you've got it. Done! First try. Joe: I forgot you had that... Jill: You owe me 300 gold for the scroll. Joe: Unquestionably. Dan: So he doesn't die? Aw. Jill: Bow down. Joe: Yes, Ma'am. [GAMING SESSION OVER.] AGC #202

{{Joe's character is near death due to the Mummy Rot curse/disease}}
[Make that 5 Constitution, 3 Charisma and 13 failed rolls later...]
Dan: Joe, you've been playing Lothar like forever...I want to see what kind of cool backup characters you have waiting.
Jill: Or, we could have you raised...if you're that attached to Lothar...
Joe: OR, we could stop talking about Lothar as though he were already dead! As long as hit points course through my veins, and as long as a point of Charisma remains in my soul, there is still hope. Dang: change dice.
Dang: I've already changed twice...
Joe: Then change dice again, dammit!

Jill: My, my. The "cunning lawyer," the "diabolical schemer," the "cool analyst" known as Joe Chaos is beginning to show some fire. Could he have developed an emotional attachment to this character of his?
Joe: Hey! I've told you before, Lothar is little more than a carefully optimized longsword-delivery-vehicle. Who succeeded remarkably well despite his poor ability score rolls at creation.
Dan: Haha, Joe loves his character. Wait, Lothar is guy, right?
Joe: You should know after all this time...
Dan: Joe loves a man!
Dang: What are you, six years old?

Steele: Well, Sylvani still has one more casting of Remove Disease left...
Joe: Exactly! And after 13 successive failures, the odds of failing to roll eleven or higher a 14th time are almost infinitessimal.
Dang: As a math major, I feel compelled to point out that while that holds true if the rolls are examined as a chain of events, the odds of any single event remain unchanged. Which is to say, this die roll still has a 50% chance of success or failure, which is what really counts.
Joe: Just roll it.
Dang: Are you sure you wouldn't rather...
Joe: Roll it!
Dang: ...a 10. It's only a 10.

Steele: Well..the, erm, the curse is not lifted...
Dang: And Lother will die in a matter of hours.
Jill: Not yet. Mercutio will expend his spell scroll of Remove Curse, and I'll roll it, thank you. And...19, curse removed. Cure away, Dang.
Dang: Wow, you've got it. Done! First try.
Joe: I forgot you had that...
Jill: You owe me 300 gold for the scroll.
Joe: Unquestionably.
Dan: So he doesn't die? Aw.
Jill: Bow down.
Joe: Yes, Ma'am.
[GAMING SESSION OVER.]]]> AGC #343 http://agc.deskslave.org/comic_viewer.html?goNumber=343 http://agc.deskslave.org/comic_viewer.html?goNumber=343 Thu, 18 Feb 2010 15:39:52 -0000 <a href="http://agc.deskslave.org/comic_viewer.html?goNumber=343">AGC #343</a> [[The group is converting to 3.5.]] Dan: So we all get to build new characters? Steele: Well yes, if you really want to, but I'd prefer if you all rebuild your existing characters so we can continue the story, using the newer rules. Jill: Oh, no, Mercutio's not going anywhere. I have plans for him, don't you worry. Dan: Who cares! Infernus needs more firepower! Break out the new books! {{Infernus is dead, and Dan should have said Ro-Gayne here.}} Steele: Alright, I have one 3.5 Edition Players' Handbook, and I know Joe has one... Joe: I do...but I didn't know about this, so I didn't bring it. I have all my 3.5 books memorized, but that still leaves three people sharing one book, unless Jill has it... Jill: I don't have it...if I'd been warned I would have bought it. Steele: D'oh, one book? This could go slow. Sorry guys, I didn't realize... Jill (getting up from the table): Well I'm not sharing books with anyone. You boys get started, I'm going upstairs... Dan: What's my new THAC0 as a Level 9 Wizard? Joe: First: there's no THAC0, just Base Attack Bonus. Second: as a spellcaster, it's not that important. Third: you don't want to be a level 9 wizard... Dan: I don't? Joe: You want to go into the "Elemental Savant" Prestige Class. Dan: Ya, well, first: I need to hit things. Second: what's a prestige class? Third: you suck, Joe. [[Jill has returned bearing laptops and discs.]] Jill: Alright, I burned a copy of my DVD full of 3.5 books. I will use one disk on my laptop, and you boys can fight over my old laptop with the other copy. Dan: Wow, this is like 30 books in .pdf format...isn't that illegal? Jill: It's justified in this case, since I'll probably purchase a third of them later this week. Dang: A better question might be: who the heck keeps a spare laptop lying around? Jill: Me! Just build your character, elf-boy. Dan: This spare laptop has a bigger screen than my desktop. AGC #343

[[The group is converting to 3.5.]]
Dan: So we all get to build new characters?
Steele: Well yes, if you really want to, but I'd prefer if you all rebuild your existing characters so we can continue the story, using the newer rules.
Jill: Oh, no, Mercutio's not going anywhere. I have plans for him, don't you worry.
Dan: Who cares! Infernus needs more firepower! Break out the new books!
{{Infernus is dead, and Dan should have said Ro-Gayne here.}}

Steele: Alright, I have one 3.5 Edition Players' Handbook, and I know Joe has one...
Joe: I do...but I didn't know about this, so I didn't bring it. I have all my 3.5 books memorized, but that still leaves three people sharing one book, unless Jill has it...
Jill: I don't have it...if I'd been warned I would have bought it.
Steele: D'oh, one book? This could go slow. Sorry guys, I didn't realize...

Jill (getting up from the table): Well I'm not sharing books with anyone. You boys get started, I'm going upstairs...
Dan: What's my new THAC0 as a Level 9 Wizard?
Joe: First: there's no THAC0, just Base Attack Bonus. Second: as a spellcaster, it's not that important. Third: you don't want to be a level 9 wizard...
Dan: I don't?
Joe: You want to go into the "Elemental Savant" Prestige Class.
Dan: Ya, well, first: I need to hit things. Second: what's a prestige class? Third: you suck, Joe.

[[Jill has returned bearing laptops and discs.]]
Jill: Alright, I burned a copy of my DVD full of 3.5 books. I will use one disk on my laptop, and you boys can fight over my old laptop with the other copy.
Dan: Wow, this is like 30 books in .pdf format...isn't that illegal?
Jill: It's justified in this case, since I'll probably purchase a third of them later this week.
Dang: A better question might be: who the heck keeps a spare laptop lying around?
Jill: Me! Just build your character, elf-boy.
Dan: This spare laptop has a bigger screen than my desktop.]]> AGC #249 http://agc.deskslave.org/comic_viewer.html?goNumber=249 http://agc.deskslave.org/comic_viewer.html?goNumber=249 Thu, 18 Feb 2010 15:37:14 -0000 <a href="http://agc.deskslave.org/comic_viewer.html?goNumber=249">AGC #249</a> Jill: *O' sweet irony...* After years of Joe riding me about my characters' high charisma score: Am i going to milk this... Joe: You charisma was in 2nd EDITION! It actually did NOTHING! PERIOD! In 3.5 they made an effort to revamp the stat, and so IF you have class powers based on it, it DOES actually have a purpose. The only reason my charisma score is so high is that it would be silly and wasteful to have an entire party of clerics without at least one of us being able to Turn undead. Jill: That's right, squirm Charisma-boy. Steele: TWELVE is NOT a HIGH charisma! It's only a +1 modifier for god's sake! Jill: Alright, then what are the charisma modifiers of all the other well-tuned 3.5 clerics around the table? Dang: -2 here. Dan: I have -2! Jill: I too have a charisma modifier of negative two. Don't miss it, either. Dan: I might have higher charisma if we'd gone with randomly rolled stats like the old days. I hate this point system... it's gyppin' me outta 18s. I always roll good. Joe: Please, not THAT again! The point system is not only vastly more fair and balanced, but it enhances the degree of strategy in character creation. Dan: Bah, luck is always on my side for making characters. Give me my 4d6 drop-the-lowest anyday. Joe: Well, i have the worst stat-rolling luck overall, but what about that one character you made... what did you name him? Gimply the Dwarf? Dan: Stupid freakin' dwarves... Jill: You're a dwarf now! Dan: Yeah, but Gimply was a 2nd Ed. dwarf. They Sucked. We 3rd Ed. dwarves must be the result of a multigenerational Eugenics campaign. And dwarf generations last hundreds of years... Dang: Well, I recognize that elves were the "Master Race" in the old system, with all their immunities, their Dex bonus and such, but dwarves weren't so bad. What did you have against them? Dan: I just didn't like their appearance - short fat dudes with beards... like what's cool about that? Dang: Not fat, stocky. Dan: Stocky is just a nice way of saying they're fat. but anyway, the problem wasn't dwarves so much... the problem was Gimply Steele: But I'm stocky... Joe: When Dan rolled up that character, his dice came out so badly that his six stat rolls ran from 12 down to 5. In fact, his numbers were so bad that he couldn't even make a functional caster, so he was stuck being either a bad fighter or an average quality rogue. Steele: And then he committed suicide so that he could reroll and make a new character. Dan: Gimply did NOT commit suicide! He totally failed to disarm that trap because his dex was too low! I'll have you know that his last moments were agonizing and not in any way intentional. Jill: In any case, I think the important thing is that after his years of nagging and statistical snobbery, Joe is now the one with a high charisma score. Joe: At least my charisma blows up undead! Your SECOND EDITION charisma had ZERO statistical impact on anything. Steele: TWELEVE IS NOT A HIGH CHARISMA! Jill: Mercutio's charisma of 15 gave him a +3 modifier to our NPC reaction rolls, which doubtless spared the party a lot of trouble in all roleplaying encounters. Joe: Sure. Assuming that Steele was MAKING die rolls for NPC reactions and not just playing it by ear. Jill: Of course he was... making... rolls... Jill: Steele? Steele: Well, maybe not EVERY time... but I certainly... Jill: STEELE? Steele: I took it into account okay? That's why the wealthy NPCs usually liked Mercutio and snubbed the others! I gave you a lot of credit for your charisma modifier... Jill: *STEELE!* AGC #249

Jill: *O' sweet irony...* After years of Joe riding me about my characters' high charisma score: Am i going to milk this...
Joe: You charisma was in 2nd EDITION! It actually did NOTHING! PERIOD! In 3.5 they made an effort to revamp the stat, and so IF you have class powers based on it, it DOES actually have a purpose. The only reason my charisma score is so high is that it would be silly and wasteful to have an entire party of clerics without at least one of us being able to Turn undead.
Jill: That's right, squirm Charisma-boy.
Steele: TWELVE is NOT a HIGH charisma! It's only a +1 modifier for god's sake!
Jill: Alright, then what are the charisma modifiers of all the other well-tuned 3.5 clerics around the table?
Dang: -2 here.
Dan: I have -2!
Jill: I too have a charisma modifier of negative two. Don't miss it, either.

Dan: I might have higher charisma if we'd gone with randomly rolled stats like the old days. I hate this point system... it's gyppin' me outta 18s. I always roll good.
Joe: Please, not THAT again! The point system is not only vastly more fair and balanced, but it enhances the degree of strategy in character creation.
Dan: Bah, luck is always on my side for making characters. Give me my 4d6 drop-the-lowest anyday.
Joe: Well, i have the worst stat-rolling luck overall, but what about that one character you made... what did you name him? Gimply the Dwarf?
Dan: Stupid freakin' dwarves...
Jill: You're a dwarf now!
Dan: Yeah, but Gimply was a 2nd Ed. dwarf. They Sucked. We 3rd Ed. dwarves must be the result of a multigenerational Eugenics campaign. And dwarf generations last hundreds of years...

Dang: Well, I recognize that elves were the "Master Race" in the old system, with all their immunities, their Dex bonus and such, but dwarves weren't so bad. What did you have against them?
Dan: I just didn't like their appearance - short fat dudes with beards... like what's cool about that?
Dang: Not fat, stocky.
Dan: Stocky is just a nice way of saying they're fat. but anyway, the problem wasn't dwarves so much... the problem was Gimply
Steele: But I'm stocky...
Joe: When Dan rolled up that character, his dice came out so badly that his six stat rolls ran from 12 down to 5. In fact, his numbers were so bad that he couldn't even make a functional caster, so he was stuck being either a bad fighter or an average quality rogue.
Steele: And then he committed suicide so that he could reroll and make a new character.
Dan: Gimply did NOT commit suicide! He totally failed to disarm that trap because his dex was too low! I'll have you know that his last moments were agonizing and not in any way intentional.

Jill: In any case, I think the important thing is that after his years of nagging and statistical snobbery, Joe is now the one with a high charisma score.
Joe: At least my charisma blows up undead! Your SECOND EDITION charisma had ZERO statistical impact on anything.
Steele: TWELEVE IS NOT A HIGH CHARISMA!
Jill: Mercutio's charisma of 15 gave him a +3 modifier to our NPC reaction rolls, which doubtless spared the party a lot of trouble in all roleplaying encounters.
Joe: Sure. Assuming that Steele was MAKING die rolls for NPC reactions and not just playing it by ear.
Jill: Of course he was... making... rolls...

Jill: Steele?
Steele: Well, maybe not EVERY time... but I certainly...
Jill: STEELE?
Steele: I took it into account okay? That's why the wealthy NPCs usually liked Mercutio and snubbed the others! I gave you a lot of credit for your charisma modifier...
Jill: *STEELE!*]]> AGC #248 http://agc.deskslave.org/comic_viewer.html?goNumber=248 http://agc.deskslave.org/comic_viewer.html?goNumber=248 Thu, 18 Feb 2010 15:34:03 -0000 <a href="http://agc.deskslave.org/comic_viewer.html?goNumber=248">AGC #248</a> Steele: Joe, I *know* this is your fault. Joe: So our party is all clerics: Why is it my fault? Steele: Because It's ALWAYS your fault. What's the scheme this time? Did you find some way to abuse the spell Combine with a ring of divine casters? What other spell could you abuse... Joe: I think you are making an unfair characterization... Dang: I don't think that spell exists any more. Steele: Could you have found some broken Domain power that you're all using? Let's see... Hextor, Pelor, Fharlanghn, Obad-Hai... no, you all worship different gods, and there's no one Domain that they all have... Joe: This is criminal profiling, The second something goes wrong, you always blame... Steele: I always blame THE CRIMINAL MASTERMIND! Jill: Joe does have a record... Steele: I don't think it's a dwarf thing... none of you actually worship the dwarves' patron deity, Moradin Joe: Look, Steele, Jill, Dang and I each looked through all the races and compared them, and we each picked the one that had the best combination of stats and racial abilities. Dang: I like Constitution. It's good for you. Dan: I like losing Charisma. Also, it's funny to be a dwarf with no beard. Steele: You know, Charisma is easily TEN TIMES as valuable under 3.5 rules as it was in 2nd Edition. Jill: Ten times zero is still zero. I don't know why you're complaining about Joe though. He's the one with a high Charisma score. Steele: Really? What's your Charisma, Joe? Joe: Twelve. About twice the party average. Dan: My dwarf is like: "AAaarrgh! I burnt off me beard!" Dang: Steele, there's no critical flaw with the Cleric class, it's just a conjunction of desirable properties: Dang: They are a full spellcaster; not as good at blowing things up as a wizard, but they heal damage and cure status effects in ways no wizard could. Dang: They also get full armor, d8 hit dice, and two "good" saves, so they are fairly survivable without using all the fancy tricks a wizard needs to survive. Steele: That is true. Dang: They also get decent weapons and Base Attack, and have access to an array of "buff" spells to give themselves or the whole group bonuses in combat. Dang: So between all these things, you can design different clerics to fulfill a number of different roles. And their Domains give them as many total castings as a specialist wizard, without losing any spell access, plus valuable domain powers. Jill: How the mighty have fallen, Joe. Double-digit Charisma... Dan: My Domain powers let me Turn Fire and Earth elementals, just like i can Turn Undead! Dang: ...Or LESS valuable powers. It really depends which Domains. Dan: Hey, what's wrong with my Fire and Earth domains? Dang: Well, for one thing, we don't fight elementals that often, and even with two of the elemental-turning Domains, you can still only turn half of the basic elementals out there. Dan: So? That's more elementals than YOU can turn! Dang: Secondly, most domains give FAR better powers... Dan: Well, what's so good about your stupid Fharlanghn Domains? Dang: One of them protects me like the spell Free Action, and the other lets me Reroll ANY die roll I make once per day. Dan: ...yeah...well...I like my power! It works on Fire elementals! Dang: Thirdly, the "Turning" mechanic, whether it be turning undead, elementals, or whatever, is based on Charisma. Dan: D'OH! Jill: Joe has Charisma. How the tables have turned... Joe: *SIGH* AGC #248

Steele: Joe, I *know* this is your fault.
Joe: So our party is all clerics: Why is it my fault?
Steele: Because It's ALWAYS your fault. What's the scheme this time? Did you find some way to abuse the spell Combine with a ring of divine casters? What other spell could you abuse...
Joe: I think you are making an unfair characterization...
Dang: I don't think that spell exists any more.
Steele: Could you have found some broken Domain power that you're all using? Let's see... Hextor, Pelor, Fharlanghn, Obad-Hai... no, you all worship different gods, and there's no one Domain that they all have...
Joe: This is criminal profiling, The second something goes wrong, you always blame...
Steele: I always blame THE CRIMINAL MASTERMIND!
Jill: Joe does have a record...

Steele: I don't think it's a dwarf thing... none of you actually worship the dwarves' patron deity, Moradin
Joe: Look, Steele, Jill, Dang and I each looked through all the races and compared them, and we each picked the one that had the best combination of stats and racial abilities.
Dang: I like Constitution. It's good for you.
Dan: I like losing Charisma. Also, it's funny to be a dwarf with no beard.
Steele: You know, Charisma is easily TEN TIMES as valuable under 3.5 rules as it was in 2nd Edition.
Jill: Ten times zero is still zero. I don't know why you're complaining about Joe though. He's the one with a high Charisma score.
Steele: Really? What's your Charisma, Joe?
Joe: Twelve. About twice the party average.
Dan: My dwarf is like: "AAaarrgh! I burnt off me beard!"

Dang: Steele, there's no critical flaw with the Cleric class, it's just a conjunction of desirable properties:
Dang: They are a full spellcaster; not as good at blowing things up as a wizard, but they heal damage and cure status effects in ways no wizard could.
Dang: They also get full armor, d8 hit dice, and two "good" saves, so they are fairly survivable without using all the fancy tricks a wizard needs to survive.
Steele: That is true.
Dang: They also get decent weapons and Base Attack, and have access to an array of "buff" spells to give themselves or the whole group bonuses in combat.
Dang: So between all these things, you can design different clerics to fulfill a number of different roles. And their Domains give them as many total castings as a specialist wizard, without losing any spell access, plus valuable domain powers.
Jill: How the mighty have fallen, Joe. Double-digit Charisma...

Dan: My Domain powers let me Turn Fire and Earth elementals, just like i can Turn Undead!
Dang: ...Or LESS valuable powers. It really depends which Domains.
Dan: Hey, what's wrong with my Fire and Earth domains?
Dang: Well, for one thing, we don't fight elementals that often, and even with two of the elemental-turning Domains, you can still only turn half of the basic elementals out there.
Dan: So? That's more elementals than YOU can turn!
Dang: Secondly, most domains give FAR better powers...
Dan: Well, what's so good about your stupid Fharlanghn Domains?
Dang: One of them protects me like the spell Free Action, and the other lets me Reroll ANY die roll I make once per day.
Dan: ...yeah...well...I like my power! It works on Fire elementals!
Dang: Thirdly, the "Turning" mechanic, whether it be turning undead, elementals, or whatever, is based on Charisma.
Dan: D'OH!
Jill: Joe has Charisma. How the tables have turned...
Joe: *SIGH*]]> AGC #247 http://agc.deskslave.org/comic_viewer.html?goNumber=247 http://agc.deskslave.org/comic_viewer.html?goNumber=247 Thu, 18 Feb 2010 15:31:04 -0000 <a href="http://agc.deskslave.org/comic_viewer.html?goNumber=247">AGC #247</a> [[GAMING SESSION BEGINS]] Dan: Aw, is that all we get? I thought Jill was going to tell us more about her past... Jill: Oh you're gonna "GET IT". One of these days, you're gonna GET IT... Steele: Right, so your team all meet up in the common room of the Inn after a long journey. All of you are powerful and experienced adventurers; monster-fighters and treasure hunters of great renown, and you have come to the land of Tel-Parthia because the King asked for you all by name, and sent his Royal Vizier across 600 miles to seek you out and personally request your assistance in this most serious matter. All you know so far is that it involves an ancient evil entombed within the Cave of the Old Ones... Dan: Lame. Steele: ...the massive reward he had promised... Dan: Better. Steele: ...and the holy artifacts he wants you to safeguard. Dan [Loud]: Woohoo! Double treasure. [[Jill is Fuming]] Steele: It's not "double" treasure - you don't get to keep their sacred stuff. Dan: Sure we don't... of course not... Hehe... Steele: Anyway, that's what your characters knew before you got here. Now it's your turn... Jill, please tell us about your character. Jill: He's a dwarf. That pretty much covers the physical description. His name is Gull Tarak, and his ornate full-plate armor is inscribed with geometric patterns, NOT with the religious symbols of his deity, Hextor. He's a cleric. Steele: A dwarf? Cool. That's a real change of pace for you Jill. Dan: Unless he looks like your husband... Jill: My departed husband was nothing like a dwarf, jackass. Steele: Well I think he sounds like a new roleplaying experience for Jill, although we'll have to chat about your choice to worship an evil god. Dang, what's your first 3.5 Edition character like? Jill: ...well, maybe the +2 bonus to magic saves... Dang: He's also a dwarf. He's about 4 feet 9 inches tall, and almost three feet wide in his armor, like a wall. His face is scarred from many battles, and his mace is chipped from many victories. His name is Barrin Crook-nose, and he's a cleric of Fharlanghn. Steele: Two clerics - you guys should be set for some continuous dungeon-crawling. You'll be able to go a long way before resting. I like the description too, Dang. What about you, Joe? Joe: Ironbeard Blue-Axe. His blade is blue, his full-plate armor is blue, and his face has a sickly palor that contrasts his pitch black braided beard. His holy symbol is of Pelor. Steele: A dwarven Paladin? Joe: No, a cleric. Steele: You're a cleric too? Normally nobody wants to play the healer, what the heck's going on? Is your group going to do enough damage to get through this? It's a really hard dungeon... Joe: We'll manage. Joe: we've all got weapons, and moderate THAC0. We'll be fine. Dang: Not THAC0; Base Attack. This is 3.5, not 2nd ed. Joe: Touche, Dang. Why don't we call it: "The number we use to hit things". Steele: If you say so... but you'd better not all die on the first dungeon level: I hate having to reset the module. Steele: Well, last but not least: Dan, what are you? Human Evoker? Dark-Elf Sorcerer? Half-Dragon Thri-kreen Pyrokineticist? Dan: Nope, you're way off. I'm a cleric of Obad-hai with the Fire domain. My name is Rashar Burnison. I was cast out of the dwarven kingdom after I accidentally burned my beard off - permanent-like. Steele: YOU'RE ALL DWARVEN CLERICS? WHAT THE HECK IS YOUR SCAM! Dang: We each chose the best race, and the best class. Other classes are better at some things, but cleric is best overall. So sue us for being less specialized. Steele: LESS specialized? you're ALL THE SAME! AGC #247

[[GAMING SESSION BEGINS]]
Dan: Aw, is that all we get? I thought Jill was going to tell us more about her past...
Jill: Oh you're gonna "GET IT". One of these days, you're gonna GET IT...
Steele: Right, so your team all meet up in the common room of the Inn after a long journey. All of you are powerful and experienced adventurers; monster-fighters and treasure hunters of great renown, and you have come to the land of Tel-Parthia because the King asked for you all by name, and sent his Royal Vizier across 600 miles to seek you out and personally request your assistance in this most serious matter. All you know so far is that it involves an ancient evil entombed within the Cave of the Old Ones...
Dan: Lame.
Steele: ...the massive reward he had promised...
Dan: Better.
Steele: ...and the holy artifacts he wants you to safeguard.
Dan [Loud]: Woohoo! Double treasure.
[[Jill is Fuming]]

Steele: It's not "double" treasure - you don't get to keep their sacred stuff.
Dan: Sure we don't... of course not... Hehe...
Steele: Anyway, that's what your characters knew before you got here. Now it's your turn... Jill, please tell us about your character.
Jill: He's a dwarf. That pretty much covers the physical description. His name is Gull Tarak, and his ornate full-plate armor is inscribed with geometric patterns, NOT with the religious symbols of his deity, Hextor. He's a cleric.
Steele: A dwarf? Cool. That's a real change of pace for you Jill.
Dan: Unless he looks like your husband...
Jill: My departed husband was nothing like a dwarf, jackass.
Steele: Well I think he sounds like a new roleplaying experience for Jill, although we'll have to chat about your choice to worship an evil god. Dang, what's your first 3.5 Edition character like?
Jill: ...well, maybe the +2 bonus to magic saves...

Dang: He's also a dwarf. He's about 4 feet 9 inches tall, and almost three feet wide in his armor, like a wall. His face is scarred from many battles, and his mace is chipped from many victories. His name is Barrin Crook-nose, and he's a cleric of Fharlanghn.
Steele: Two clerics - you guys should be set for some continuous dungeon-crawling. You'll be able to go a long way before resting. I like the description too, Dang. What about you, Joe?
Joe: Ironbeard Blue-Axe. His blade is blue, his full-plate armor is blue, and his face has a sickly palor that contrasts his pitch black braided beard. His holy symbol is of Pelor.
Steele: A dwarven Paladin?
Joe: No, a cleric.
Steele: You're a cleric too? Normally nobody wants to play the healer, what the heck's going on? Is your group going to do enough damage to get through this? It's a really hard dungeon...
Joe: We'll manage.

Joe: we've all got weapons, and moderate THAC0. We'll be fine.
Dang: Not THAC0; Base Attack. This is 3.5, not 2nd ed.
Joe: Touche, Dang. Why don't we call it: "The number we use to hit things".
Steele: If you say so... but you'd better not all die on the first dungeon level: I hate having to reset the module.
Steele: Well, last but not least: Dan, what are you? Human Evoker? Dark-Elf Sorcerer? Half-Dragon Thri-kreen Pyrokineticist?
Dan: Nope, you're way off. I'm a cleric of Obad-hai with the Fire domain. My name is Rashar Burnison. I was cast out of the dwarven kingdom after I accidentally burned my beard off - permanent-like.
Steele: YOU'RE ALL DWARVEN CLERICS? WHAT THE HECK IS YOUR SCAM!
Dang: We each chose the best race, and the best class. Other classes are better at some things, but cleric is best overall. So sue us for being less specialized.
Steele: LESS specialized? you're ALL THE SAME!]]> AGC #250 http://agc.deskslave.org/comic_viewer.html?goNumber=250 http://agc.deskslave.org/comic_viewer.html?goNumber=250 Wed, 17 Feb 2010 16:59:50 -0000 <a href="http://agc.deskslave.org/comic_viewer.html?goNumber=250">AGC #250</a> [[8 minutes later, the four dwarven clerics enter the Cave of the Old Ones.]] Dan: Finally! I thought that King was NEVER gonna shut up... Dang: The flavor text is there to explain why we are going into this dangerous place, and why he needed powerful adventurers like us, instead of just sending his army. Because it's a module, they have to work harder to give the quest context. Dan: Exactly, it's a module! it's supposed to skip the context and get right to the killing! Steele: It took 5 whole minutes! That's ALL! It would have been even shorter if you had stopped interrupting. Dan: "I, Rashar Burnison, priest of Obad-Hai, could have slain a dozen trolls in that much time!" Jill: Only if they were crammed in a pit and unable to move. Dan: God willing... [[One entirely empty dungeon level later...]] Steele: The stair down twists gently around into the darkness.. Dan: AS IF there wasn't A SINGLE FIGHT on the entire first level! This is the boringest prepackaged adventure EVER! Jill: Stop using made-up words! Dan: Fine, the boringest *module* ever, happy? Jill: How did you graduate college? Dan: I don't remember... Steele: Dan if you'd paid ANY attention to the King's flavour text you'd know that his army cleared the first level of the invading trolls -that was why you passed so many burnmarks from high intensity bonfires in the entry halls. But his troops suffered grievous casulaties at the base of this stariway where they were forced to fight only six or eight abreast. Dang: Dan went to college? Joe: A retreat was ordered. The King told us that according to the last two soldiers out - the only two men who saw what was at the bottom of that stairwell and lived to tell of it - there were only three enemies down there. Three monsters who butchered their army relentlessly, by the dozen, until the commander panicked and pulled out. Dan: Wait! You think these three monsters are still gonna be there, just waiting at the bottom of the staircase days later... Joe: Weeks later. It took the Vizier weeks to locate us and bring us back to the kingdom. Dan: So WEEKS later we think these three will still be sitting there, waiting for us to fireball them? Why didn't the army smoke them out? Joe: The King told us that they tried, but that the complex of tunnels is surprisingly well ventilated with hidden shafts to the surface. Dan: Okay, but when the army tried to smoke them out, that would reveal all the vents; why not just plug or collapse them. Steele: They are scattered all over the impassible mountainside, it would take teams with climbing equipment weeks, IF they kept the bonfires smoking that long. Dang: But Dan... Dan: Why didn't they just tell us all that? Steele[loudly]: The king DID tell you! For FIVE minutes! Jill: Dan, this is D&D. The real villain, the boss, will be in the most remote depths of the underground complex, deciphering some ancient riddle or performing some evil ritual with the holy artifacts. He, she or it would have ordered the three elite monsters to the chamber at the base of the stairs against all comers, period. This is a module. That's how modules work. Dan: Wait, I know a lot about fires, and if they just... Steele: Dan, it's only a module. Do you want to keep pointing out plot-holes, or go kill the three guys who are waiting at the base of the stairs? Dan[loudly]: Oh my god; there were so many plot-holes I forgot about the killing! Chaaaaaarge! AGC #250

[[8 minutes later, the four dwarven clerics enter the Cave of the Old Ones.]]
Dan: Finally! I thought that King was NEVER gonna shut up...
Dang: The flavor text is there to explain why we are going into this dangerous place, and why he needed powerful adventurers like us, instead of just sending his army. Because it's a module, they have to work harder to give the quest context.
Dan: Exactly, it's a module! it's supposed to skip the context and get right to the killing!
Steele: It took 5 whole minutes! That's ALL! It would have been even shorter if you had stopped interrupting.
Dan: "I, Rashar Burnison, priest of Obad-Hai, could have slain a dozen trolls in that much time!"
Jill: Only if they were crammed in a pit and unable to move.
Dan: God willing...

[[One entirely empty dungeon level later...]]
Steele: The stair down twists gently around into the darkness..
Dan: AS IF there wasn't A SINGLE FIGHT on the entire first level! This is the boringest prepackaged adventure EVER!
Jill: Stop using made-up words!
Dan: Fine, the boringest *module* ever, happy?
Jill: How did you graduate college?
Dan: I don't remember...
Steele: Dan if you'd paid ANY attention to the King's flavour text you'd know that his army cleared the first level of the invading trolls -that was why you passed so many burnmarks from high intensity bonfires in the entry halls. But his troops suffered grievous casulaties at the base of this stariway where they were forced to fight only six or eight abreast.
Dang: Dan went to college?

Joe: A retreat was ordered. The King told us that according to the last two soldiers out - the only two men who saw what was at the bottom of that stairwell and lived to tell of it - there were only three enemies down there. Three monsters who butchered their army relentlessly, by the dozen, until the commander panicked and pulled out.
Dan: Wait! You think these three monsters are still gonna be there, just waiting at the bottom of the staircase days later...
Joe: Weeks later. It took the Vizier weeks to locate us and bring us back to the kingdom.
Dan: So WEEKS later we think these three will still be sitting there, waiting for us to fireball them? Why didn't the army smoke them out?
Joe: The King told us that they tried, but that the complex of tunnels is surprisingly well ventilated with hidden shafts to the surface.
Dan: Okay, but when the army tried to smoke them out, that would reveal all the vents; why not just plug or collapse them.
Steele: They are scattered all over the impassible mountainside, it would take teams with climbing equipment weeks, IF they kept the bonfires smoking that long.
Dang: But Dan...

Dan: Why didn't they just tell us all that?
Steele[loudly]: The king DID tell you! For FIVE minutes!
Jill: Dan, this is D&D. The real villain, the boss, will be in the most remote depths of the underground complex, deciphering some ancient riddle or performing some evil ritual with the holy artifacts. He, she or it would have ordered the three elite monsters to the chamber at the base of the stairs against all comers, period. This is a module. That's how modules work.
Dan: Wait, I know a lot about fires, and if they just...
Steele: Dan, it's only a module. Do you want to keep pointing out plot-holes, or go kill the three guys who are waiting at the base of the stairs?
Dan[loudly]: Oh my god; there were so many plot-holes I forgot about the killing! Chaaaaaarge!]]>