Buttersafe - latest additions

Buttersafe - latest additions http://buttersafe.com The latest transcribed Buttersafe comics, powered by OhNoRobot.com en-us Tue, 15 May 2012 18:42:02 -0000 60 The Ol' Flower Pocket http://buttersafe.com/2010/06/17/the-ol-flower-pocket/ http://buttersafe.com/2010/06/17/the-ol-flower-pocket/ Tue, 15 May 2012 18:15:13 -0000 <a href="http://buttersafe.com/2010/06/17/the-ol-flower-pocket/">The Ol' Flower Pocket</a> [[In this comic: The ol' flower pocket]] [[A man in red hands some dirt to a man in brown.]] Man: Would you keep this dirt in your pocket for me? I don't have anywhere to carry it. Man: And this flower seed too? I'd really appreciate it. [[The man stares intently at the other's pocket.]] [[He waters it.]] [[A flower grows.]] {{It?s tried and it?s true / So don?t try to knock it / The eldest of pranks / The ol? Flower Pocket -Alex}} The Ol' Flower Pocket

[[In this comic: The ol' flower pocket]]

[[A man in red hands some dirt to a man in brown.]]
Man: Would you keep this dirt in your pocket for me? I don't have anywhere to carry it.

Man: And this flower seed too? I'd really appreciate it.

[[The man stares intently at the other's pocket.]]

[[He waters it.]]

[[A flower grows.]]

{{It?s tried and it?s true / So don?t try to knock it / The eldest of pranks / The ol? Flower Pocket -Alex}}]]> Family Road Trip http://buttersafe.com/2010/06/15/family-road-trip/ http://buttersafe.com/2010/06/15/family-road-trip/ Tue, 15 May 2012 18:14:37 -0000 <a href="http://buttersafe.com/2010/06/15/family-road-trip/">Family Road Trip</a> [[A father is driving his kids, a girl and a boy, in his car]] Father: Family Road Trip!! [[The kids cheer with glee]] Kids: Yay!! Father: ...to the supermarket!! [[The car pulls up to a supermarket]] [[The kids suddenly look stunned and terribly disappointed]] Soon [[Back home at the kitchen table, which has a bag of groceries on it, the disappointed kids stare at plates on the table in front of them which bear an apple and a broccoli stalk, respectively.]] Father: You better eat your souvenirs!! Family Road Trip

[[A father is driving his kids, a girl and a boy, in his car]]
Father: Family Road Trip!!

[[The kids cheer with glee]]
Kids: Yay!!

Father: ...to the supermarket!!
[[The car pulls up to a supermarket]]

[[The kids suddenly look stunned and terribly disappointed]]

Soon
[[Back home at the kitchen table, which has a bag of groceries on it, the disappointed kids stare at plates on the table in front of them which bear an apple and a broccoli stalk, respectively.]]
Father: You better eat your souvenirs!!]]> The Prognosis http://buttersafe.com/2010/02/25/the-prognosis/ http://buttersafe.com/2010/02/25/the-prognosis/ Tue, 15 May 2012 18:12:57 -0000 <a href="http://buttersafe.com/2010/02/25/the-prognosis/">The Prognosis</a> [[Man is lying on hospital bed with a smile]] Doctor: I'm sorry Mr. Murphie. You're going to die. [[Man is still smiling]] [[Man looks surprised/scared]] Doctor: Forever. The Prognosis

[[Man is lying on hospital bed with a smile]]
Doctor: I'm sorry Mr. Murphie. You're going to die.

[[Man is still smiling]]

[[Man looks surprised/scared]]
Doctor: Forever.]]> Ben Franklin at the Dentist http://buttersafe.com/2010/02/23/ben-franklin-at-the-dentist/ http://buttersafe.com/2010/02/23/ben-franklin-at-the-dentist/ Tue, 15 May 2012 18:12:40 -0000 <a href="http://buttersafe.com/2010/02/23/ben-franklin-at-the-dentist/">Ben Franklin at the Dentist</a> [[Ben Franklin at the dentist]] Dentist: tell me, Mr. Franklin, what's been making your teeth so sensitive? Pause Ben: Lightning. Ben Franklin at the Dentist

[[Ben Franklin at the dentist]]

Dentist: tell me, Mr. Franklin, what's been making your teeth so sensitive?

Pause

Ben: Lightning.]]> The Guy Who Could Fart Through His Nose http://buttersafe.com/2010/01/05/the-guy-who-could-fart-through-his-nose/ http://buttersafe.com/2010/01/05/the-guy-who-could-fart-through-his-nose/ Tue, 15 May 2012 18:11:46 -0000 <a href="http://buttersafe.com/2010/01/05/the-guy-who-could-fart-through-his-nose/">The Guy Who Could Fart Through His Nose</a> Bald guy: <<sniff sniff>> [[Bald guy is motionless]] Panel of text: THE GUY WHO COULD FART THROUGH HIS NOSE [[A close up of the man's nose at ZOOMx100 shows little mounds inside, a close up of that close up at ZOOMx1,000 shows that the mounds look like little butts, and a close up of that close up continues into the next panel]] [[At ZOOMx1,000,000x10^100, a butt is farting <<poot>>]] Panel of text: THE GUY WHO COULD FART THROUGH HIS NOSE [[strikes are through the words "COULD FART THROUGH" and is replaced by "HAS TINY BUTTS ON". The new text reads "THE GUY WHO HAS TINY BUTTS ON HIS NOSE"]] [[Bald guy holds up a roll of toilet paper near his face, looking disappointed]] Panel of text: STILL PRETTY CRAZY. The Guy Who Could Fart Through His Nose

Bald guy: <>

[[Bald guy is motionless]]

Panel of text: THE GUY WHO COULD FART THROUGH HIS NOSE

[[A close up of the man's nose at ZOOMx100 shows little mounds inside, a close up of that close up at ZOOMx1,000 shows that the mounds look like little butts, and a close up of that close up continues into the next panel]]

[[At ZOOMx1,000,000x10^100, a butt is farting <>]]

Panel of text: THE GUY WHO COULD FART THROUGH HIS NOSE [[strikes are through the words "COULD FART THROUGH" and is replaced by "HAS TINY BUTTS ON". The new text reads "THE GUY WHO HAS TINY BUTTS ON HIS NOSE"]]

[[Bald guy holds up a roll of toilet paper near his face, looking disappointed]]

Panel of text: STILL PRETTY CRAZY.]]> Punch Monster and the New Year http://buttersafe.com/2009/12/31/punch-monster-and-the-new-year/ http://buttersafe.com/2009/12/31/punch-monster-and-the-new-year/ Tue, 15 May 2012 18:11:25 -0000 <a href="http://buttersafe.com/2009/12/31/punch-monster-and-the-new-year/">Punch Monster and the New Year</a> [[Boy and Punch Monster sit, overlooking a city.]] Boy: The year is finally coming to a close, Punch Monster. Boy: I hate to admit it, but I've made a lot of mistakes over the last twelve months. Boy: I'd even say that I've done some things that I'm ashamed of. Boy: I swear that this year will be different, though. I'm going to follow through on all the promises I've made to myself and to others. Boy: No more wasting my potential. I'm going to give it everything I have and make my life count for something. Boy: One way or another I'll prove my true worth even if that means finding out I'll never be the person I always dreamed of becoming. Boy: Do you have any resolutions for the new year? [[Punch monster hands him a piece of paper that reads "punch more".]] Boy: I believe in you, little buddy. Punch Monster and the New Year

[[Boy and Punch Monster sit, overlooking a city.]]
Boy: The year is finally coming to a close, Punch Monster.

Boy: I hate to admit it, but I've made a lot of mistakes over the last twelve months.

Boy: I'd even say that I've done some things that I'm ashamed of.

Boy: I swear that this year will be different, though. I'm going to follow through on all the promises I've made to myself and to others.

Boy: No more wasting my potential. I'm going to give it everything I have and make my life count for something.

Boy: One way or another I'll prove my true worth even if that means finding out I'll never be the person I always dreamed of becoming.

Boy: Do you have any resolutions for the new year?

[[Punch monster hands him a piece of paper that reads "punch more".]]

Boy: I believe in you, little buddy.]]> Choosing a Gift http://buttersafe.com/2009/12/24/choosing-a-gift/ http://buttersafe.com/2009/12/24/choosing-a-gift/ Tue, 15 May 2012 18:09:55 -0000 <a href="http://buttersafe.com/2009/12/24/choosing-a-gift/">Choosing a Gift</a> Boyfriend to girlfriend: I never know what gift to get for you. [[There appears to be an enormous pile of stuff behind the boyfriend. Notably visible in the pile are a car, a tv, a chair, and various other items]] Boyfriend: So to cover all my bases I got you one of everything. Girlfriend: Great! You must have gotten me the pair of shoes I wanted then! [[The boyfriend hols up a finger and a single shoe]] Boyfriend: One of everything. Choosing a Gift

Boyfriend to girlfriend: I never know what gift to get for you.

[[There appears to be an enormous pile of stuff behind the boyfriend. Notably visible in the pile are a car, a tv, a chair, and various other items]]
Boyfriend: So to cover all my bases I got you one of everything.

Girlfriend: Great! You must have gotten me the pair of shoes I wanted then!

[[The boyfriend hols up a finger and a single shoe]]
Boyfriend: One of everything.]]> Magic Carpet Ride 2 http://buttersafe.com/2009/12/22/magic-carpet-ride-2/ http://buttersafe.com/2009/12/22/magic-carpet-ride-2/ Tue, 15 May 2012 18:09:22 -0000 <a href="http://buttersafe.com/2009/12/22/magic-carpet-ride-2/">Magic Carpet Ride 2</a> [[A man is riding a magic carpet.]] Man: Magic Carpet Ride!! [[He vomits and it lands on two people down below.]] Magic Carpet Ride 2

[[A man is riding a magic carpet.]]

Man: Magic Carpet Ride!!

[[He vomits and it lands on two people down below.]]]]> Council of the Gods http://buttersafe.com/2009/12/17/council-of-the-gods/ http://buttersafe.com/2009/12/17/council-of-the-gods/ Tue, 15 May 2012 18:03:24 -0000 <a href="http://buttersafe.com/2009/12/17/council-of-the-gods/">Council of the Gods</a> [[A circle of gods stands around in an empty grey space.]] Jackal-headed God: Hello everybody! Jackal-headed God: I've called you all to this uninhabited planet for a counsel of the gods. Jackal-headed God: Not everyone is here yet, but let's go ahead and get start--whoops, hold on. I think that's primordial ooze over there. [[Eleven panels in which the cycle of evolution is shown, from the first land animal to the destruction of a futuristic bubble city]] Jackal-headed God: Okay, sorry about that interruption. Council of the Gods

[[A circle of gods stands around in an empty grey space.]]
Jackal-headed God: Hello everybody!
Jackal-headed God: I've called you all to this uninhabited planet for a counsel of the gods.
Jackal-headed God: Not everyone is here yet, but let's go ahead and get start--whoops, hold on. I think that's primordial ooze over there.
[[Eleven panels in which the cycle of evolution is shown, from the first land animal to the destruction of a futuristic bubble city]]
Jackal-headed God: Okay, sorry about that interruption.]]> The Coin Collection http://buttersafe.com/2009/12/15/the-coin-collection/ http://buttersafe.com/2009/12/15/the-coin-collection/ Tue, 15 May 2012 17:52:25 -0000 <a href="http://buttersafe.com/2009/12/15/the-coin-collection/">The Coin Collection</a> [[A coin collector stands next to a giant pile of coins]] CC: Here is my coin collection. [[There is now a man standing behind the coin collector holding a small jar of coins]] CC:It is a lot of coins. [[The coin collector turns to the man holding the jar]] CC: You want some don't you? [[The coin collector hugs his giant pile of coins]] CC: Well you can't have any!! [[The man with the jar walks off while the coin collector laughs manically]] CC: It's all mine! Ha ha ha... [[The coin collector and the man with the jar of coins are now at a coins 4 cash machine. The giant pile of coins is now in a jar and at the coin collector's side. The man cashes in his jar while the coin collector laughs manically]] CC: Ha ha ha... The Coin Collection

[[A coin collector stands next to a giant pile of coins]]
CC: Here is my coin collection.

[[There is now a man standing behind the coin collector holding a small jar of coins]]
CC:It is a lot of coins.

[[The coin collector turns to the man holding the jar]]
CC: You want some don't you?

[[The coin collector hugs his giant pile of coins]]
CC: Well you can't have any!!

[[The man with the jar walks off while the coin collector laughs manically]]
CC: It's all mine! Ha ha ha...

[[The coin collector and the man with the jar of coins are now at a coins 4 cash machine. The giant pile of coins is now in a jar and at the coin collector's side. The man cashes in his jar while the coin collector laughs manically]]
CC: Ha ha ha...]]>