I Love Stupid - latest additions

I Love Stupid - latest additions http://www.ilovestupid.com The latest transcribed I Love Stupid comics, powered by OhNoRobot.com en-us Sun, 13 Jan 2013 06:12:02 -0000 60 Christmas shopping: SOLVED http://www.ilovestupid.com/index.php?id=190 http://www.ilovestupid.com/index.php?id=190 Sun, 13 Jan 2013 05:43:09 -0000 <a href="http://www.ilovestupid.com/index.php?id=190">Christmas shopping: SOLVED</a> Rob: I'm done with my Christmas shopping. Tim: Pretty sure everyone is. Wait, do you mean for this year? Rob: And maybe the rest of my life. Tim: What. Rob (narrating): I'll hold on to all the gift cards I received last year. Next holiday season, I'll give them out as gifts from me. Newly received gift cards will be immediately added to the pool. Dan: This card you gave me says "To: Rob". Rob: That's a typo. Rob (narrating): Recent history indicates a year-to-year increase in the exchange of gift cards, so I should always have plenty to give out the next year. Dan: This is the card I gave you last year. Rob: Then direct any complaints to yourself. Tim: If not, your impersonal gifts will alienate your friends, then you don't have to shop for them at all. Rob: Whatever keeps me out of the mall. keywords: comic, webcomic, cartoon, funny, humor, comedy, Christmas, shopping, gifts, presents, giftcards, gift cards, cash, regifting Christmas shopping: SOLVED

Rob: I'm done with my Christmas shopping.
Tim: Pretty sure everyone is. Wait, do you mean for this year?
Rob: And maybe the rest of my life.
Tim: What.

Rob (narrating): I'll hold on to all the gift cards I received last year. Next holiday season, I'll give them out as gifts from me. Newly received gift cards will be immediately added to the pool.
Dan: This card you gave me says "To: Rob".
Rob: That's a typo.

Rob (narrating): Recent history indicates a year-to-year increase in the exchange of gift cards, so I should always have plenty to give out the next year.
Dan: This is the card I gave you last year.
Rob: Then direct any complaints to yourself.

Tim: If not, your impersonal gifts will alienate your friends, then you don't have to shop for them at all.
Rob: Whatever keeps me out of the mall.

keywords: comic, webcomic, cartoon, funny, humor, comedy, Christmas, shopping, gifts, presents, giftcards, gift cards, cash, regifting]]> The effects of sleep debt http://www.ilovestupid.com/index.php?id=189 http://www.ilovestupid.com/index.php?id=189 Wed, 24 Oct 2012 21:26:35 -0000 <a href="http://www.ilovestupid.com/index.php?id=189">The effects of sleep debt</a> title: The Effects of Sleep Debt narration: 1 hour: A bit tired. Not so bad. narration: 2 hours: Tired. Slightly grouchy. narration: 3 hours: Lacking normal level of mental focus. narration: 4 hours: Struggling to keep eyes open. narration: 5 hours: Micronaps inevitable, probably while driving. narration: 6 hours: Want to kill everyone, but too tired. narration: 7 hours: Want to kill self, maybe too tired. narration: 8 hours: Only reason still awake = explosive diarrhea. notes: make it stop keywords: sleep, debt, deprivation, rest, tired, drowsy, health, mood The effects of sleep debt

title: The Effects of Sleep Debt

narration: 1 hour: A bit tired. Not so bad.

narration: 2 hours: Tired. Slightly grouchy.

narration: 3 hours: Lacking normal level of mental focus.

narration: 4 hours: Struggling to keep eyes open.

narration: 5 hours: Micronaps inevitable, probably while driving.

narration: 6 hours: Want to kill everyone, but too tired.

narration: 7 hours: Want to kill self, maybe too tired.

narration: 8 hours: Only reason still awake = explosive diarrhea.
notes: make it stop

keywords: sleep, debt, deprivation, rest, tired, drowsy, health, mood]]> Know your politics, pt. 3 http://www.ilovestupid.com/index.php?id=188 http://www.ilovestupid.com/index.php?id=188 Wed, 10 Oct 2012 08:42:49 -0000 <a href="http://www.ilovestupid.com/index.php?id=188">Know your politics, pt. 3</a> Rob: You watched the presidential debate? Syd: Pretty much. I caught little bits when real shows had commercials. Rob: So the founding fathers can rest in peace. Your analysis? Syd: Politics is boringer than ever. Syd: All I know is there's a black one and a white one and they both keep calling each other liars, so I don't know who to believe and pretty soon guess what I don't care. Rob: ... Yeah that about sums it up. keywords: politics, government, debate, campaign, presidential, lies, dishonesty, deception Know your politics, pt. 3

Rob: You watched the presidential debate?
Syd: Pretty much. I caught little bits when real shows had commercials.
Rob: So the founding fathers can rest in peace. Your analysis?
Syd: Politics is boringer than ever.

Syd: All I know is there's a black one and a white one and they both keep calling each other liars, so I don't know who to believe and pretty soon guess what I don't care.
Rob: ... Yeah that about sums it up.

keywords: politics, government, debate, campaign, presidential, lies, dishonesty, deception]]> Know your politics, pt. 2 http://www.ilovestupid.com/index.php?id=187 http://www.ilovestupid.com/index.php?id=187 Wed, 26 Sep 2012 21:16:50 -0000 <a href="http://www.ilovestupid.com/index.php?id=187">Know your politics, pt. 2</a> Rob: How about you, Syd? Do you keep up with politics? Syd: Uhh, yeah right! I have a life. Rob: Kardashians don't just keep up with themselves. Syd: Yeah and that government stuff is sooo boring! Rob: You know, if we learned all about history and politics and international relations, I bet there's just as much titillating drama and scandal as your reality TV shows. And not scripted. Syd: Really? Rob: Sure... the people are just way less "hot". Syd: Yeah, PASS. keywords: politics, government, history, reality tv, Kardashians, drama, scandal, entertainment Know your politics, pt. 2

Rob: How about you, Syd? Do you keep up with politics?
Syd: Uhh, yeah right! I have a life.
Rob: Kardashians don't just keep up with themselves.
Syd: Yeah and that government stuff is sooo boring!

Rob: You know, if we learned all about history and politics and international relations, I bet there's just as much titillating drama and scandal as your reality TV shows. And not scripted.
Syd: Really?
Rob: Sure... the people are just way less "hot".
Syd: Yeah, PASS.

keywords: politics, government, history, reality tv, Kardashians, drama, scandal, entertainment]]> Know your politics, pt. 1 http://www.ilovestupid.com/index.php?id=186 http://www.ilovestupid.com/index.php?id=186 Wed, 12 Sep 2012 19:06:45 -0000 <a href="http://www.ilovestupid.com/index.php?id=186">Know your politics, pt. 1</a> Rob: When I was young, I had skewed expectations of adulthood. I thought I'd have to know all about politics and history, recognize classical composers, quote poetry and literature, and speak several languages. It turns out most adults never do any of that. They go about enjoying their lives, which is what really matters. Politico: You can just say you're dumb. narration: Moments earlier... Politico: What do you think about the presidential candidates? Rob: (Uh oh.) keywords: politics, knowledge, intelligence, adult, history, classical music, poetry, literature, foreign language Know your politics, pt. 1

Rob: When I was young, I had skewed expectations of adulthood. I thought I'd have to know all about politics and history, recognize classical composers, quote poetry and literature, and speak several languages. It turns out most adults never do any of that. They go about enjoying their lives, which is what really matters.
Politico: You can just say you're dumb.

narration: Moments earlier...
Politico: What do you think about the presidential candidates?
Rob: (Uh oh.)

keywords: politics, knowledge, intelligence, adult, history, classical music, poetry, literature, foreign language]]> The Misshapen Piece Meets The Other Misshapen Piece http://www.ilovestupid.com/index.php?id=185 http://www.ilovestupid.com/index.php?id=185 Sun, 29 Jul 2012 04:50:26 -0000 <a href="http://www.ilovestupid.com/index.php?id=185">The Misshapen Piece Meets The Other Misshapen Piece</a> narration: I wonder if people with overbites and people with underbites seek each other out. narration: Maybe when they kiss it's a perfect fit like Shel Silverstein would've wanted. narration: And they have children with perfectly balanced faces. Overbite: Can you believe we made that? Underbite: He's... beautiful. Baby: You people are hideous. keywords: overbite, underbite, face, jaw, attractiveness, beauty, kiss, genetics, children The Misshapen Piece Meets The Other Misshapen Piece

narration: I wonder if people with overbites and people with underbites seek each other out.

narration: Maybe when they kiss it's a perfect fit like Shel Silverstein would've wanted.

narration: And they have children with perfectly balanced faces.

Overbite: Can you believe we made that?
Underbite: He's... beautiful.
Baby: You people are hideous.

keywords: overbite, underbite, face, jaw, attractiveness, beauty, kiss, genetics, children]]> Life discovered in the big apple http://www.ilovestupid.com/index.php?id=184 http://www.ilovestupid.com/index.php?id=184 Mon, 16 Jul 2012 17:47:17 -0000 <a href="http://www.ilovestupid.com/index.php?id=184">Life discovered in the big apple</a> Rob: It finally happened. I bit into an apple and found a worm. Tim: No big deal. You ingest random bugs and critters all the time without knowing it. Rob: Like spiders crawling in my mouth while I'm asleep? Tim: Yeah... that. Tim: And I enjoy prankery. (Rob throws apple at Tim. Tim jumps to dodge, and apple hits Bystander.) Bystander: Why. Tim: Hey kid, what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Kid: (holding balloon on string) Ooh ooh I know dis one! Kid: HALF a- Tim: -razor blade, that's right! Half a razor blade. Kid: (looks shocked, lets go of balloon string) notes: didn't know that was even an option keywords: fruit, food, eat, worm, insect, bug, surprise, prank, riddle, razor Life discovered in the big apple

Rob: It finally happened. I bit into an apple and found a worm.
Tim: No big deal. You ingest random bugs and critters all the time without knowing it.

Rob: Like spiders crawling in my mouth while I'm asleep?
Tim: Yeah... that.
Tim: And I enjoy prankery.

(Rob throws apple at Tim. Tim jumps to dodge, and apple hits Bystander.)
Bystander: Why.

Tim: Hey kid, what's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Kid: (holding balloon on string) Ooh ooh I know dis one!
Kid: HALF a-

Tim: -razor blade, that's right! Half a razor blade.
Kid: (looks shocked, lets go of balloon string)
notes: didn't know that was even an option

keywords: fruit, food, eat, worm, insect, bug, surprise, prank, riddle, razor]]> What does she know anyway http://www.ilovestupid.com/index.php?id=183 http://www.ilovestupid.com/index.php?id=183 Sun, 01 Jul 2012 21:14:00 -0000 <a href="http://www.ilovestupid.com/index.php?id=183">What does she know anyway</a> Rob: I don't care what they ate. Rob: Or what song they're listening to. Tim: And they don't care about philanthropy or art and science nerdcraft. Tim: Some people like people. They want to exchange life details, however mundane. Tim: The people who appreciate the TED Talks you share probably already watch them. Rob: "Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people." Tim: First, don't sign onto Facebook in search of great minds. Tim: Second, no one cares about Eleanor Roosevelt's opinion. She was all kinds of homely. notes: this is America after all keywords: Facebook, social network, sharing, posts, superficial What does she know anyway

Rob: I don't care what they ate.
Rob: Or what song they're listening to.
Tim: And they don't care about philanthropy or art and science nerdcraft.

Tim: Some people like people. They want to exchange life details, however mundane.
Tim: The people who appreciate the TED Talks you share probably already watch them.

Rob: "Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people."
Tim: First, don't sign onto Facebook in search of great minds.

Tim: Second, no one cares about Eleanor Roosevelt's opinion. She was all kinds of homely.
notes: this is America after all

keywords: Facebook, social network, sharing, posts, superficial]]> You have offended my idiotic sensibility http://www.ilovestupid.com/index.php?id=182 http://www.ilovestupid.com/index.php?id=182 Fri, 15 Jun 2012 18:56:59 -0000 <a href="http://www.ilovestupid.com/index.php?id=182">You have offended my idiotic sensibility</a> critic: You shouldn't joke about that. Rob: Because...? critic: It's insensitive and offensive. Rob: You sound retarded. Rob: Firstly, only a fresh fool takes comedy at face value. critic: (fresh fool...?) Rob: Making light of a thing isn't necessarily disrespectful or dismissive. Rob: Quite the contrary. Comedy alleviates the tension and mood-killing grimness that accompany discussion of unpleasant topics. Rob: It allows us to share feelings and exchange ideas without spiraling into collective depression. Rob: So we can more easily address the darker parts of life: murder... rape... disease... critic: Your face? Rob: ... My face, yes. Well done. keywords: humor, comedy, jokes, sensitive, offensive, conversation, topics, dark, serious You have offended my idiotic sensibility

critic: You shouldn't joke about that.
Rob: Because...?
critic: It's insensitive and offensive.
Rob: You sound retarded.

Rob: Firstly, only a fresh fool takes comedy at face value.
critic: (fresh fool...?)
Rob: Making light of a thing isn't necessarily disrespectful or dismissive.

Rob: Quite the contrary. Comedy alleviates the tension and mood-killing grimness that accompany discussion of unpleasant topics.
Rob: It allows us to share feelings and exchange ideas without spiraling into collective depression.

Rob: So we can more easily address the darker parts of life: murder... rape... disease...
critic: Your face?
Rob: ... My face, yes. Well done.

keywords: humor, comedy, jokes, sensitive, offensive, conversation, topics, dark, serious]]> Those spoiled wheelchair kids http://www.ilovestupid.com/index.php?id=181 http://www.ilovestupid.com/index.php?id=181 Mon, 04 Jun 2012 00:33:41 -0000 <a href="http://www.ilovestupid.com/index.php?id=181">Those spoiled wheelchair kids</a> Rob: Kids can be spoiled. Tim: All complaining about the car their parents bought them. Rob: Exactly. I wonder if wheelchair kids whine about their chairs. chair kid: Timmy's parents got him the new one. chair kid: It's got cupholders. chair kid: And GPS navigation. chair kid: Mine is so old and crappy. It's not even powered! chair kid: I guess you guys don't love me! parents: (look at each other in silence) chair kid: (looks shocked) keywords: wheelchair, disabled, handicapped, children, kids, spoiled, jealousy, envy, comparison, gratitude, grateful, ingrate Those spoiled wheelchair kids

Rob: Kids can be spoiled.
Tim: All complaining about the car their parents bought them.
Rob: Exactly. I wonder if wheelchair kids whine about their chairs.

chair kid: Timmy's parents got him the new one.
chair kid: It's got cupholders.
chair kid: And GPS navigation.

chair kid: Mine is so old and crappy. It's not even powered!
chair kid: I guess you guys don't love me!

parents: (look at each other in silence)
chair kid: (looks shocked)

keywords: wheelchair, disabled, handicapped, children, kids, spoiled, jealousy, envy, comparison, gratitude, grateful, ingrate]]>