Knock on Wood - latest additions

Knock on Wood - latest additions http://knockonwood.porplemontage.com The latest transcribed Knock on Wood comics, powered by OhNoRobot.com en-us Mon, 20 Apr 2009 19:10:25 -0000 60 Überculture http://knockonwood.porplemontage.com/index.php?date=2006-01-10 http://knockonwood.porplemontage.com/index.php?date=2006-01-10 Thu, 26 Jan 2006 04:34:25 -0000 <a href="http://knockonwood.porplemontage.com/index.php?date=2006-01-10">Überculture</a> Green: so, i heard steve jobs and apple are coming out with a new iDevice with plenty of iApps to go around. Yellow: i know! Yellow: it's crazy. apple is going wild and becoming this mega uberculture behemoth that foists their iPods and iBooks and iMacs onto the unwitting masses! it sickens me. [[Green has an iPod]] Green: what? Yellow: oh, god. Überculture

Green: so, i heard steve jobs and apple are coming out with a new iDevice with plenty of iApps to go around.
Yellow: i know!

Yellow: it's crazy. apple is going wild and becoming this mega uberculture behemoth that foists their iPods and iBooks and iMacs onto the unwitting masses! it sickens me.

[[Green has an iPod]]
Green: what?
Yellow: oh, god.]]> Blackout http://knockonwood.porplemontage.com/index.php?date=2006-01-09 http://knockonwood.porplemontage.com/index.php?date=2006-01-09 Wed, 25 Jan 2006 05:34:05 -0000 <a href="http://knockonwood.porplemontage.com/index.php?date=2006-01-09">Blackout</a> [[Orange, Blue, Green and Yellow are in the dark.]] Orange: whoa, did it just get really dark in here, or is it just me? Blue: afraid of the dark? why not cuddle up with me, baby? Green: hey blue! unless you want a point in your ass, sides off my girl! Yellow: communism caused this blackout! green, this is all your fault! Blackout

[[Orange, Blue, Green and Yellow are in the dark.]]
Orange: whoa, did it just get really dark in here, or is it just me?
Blue: afraid of the dark? why not cuddle up with me, baby?
Green: hey blue! unless you want a point in your ass, sides off my girl!
Yellow: communism caused this blackout! green, this is all your fault!]]> Shipwreck http://knockonwood.porplemontage.com/index.php?date=2006-01-08 http://knockonwood.porplemontage.com/index.php?date=2006-01-08 Sun, 08 Jan 2006 08:41:42 -0000 <a href="http://knockonwood.porplemontage.com/index.php?date=2006-01-08">Shipwreck</a> Green: hey blue... Blue: yeah, green? Green: let's say all us polygons were on the titanic. if you could save only one of us, would you save me or yellow? Blue: i'd save orange, dude. she's way hotter than any of you two. Green: no, you can't choose her. i'd save her first. Blue: well, since you've both made it to shore, the only one left is yellow. Green: damn it, blue! play by the rules! Shipwreck

Green: hey blue...
Blue: yeah, green?

Green: let's say all us polygons were on the titanic. if you could save only one of us, would you save me or yellow?

Blue: i'd save orange, dude. she's way hotter than any of you two.
Green: no, you can't choose her. i'd save her first.
Blue: well, since you've both made it to shore, the only one left is yellow.
Green: damn it, blue! play by the rules!]]> Aliens http://knockonwood.porplemontage.com/index.php?date=2005-12-27 http://knockonwood.porplemontage.com/index.php?date=2005-12-27 Sat, 07 Jan 2006 23:15:52 -0000 <a href="http://knockonwood.porplemontage.com/index.php?date=2005-12-27">Aliens</a> Green: yellow, do you think there's life beyond our planet? Yellow: what, like aliens? Yellow: hard to say. some say it's impossible that we're alone in this universe, others say that we're unique. Green: ...do you think they have cool laser guns? Yellow: whatever you say, green. Aliens

Green: yellow, do you think there's life beyond our planet?
Yellow: what, like aliens?

Yellow: hard to say. some say it's impossible that we're alone in this universe, others say that we're unique.

Green: ...do you think they have cool laser guns?
Yellow: whatever you say, green.]]> Capitalism http://knockonwood.porplemontage.com/index.php?date=2006-01-07 http://knockonwood.porplemontage.com/index.php?date=2006-01-07 Sat, 07 Jan 2006 19:34:55 -0000 <a href="http://knockonwood.porplemontage.com/index.php?date=2006-01-07">Capitalism</a> Yellow: so green, how's good old greenco doing? Green: spiffingly well! Yellow: i see! spiffingly well, eh? i guess one might say, with all that money you're making, that you're "capitalising" on your profits! Green: heck y-- oh no. oh no. oh GOD NO! WHAT HAVE I BECOME? Red Triangle: comrade, you have some explaining to do! Capitalism

Yellow: so green, how's good old greenco doing?
Green: spiffingly well!

Yellow: i see! spiffingly well, eh? i guess one might say, with all that money you're making, that you're "capitalising" on your profits!

Green: heck y-- oh no. oh no. oh GOD NO! WHAT HAVE I BECOME?
Red Triangle: comrade, you have some explaining to do!]]> Sabotage http://knockonwood.porplemontage.com/index.php?date=2006-01-06 http://knockonwood.porplemontage.com/index.php?date=2006-01-06 Fri, 06 Jan 2006 07:33:42 -0000 <a href="http://knockonwood.porplemontage.com/index.php?date=2006-01-06">Sabotage</a> [[at yellowco headquarters...]] Green: hello? where is the CEO of yellowco? i've come to talk to him about some INSIDER TRADING. ILLEGAL INSIDER TRADING. AS IN STUFF THAT COULD BE AGAINST THE LAW. stuff he's responsible for, of course. [[and, at greenco...]] Yellow: hi! i've come to deliver the ILLEGAL GAMBLING MONIES that were requested by mr. green. ILLEGAL. [[and, at the orange diamond's crime fighting HQ...]] Orange: huzzah! i hear the sound of very illegal crimes being committed! come along, "the cobalt quadrilateral!" Blue: evildoers, beware! Sabotage

[[at yellowco headquarters...]]
Green: hello? where is the CEO of yellowco? i've come to talk to him about some INSIDER TRADING. ILLEGAL INSIDER TRADING. AS IN STUFF THAT COULD BE AGAINST THE LAW. stuff he's responsible for, of course.

[[and, at greenco...]]
Yellow: hi! i've come to deliver the ILLEGAL GAMBLING MONIES that were requested by mr. green. ILLEGAL.

[[and, at the orange diamond's crime fighting HQ...]]
Orange: huzzah! i hear the sound of very illegal crimes being committed! come along, "the cobalt quadrilateral!"
Blue: evildoers, beware!]]> Takeover http://knockonwood.porplemontage.com/index.php?date=2006-01-05 http://knockonwood.porplemontage.com/index.php?date=2006-01-05 Thu, 05 Jan 2006 07:47:10 -0000 <a href="http://knockonwood.porplemontage.com/index.php?date=2006-01-05">Takeover</a> Yellow: hey, blue! i need your help, dude! Blue: what is it? Yellow: well, i think we can make a takeover of greenco, if we can manage to create a rival company that'll outsell him. i'll call it... yellowco. [[meanwhile, at greenco headquarters]] Green: hmmmm... i can't help but feel i'm in for a major downfall right now. Takeover

Yellow: hey, blue! i need your help, dude!
Blue: what is it?

Yellow: well, i think we can make a takeover of greenco, if we can manage to create a rival company that'll outsell him. i'll call it... yellowco.

[[meanwhile, at greenco headquarters]]
Green: hmmmm... i can't help but feel i'm in for a major downfall right now.]]> 24 http://knockonwood.porplemontage.com/index.php?date=2005-12-23 http://knockonwood.porplemontage.com/index.php?date=2005-12-23 Thu, 05 Jan 2006 07:43:52 -0000 <a href="http://knockonwood.porplemontage.com/index.php?date=2005-12-23">24</a> {{hour 1: the polygons wake up}} Yellow: green, have you seen my dental floss? Green: zzzzzzzzzz Yellow: green, wake up! i've got some serious dirt in this one grain of my surface and if i can't find the floss it will be a DENTAL FLOSS-MERGENCY. Yellow: fine! stay asleep. but when i find the floss, i am NOT sharing with you. Green: zzzzzzzzzzzdrama queenzzzzzzzzzzzzzz {{hour 2: the polygons have breakfast}} Green: dude, are you eating sugar-coated ultra sugar flakes? Yellow: so what if i am? Green: those are MY sugar-coated ultra sugar flakes. you know what this means, don't you? [[POLYGON KARATE SUPER MATCH!!!]] {{hour 3: green triangle watches cartoons... alone}} Green: hahahaha! i doubt that coyote will ever catch the road runner. TV: "coming up next: the road runner is finally caught by the coyote!" Green: me and my big mouth. {{hour 4: the yellow pentagon is an internet troll}} [[POLITICAL WEB FORUM]] [[Topic: "Who are you voting for???"]] johndoe32: "Personally, I'm a strong supporter of the local Communist Party. They work for the rights of the working man!" Yellow: that bastard! i'll show him a thing or two! Yellow: "LOLZ UR TEH GHEY COMMUNIST" thealmightymodman: "el_yellow_pentagon, you've been officially permabanned." Yellow: "SHIT!" {{hour 5: orange shops for xmas presents with green}} Orange: oh! and this one's just perfect. all of these even! Green: wow! Green: that's a lot of stuff! who are you getting all these amazing presents for? Orange: me, of course! Green: hooray for the spirit of giving-- OH WAIT. YOU JUST KILLED IT! {{hour 6: yellow picks up blue after his vacation}} Yellow: man, blue said he'd be here by now! Blue: look out below! Blue: sorry about that! the airline went bankrupt mid-flight and they had to cancel my flight in the air. Yellow: good to know. {{hour 7: the circus}} [[A circus with lions.]] Green: wooooooooo! hooray for the lions! Green: wait. why are the lions closing in on the lion tamer? oh god. oh- oh my god. ohhhhhh that is not good. OH! i did not want to see that. this- this is not good. SOMEONE CALL THE HOSPITAL! {{hour 8: god takes a moment to deliver a message}} God: HELLO. IT'S ME, GOD. God: YOU MAY NOT KNOW IT, BUT I'M AN ALL-POWERFUL GUY. God: HERE'S SOME PROOF. Red Triangle: aack! i'm dying! God: MORAL OF THIS COMIC? God: DON'T FUCK WITH GOD. {{hour 9: green triangle hosts a talk show}} Green: so, how's everyone doing? good? awesome! so, how about the state of world affairs? pretty crazy, huh? yep! weiiiird stuff! Red Triangle: boooo! Green: you're my COMRADES! you're s'posed to SUPPORT ME in my endeavours! now i'm gonna sulk for a few hours. ARE YOU HAPPY? Red Triangle: yes! {{hour 10: the polygons play charades}} 24

{{hour 1: the polygons wake up}}
Yellow: green, have you seen my dental floss?
Green: zzzzzzzzzz

Yellow: green, wake up! i've got some serious dirt in this one grain of my surface and if i can't find the floss it will be a DENTAL FLOSS-MERGENCY.

Yellow: fine! stay asleep. but when i find the floss, i am NOT sharing with you.
Green: zzzzzzzzzzzdrama queenzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

{{hour 2: the polygons have breakfast}}
Green: dude, are you eating sugar-coated ultra sugar flakes?
Yellow: so what if i am?

Green: those are MY sugar-coated ultra sugar flakes. you know what this means, don't you?

[[POLYGON KARATE SUPER MATCH!!!]]

{{hour 3: green triangle watches cartoons... alone}}
Green: hahahaha! i doubt that coyote will ever catch the road runner.

TV: "coming up next: the road runner is finally caught by the coyote!"

Green: me and my big mouth.

{{hour 4: the yellow pentagon is an internet troll}}
[[POLITICAL WEB FORUM]]
[[Topic: "Who are you voting for???"]]
johndoe32: "Personally, I'm a strong supporter of the local Communist Party. They work for the rights of the working man!"

Yellow: that bastard! i'll show him a thing or two!

Yellow: "LOLZ UR TEH GHEY COMMUNIST"
thealmightymodman: "el_yellow_pentagon, you've been officially permabanned."
Yellow: "SHIT!"

{{hour 5: orange shops for xmas presents with green}}
Orange: oh! and this one's just perfect. all of these even!
Green: wow!

Green: that's a lot of stuff! who are you getting all these amazing presents for?

Orange: me, of course!
Green: hooray for the spirit of giving-- OH WAIT. YOU JUST KILLED IT!

{{hour 6: yellow picks up blue after his vacation}}
Yellow: man, blue said he'd be here by now!

Blue: look out below!

Blue: sorry about that! the airline went bankrupt mid-flight and they had to cancel my flight in the air.
Yellow: good to know.

{{hour 7: the circus}}
[[A circus with lions.]]

Green: wooooooooo! hooray for the lions!
Green: wait. why are the lions closing in on the lion tamer? oh god. oh- oh my god. ohhhhhh that is not good. OH! i did not want to see that. this- this is not good. SOMEONE CALL THE HOSPITAL!

{{hour 8: god takes a moment to deliver a message}}
God: HELLO. IT'S ME, GOD.
God: YOU MAY NOT KNOW IT, BUT I'M AN ALL-POWERFUL GUY.
God: HERE'S SOME PROOF.

Red Triangle: aack! i'm dying!

God: MORAL OF THIS COMIC?
God: DON'T FUCK WITH GOD.

{{hour 9: green triangle hosts a talk show}}
Green: so, how's everyone doing? good? awesome! so, how about the state of world affairs? pretty crazy, huh? yep! weiiiird stuff!

Red Triangle: boooo!

Green: you're my COMRADES! you're s'posed to SUPPORT ME in my endeavours! now i'm gonna sulk for a few hours. ARE YOU HAPPY?
Red Triangle: yes!

{{hour 10: the polygons play charades}}]]> Fired http://knockonwood.porplemontage.com/index.php?date=2006-01-04 http://knockonwood.porplemontage.com/index.php?date=2006-01-04 Thu, 05 Jan 2006 01:17:33 -0000 <a href="http://knockonwood.porplemontage.com/index.php?date=2006-01-04">Fired</a> Yellow: dangit, green- i mean, boss- what is it this time? Green: well, yellow... you're fired(tm). Green: hahahaha! oh man, that was great! i felt like i owned the world in that one moment! and you should've seen the look on your face! Yellow: so... am i fired? Green: of course not. i'll see you next morning, as usual. bye! [["you're fired" is a trademark of the Trump Organization and Trump Productions, LLC. All rights reserved.]] Fired

Yellow: dangit, green- i mean, boss- what is it this time?
Green: well, yellow... you're fired.

Green: hahahaha! oh man, that was great! i felt like i owned the world in that one moment! and you should've seen the look on your face!

Yellow: so... am i fired?
Green: of course not. i'll see you next morning, as usual. bye!
[["you're fired" is a trademark of the Trump Organization and Trump Productions, LLC. All rights reserved.]]]]> Sales http://knockonwood.porplemontage.com/index.php?date=2006-01-03 http://knockonwood.porplemontage.com/index.php?date=2006-01-03 Thu, 05 Jan 2006 01:17:32 -0000 <a href="http://knockonwood.porplemontage.com/index.php?date=2006-01-03">Sales</a> Orange: so, you're the sales rep for greenco inc.? Yellow: yes, ma'am! Yellow: we at greenco inc. will strive to meet your needs, and our wide range of products will help you live a better life. Orange: yes, but do they come in pink? Yellow: umm... maybe? Sales

Orange: so, you're the sales rep for greenco inc.?
Yellow: yes, ma'am!

Yellow: we at greenco inc. will strive to meet your needs, and our wide range of products will help you live a better life.

Orange: yes, but do they come in pink?
Yellow: umm... maybe?]]>