D.A. Falcon - latest additions

D.A. Falcon - latest additions http://dafalcon.kicks-ass.net The latest transcribed D.A. Falcon comics, powered by OhNoRobot.com en-us Thu, 01 Jul 2010 20:42:03 -0000 60 SF4 http://dafalcon.kicks-ass.net/comic/4/4/ http://dafalcon.kicks-ass.net/comic/4/4/ Thu, 01 Jul 2010 20:27:01 -0000 <a href="http://dafalcon.kicks-ass.net/comic/4/4/">SF4</a> Sideburns: We're on it, Chief Wulfsheim! And so... Face: Sideburns... Face: Tell me again why we're at an amusement park? Sideburns: Think about it. Where's the last place you would expect such a big time crime lord to be? Sideburns: That's right! An amusement park! Criminals hate amusement, and he knows we know that. Ergo, he must be here! Face: That's stupid. But I guess we do get a good view from up here--we might be able to spot some suspicious activity. Sideburns: Yeah. Also, I like amusement park popcorn. Sideburns: And I wanna ride some roller coasters SF4

Sideburns: We're on it, Chief Wulfsheim!

And so...
Face: Sideburns...
Face: Tell me again why we're at an amusement park?

Sideburns: Think about it. Where's the last place you would expect such a big time crime lord to be?

Sideburns: That's right! An amusement park! Criminals hate amusement, and he knows we know that. Ergo, he must be here!

Face: That's stupid. But I guess we do get a good view from up here--we might be able to spot some suspicious activity.
Sideburns: Yeah. Also, I like amusement park popcorn.
Sideburns: And I wanna ride some roller coasters]]> Pg6 http://dafalcon.kicks-ass.net/comic/1/6/ http://dafalcon.kicks-ass.net/comic/1/6/ Fri, 05 Feb 2010 01:20:03 -0000 <a href="http://dafalcon.kicks-ass.net/comic/1/6/">Pg6</a> [[The District Court House, at the trial of Sampson v. Jass]] Sampson: <<GRR...>> Sampson: [[looking yeti-like]] <<GRRRR...>> Sampson: [[leaping over bench, definitely a yeti now]] <<GRRRRRGHH>> {{title-text: It has been brought to my attention that the yeti man looks like Hulk Hogan. This may be true.}} Pg6

[[The District Court House, at the trial of Sampson v. Jass]]
Sampson: <>

Sampson: [[looking yeti-like]] <>

Sampson: [[leaping over bench, definitely a yeti now]] <>

{{title-text: It has been brought to my attention that the yeti man looks like Hulk Hogan. This may be true.}}]]> Pg5 http://dafalcon.kicks-ass.net/comic/1/5/ http://dafalcon.kicks-ass.net/comic/1/5/ Fri, 05 Feb 2010 01:20:02 -0000 <a href="http://dafalcon.kicks-ass.net/comic/1/5/">Pg5</a> [[The District Court House, at the trial of Sampson v. Jass]] DA Falcon: Mr. Sampson's lawyer claims that the receipt charges you for the food ordered, but that's just speculation! DA Falcon: Technically, it's not even speculation. It's just a load of BS! DA Falcon: Couldn't I give the same cas that the receipt charges for the food prepared? [[Sampson, shocked]] DA Falcon: Plus, he's obviously a yeti in disguise! {{title-text: BS stands for beef stew.}} Pg5

[[The District Court House, at the trial of Sampson v. Jass]]

DA Falcon: Mr. Sampson's lawyer claims that the receipt charges you for the food ordered, but that's just speculation!

DA Falcon: Technically, it's not even speculation. It's just a load of BS!

DA Falcon: Couldn't I give the same cas that the receipt charges for the food prepared?

[[Sampson, shocked]]
DA Falcon: Plus, he's obviously a yeti in disguise!

{{title-text: BS stands for beef stew.}}]]> Pg4 http://dafalcon.kicks-ass.net/comic/1/4/ http://dafalcon.kicks-ass.net/comic/1/4/ Fri, 05 Feb 2010 01:20:00 -0000 <a href="http://dafalcon.kicks-ass.net/comic/1/4/">Pg4</a> [[The District Court House, at the trial of Sampson v. Jass]] [[Sampson stands, holding a receipt]] Sampson: Here, your honor. Take a look at this. [[Judge takes receipt]] Judge: Let me see... [[Receipt is from Burger Bastion. It reads: Burger Bastion burger for $4.50, fries for $2.00, another burger for $4.50, more fries for $2.00 Thank you! And come again! (see back for coupon and other crap)]] Sampson: It's a receipt from Burger Bastion. Like every other receipt, it charges for the food ordered. DA Falcon: Holy nuggets of irony! I've been waiting for something like this all day! DA Falcon: [[With enormous flourish and giant, stylized letters]] OBJECTION! {{title-text: PLEASE FORGIVE ME, IT WAS A CHEAP MOVE MAKING THAT REFERENCE. But I did it anyway. I swear I won't do it again. Maybe.}} Pg4

[[The District Court House, at the trial of Sampson v. Jass]]

[[Sampson stands, holding a receipt]]
Sampson: Here, your honor. Take a look at this.

[[Judge takes receipt]]
Judge: Let me see...

[[Receipt is from Burger Bastion. It reads:
Burger Bastion

burger for $4.50,
fries for $2.00,
another burger for $4.50,
more fries for $2.00

Thank you!
And come again!
(see back for coupon and other crap)]]
Sampson: It's a receipt from Burger Bastion. Like every other receipt, it charges for the food ordered.

DA Falcon: Holy nuggets of irony! I've been waiting for something like this all day!

DA Falcon: [[With enormous flourish and giant, stylized letters]] OBJECTION!

{{title-text: PLEASE FORGIVE ME, IT WAS A CHEAP MOVE MAKING THAT REFERENCE. But I did it anyway. I swear I won't do it again. Maybe.}}]]> Pg3 http://dafalcon.kicks-ass.net/comic/1/3/ http://dafalcon.kicks-ass.net/comic/1/3/ Fri, 05 Feb 2010 01:19:54 -0000 <a href="http://dafalcon.kicks-ass.net/comic/1/3/">Pg3</a> [[The District Court House, at the trial of Sampson v. Jass]] Judge: [[confused look]] 'Rented' food? Lawyer: Yes, your honor. During the digestive process, the food you put into your body is broken down and eventually absorbed into the small intestines, then distributed outised the body as waste. [[aside:]] Er, in other words, it all ends up in the crapper... Sampson: That's right- that man made me and other poor customers pay for food that we can't even keep! DA Falcon: [[off panel]] *Cough* Psycho. DA Falcon: [[Innocent looking]] What? DA Falcon: However, your honor, my client claims that his customers pay for the preparation of the food. Jass: That's right. Jass: Even our slogan says, "We make it, you pay for it." Judge: Well that hardly seems like a solid case... DA Falcon: [[Thinking]] And his does? Pg3

[[The District Court House, at the trial of Sampson v. Jass]]

Judge: [[confused look]] 'Rented' food?

Lawyer: Yes, your honor. During the digestive process, the food you put into your body is broken down and eventually absorbed into the small intestines, then distributed outised the body as waste.
[[aside:]] Er, in other words, it all ends up in the crapper...

Sampson: That's right- that man made me and other poor customers pay for food that we can't even keep!
DA Falcon: [[off panel]] *Cough* Psycho.

DA Falcon: [[Innocent looking]] What?

DA Falcon: However, your honor, my client claims that his customers pay for the preparation of the food.

Jass: That's right.

Jass: Even our slogan says, "We make it, you pay for it."

Judge: Well that hardly seems like a solid case...

DA Falcon: [[Thinking]] And his does?]]> Pg2 http://dafalcon.kicks-ass.net/comic/1/2/ http://dafalcon.kicks-ass.net/comic/1/2/ Fri, 05 Feb 2010 01:19:40 -0000 <a href="http://dafalcon.kicks-ass.net/comic/1/2/">Pg2</a> Judge: Okay, you may now present your cases to the court. Judge: And if you can, make it quick. <Whispering:> I'm going to miss Oprah's annual gift fest... Lawyer: My client, Bob Sampson, is suing Hugh Jass, manager of Burger Bastion, for the crime of charging money for... er, 'rented' food. DA Falcon: dammit, you call my client that one more time and I'll murder your ass! {{title text: Get it? Hugh Jass? Huge ass? Ha ha ha. Pg2

Judge: Okay, you may now present your cases to the court.

Judge: And if you can, make it quick. I'm going to miss Oprah's annual gift fest...

Lawyer: My client, Bob Sampson, is suing Hugh Jass, manager of Burger Bastion, for the crime of charging money for... er, 'rented' food.

DA Falcon: dammit, you call my client that one more time and I'll murder your ass!

{{title text: Get it? Hugh Jass? Huge ass? Ha ha ha.]]> D.A. Falcon http://dafalcon.kicks-ass.net/comic/1/ http://dafalcon.kicks-ass.net/comic/1/ Sat, 30 Jan 2010 04:27:31 -0000 <a href="http://dafalcon.kicks-ass.net/comic/1/">D.A. Falcon</a> [[A courtroom]] DA (narrating): Being an attorney, I occaisonally get some pretty dumb cases. DA (narrating): In fact, that's what most of my cases are. DA (narrating): But this is probably the dumbest case I've ever taken. Judge: We will now begin the court case of Sampson vs. Jass. Please rise. {{Alt-text: If you're thinking the people in the audience look way too small, DON'T BE A JERK! MIDGETS HAVE FEELINGS TOO!}} D.A. Falcon

[[A courtroom]]
DA (narrating): Being an attorney, I occaisonally get some pretty dumb cases.

DA (narrating): In fact, that's what most of my cases are.

DA (narrating): But this is probably the dumbest case I've ever taken.

Judge: We will now begin the court case of Sampson vs. Jass. Please rise.

{{Alt-text: If you're thinking the people in the audience look way too small, DON'T BE A JERK! MIDGETS HAVE FEELINGS TOO!}}]]> D.A. Falcon http://dafalcon.kicks-ass.net/comic/1/ http://dafalcon.kicks-ass.net/comic/1/ Sat, 30 Jan 2010 04:27:31 -0000 <a href="http://dafalcon.kicks-ass.net/comic/1/">D.A. Falcon</a> [[A courtroom]] DA (narrating): Being an attorney, I occaisonally get some pretty dumb cases. DA (narrating): In fact, that's what most of my cases are. DA (narrating): But this is probably the dumbest case I've ever taken. Judge: We will now begin the court case of Sampson vs. Jass. Please rise. {{Alt-text: If you're thinking the people in the audience look way too small, DON'T BE A JERK! MIDGETS HAVE FEELINGS TOO!}} D.A. Falcon

[[A courtroom]]
DA (narrating): Being an attorney, I occaisonally get some pretty dumb cases.

DA (narrating): In fact, that's what most of my cases are.

DA (narrating): But this is probably the dumbest case I've ever taken.

Judge: We will now begin the court case of Sampson vs. Jass. Please rise.

{{Alt-text: If you're thinking the people in the audience look way too small, DON'T BE A JERK! MIDGETS HAVE FEELINGS TOO!}}]]> Pg26 http://dafalcon.kicks-ass.net/comic/2/26/ http://dafalcon.kicks-ass.net/comic/2/26/ Tue, 17 Nov 2009 01:22:13 -0000 <a href="http://dafalcon.kicks-ass.net/comic/2/26/">Pg26</a> CRASH Well that was convenient... C'mon, I've got an idea CRAZED LOOK FEAR Pg26

CRASH

Well that was convenient...

C'mon, I've got an idea

CRAZED LOOK

FEAR]]>