Jimmy and the Hammer - latest additions

Jimmy and the Hammer - latest additions http://jimmyandthehammer.com The latest transcribed Jimmy and the Hammer comics, powered by OhNoRobot.com en-us Fri, 09 Apr 2010 20:12:05 -0000 60 Issue 3, Page 9 and 10 http://jimmyandthehammer.com/index.php?date=20100402 http://jimmyandthehammer.com/index.php?date=20100402 Fri, 09 Apr 2010 20:09:48 -0000 <a href="http://jimmyandthehammer.com/index.php?date=20100402">Issue 3, Page 9 and 10</a> [[Outside gas station, Hammer, talking to Chad again]] Hammer: I knew you didn't sleep with my wife. She may let monkeys feel her up, but she has SOME standards... Chad: Oh, we totally had sex. Just not last night. [[Three successive close ups of hammers face. Each panel larger than the last, each one zoomed in closer on his eye, and each eye looking successively more angry]] [[Hammer punches Chad again]] [[Hammer, hand on chin, thinking face. Chad sprawled out on cement behind him]] Hammer: Wait. If Chad also isn't the arsonist, who is? [[close up on Jimmy's face]] Jimmy: Now that Hammer's back out of the picture, I'm ready for some more "Sensual Touching", if you know what I mean... [[Jimmy, oblivious, sits at table. Libby is standing behind him, about to hit him over the head with a chair]] Libby: I hope this is sensual enough for you. Alt Text: I probably had more fun drawing that one eye than anything else in the comic. Issue 3, Page 9 and 10

[[Outside gas station, Hammer, talking to Chad again]]
Hammer: I knew you didn't sleep with my wife. She may let monkeys feel her up, but she has SOME standards...
Chad: Oh, we totally had sex. Just not last night.

[[Three successive close ups of hammers face. Each panel larger than the last, each one zoomed in closer on his eye, and each eye looking successively more angry]]

[[Hammer punches Chad again]]

[[Hammer, hand on chin, thinking face. Chad sprawled out on cement behind him]]
Hammer: Wait. If Chad also isn't the arsonist, who is?

[[close up on Jimmy's face]]
Jimmy: Now that Hammer's back out of the picture, I'm ready for some more "Sensual Touching", if you know what I mean...

[[Jimmy, oblivious, sits at table. Libby is standing behind him, about to hit him over the head with a chair]]
Libby: I hope this is sensual enough for you.

Alt Text: I probably had more fun drawing that one eye than anything else in the comic.]]> Issue 3, Page 8 http://jimmyandthehammer.com/index.php?date=20100326 http://jimmyandthehammer.com/index.php?date=20100326 Fri, 09 Apr 2010 20:09:46 -0000 <a href="http://jimmyandthehammer.com/index.php?date=20100326">Issue 3, Page 8</a> [[Chad opens door and begins to walk outside]] Chad: Please. I'll do whatever you want. Just don't tell anybody I'm a ballerina. Hammer: What? [[Daydream of Chad in a pink tutu]] Chad: A ballerina. I take classes tuesday nights. I thought you said you knew. Hammer: Oh, that was a bluff. I was trying to get you to confess to the Arson. Hammer: But I see now you can't be the arsonist, because you have TINY BALLERINA FEET. Alt Text: The sky is always pink when Hammer daydreams. This is the result of an imaginary terrible nuclear accident. Issue 3, Page 8

[[Chad opens door and begins to walk outside]]
Chad: Please. I'll do whatever you want. Just don't tell anybody I'm a ballerina.
Hammer: What?

[[Daydream of Chad in a pink tutu]]

Chad: A ballerina. I take classes tuesday nights. I thought you said you knew.
Hammer: Oh, that was a bluff. I was trying to get you to confess to the Arson.

Hammer: But I see now you can't be the arsonist, because you have TINY BALLERINA FEET.

Alt Text: The sky is always pink when Hammer daydreams. This is the result of an imaginary terrible nuclear accident.]]> Issue 3, Page 11 http://jimmyandthehammer.com/index.php?date=20100409 http://jimmyandthehammer.com/index.php?date=20100409 Fri, 09 Apr 2010 19:11:29 -0000 <a href="http://jimmyandthehammer.com/index.php?date=20100409">Issue 3, Page 11</a> [[Hammer walks back to Malicious Mongoose]] [[interor: pub. Hammer goes to table, but finds it empty and sees one chair askew. There is a small bit of blood]] [[Hammer is talking to bartender at the bar]] Hammer: Did you see a woman and a monkey leave here? Bartender: Yeah, I saw bigfoot leave here about 10 minutes ago. Hammer: Why do you call him bigfoot? I get that he's a monkey, but he's tiny. Barkeep: Not the monkey, the lady. She's in here most nights, taking random guys into the bathroom for peruvian hand jobs. Hammer (OP - Interrupting): Enough. Bartender: Anyway, her feet are huge. Like size 13. Hammer: 12 and a half. And yeah, she has some trouble finding shoes that big, but she mainly wears converses... Hammer: Oh no! She wasn't cheating, she was arsoning! Hammer: Though I suppose there was a decent amount of cheating as well. Alt Text: I wanted to keep the strip appropriate, so I censored out the phrase 'peruvian hand jobs'. Issue 3, Page 11

[[Hammer walks back to Malicious Mongoose]]

[[interor: pub. Hammer goes to table, but finds it empty and sees one chair askew. There is a small bit of blood]]

[[Hammer is talking to bartender at the bar]]
Hammer: Did you see a woman and a monkey leave here?
Bartender: Yeah, I saw bigfoot leave here about 10 minutes ago.
Hammer: Why do you call him bigfoot? I get that he's a monkey, but he's tiny.

Barkeep: Not the monkey, the lady. She's in here most nights, taking random guys into the bathroom for peruvian hand jobs.
Hammer (OP - Interrupting): Enough.
Bartender: Anyway, her feet are huge. Like size 13.

Hammer: 12 and a half. And yeah, she has some trouble finding shoes that big, but she mainly wears converses...
Hammer: Oh no! She wasn't cheating, she was arsoning!
Hammer: Though I suppose there was a decent amount of cheating as well.

Alt Text: I wanted to keep the strip appropriate, so I censored out the phrase 'peruvian hand jobs'.]]> Issue 1, Page 3 http://jimmyandthehammer.com/index.php?date=20090907 http://jimmyandthehammer.com/index.php?date=20090907 Fri, 09 Apr 2010 18:57:41 -0000 <a href="http://jimmyandthehammer.com/index.php?date=20090907">Issue 1, Page 3</a> [[Hammer leaves his house]] Hammer: Ugh. Hangover. I've got to stop drinking when I have to work the next day. [[Hammer in a silver pickup, driving to work]] Hammer: At least it should be a pretty slow day. Probably go all shift with no fires. [[Hammer pulls into the parking lot for the firestation. The chief is standing near a firetruck]] Chief: Hurry it up, Hammer! Big fire downtown! Hammer: I stand corrected. Alt Text: Uh oh! Half his truck disappeared! Issue 1, Page 3

[[Hammer leaves his house]]
Hammer: Ugh. Hangover. I've got to stop drinking when I have to work the next day.

[[Hammer in a silver pickup, driving to work]]
Hammer: At least it should be a pretty slow day. Probably go all shift with no fires.

[[Hammer pulls into the parking lot for the firestation. The chief is standing near a firetruck]]
Chief: Hurry it up, Hammer! Big fire downtown!
Hammer: I stand corrected.

Alt Text: Uh oh! Half his truck disappeared!]]> Issue 1, Page 2 http://jimmyandthehammer.com/index.php?date=20090904 http://jimmyandthehammer.com/index.php?date=20090904 Fri, 09 Apr 2010 18:57:39 -0000 <a href="http://jimmyandthehammer.com/index.php?date=20090904">Issue 1, Page 2</a> [[INTERIOR: Hammer's Bedroom]] [[Close up of alarm clock. The time is 7:00. Music has started to play.]] Narration: Elsewhere... [[Hammer is asleep on a bare matress. He is wearing nothing but heart boxers. The room is a mess. There are piles of dirty laundry.]] Narration: Jack "The Hammer" Alexander is late for work. [[Hammer is in the kitchen. On the fridge there is a wedding photo of Hammer and Libby]] Narration: His wife has been "on a business trip" for almost a month. Narration: He suspects she's been cheating. [[Fridge is open, and empty of everything but orange juice and beer.]] Narration: Either way, one thing's for sure. Narration: She hasn't been stocking the fridge. [[Jimmy drinks some orange juice straight from the carton. He is still shirtless.]] Alt Text: Nipples! Issue 1, Page 2

[[INTERIOR: Hammer's Bedroom]]
[[Close up of alarm clock. The time is 7:00. Music has started to play.]]
Narration: Elsewhere...

[[Hammer is asleep on a bare matress. He is wearing nothing but heart boxers. The room is a mess. There are piles of dirty laundry.]]
Narration: Jack "The Hammer" Alexander is late for work.

[[Hammer is in the kitchen. On the fridge there is a wedding photo of Hammer and Libby]]
Narration: His wife has been "on a business trip" for almost a month.
Narration: He suspects she's been cheating.

[[Fridge is open, and empty of everything but orange juice and beer.]]
Narration: Either way, one thing's for sure.
Narration: She hasn't been stocking the fridge.

[[Jimmy drinks some orange juice straight from the carton. He is still shirtless.]]

Alt Text: Nipples!]]> Issue 1, Page 1 http://jimmyandthehammer.com/index.php?date=20090831 http://jimmyandthehammer.com/index.php?date=20090831 Fri, 09 Apr 2010 18:20:26 -0000 <a href="http://jimmyandthehammer.com/index.php?date=20090831">Issue 1, Page 1</a> [[Interior: office building. It is dark inside. There are rows of cubicles, only one is lit up]] Caption: Downtown Edgewater Caption: A monkey sits alone [[Close-up, Jimmy's face]] Jimmy: Calling in just the monkey to work on Saturday? That's racist! Or specist. Whatever the word is, my day could not suck more. [[Jimmy in his cubicle, feet up on desk. He is playing solitaire on his computer. There is fire around him]] Jimmy: Oh. Now the building is on fire. Just swell. Alt Text: He's just upset that he's losing at solitaire. Issue 1, Page 1

[[Interior: office building. It is dark inside. There are rows of cubicles, only one is lit up]]
Caption: Downtown Edgewater
Caption: A monkey sits alone

[[Close-up, Jimmy's face]]
Jimmy: Calling in just the monkey to work on Saturday? That's racist! Or specist. Whatever the word is, my day could not suck more.

[[Jimmy in his cubicle, feet up on desk. He is playing solitaire on his computer. There is fire around him]]
Jimmy: Oh. Now the building is on fire. Just swell.

Alt Text: He's just upset that he's losing at solitaire.]]> Issue 2, Page 8 http://jimmyandthehammer.com/index.php?date=20091214 http://jimmyandthehammer.com/index.php?date=20091214 Mon, 14 Dec 2009 07:12:28 -0000 <a href="http://jimmyandthehammer.com/index.php?date=20091214">Issue 2, Page 8</a> [[Exterior of Hanging Chad's Gasoline - Cloudy evening]] Jimmy (as narrator): I don't like Chad. Jimmy (as narrator): He and Libby met in college. She studied Political Science. He mainly studied beer kegs. Jimmy (as narrator): Whe she moved up here to marry me he followed her. He got a job at the gas station. Jimmy (as narrator): Years later, Chad took over the station when the owner died; he renamed it "Hanging Chad's", partly to impress Libby and partly because City Council wouldn't approve "Well Hung Chad's". Alt Text: He's also the type of guy who thinks a Kobe Bryant Jersey is a Halloween costume. Issue 2, Page 8

[[Exterior of Hanging Chad's Gasoline - Cloudy evening]]
Jimmy (as narrator): I don't like Chad.
Jimmy (as narrator): He and Libby met in college. She studied Political Science. He mainly studied beer kegs.
Jimmy (as narrator): Whe she moved up here to marry me he followed her. He got a job at the gas station.
Jimmy (as narrator): Years later, Chad took over the station when the owner died; he renamed it "Hanging Chad's", partly to impress Libby and partly because City Council wouldn't approve "Well Hung Chad's".

Alt Text: He's also the type of guy who thinks a Kobe Bryant Jersey is a Halloween costume.]]>