Patheticity - latest additions

Patheticity - latest additions http://patheticity.keenspace.com The latest transcribed Patheticity comics, powered by OhNoRobot.com en-us Sun, 19 Apr 2009 20:59:50 -0000 60 Patheticity - Tuesday, August 23, 2005 http://patheticity.keenspace.com/d/20050823.html http://patheticity.keenspace.com/d/20050823.html Tue, 03 Jan 2006 23:08:15 -0000 <a href="http://patheticity.keenspace.com/d/20050823.html">Patheticity - Tuesday, August 23, 2005</a> [[Robo-Jab moves his Robot Arm towards Frank]] Frank: Whoah! Whoah! [[Frank flails his arms around in circles while he begins to fall down]] Frank: Aaaah!! [[Frank falls]] <<THUD>> Robo-Jab: SORRY ABOUT THAT BACK TO MY STUDIES Babette: Maybe there's something in Jab's room that can turn this thing off. Prizma: But the pods! You'll be replicated! Babette: I think I'll take the chance. Calypso: Someone's gotta sacrifice themself, Prizma. Patheticity - Tuesday, August 23, 2005

[[Robo-Jab moves his Robot Arm towards Frank]]
Frank: Whoah! Whoah!

[[Frank flails his arms around in circles while he begins to fall down]]
Frank: Aaaah!!

[[Frank falls]]
<>

Robo-Jab: SORRY ABOUT THAT BACK TO MY STUDIES

Babette: Maybe there's something in Jab's room that can turn this thing off.

Prizma: But the pods! You'll be replicated!

Babette: I think I'll take the chance.
Calypso: Someone's gotta sacrifice themself, Prizma.]]> Patheticity - Wednesday, October 26, 2005 http://patheticity.keenspace.com/d/20051026.html http://patheticity.keenspace.com/d/20051026.html Sun, 01 Jan 2006 17:30:37 -0000 <a href="http://patheticity.keenspace.com/d/20051026.html">Patheticity - Wednesday, October 26, 2005</a> [[Jab and Jessica on a screen]] Mysterious Man One: A perfect example of our trademark efficiency! [[Drink, folder with "BLAINE"]] Mysterious Man Two: Yeah, Getting Blaine away from the Norman situation and taking care of F.E.M. at the same time... [[The screen is now blank]] Mysterious Man Two: Two birds with one stone, eh? Mysterious Man One: Oh, don't tell me you're still bitter about that. Mysterious Man Two: About what? Mysterious Man One: The stupid bird robot! Look, I made a dumb mistake, okay? It's not like it ruined our objective. Mysterious Man Two: What? No! No, that's not what I meant. Mysterious Man One: You know what? Forget this. Mysterious Man One: I don't have to put up with you nitpicking my spy robots. Mysterious Man Two: I'm not nitpicking! It's just a figure of speech! Mysterious Man One: Yeah, sure. I'll see you tomorrow. Maybe. Patheticity - Wednesday, October 26, 2005

[[Jab and Jessica on a screen]]
Mysterious Man One: A perfect example of our trademark efficiency!

[[Drink, folder with "BLAINE"]]
Mysterious Man Two: Yeah, Getting Blaine away from the Norman situation and taking care of F.E.M. at the same time...

[[The screen is now blank]]
Mysterious Man Two: Two birds with one stone, eh?

Mysterious Man One: Oh, don't tell me you're still bitter about that.
Mysterious Man Two: About what?

Mysterious Man One: The stupid bird robot! Look, I made a dumb mistake, okay? It's not like it ruined our objective.
Mysterious Man Two: What? No! No, that's not what I meant.
Mysterious Man One: You know what? Forget this.

Mysterious Man One: I don't have to put up with you nitpicking my spy robots.
Mysterious Man Two: I'm not nitpicking! It's just a figure of speech!
Mysterious Man One: Yeah, sure. I'll see you tomorrow. Maybe.]]> Patheticity - Wednesday, December 7, 2005 http://patheticity.keenspace.com/d/20051207.html http://patheticity.keenspace.com/d/20051207.html Sun, 01 Jan 2006 17:27:59 -0000 <a href="http://patheticity.keenspace.com/d/20051207.html">Patheticity - Wednesday, December 7, 2005</a> [[Leo Theobald Blaine smoking a pipe. A lion's head is mounted on the wall.]] Jab: The Blaines were one of the richest families in England. They were fantastically rich. [[A Jacobite with a tam.]] Jab: But Leo's parents were jackalopes, or freemasons, or something. [[The Jacobite in prison]] Jab: So, they got put in jail, for political reasons. Jab: Leo Theobald Blaine had to get out of England, and he took the Blaine family fortune with him. Jab: But his journey to America was to be a fateful journey, and an ill-fated one at that. Jab: Dum dum DUMMM! Patheticity - Wednesday, December 7, 2005

[[Leo Theobald Blaine smoking a pipe. A lion's head is mounted on the wall.]]
Jab: The Blaines were one of the richest families in England. They were fantastically rich.

[[A Jacobite with a tam.]]
Jab: But Leo's parents were jackalopes, or freemasons, or something.

[[The Jacobite in prison]]
Jab: So, they got put in jail, for political reasons.

Jab: Leo Theobald Blaine had to get out of England, and he took the Blaine family fortune with him.

Jab: But his journey to America was to be a fateful journey, and an ill-fated one at that.

Jab: Dum dum DUMMM!]]> Patheticity - Friday, August 5, 2005 http://patheticity.keenspace.com/d/20050805.html http://patheticity.keenspace.com/d/20050805.html Sun, 01 Jan 2006 17:26:35 -0000 <a href="http://patheticity.keenspace.com/d/20050805.html">Patheticity - Friday, August 5, 2005</a> Prizma: Does anyone else notice something a little off about Jab? Babette: He smells of something unpleasant, he speaks like a four-year-old, and his is invading my personal space. This is not unusual. Calypso: You're right. It's almost as if he wasn't... [[Robo-Jab conversing with a lamp]] Calypso: ...As if he wasn't himself... Robo-Jab: HELLO <<whiz!>> Calypso: Uh-oh. Guys, I think I know what was in that package. Prizma & Babette: What? Calypso: Replicating pods! Patheticity - Friday, August 5, 2005

Prizma: Does anyone else notice something a little off about Jab?

Babette: He smells of something unpleasant, he speaks like a four-year-old, and his is invading my personal space. This is not unusual.

Calypso: You're right. It's almost as if he wasn't...

[[Robo-Jab conversing with a lamp]]
Calypso: ...As if he wasn't himself...
Robo-Jab: HELLO
<>

Calypso: Uh-oh. Guys, I think I know what was in that package.
Prizma & Babette: What?

Calypso: Replicating pods!]]> Patheticity - Wednesday, August 3, 2005 http://patheticity.keenspace.com/d/20050803.html http://patheticity.keenspace.com/d/20050803.html Sun, 01 Jan 2006 17:26:14 -0000 <a href="http://patheticity.keenspace.com/d/20050803.html">Patheticity - Wednesday, August 3, 2005</a> [[Truck labled Truck]] [[Bouncing light fixture]] <<Jangle CLUNK (Truck Sounds)>> Mysterious Man: Try on the disguise, see if it all fits. Jab: Got it. Jab: The wig won't work. My hair's too big. Mysterious Man: Hmm... [[Prizma and Robo-Jab]] Prizma: Are you okay? You sound weird. Robo-Jab: I HAVE A COLD Prizma: You were outside for ten seconds! Robo-Jab: HELLO I AM JAB Robo-Jab: YOUR FRIEND Patheticity - Wednesday, August 3, 2005

[[Truck labled Truck]]

[[Bouncing light fixture]]
<>

Mysterious Man: Try on the disguise, see if it all fits.
Jab: Got it.

Jab: The wig won't work. My hair's too big.
Mysterious Man: Hmm...

[[Prizma and Robo-Jab]]
Prizma: Are you okay? You sound weird.
Robo-Jab: I HAVE A COLD
Prizma: You were outside for ten seconds!
Robo-Jab: HELLO I AM JAB

Robo-Jab: YOUR FRIEND]]> Patheticity - Monday, August 1, 2005 http://patheticity.keenspace.com/d/20050801.html http://patheticity.keenspace.com/d/20050801.html Sun, 01 Jan 2006 17:25:55 -0000 <a href="http://patheticity.keenspace.com/d/20050801.html">Patheticity - Monday, August 1, 2005</a> Mysterious Man: Now, to avoid suspicion, you're going to tell your friends you're going on a walk and you'll be back soon. Jab: Got it. Jab: I guess I'm going on a walk. And I'll be back soon. I'm taking my box with me, okay? ...Bye. [[The mysterious truck is outside of Jab's house]] Jab: Now what? Mysterious Man: Get in the back of the truck that's in front of your house. [[Back of the truck]] Jab: Wow! What the heck is that? Mysterious Man: That's your replacement. Just shove him out the back. [[A robot's treadwheel]] <<VOOSH!>> Priama: That was a pretty short walk, Jab. Robo-Jab: HELLO I AM JAB YOUR FRIEND Patheticity - Monday, August 1, 2005

Mysterious Man: Now, to avoid suspicion, you're going to tell your friends you're going on a walk and you'll be back soon.
Jab: Got it.

Jab: I guess I'm going on a walk. And I'll be back soon. I'm taking my box with me, okay? ...Bye.

[[The mysterious truck is outside of Jab's house]]
Jab: Now what?
Mysterious Man: Get in the back of the truck that's in front of your house.

[[Back of the truck]]
Jab: Wow! What the heck is that?
Mysterious Man: That's your replacement. Just shove him out the back.

[[A robot's treadwheel]]
<>

Priama: That was a pretty short walk, Jab.
Robo-Jab: HELLO I AM JAB YOUR FRIEND]]> Patheticity - Friday, July 15, 2005 http://patheticity.keenspace.com/d/20050715.html http://patheticity.keenspace.com/d/20050715.html Sun, 01 Jan 2006 17:23:05 -0000 <a href="http://patheticity.keenspace.com/d/20050715.html">Patheticity - Friday, July 15, 2005</a> Poncho: Hey, Jab! What'd you get? Jab: A single walkie-talkie. Talk about lame. Mysterious Man: Jab Blaine? Hello? Jab Blaine? Jab: DAAAH! Jab: Oh, dang? What do I do now? Uh... Uh... Jab: "Blaine residence. May I ask who is calling?" Mysterious Man: ...No. Jab: Okay! [[The suspicious truck]] Mysterious Man: Jab, this is important. Are there other people with you? Jab: Uh... no. Mysterious Man: Good. Mysterious Man: What I'm about to tell you involves the entire... male... way of life. Jab: No kiddin'! Mysterious Man: There's a file in your box. Jab: Got it. Mysterious Man: On the first page is a girl. Jab: Got it. [[Paper labled "Top Secret" with a picture of a girl taped to it]] Mysterious Man: That girl is your enemy. She's the leader of a girls-only club with a fiendish plot. Mysterious Man: They seek to take away from boys the very thing that makes them boys! Jab: Oh, no! Jab: That's... awful! Jab: What is that, precisely? [[Another part of the paper, with a picture labled "F.E.M. H.Q."]] Mysterious Man: It's an abstract concept we call "machismo." The club calls itself the Federation to Eliminate Machismo. Mysterious Man: We need you to stop this group's evil plan by going undercover. Jab: Like a spy?! Mysterious Man: Yes, pretty much like a spy. Mysterious Man: In the package is a disguise, consisting of a skirt... Mysterious Man: ...a wig... [[Jab holds a brassiere.]] Mysterious Man: ...and a Jab: What the heck is this? Is it a slingshot? Mysterious Man: ...It's a Jab: Ooh, I remember! [[Jab going through Babette's luggage]] Jab: I found one of these when I was going through Babette's luggage. Jab: Hey, a lighter! Jab: Is it, like, the secret girl identification thingie? Mysterious Man: ...Sure. Mysterious Man: So, Jab, are you up to the mission? Jab: Does the President wear a funny hat? Patheticity - Friday, July 15, 2005

Poncho: Hey, Jab! What'd you get?
Jab: A single walkie-talkie. Talk about lame.

Mysterious Man: Jab Blaine? Hello? Jab Blaine?
Jab: DAAAH!

Jab: Oh, dang? What do I do now? Uh... Uh...

Jab: "Blaine residence. May I ask who is calling?"
Mysterious Man: ...No.
Jab: Okay!

[[The suspicious truck]]
Mysterious Man: Jab, this is important. Are there other people with you?

Jab: Uh... no.
Mysterious Man: Good.

Mysterious Man: What I'm about to tell you involves the entire... male... way of life.
Jab: No kiddin'!

Mysterious Man: There's a file in your box.
Jab: Got it.
Mysterious Man: On the first page is a girl.
Jab: Got it.

[[Paper labled "Top Secret" with a picture of a girl taped to it]]
Mysterious Man: That girl is your enemy. She's the leader of a girls-only club with a fiendish plot.

Mysterious Man: They seek to take away from boys the very thing that makes them boys!
Jab: Oh, no!

Jab: That's... awful!

Jab: What is that, precisely?

[[Another part of the paper, with a picture labled "F.E.M. H.Q."]]
Mysterious Man: It's an abstract concept we call "machismo." The club calls itself the Federation to Eliminate Machismo.

Mysterious Man: We need you to stop this group's evil plan by going undercover.

Jab: Like a spy?!
Mysterious Man: Yes, pretty much like a spy.

Mysterious Man: In the package is a disguise, consisting of a skirt...

Mysterious Man: ...a wig...

[[Jab holds a brassiere.]]
Mysterious Man: ...and a
Jab: What the heck is this? Is it a slingshot?
Mysterious Man: ...It's a
Jab: Ooh, I remember!

[[Jab going through Babette's luggage]]
Jab: I found one of these when I was going through Babette's luggage.
Jab: Hey, a lighter!

Jab: Is it, like, the secret girl identification thingie?
Mysterious Man: ...Sure.

Mysterious Man: So, Jab, are you up to the mission?
Jab: Does the President wear a funny hat?]]> Patheticity - Wednesday, July 13, 2005 http://patheticity.keenspace.com/d/20050713.html http://patheticity.keenspace.com/d/20050713.html Sun, 01 Jan 2006 17:21:01 -0000 <a href="http://patheticity.keenspace.com/d/20050713.html">Patheticity - Wednesday, July 13, 2005</a> Prizma: Weren't you going to talk to Calypso about something? Jab: Uh, no? I'm going to open my package. Calypso: Did that come in the mail? What's in it? Prizma: Oh, we don't know. Jab: Hey! Tell Calypso about Frank and how he's gonna set up with her, or whatever! Hey, Calypso, when I'm done there's some girl things you have to explain to me. [[Jab in thought]] Jab: Oohohoho, this is great. I bet it's a laser or an amoeba or something cool. Jab: Hey, a walkie-talkie! I love these things! <<ooh!>> Jab: It's only one walkie-talkie. Where's the other one? You kinda need two of these things, people. Patheticity - Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Prizma: Weren't you going to talk to Calypso about something?
Jab: Uh, no? I'm going to open my package.

Calypso: Did that come in the mail? What's in it?
Prizma: Oh, we don't know.

Jab: Hey! Tell Calypso about Frank and how he's gonna set up with her, or whatever! Hey, Calypso, when I'm done there's some girl things you have to explain to me.

[[Jab in thought]]
Jab: Oohohoho, this is great. I bet it's a laser or an amoeba or something cool.

Jab: Hey, a walkie-talkie! I love these things!
<>

Jab: It's only one walkie-talkie. Where's the other one? You kinda need two of these things, people.]]> Patheticity - Monday, July 11, 2005 http://patheticity.keenspace.com/d/20050711.html http://patheticity.keenspace.com/d/20050711.html Sun, 01 Jan 2006 17:20:45 -0000 <a href="http://patheticity.keenspace.com/d/20050711.html">Patheticity - Monday, July 11, 2005</a> [[In the secret hideout]] Mysterious Man One: Oh, dang! He's almost to his house! Mysterious Man Two: Dang! Deploy the truck! [[A truck labled "Truck" on a street]] <<SCREEECH>> Mysterious Man Three: Deploying the truck! [[A bewildered looking Prizma, Babette, and Jab]] <<VROOOOMMMMM>> [[A package flies at Jab]] Mysterious Man Three: Hello package for Jab Blaine ah that must be you well here you go all right I must be going see you later! [[Truck barreling off into the distance]] <<VROOOOOOOOMMMM>> Prizma: That was odd. Babette: That was suspicious. Jab: COOL! Patheticity - Monday, July 11, 2005

[[In the secret hideout]]
Mysterious Man One: Oh, dang! He's almost to his house!
Mysterious Man Two: Dang! Deploy the truck!

[[A truck labled "Truck" on a street]]
<>
Mysterious Man Three: Deploying the truck!

[[A bewildered looking Prizma, Babette, and Jab]]
<>

[[A package flies at Jab]]
Mysterious Man Three: Hello package for Jab Blaine ah that must be you well here you go all right I must be going see you later!

[[Truck barreling off into the distance]]
<>

Prizma: That was odd.
Babette: That was suspicious.
Jab: COOL!]]> Patheticity - Saturday, July 9, 2005 http://patheticity.keenspace.com/d/20050709.html http://patheticity.keenspace.com/d/20050709.html Sun, 01 Jan 2006 17:19:36 -0000 <a href="http://patheticity.keenspace.com/d/20050709.html">Patheticity - Saturday, July 9, 2005</a> [[A lone bird flies through the air while Prizma, Babette, and Jab discuss romance]] Prizma: Well, wouldn't you want to know if some guy you didn't know was drooling over you? Babette: Ah... No. And I believe that I am speaking for Calypso, as well. [[The bird lands on a tree branch]] Prizma: You don't know that! Romance and crushes and stuff are different in America! Jab: Hey! Hey, hold on a sec. [[Close-up on the bird]] Jab: I don't care about Calypso or Frank, okay? But I'm sick of listening to your stupid girl talk and not understanding anything. [[Close-up on the bird's mechanical eye]] Jab: So start speaking English and explain this to me. Prizma: Um... Hey, check out that bird! Prizma: I figured they would all have flown south for the Winter by now. It's January, little birdie! Fly to Florida! Jab: ...I'll just ask Calypso {{Meanwhile, in a secret base}} Mysterious Man One: South for the Winter! Duh! Mysterious Man Two: I told you we should have made a polar bear spy robot. Patheticity - Saturday, July 9, 2005

[[A lone bird flies through the air while Prizma, Babette, and Jab discuss romance]]
Prizma: Well, wouldn't you want to know if some guy you didn't know was drooling over you?
Babette: Ah... No. And I believe that I am speaking for Calypso, as well.

[[The bird lands on a tree branch]]
Prizma: You don't know that! Romance and crushes and stuff are different in America!
Jab: Hey! Hey, hold on a sec.

[[Close-up on the bird]]
Jab: I don't care about Calypso or Frank, okay? But I'm sick of listening to your stupid girl talk and not understanding anything.

[[Close-up on the bird's mechanical eye]]
Jab: So start speaking English and explain this to me.
Prizma: Um... Hey, check out that bird!

Prizma: I figured they would all have flown south for the Winter by now. It's January, little birdie! Fly to Florida!
Jab: ...I'll just ask Calypso

{{Meanwhile, in a secret base}}
Mysterious Man One: South for the Winter! Duh!
Mysterious Man Two: I told you we should have made a polar bear spy robot.]]>