Up to my Nipples - latest additions

Up to my Nipples - latest additions http://uptomynipples.com The latest transcribed Up to my Nipples comics, powered by OhNoRobot.com en-us Thu, 13 Jun 2013 00:12:02 -0000 60 186 - 06/12/13 - Cream of Clairvoyance http://uptomynipples.com/comics/cream-of-clairvoyance/ http://uptomynipples.com/comics/cream-of-clairvoyance/ Wed, 12 Jun 2013 23:42:51 -0000 <a href="http://uptomynipples.com/comics/cream-of-clairvoyance/">186 - 06/12/13 - Cream of Clairvoyance</a> [[Man subtly happy sitting at table eating porridge]] [[Man dreaming of seeing a seer.] [[Seer with porridge bubble.]] [[Just top of heads. Man upset.]] [[Dreams in pastel/hand drawn.]] [[Playing soccer.]] [[Marriage proposal.]] [[Car crash.]] [[Seer responds with just porridge.]] [[Man subtly unhappy sitting at table eating porridge.]] 186 - 06/12/13 - Cream of Clairvoyance

[[Man subtly happy sitting at table eating porridge]]
[[Man dreaming of seeing a seer.]

[[Seer with porridge bubble.]]

[[Just top of heads. Man upset.]]
[[Dreams in pastel/hand drawn.]]
[[Playing soccer.]]
[[Marriage proposal.]]
[[Car crash.]]
[[Seer responds with just porridge.]]

[[Man subtly unhappy sitting at table eating porridge.]]]]> 185 - 05/22/13 - Oh Henry http://uptomynipples.com/comics/oh-henry/ http://uptomynipples.com/comics/oh-henry/ Wed, 22 May 2013 12:44:49 -0000 <a href="http://uptomynipples.com/comics/oh-henry/">185 - 05/22/13 - Oh Henry</a> [[Cameras, microphone with grip. Gathered crowd.]] [[John Henry looking knowingly.]] Reporter: John Henry IV, how do you think you'll fare against the machine come Tuesday? [[Machine and John Henry getting ready to start.]] Guy with starting pistol: 3... Guy with starting pistol:2... Guy with starting pistol:1... Guy with starting pistol: GO! [[Henry's position unchanged, Machine laid track far into the distance.]] Worker in machine: [[smaller bubble]] ...aaand... Worker in machine: [[smaller bubble]] done! 185 - 05/22/13 - Oh Henry

[[Cameras, microphone with grip. Gathered crowd.]]
[[John Henry looking knowingly.]]
Reporter: John Henry IV, how do you think you'll fare against the machine come Tuesday?

[[Machine and John Henry getting ready to start.]]
Guy with starting pistol: 3...
Guy with starting pistol:2...
Guy with starting pistol:1...

Guy with starting pistol: GO!
[[Henry's position unchanged, Machine laid track far into the distance.]]
Worker in machine: [[smaller bubble]] ...aaand...
Worker in machine: [[smaller bubble]] done!]]> 184 - 05/15/13 - Unexpected Development http://uptomynipples.com/comics/unexpected-development/ http://uptomynipples.com/comics/unexpected-development/ Wed, 15 May 2013 19:30:54 -0000 <a href="http://uptomynipples.com/comics/unexpected-development/">184 - 05/15/13 - Unexpected Development</a> Narrator: 1980. Head: Let's hear game ideas. I'm thinking scary. [[People serious around board table except Developer 3, who's already nuts.]] Developer 1: Getting chased... Head: Mmm hmm. Developer 1: ...relentless enemies out to kill. Developer 2: In a maze. Head: Okay. Developer 3: Like The Shining! Head: Love it! [[Developers excited.]] [[Developer 2 pointing downwards emphatically.]] Developer 1: And the bad guys are horrible, scary like wolves. Developer 3: Or werewolves. Developer 2: No! Ghosts! Even if you [[italics]]think[[/italics]] you kill them, they come back. Developer 3: Cause they're ghosts, so they're already dead! Head: Brilliant! [[Developers off the wall bouncing excited, Head guy distressed.]] Developer 3: And...and the only reason you're even in this maze...is cause you're hungry. Head: What? Developer 2: Really hungry. And there's food everywhere. And sometimes fruit. Developer 3: Fruit! Head: What!? Developer 1: And you yourself are a delicious wheel of cheese. With one desire. One drive. Developer 3: Insatiable hunger! Head: Guys, I don't..[[cut off]] Developer 2: And if those ghosts try to get in your way, you'll eat them too. Developers: Yeah! Yeah! Narrator: Pacman: One catered lunch from the scariest game ever. 184 - 05/15/13 - Unexpected Development

Narrator: 1980.
Head: Let's hear game ideas. I'm thinking scary.

[[People serious around board table except Developer 3, who's already nuts.]]
Developer 1: Getting chased...
Head: Mmm hmm.
Developer 1: ...relentless enemies out to kill.
Developer 2: In a maze.
Head: Okay.
Developer 3: Like The Shining!
Head: Love it!

[[Developers excited.]]
[[Developer 2 pointing downwards emphatically.]]
Developer 1: And the bad guys are horrible, scary like wolves.
Developer 3: Or werewolves.
Developer 2: No! Ghosts! Even if you [[italics]]think[[/italics]] you kill them, they come back.
Developer 3: Cause they're ghosts, so they're already dead!
Head: Brilliant!

[[Developers off the wall bouncing excited, Head guy distressed.]]
Developer 3: And...and the only reason you're even in this maze...is cause you're hungry.
Head: What?
Developer 2: Really hungry. And there's food everywhere. And sometimes fruit.
Developer 3: Fruit!
Head: What!?

Developer 1: And you yourself are a delicious wheel of cheese. With one desire. One drive.
Developer 3: Insatiable hunger!
Head: Guys, I don't..[[cut off]]
Developer 2: And if those ghosts try to get in your way, you'll eat them too.
Developers: Yeah! Yeah!
Narrator: Pacman: One catered lunch from the scariest game ever.]]> 183 - 05/01/13 - Personal Reflection http://uptomynipples.com/comics/personal-reflection/ http://uptomynipples.com/comics/personal-reflection/ Wed, 01 May 2013 18:43:01 -0000 <a href="http://uptomynipples.com/comics/personal-reflection/">183 - 05/01/13 - Personal Reflection</a> [[Man pointing at long oval-shaped mirror.]] Man: Chin up. You can do this. Man: You'll be great. [[Fixing his tie.]] Man: You're strong. Steady with a quiet confidence. Man: You see the world as it is. [[Two big movers carrying the mirror out.]] Man: You go and knock 'em dead, Mirror. 183 - 05/01/13 - Personal Reflection

[[Man pointing at long oval-shaped mirror.]]
Man: Chin up. You can do this.
Man: You'll be great.

[[Fixing his tie.]]
Man: You're strong. Steady with a quiet confidence.
Man: You see the world as it is.

[[Two big movers carrying the mirror out.]]
Man: You go and knock 'em dead, Mirror.]]> 182 - 04/24/13 - Safety Manual http://uptomynipples.com/comics/safety-manual/ http://uptomynipples.com/comics/safety-manual/ Wed, 24 Apr 2013 18:34:36 -0000 <a href="http://uptomynipples.com/comics/safety-manual/">182 - 04/24/13 - Safety Manual</a> Narrator: In the event of a sudden decrease in cabin pressure, an oxygen mask will drop from the ceiling compartment above you. Narrator: Place the mask over your mouth and nose and tighten the elastic strap until the mask fits securely. Narrator: If you're not a Jetventure Rewards[[trademark symbol]] member, and you wish to receive oxygen, swipe any major credit card through the reader. 182 - 04/24/13 - Safety Manual

Narrator: In the event of a sudden decrease in cabin pressure, an oxygen mask will drop from the ceiling compartment above you.

Narrator: Place the mask over your mouth and nose and tighten the elastic strap until the mask fits securely.

Narrator: If you're not a Jetventure Rewards[[trademark symbol]] member, and you wish to receive oxygen, swipe any major credit card through the reader.]]> 181 - 04/17/13 - Pee, B, & Jellyfish http://uptomynipples.com/comics/pee-b-jellyfish/ http://uptomynipples.com/comics/pee-b-jellyfish/ Wed, 17 Apr 2013 10:00:43 -0000 <a href="http://uptomynipples.com/comics/pee-b-jellyfish/">181 - 04/17/13 - Pee, B, & Jellyfish</a> [[Woman in bathing suit hovering over a shirtless guy lying on his back on the sand next to the ocean. Big rebar through lower abdomen.]] Woman: HELP! Woman: HELP! Woman: This man needs medical attention. [[Real lifeguard pushing a beach doctor, M.D. out of the way..]] Guy: Outta the way! Guy: I got this. [[Woman now standing watching.]] [[Guy back to the panel peeing.]] Doctor:[[off panel]] Stop that! Doctor: What are you doing!? [[Doctor joining in the peeing.]] Doctor: Proper procedure would dictate we urinate directly on the wound. 181 - 04/17/13 - Pee, B, & Jellyfish

[[Woman in bathing suit hovering over a shirtless guy lying on his back on the sand next to the ocean. Big rebar through lower abdomen.]]
Woman: HELP!
Woman: HELP!
Woman: This man needs medical attention.

[[Real lifeguard pushing a beach doctor, M.D. out of the way..]]
Guy: Outta the way!
Guy: I got this.

[[Woman now standing watching.]]
[[Guy back to the panel peeing.]]
Doctor:[[off panel]] Stop that!
Doctor: What are you doing!?

[[Doctor joining in the peeing.]]
Doctor: Proper procedure would dictate we urinate directly on the wound.]]> 180 - 04/10/13 - Sundae, Bloody Sundae http://uptomynipples.com/comics/sundae-bloody-sundae/ http://uptomynipples.com/comics/sundae-bloody-sundae/ Wed, 10 Apr 2013 18:12:21 -0000 <a href="http://uptomynipples.com/comics/sundae-bloody-sundae/">180 - 04/10/13 - Sundae, Bloody Sundae</a> [[Man and baby bear at an ice cream parlor. Man eating ice cream gentlemanly. Bear ravaging an ice-cream sundae.]] Narrator: "Don't tell mom." 180 - 04/10/13 - Sundae, Bloody Sundae

[[Man and baby bear at an ice cream parlor. Man eating ice cream gentlemanly. Bear ravaging an ice-cream sundae.]]
Narrator: "Don't tell mom."]]> 179 - 04/03/13 - On the Fritz http://uptomynipples.com/comics/on-the-fritz/ http://uptomynipples.com/comics/on-the-fritz/ Wed, 03 Apr 2013 09:14:24 -0000 <a href="http://uptomynipples.com/comics/on-the-fritz/">179 - 04/03/13 - On the Fritz</a> [[Close up of cat stretching for mouse under a stove.]] Pet Owner: Fritzy, I know you saw a mouse run under the stove, but waiting there's not gonna make him come out any faster. [[Man split leg over the cat, frying.]] Pet Owner: Fritz, you gotta move. [[Man butt out legs far away. Both feet behind the cat.]] Pet Owner: Fritz! [[Lying across two stools set up behind Fritz.]] Pet Owner: *grumble* [[Man reaching under the stove himself. Whole arm under.]] Pet Owner: ...almost gotcha... [[Man starting under stove next to cat staring under stove.]] 179 - 04/03/13 - On the Fritz

[[Close up of cat stretching for mouse under a stove.]]
Pet Owner: Fritzy, I know you saw a mouse run under the stove, but waiting there's not gonna make him come out any faster.

[[Man split leg over the cat, frying.]]
Pet Owner: Fritz, you gotta move.

[[Man butt out legs far away. Both feet behind the cat.]]
Pet Owner: Fritz!

[[Lying across two stools set up behind Fritz.]]
Pet Owner: *grumble*

[[Man reaching under the stove himself. Whole arm under.]]
Pet Owner: ...almost gotcha...

[[Man starting under stove next to cat staring under stove.]]]]> 178 - 03/27/13 - Catch 22 Lbs http://uptomynipples.com/comics/catch-22-lbs/ http://uptomynipples.com/comics/catch-22-lbs/ Wed, 27 Mar 2013 19:59:20 -0000 <a href="http://uptomynipples.com/comics/catch-22-lbs/">178 - 03/27/13 - Catch 22 Lbs</a> [[Gretchen hovering over a pram.]] Gretchen: Awww, what a cute baby! Gretchen: Look at his puffy little cheeks. [[Angry mother]] Mom: His cheeks are puffy because he has Lyme disease. 178 - 03/27/13 - Catch 22 Lbs

[[Gretchen hovering over a pram.]]
Gretchen: Awww, what a cute baby!
Gretchen: Look at his puffy little cheeks.

[[Angry mother]]
Mom: His cheeks are puffy because he has Lyme disease.]]> 177 - 03/20/13 - Home Improvement http://uptomynipples.com/comics/home-improvement/ http://uptomynipples.com/comics/home-improvement/ Wed, 20 Mar 2013 20:23:48 -0000 <a href="http://uptomynipples.com/comics/home-improvement/">177 - 03/20/13 - Home Improvement</a> [[Blue Print of tree house. Floor 3 of 3. Green house. Sauna. Elevator. Trash shoot. Board room with snack table. Lots of amenities.]] [[THWACK! THWACK! THWACK!]] [[Dad hammering on the roof. THWACK! THWACK! THWACK!]] [[ Kid yelling out window up at Dad.]] Kid: Daaaaaaddd! Kid: We're trying to have a meeting here! Dad: Sorry, kiddo. [[Dad walking back into his dilapidated house.]] Angry wife: I've been telling you for weeks. You need to fix the hot water heater. Angry wife: Now. [[Dad looking out onto yard with treehouse, garbage coming out the shoot.]] Dad: You know I don't have the time or energy for that. 177 - 03/20/13 - Home Improvement

[[Blue Print of tree house. Floor 3 of 3. Green house. Sauna. Elevator. Trash shoot. Board room with snack table. Lots of amenities.]]
[[THWACK! THWACK! THWACK!]]

[[Dad hammering on the roof. THWACK! THWACK! THWACK!]]
[[ Kid yelling out window up at Dad.]]
Kid: Daaaaaaddd!
Kid: We're trying to have a meeting here!
Dad: Sorry, kiddo.

[[Dad walking back into his dilapidated house.]]
Angry wife: I've been telling you for weeks. You need to fix the hot water heater.
Angry wife: Now.

[[Dad looking out onto yard with treehouse, garbage coming out the shoot.]]
Dad: You know I don't have the time or energy for that.]]>