http://www.qwantz.com The latest transcribed Dinosaur Comics comics, powered by OhNoRobot.com en-us Fri, 16 Dec 2011 15:42:03 -0000 60 http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=2053 http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=2053 Fri, 16 Dec 2011 15:31:05 -0000 <a href="http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=2053">sometimes i imagine my life where i write the same comics i've been writing, but instead of publishing them online i put them in a big stack, or, you know, wallpaper my house with them and never invite anyone over. hah! WHO IS THE CRAZY ONE NOW</a><br> <br> T-Rex: You know those guys who are quiet and unassuming but when they die folks look in their house and find an AMAZING unpublished manuscript that nobody know they were writing? <br> T-Rex: I would like to be one of those guys, please! <br> <br> T-Rex: I would also like not to die, please! <br> <br> T-Rex: All I REALLY want is someone to look through my stuff when I'm not around and find something that makes them say, "Wow, T-Rex had such a rich and inner life and incredibly powerful imagination; I guess he really WAS one of the greatest minds of this or - I'll say it - any other generation." <br> Dromiceiomimus: What did you have in mind to leave behind to make people say this? <br> T-Rex: I dunno - neatly pressed shirts? <br> <br> Utahraptor: Neatly pressed shirts. Really? <br> T-Rex: Incidentally, do you know how to press shirts? <br> <br> Utahraptor: I do, yes, because I am an adult. Listen, if you ARE secretly working on a 15,145 page magnum opus or something, the whole point of this is you're never supposed to mention it! Otherwise we might suspect and the surprise is RUINED. <br> T-Rex: Suspect what? That I'm secretly a genius author? Allow me to be the first to say: <br> <br> T-Rex: PROCEED sometimes i imagine my life where i write the same comics i've been writing, but instead of publishing them online i put them in a big stack, or, you know, wallpaper my house with them and never invite anyone over. hah! WHO IS THE CRAZY ONE NOW

T-Rex: You know those guys who are quiet and unassuming but when they die folks look in their house and find an AMAZING unpublished manuscript that nobody know they were writing?
T-Rex: I would like to be one of those guys, please!

T-Rex: I would also like not to die, please!

T-Rex: All I REALLY want is someone to look through my stuff when I'm not around and find something that makes them say, "Wow, T-Rex had such a rich and inner life and incredibly powerful imagination; I guess he really WAS one of the greatest minds of this or - I'll say it - any other generation."
Dromiceiomimus: What did you have in mind to leave behind to make people say this?
T-Rex: I dunno - neatly pressed shirts?

Utahraptor: Neatly pressed shirts. Really?
T-Rex: Incidentally, do you know how to press shirts?

Utahraptor: I do, yes, because I am an adult. Listen, if you ARE secretly working on a 15,145 page magnum opus or something, the whole point of this is you're never supposed to mention it! Otherwise we might suspect and the surprise is RUINED.
T-Rex: Suspect what? That I'm secretly a genius author? Allow me to be the first to say:

T-Rex: PROCEED]]> http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=2052 http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=2052 Fri, 16 Dec 2011 15:30:32 -0000 <a href="http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=2052">the more i think about it the more it seems god powers are a pretty sweet deal. i guess this thought has been had before?</a><br> <br> God: T-REX WHY DON'T YOU RATE ALL YOUR FRIEND FROM BEST TO WORST <br> T-Rex: That sounds like a recipe for social disaster! <br> God: AND INCLUDE ME ON THE LIST <br> God: GOD <br> <br> God: THE DUDE WHO INVENTED EVERYTHING <br> T-Rex: Maaan! <br> <br> T-Rex: You're totally assuming that there's one ranking that captures an entire friendship! The rating would be different if I'm going by helpfulness in an underwater adventure or by usefulness in a situation in which claws are needed! <br> God: OKAY THAT'S NICE BUT I'M KINDA GOD OVER HERE AND IF I NEED CLAWS I CAN GROW THEM <br> God: AS SO <br> God: *SNIKT* <br> <br> God: I'VE GOT WOLVERINE CLAWS LIKE FROM THE COMIC WOLVERINE <br> T-Rex: Aw geez! <br> Utahraptor: What's up? <br> <br> T-Rex: God gave himself Wolverine claws. But I can't imagine what possible use they'd have for a divine being! <br> Utahraptor: Well, if you had god powers, wouldn't YOU use them to get Wolverine claws? <br> T-Rex: Obvs, but I kinda thought that was the reason why I didn't have god powers! <br> <br> God: I'M THE BEST THERE IS AT WHAT I DO T-REX <br> God: AND WHAT I DO SURPASSES ALL MORTAL UNDERSTANDING <br> T-Rex: Maaaaaaaan the more i think about it the more it seems god powers are a pretty sweet deal. i guess this thought has been had before?

God: T-REX WHY DON'T YOU RATE ALL YOUR FRIEND FROM BEST TO WORST
T-Rex: That sounds like a recipe for social disaster!
God: AND INCLUDE ME ON THE LIST
God: GOD

God: THE DUDE WHO INVENTED EVERYTHING
T-Rex: Maaan!

T-Rex: You're totally assuming that there's one ranking that captures an entire friendship! The rating would be different if I'm going by helpfulness in an underwater adventure or by usefulness in a situation in which claws are needed!
God: OKAY THAT'S NICE BUT I'M KINDA GOD OVER HERE AND IF I NEED CLAWS I CAN GROW THEM
God: AS SO
God: *SNIKT*

God: I'VE GOT WOLVERINE CLAWS LIKE FROM THE COMIC WOLVERINE
T-Rex: Aw geez!
Utahraptor: What's up?

T-Rex: God gave himself Wolverine claws. But I can't imagine what possible use they'd have for a divine being!
Utahraptor: Well, if you had god powers, wouldn't YOU use them to get Wolverine claws?
T-Rex: Obvs, but I kinda thought that was the reason why I didn't have god powers!

God: I'M THE BEST THERE IS AT WHAT I DO T-REX
God: AND WHAT I DO SURPASSES ALL MORTAL UNDERSTANDING
T-Rex: Maaaaaaaan]]> http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=2051 http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=2051 Fri, 16 Dec 2011 15:30:29 -0000 <a href="http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=2051">i've said this before, but the fact that "species" is its own plural is SO CONVENIENT. i definitely need to write the OED more fan mail.</a><br> <br> God: T-REX WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE COLOR <br> T-Rex: Narrow it to a shade, brotimes! <br> God: T-REX WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SHADE OF BROWN <br> <br> T-Rex: Dude! It's this delightful deep brown, kind of a burnt umber? <br> <br> T-Rex: It was a super popular color with 16th and 17th centruy painters. It only stopped being made when we used up the necessary ingredients. <br> Dromiceiomimus: Really! Which ingredient did we use up? <br> T-Rex: Well, I don't want this to be a "thing", Dromiceiomimus, but it's called "mummy brown" and it's KINDA made from ground-up mummies. <br> <br> Utahraptor: It's "kinda" made from ground-up mummies? <br> T-Rex: OKAY IT'S LITERALLY MADE FROM GROUND-UP MUMMIES. <br> <br> T-Rex: We dug up actual consecrated remains and ground 'em into dust and painted with them, OKAY?? And we kept it up for generations, stopping only when the corpses ran out. I don't know what this says about us as a people, but we've all just got to live with it. PAINTING WITH GROUND-UP BODIES: A A PART OF OUR HERITAGE. <br> <br> Narrator: MEANWHILE IN THE UNIVERSE WHERE T-REX IS MAKING FIRST CONTACT WITH AN INCREDIBLY POWERFUL ALIEN INTELLIGENCE: <br> Alien: Our first test of your species is this: tell us about your favourite shade of brown, T-Rex. <br> T-Rex: Um... ha ha i've said this before, but the fact that "species" is its own plural is SO CONVENIENT. i definitely need to write the OED more fan mail.

God: T-REX WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE COLOR
T-Rex: Narrow it to a shade, brotimes!
God: T-REX WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SHADE OF BROWN

T-Rex: Dude! It's this delightful deep brown, kind of a burnt umber?

T-Rex: It was a super popular color with 16th and 17th centruy painters. It only stopped being made when we used up the necessary ingredients.
Dromiceiomimus: Really! Which ingredient did we use up?
T-Rex: Well, I don't want this to be a "thing", Dromiceiomimus, but it's called "mummy brown" and it's KINDA made from ground-up mummies.

Utahraptor: It's "kinda" made from ground-up mummies?
T-Rex: OKAY IT'S LITERALLY MADE FROM GROUND-UP MUMMIES.

T-Rex: We dug up actual consecrated remains and ground 'em into dust and painted with them, OKAY?? And we kept it up for generations, stopping only when the corpses ran out. I don't know what this says about us as a people, but we've all just got to live with it. PAINTING WITH GROUND-UP BODIES: A A PART OF OUR HERITAGE.

Narrator: MEANWHILE IN THE UNIVERSE WHERE T-REX IS MAKING FIRST CONTACT WITH AN INCREDIBLY POWERFUL ALIEN INTELLIGENCE:
Alien: Our first test of your species is this: tell us about your favourite shade of brown, T-Rex.
T-Rex: Um... ha ha]]> http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=2049 http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=2049 Fri, 16 Dec 2011 15:30:08 -0000 <a href="http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=2049">I was working on this comic back during SDCC and Chris "Dr. McNinja" Hastings offered to help me with it, so I read him the first three panels and he stared at me and said "I think you've got your own thing going, buddy" and we never spoke of it again</a><br> <br> T-Rex: Two people decide that they've got some genitals they're not using right now, and that THIS, my friend, is kind of a waste! <br> <br> Narrator: SEX AS SHE IS PLAYED <br> <br> T-Rex: So they agree that it's time to sex, and then they go away and we all wonder what's going on! But not for too long because one comes out and says "We're gonna 'do it'" and we all go "Ohhhhh" and then they come back again and say "That means we're gonna have sexual intercourse" and the last person goes "OHHHHH." He's the slow one. <br> Dromeciomimus: OHHHHH. <br> <br> Utahraptor: Then what happens? <br> T-Rex: Then we cheat! WE CHEAT BIOLOGY ITSELF. <br> <br> T-Rex: Millions of years of evolution made sex feel amazing and be super hot so we'd do it all the time and make babies! But we use birth control and have awesome fun times WITHOUT a lifetime of parental responsibility. Take that, evolution! Take that, biology! Take that, ADULT RESPONSIBILITIES!! <br> <br> T-Rex: I'd now like to address my body directly from a moment. Thanks for teaming up with science and being SO AWESOME, my body. Seriously: thanks bro. <br> Off-screen: *ahem* <br> T-Rex: Some thanks go out to the bodies of everyone else too I GUESS I was working on this comic back during SDCC and Chris "Dr. McNinja" Hastings offered to help me with it, so I read him the first three panels and he stared at me and said "I think you've got your own thing going, buddy" and we never spoke of it again

T-Rex: Two people decide that they've got some genitals they're not using right now, and that THIS, my friend, is kind of a waste!

Narrator: SEX AS SHE IS PLAYED

T-Rex: So they agree that it's time to sex, and then they go away and we all wonder what's going on! But not for too long because one comes out and says "We're gonna 'do it'" and we all go "Ohhhhh" and then they come back again and say "That means we're gonna have sexual intercourse" and the last person goes "OHHHHH." He's the slow one.
Dromeciomimus: OHHHHH.

Utahraptor: Then what happens?
T-Rex: Then we cheat! WE CHEAT BIOLOGY ITSELF.

T-Rex: Millions of years of evolution made sex feel amazing and be super hot so we'd do it all the time and make babies! But we use birth control and have awesome fun times WITHOUT a lifetime of parental responsibility. Take that, evolution! Take that, biology! Take that, ADULT RESPONSIBILITIES!!

T-Rex: I'd now like to address my body directly from a moment. Thanks for teaming up with science and being SO AWESOME, my body. Seriously: thanks bro.
Off-screen: *ahem*
T-Rex: Some thanks go out to the bodies of everyone else too I GUESS]]> http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=2048 http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=2048 Fri, 16 Dec 2011 15:30:04 -0000 <a href="http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=2048">it has has remained unpatched since first self-reported in 1990 by Tim Berners-Lee</a><br> <br> T-Rex: Does anybody else want Mexican food for dinner? Like - always? Like 24 hours a day I would eat Mexican food if it were physically possible? <br> <br> Narrator: DOES ANYBODY ELSE <br> <br> Dromiceiomimus: Does anybody else find themselves getting sincerely angry at what fictional characters do? I think about it often. Maybe too often? <br> Dromiceiomimus: I don't know. <br> Dromiceiomimus: Why do they make so many mistakes? <br> <br> Utahraptor: Does anybody else like sleeping when they're tired? <br> T-Rex: Me! I TOTALLY do! <br> <br> T-Rex: Does anybody else find foods that are heavy in protein, salts, and fats to be delicious? <br> Utahraptor: I do! Does anybody else sometimes wish the things they regret had gone differently? <br> T-Rex: *gasp* <br> T-Rex: Sometimes I do wish that!! <br> <br> Narrator: LATER <br> T-Rex: Does anyone else's web browser have this weird bug here the internet's really boring and then you get sad it has has remained unpatched since first self-reported in 1990 by Tim Berners-Lee

T-Rex: Does anybody else want Mexican food for dinner? Like - always? Like 24 hours a day I would eat Mexican food if it were physically possible?

Narrator: DOES ANYBODY ELSE

Dromiceiomimus: Does anybody else find themselves getting sincerely angry at what fictional characters do? I think about it often. Maybe too often?
Dromiceiomimus: I don't know.
Dromiceiomimus: Why do they make so many mistakes?

Utahraptor: Does anybody else like sleeping when they're tired?
T-Rex: Me! I TOTALLY do!

T-Rex: Does anybody else find foods that are heavy in protein, salts, and fats to be delicious?
Utahraptor: I do! Does anybody else sometimes wish the things they regret had gone differently?
T-Rex: *gasp*
T-Rex: Sometimes I do wish that!!

Narrator: LATER
T-Rex: Does anyone else's web browser have this weird bug here the internet's really boring and then you get sad]]> http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=2047 http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=2047 Fri, 16 Dec 2011 15:30:02 -0000 <a href="http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=2047">one of my favourite baseball memories is having to play it with a glove on my wrong hand, so that when i did catch a ball I had to throw it with my weak hand, which resulted in a throw so pathetic that even i was laughing at how ridiculous it was. hey la</a><br> <br> T-Rex: You and your friends stand in a field, alone, too far away to really talk to each other. You wait there while someone else's friends line up and take turns hitting balls at you. And it's not like they're soft. They're really hard. You can catch them if you want. <br> <br> Narrator: BASEBALL AS SHE IS PLAYED <br> <br> T-Rex: If you catch the ball, then they don't get a point, nothing changes, and we've all been wasting our time. If you DON'T catch the ball, then they get to run in a big circle and get some points based on how much of a circle they ran in. A full circle is worth a whopping one point! Also, no fractional points are awarded. Have fun, you guys! <br> <br> Utahraptor: This doesn't sound like a very interesting game! <br> T-Rex: Hah! Oh, Utahraptor. <br> <br> T-Rex: Baseball isn't played because it's INTERESTING. Baseball is played because without darkness we would not appreciate the light: without sorrow, we would not appreciate joy. Baseball makes us savour life and reminds us to treasure every second we have on this beautiful planet, because such moments may never come again. <br> <br> T-Rex: Baseball is played, my dear friend, because without it we would not appreciate the times when we don't have to play baseball. <br> Narrator: THE END one of my favourite baseball memories is having to play it with a glove on my wrong hand, so that when i did catch a ball I had to throw it with my weak hand, which resulted in a throw so pathetic that even i was laughing at how ridiculous it was. hey la

T-Rex: You and your friends stand in a field, alone, too far away to really talk to each other. You wait there while someone else's friends line up and take turns hitting balls at you. And it's not like they're soft. They're really hard. You can catch them if you want.

Narrator: BASEBALL AS SHE IS PLAYED

T-Rex: If you catch the ball, then they don't get a point, nothing changes, and we've all been wasting our time. If you DON'T catch the ball, then they get to run in a big circle and get some points based on how much of a circle they ran in. A full circle is worth a whopping one point! Also, no fractional points are awarded. Have fun, you guys!

Utahraptor: This doesn't sound like a very interesting game!
T-Rex: Hah! Oh, Utahraptor.

T-Rex: Baseball isn't played because it's INTERESTING. Baseball is played because without darkness we would not appreciate the light: without sorrow, we would not appreciate joy. Baseball makes us savour life and reminds us to treasure every second we have on this beautiful planet, because such moments may never come again.

T-Rex: Baseball is played, my dear friend, because without it we would not appreciate the times when we don't have to play baseball.
Narrator: THE END]]> http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=2046 http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=2046 Fri, 16 Dec 2011 15:29:58 -0000 <a href="http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=2046">what utahraptor said was METAPHORICALLY watertight. if you believe t-rex is looking over his shoulder at an offscreen viable ship in panel five and commenting on its seaworthiness, then what the heck that can be canon too</a><br> <br> Narrator: DOG JOKES <br> T-Rex: Who wants to hear jokes about dogs?! I sure hope you do! <br> <br> T-Rex: AND I SURE HOPE YOU BROUGHT SOME, because I'm tapped! <br> <br> Dromiceiomimus: Well, this has been a disappointing morning <br> Narrator: THE END <br> <br> <br> Narrator: CAT JOKES <br> T-Rex: Who wants to hear jokes about cats?! I sure hope - <br> Utahraptor: - you know some! <br> <br> Utahraptor: Because if not I'm going into the bank and saying "I am T-Rex wearing a Utahraptor mask, and the next time I come here WITHOUT my Utahraptor mask I'm totally robbing this place! These words forever take precedence over any denials I may say in the future." <br> T-Rex: ...MAN. That's water-tight! <br> <br> T-Rex: Okay, you've earned this one, my friend! What kind of cat keeps your grass short? A lawn MEOWer! <br> Utahraptor: Wow <br> Utahraptor: On second thought I'm doing that bank thing anyway what utahraptor said was METAPHORICALLY watertight. if you believe t-rex is looking over his shoulder at an offscreen viable ship in panel five and commenting on its seaworthiness, then what the heck that can be canon too

Narrator: DOG JOKES
T-Rex: Who wants to hear jokes about dogs?! I sure hope you do!

T-Rex: AND I SURE HOPE YOU BROUGHT SOME, because I'm tapped!

Dromiceiomimus: Well, this has been a disappointing morning
Narrator: THE END


Narrator: CAT JOKES
T-Rex: Who wants to hear jokes about cats?! I sure hope -
Utahraptor: - you know some!

Utahraptor: Because if not I'm going into the bank and saying "I am T-Rex wearing a Utahraptor mask, and the next time I come here WITHOUT my Utahraptor mask I'm totally robbing this place! These words forever take precedence over any denials I may say in the future."
T-Rex: ...MAN. That's water-tight!

T-Rex: Okay, you've earned this one, my friend! What kind of cat keeps your grass short? A lawn MEOWer!
Utahraptor: Wow
Utahraptor: On second thought I'm doing that bank thing anyway]]> http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=2045 http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=2045 Fri, 16 Dec 2011 15:10:04 -0000 <a href="http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=2045">HOT TIP FOR ARTISTS: when writing a grant application be sure to introduce yourself with "if i could just say a few words, i'd be a better public speaker! but as this is the medium of text allow me to proceed:"</a><br> <br> T- Rex: Amelia and Antonio Tony were two original characters COPYRIGHT ME who were having sex intercourse! They were having it in a manner that would be arousing to a third party reading about these events after the face. <br> <br> T-Rex: Hey! That's your cur, readers! <br> <br> T-Rex: "Wow, so arousing," whispered the first reader of the story, increasingly aroused. "I found the information on the first reader somewhat less arousing than the original story", said the second reader, her arousal waning. The third reader threw away this book in disgust as it was extremely difficult to get aroused to/with, but only after writing, in the past tense, about what he was abut to do. <br> <br> Utahraptor: So we read your story, add on our own experience, and pass it on? <br> T-Rex: Yep! <br> <br> T-Rex: The result is an object that is at once reviewed AND reviewer, challenging the classical divide between the two and inviting us to examine our own preconceptions! <br> Utahraptor: It sounds boring. <br> T-Rex: IT SOUNDS LIKE ART AND YOU SHOULD LIKE IT. <br> <br> T-Rex: ALSO MAYBE THIS WASN'T CLEAR: <br> T-Rex: INITIALLY THERE'S PORNS HOT TIP FOR ARTISTS: when writing a grant application be sure to introduce yourself with "if i could just say a few words, i'd be a better public speaker! but as this is the medium of text allow me to proceed:"

T- Rex: Amelia and Antonio Tony were two original characters COPYRIGHT ME who were having sex intercourse! They were having it in a manner that would be arousing to a third party reading about these events after the face.

T-Rex: Hey! That's your cur, readers!

T-Rex: "Wow, so arousing," whispered the first reader of the story, increasingly aroused. "I found the information on the first reader somewhat less arousing than the original story", said the second reader, her arousal waning. The third reader threw away this book in disgust as it was extremely difficult to get aroused to/with, but only after writing, in the past tense, about what he was abut to do.

Utahraptor: So we read your story, add on our own experience, and pass it on?
T-Rex: Yep!

T-Rex: The result is an object that is at once reviewed AND reviewer, challenging the classical divide between the two and inviting us to examine our own preconceptions!
Utahraptor: It sounds boring.
T-Rex: IT SOUNDS LIKE ART AND YOU SHOULD LIKE IT.

T-Rex: ALSO MAYBE THIS WASN'T CLEAR:
T-Rex: INITIALLY THERE'S PORNS]]> http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=2044 http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=2044 Fri, 16 Dec 2011 15:10:00 -0000 <a href="http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=2044">the title text is lying, ghost teddy roosevelt actually cocked TWO shotguns at once, one in each hand</a><br> <br> T-Rex: Once upon a time there was a SERIOUSLY spooky ghost! <br> T-Rex: No, wait. It can be done better. <br> T-Rex: *ahem* <br> <br> T-Rex: Antonio Tony could see dead people! <br> <br> T-Rex: Every room was packed for him, as there was a ghost for everyone who ever lived. Ghosts of explorers from hundreds of years ago wandered the downtown core bumping shoulders with the ancient ghosts of their earliest ancestors. And it wasn't just people: the seas were filled with 270 million years of ghostly trilobites, and long-extinct animals roamed the skies-many not found in any textbook. Antonio had checked. <br> <br> Utahraptor: This is actually an awesome premise: the air nearly opaque with dead insects! <br> T-Rex: Thanks, but I'm not done yet! <br> <br> T-Rex: Antonio took notes on some of the ghosts, dragging their mangled, legless bodies through malls, parks, and stadiums. He knew any book he produced would be invaluable to historians, but also knew anything he produced would be seen as fiction. <br> Utahraptor: NICE. <br> T-Rex: It was then that the first spaceship landed. <br> <br> T-Rex: The ships appeared puzzlingly empty, as only Antonio could see ghost alien shock troops pouring out! He must now recruit the very best of Earth's history to fight this secret war for survival!! <br> T-Rex: Man! <br> T-Rex: I wish I had more time to talk about this awesome premise; OH WELL the title text is lying, ghost teddy roosevelt actually cocked TWO shotguns at once, one in each hand

T-Rex: Once upon a time there was a SERIOUSLY spooky ghost!
T-Rex: No, wait. It can be done better.
T-Rex: *ahem*

T-Rex: Antonio Tony could see dead people!

T-Rex: Every room was packed for him, as there was a ghost for everyone who ever lived. Ghosts of explorers from hundreds of years ago wandered the downtown core bumping shoulders with the ancient ghosts of their earliest ancestors. And it wasn't just people: the seas were filled with 270 million years of ghostly trilobites, and long-extinct animals roamed the skies-many not found in any textbook. Antonio had checked.

Utahraptor: This is actually an awesome premise: the air nearly opaque with dead insects!
T-Rex: Thanks, but I'm not done yet!

T-Rex: Antonio took notes on some of the ghosts, dragging their mangled, legless bodies through malls, parks, and stadiums. He knew any book he produced would be invaluable to historians, but also knew anything he produced would be seen as fiction.
Utahraptor: NICE.
T-Rex: It was then that the first spaceship landed.

T-Rex: The ships appeared puzzlingly empty, as only Antonio could see ghost alien shock troops pouring out! He must now recruit the very best of Earth's history to fight this secret war for survival!!
T-Rex: Man!
T-Rex: I wish I had more time to talk about this awesome premise; OH WELL]]> http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=2043 http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=2043 Fri, 16 Dec 2011 15:09:27 -0000 <a href="http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=2043">DID YOU KNOW: you don't even get to keep it/them afterwards</a><br> <br> T-Rex: Sometimes if you have a festering wound, doctors will prescribe maggots! Certain breeds only eat dead tissue and ignore healthy tissue, which cleans out the wound at a level a surgeon simply couldn't! NICE. <br> <br> Narrator: SECRETS OF THE MEDICAL PROFESSION. <br> <br> Dromiceiomimus: That's no secret, T-Rex! Maggot debridement has been around since antiquity. <br> <br> T-Rex: Sure, but not ALL maggots only eat dead tissue! Sometimes if you leave a wound untreated, maggots that eat ANYTHING will hatch and live there. It's gross. I think we can all agree that physical bodies are gross, Dromiceiomimus. <br> <br> Dromiceiomimus: No argument here. <br> <br> Utahraptor: So go to the hospital and have them removed! <br> <br> T-Rex: Sure! <br> <br> T-Rex: But removing them can be tricky, as if they burst infection can follow. IF ONLY there was some secret way to lure maggots out of a wound, something SO DELICIOUS - SO IRRESISTABLE that not a single member of the animal kingdom can resist its wonderfu- <br> <br> Utahraptor: Is it bacon? <br> <br> T-Rex: It's bacon, yeah! <br> <br> Narrator: BACON - Delicious in a sandwich - Great at wound maggot removal - Still 0 grams of trans fat per serving - DID YOU KNOW: you don't even get to keep it/them afterwards

T-Rex: Sometimes if you have a festering wound, doctors will prescribe maggots! Certain breeds only eat dead tissue and ignore healthy tissue, which cleans out the wound at a level a surgeon simply couldn't! NICE.

Narrator: SECRETS OF THE MEDICAL PROFESSION.

Dromiceiomimus: That's no secret, T-Rex! Maggot debridement has been around since antiquity.

T-Rex: Sure, but not ALL maggots only eat dead tissue! Sometimes if you leave a wound untreated, maggots that eat ANYTHING will hatch and live there. It's gross. I think we can all agree that physical bodies are gross, Dromiceiomimus.

Dromiceiomimus: No argument here.

Utahraptor: So go to the hospital and have them removed!

T-Rex: Sure!

T-Rex: But removing them can be tricky, as if they burst infection can follow. IF ONLY there was some secret way to lure maggots out of a wound, something SO DELICIOUS - SO IRRESISTABLE that not a single member of the animal kingdom can resist its wonderfu-

Utahraptor: Is it bacon?

T-Rex: It's bacon, yeah!

Narrator: BACON - Delicious in a sandwich - Great at wound maggot removal - Still 0 grams of trans fat per serving -]]>