Goats - latest additions

Goats - latest additions http://www.goats.com The latest transcribed Goats comics, powered by OhNoRobot.com en-us Fri, 05 Feb 2010 21:12:05 -0000 60 Goats comic strip from April / 24 / 2008: the office (64) http://www.goats.com/archive/080424.html http://www.goats.com/archive/080424.html Fri, 05 Feb 2010 20:49:26 -0000 <a href="http://www.goats.com/archive/080424.html">Goats comic strip from April / 24 / 2008: the office (64)</a> [[Pub (Axis, Peculier)]] iPhone: Sound Effect: Explosion: One Death: Seven Death: Stan: Superb [[Pub (Axis, Peculier)]] iPhone: Sound Effect: Drink: Bottle: Glass: Fish: Stan: Heh. [[Pub (Axis, Peculier)]] iPhone: Sound Effect: Jon: Camazotz: Gukumatz: Stan: Perfect! [[Pub (Axis, Peculier)]] iPhone: Sound Effect: Script(s): Scroggs: IXCATZIN: Stan: And look at you two beautiful schemers. So Reliable. [[Pub (Axis, Peculier)]] iPhone: Stan: I love it when a plan comes together. Alfred: Oh! Excuse me, I was not expecting anyone conscious. Would you like to open ze tab? [[Pub (Axis, Peculier)]] iPhone: Stan: Sure, why not? It's not like they send you to hell for the occasional breakfast beer. Goats comic strip from April / 24 / 2008: the office (64)

[[Pub (Axis, Peculier)]]
iPhone:
Sound Effect:
Explosion:
One Death:
Seven Death:
Stan: Superb

[[Pub (Axis, Peculier)]]
iPhone:
Sound Effect:
Drink:
Bottle:
Glass:
Fish:
Stan: Heh.

[[Pub (Axis, Peculier)]]
iPhone:
Sound Effect:
Jon:
Camazotz:
Gukumatz:
Stan: Perfect!

[[Pub (Axis, Peculier)]]
iPhone:
Sound Effect:
Script(s):
Scroggs:
IXCATZIN:
Stan: And look at you two beautiful schemers. So Reliable.

[[Pub (Axis, Peculier)]]
iPhone:
Stan: I love it when a plan comes together.
Alfred: Oh! Excuse me, I was not expecting anyone conscious. Would you like to open ze tab?

[[Pub (Axis, Peculier)]]
iPhone:
Stan: Sure, why not? It's not like they send you to hell for the occasional breakfast beer.]]> Goats comic strip from April / 22 / 2008: the office (62) http://www.goats.com/archive/080422.html http://www.goats.com/archive/080422.html Fri, 05 Feb 2010 20:49:25 -0000 <a href="http://www.goats.com/archive/080422.html">Goats comic strip from April / 22 / 2008: the office (62)</a> [[Xibalba (Jon's Office)]] File Cabinet: Bottle: Mirror: Script(s): Post-It Note: IXCATZIN: Scroggs: One Death? One Death: We're on the monkey plane, you've got to send someone to extract us. [[Xibalba (Jon's Office)]] Script(s): Post-It Note: Scroggs: IXCATZIN: One Death: We think the other team may have installed a firewall. Maybe you can look into it from your end? [[Xibalba (Jon's Office)]] Script(s): Post-It Note: Scroggs: IXCATZIN: Uh... One Death? You're breaking up... there's something... KSHSKH SHKSH... Wrong... Our Connection KSHSSHHK... ...call back on landline? KSHSSHHKH Click! [[Xibalba (Jon's Office)]] Script(s): Post-It Note: Scroggs: <<CLOSE!>> [[Xibalba (Jon's Office)]] Script(s): Scroggs: We can't tell anyone about this. IXCATZIN: How about forty or fifty close friends and acquaintances? Scroggs: Fine, but that's it. Goats comic strip from April / 22 / 2008: the office (62)

[[Xibalba (Jon's Office)]]
File Cabinet:
Bottle:
Mirror:
Script(s):
Post-It Note:
IXCATZIN:
Scroggs: One Death?
One Death: We're on the monkey plane, you've got to send someone to extract us.

[[Xibalba (Jon's Office)]]
Script(s):
Post-It Note:
Scroggs:
IXCATZIN:
One Death: We think the other team may have installed a firewall. Maybe you can look into it from your end?

[[Xibalba (Jon's Office)]]
Script(s):
Post-It Note:
Scroggs:
IXCATZIN: Uh... One Death? You're breaking up... there's something... KSHSKH SHKSH... Wrong... Our Connection KSHSSHHK... ...call back on landline? KSHSSHHKH Click!

[[Xibalba (Jon's Office)]]
Script(s):
Post-It Note:
Scroggs:
<>

[[Xibalba (Jon's Office)]]
Script(s):
Scroggs: We can't tell anyone about this.
IXCATZIN: How about forty or fifty close friends and acquaintances?
Scroggs: Fine, but that's it.]]> Goats comic strip from April / 23 / 2008: the office (63) http://www.goats.com/archive/080423.html http://www.goats.com/archive/080423.html Fri, 05 Feb 2010 20:49:25 -0000 <a href="http://www.goats.com/archive/080423.html">Goats comic strip from April / 23 / 2008: the office (63)</a> [[Xibalba (Jon's Office)]] Plant(s): Chair: File Cabinet: Bottle: Scroggs: What did we just do? If One Death ever makes it back here we're toast. Downsized. Transferred to the branch in Pink Slip City! IXCATZIN: And Ix was only twelve thousand years from retirement. [[Xibalba (Jon's Office)]] Scroggs: Hold on a second. Didn't Rosenberg say he spoke to One Death? IXCATZIN: Big boss must have been lying. [[Xibalba (Jon's Office)]] Plant(s): Scroggs: He knows all about this. And he was trying to keep it secret. IXCATZIN: So are we! [[Xibalba (Jon's Office)]] Scroggs: But Rosenberg doesn't know that. We can use this as leverage in our eternal war with those premoistened towelettes in management. IXCATZIN: Blackmail? [[Xibalba (Jon's Office)]] Plant(s): Glass: Phone: Fish: Scroggs: Blackmail is such a negative term. Let's call it proactive synergy reallocation. IXCATZIN: Let's call it Susan. Ix always like that name. Goats comic strip from April / 23 / 2008: the office (63)

[[Xibalba (Jon's Office)]]
Plant(s):
Chair:
File Cabinet:
Bottle:
Scroggs: What did we just do? If One Death ever makes it back here we're toast. Downsized. Transferred to the branch in Pink Slip City!
IXCATZIN: And Ix was only twelve thousand years from retirement.

[[Xibalba (Jon's Office)]]
Scroggs: Hold on a second. Didn't Rosenberg say he spoke to One Death?
IXCATZIN: Big boss must have been lying.

[[Xibalba (Jon's Office)]]
Plant(s):
Scroggs: He knows all about this. And he was trying to keep it secret.
IXCATZIN: So are we!

[[Xibalba (Jon's Office)]]
Scroggs: But Rosenberg doesn't know that. We can use this as leverage in our eternal war with those premoistened towelettes in management.
IXCATZIN: Blackmail?

[[Xibalba (Jon's Office)]]
Plant(s):
Glass:
Phone:
Fish:
Scroggs: Blackmail is such a negative term. Let's call it proactive synergy reallocation.
IXCATZIN: Let's call it Susan. Ix always like that name.]]> Goats comic strip from April / 21 / 2008: the office (61) http://www.goats.com/archive/080421.html http://www.goats.com/archive/080421.html Fri, 05 Feb 2010 20:49:24 -0000 <a href="http://www.goats.com/archive/080421.html">Goats comic strip from April / 21 / 2008: the office (61)</a> [[Xibalba (Jon's Office)]] Script(s): IXCATZIN: Ix cannot make head or tail of comic. Psychic goats? exploding chickens? Perhaps best left in file cabinet. Scroggs: I think I recognize this. [[Xibalba (Jon's Office)]] Script(s): Post-It Note: Scroggs: It looks a lot like that Dimension Shift graphic novel our print division publishes. IXCATZIN: Look! Ix is in here! And Rosenberg! [[Xibalba (Jon's Office)]] Script(s): Glass: Post-It Note: Fish: Scroggs: I knew he looked familiar. IXCATZIN: Ix will be suing for violation of likeness rights. [[Xibalba (Jon's Office)]] Script(s): Post-It Note: Scroggs: This must be volume two. IXCATZIN: Quick, skip to end. [[Infinite Monkey Dimension (via script page artwork)]] [[Xibalba (Jon's Office)]] Lotion: Script(s): IXCATZIN: One Death: Ix! Ix, you've got to help us! Seven Death: We're trapped in a nuclear inferno and our sunscreen is expired. Goats comic strip from April / 21 / 2008: the office (61)

[[Xibalba (Jon's Office)]]
Script(s):
IXCATZIN: Ix cannot make head or tail of comic. Psychic goats? exploding chickens? Perhaps best left in file cabinet.
Scroggs: I think I recognize this.

[[Xibalba (Jon's Office)]]
Script(s):
Post-It Note:
Scroggs: It looks a lot like that Dimension Shift graphic novel our print division publishes.
IXCATZIN: Look! Ix is in here! And Rosenberg!

[[Xibalba (Jon's Office)]]
Script(s):
Glass:
Post-It Note:
Fish:
Scroggs: I knew he looked familiar.
IXCATZIN: Ix will be suing for violation of likeness rights.

[[Xibalba (Jon's Office)]]
Script(s):
Post-It Note:
Scroggs: This must be volume two.
IXCATZIN: Quick, skip to end.

[[Infinite Monkey Dimension (via script page artwork)]]
[[Xibalba (Jon's Office)]]
Lotion:
Script(s):
IXCATZIN:
One Death: Ix! Ix, you've got to help us!
Seven Death: We're trapped in a nuclear inferno and our sunscreen is expired.]]> Goats comic strip from April / 17 / 2008: the office (60) http://www.goats.com/archive/080417.html http://www.goats.com/archive/080417.html Fri, 05 Feb 2010 20:49:22 -0000 <a href="http://www.goats.com/archive/080417.html">Goats comic strip from April / 17 / 2008: the office (60)</a> [[Pub (Axis, Peculier)]] Mustache: Glass: Jerrell: Alfred: I do not know of zees bleeding moustache of which you speak. But I do know this: When life gives you ze moustache, you make ze moustacheade. Correction: I do not know of zees bleeding mustache of which you speak. But I do know this: When life gives you ze mustache, you make ze mustacheade. [[Pub (Axis, Peculier)]] Jerrell: Alfred: Look. I cannot leave ze bar, ze pubaxial hologram projectionator has ze limited range. But you can leave! [[Pub (Axis, Peculier)]] Picture: Alfred: Take zees photo. Find ze man and bring him back here. Zen we will get you all ze hot and heavy monk action you desire. Jerrell: Mr. Wells? You want me to bring you the Math Fuhrer? [[Pub (Axis, Peculier)]] Picture: Jerrell: I know just where to find him. Be back in a jiffy! [[Pub (Axis, Exterior, Peculier)]] Fire: Car: Man: Woman: Man: Jerrell: Make that two jiffies. Give or take a jiffy. Goats comic strip from April / 17 / 2008: the office (60)

[[Pub (Axis, Peculier)]]
Mustache:
Glass:
Jerrell:
Alfred: I do not know of zees bleeding moustache of which you speak. But I do know this: When life gives you ze moustache, you make ze moustacheade.
Correction: I do not know of zees bleeding mustache of which you speak. But I do know this: When life gives you ze mustache, you make ze mustacheade.

[[Pub (Axis, Peculier)]]
Jerrell:
Alfred: Look. I cannot leave ze bar, ze pubaxial hologram projectionator has ze limited range. But you can leave!

[[Pub (Axis, Peculier)]]
Picture:
Alfred: Take zees photo. Find ze man and bring him back here. Zen we will get you all ze hot and heavy monk action you desire.
Jerrell: Mr. Wells? You want me to bring you the Math Fuhrer?

[[Pub (Axis, Peculier)]]
Picture:
Jerrell: I know just where to find him. Be back in a jiffy!

[[Pub (Axis, Exterior, Peculier)]]
Fire:
Car:
Man:
Woman:
Man:
Jerrell: Make that two jiffies. Give or take a jiffy.]]> Goats comic strip from April / 14 / 2008: the office (57) http://www.goats.com/archive/080414.html http://www.goats.com/archive/080414.html Fri, 05 Feb 2010 20:49:21 -0000 <a href="http://www.goats.com/archive/080414.html">Goats comic strip from April / 14 / 2008: the office (57)</a> [[Pub (Axis, Peculier)]] Alfred: Man: Man: Jerrell: what the hell is going on here? Who the fuck are you? [[Pub (Axis, Peculier)]] Stephanie: Man: Woman: Alfred: Calm yourself! Everything ees okay, sir! Jerrell: Everything is clearly not okay. [[Pub (Axis, Peculier)]] Man: Jerrell: I don't remember anything before getting spanked on the ass by a Frenchman and I am surrounded by corpses. [[Pub (Axis, Peculier)]] Booth: Table: Man: Man: Man: Alfred: I am no Frenchman! I am Swiss. Jerrell: A Swiss murdered. How clich?d. Did you put holes in all these people? Like your cheese? [[Pub (Axis, Peculier)]] Jerrell: I've seen a lot of crazy shit in my time. I watched as my mom was trample to death by the 1985 Chicago Bears. I've see a sex midget fight a koala. I've even seen a moustache bleed. Yeah, you heard me. A Moustache. So you know I speak as an expert when I say that this is top-shelf full-on unadulterated batshit madness. Correction: I've seen a lot of crazy shit in my time. I watched as my mom was trample to death by the 1985 Chicago Bears. I've see a sex midget fight a koala. I've even seen a mustache bleed. Yeah, you heard me. A Mustache. So you know I speak as an expert when I say that this is top-shelf full-on unadulterated batshit madness. Goats comic strip from April / 14 / 2008: the office (57)

[[Pub (Axis, Peculier)]]
Alfred:
Man:
Man:
Jerrell: what the hell is going on here? Who the fuck are you?

[[Pub (Axis, Peculier)]]
Stephanie:
Man:
Woman:
Alfred: Calm yourself! Everything ees okay, sir!
Jerrell: Everything is clearly not okay.

[[Pub (Axis, Peculier)]]
Man:
Jerrell: I don't remember anything before getting spanked on the ass by a Frenchman and I am surrounded by corpses.

[[Pub (Axis, Peculier)]]
Booth:
Table:
Man:
Man:
Man:
Alfred: I am no Frenchman! I am Swiss.
Jerrell: A Swiss murdered. How clich?d. Did you put holes in all these people? Like your cheese?

[[Pub (Axis, Peculier)]]
Jerrell: I've seen a lot of crazy shit in my time. I watched as my mom was trample to death by the 1985 Chicago Bears. I've see a sex midget fight a koala. I've even seen a moustache bleed. Yeah, you heard me. A Moustache. So you know I speak as an expert when I say that this is top-shelf full-on unadulterated batshit madness.
Correction: I've seen a lot of crazy shit in my time. I watched as my mom was trample to death by the 1985 Chicago Bears. I've see a sex midget fight a koala. I've even seen a mustache bleed. Yeah, you heard me. A Mustache. So you know I speak as an expert when I say that this is top-shelf full-on unadulterated batshit madness.]]> Goats comic strip from April / 09 / 2008: the office (55) http://www.goats.com/archive/080409.html http://www.goats.com/archive/080409.html Fri, 05 Feb 2010 20:49:18 -0000 <a href="http://www.goats.com/archive/080409.html">Goats comic strip from April / 09 / 2008: the office (55)</a> [[Pub (Axis, Peculier)]] Taps: Chair: Stephanie: Jerrell: Alfred: Zees level, she has gone stagnant! [[Pub (Axis, Peculier)]] Taps: Jerrell: Alfred: Every level of existence needs ze tender loving care. Ze stimulating, effervescent infusion of fresh business plans and steamy personal drama zat keeps us going. [[Pub (Axis, Peculier)]] Jerrell: Alfred: Zat distracts us from ze stack and dreary reality of modern living. [[Pub (Axis, Peculier)]] Jerrell: Alfred: without ze monkey typings, ze pressurized soul explodes in za hard vaccum of purposelessness. Like ze astronaut who forgets to zip up all ze way. Correction: without ze monkey typings, ze pressurized soul explodes in za hard vacuum of purposelessness. Like ze astronaut who forgets to zip up all ze way. [[Pub (Axis, Peculier)]] Taps: Stephanie: Jerrell: Alfred: Eet ees a good thing I enjoy talking to myself. Alfred: Me too! Goats comic strip from April / 09 / 2008: the office (55)

[[Pub (Axis, Peculier)]]
Taps:
Chair:
Stephanie:
Jerrell:
Alfred: Zees level, she has gone stagnant!

[[Pub (Axis, Peculier)]]
Taps:
Jerrell:
Alfred: Every level of existence needs ze tender loving care. Ze stimulating, effervescent infusion of fresh business plans and steamy personal drama zat keeps us going.

[[Pub (Axis, Peculier)]]
Jerrell:
Alfred: Zat distracts us from ze stack and dreary reality of modern living.

[[Pub (Axis, Peculier)]]
Jerrell:
Alfred: without ze monkey typings, ze pressurized soul explodes in za hard vaccum of purposelessness. Like ze astronaut who forgets to zip up all ze way.
Correction: without ze monkey typings, ze pressurized soul explodes in za hard vacuum of purposelessness. Like ze astronaut who forgets to zip up all ze way.

[[Pub (Axis, Peculier)]]
Taps:
Stephanie:
Jerrell:
Alfred: Eet ees a good thing I enjoy talking to myself.
Alfred: Me too!]]> Goats comic strip from April / 10 / 2008: the office (56) http://www.goats.com/archive/080410.html http://www.goats.com/archive/080410.html Fri, 05 Feb 2010 20:49:18 -0000 <a href="http://www.goats.com/archive/080410.html">Goats comic strip from April / 10 / 2008: the office (56)</a> [[Pub (Axis, Peculier)]] Window: Man: Alfred: Zomewhere out zere in Manhattan Three ees a very sleepy John Wells whom I must find. [[Pub (Axis, Peculier)]] Alfred: But I am just ze hologram here! Zat ees all fine and good for mixing cocktails but eet ees crap for travelling. I need ze helper. [[Pub (Axis, Peculier)]] Flyswatter: Sound Effect: Jerrell: Alfred: Carrot man! Eet eez time to rise and shine! Wakey Wakey! [[Pub (Axis, Peculier)]] Jerrell: Alfred: Eet ees time for ze applied existentialism maybe. [[Pub (Axis, Peculier)]] Jerrell: Alfred: Zere ees ze sexy lady in bikini here to see you! She has ze video games and ze pint of ice cream and ze total lack of sexual boundaries. [[Pub (Axis, Peculier)]] Jerrell: Alfred: And now zere ees zombie Charlton Heston weeth guns sticking out where ze arms used to be! And he ees wanting ze brains! Oh, he eat ze bikini lady brains. How sad. [[Pub (Axis, Peculier)]] Alfred: Eh? What ees zis? Zere ees ze video of ze adorable sleepy kitty on ze internets! Jerrell: Wha? What? Goats comic strip from April / 10 / 2008: the office (56)

[[Pub (Axis, Peculier)]]
Window:
Man:
Alfred: Zomewhere out zere in Manhattan Three ees a very sleepy John Wells whom I must find.

[[Pub (Axis, Peculier)]]
Alfred: But I am just ze hologram here! Zat ees all fine and good for mixing cocktails but eet ees crap for travelling. I need ze helper.

[[Pub (Axis, Peculier)]]
Flyswatter:
Sound Effect:
Jerrell:
Alfred: Carrot man! Eet eez time to rise and shine! Wakey Wakey!

[[Pub (Axis, Peculier)]]
Jerrell:
Alfred: Eet ees time for ze applied existentialism maybe.

[[Pub (Axis, Peculier)]]
Jerrell:
Alfred: Zere ees ze sexy lady in bikini here to see you! She has ze video games and ze pint of ice cream and ze total lack of sexual boundaries.

[[Pub (Axis, Peculier)]]
Jerrell:
Alfred: And now zere ees zombie Charlton Heston weeth guns sticking out where ze arms used to be! And he ees wanting ze brains! Oh, he eat ze bikini lady brains. How sad.

[[Pub (Axis, Peculier)]]
Alfred: Eh? What ees zis? Zere ees ze video of ze adorable sleepy kitty on ze internets!
Jerrell: Wha? What?]]> Goats comic strip from April / 08 / 2008: the office (54) http://www.goats.com/archive/080408.html http://www.goats.com/archive/080408.html Fri, 05 Feb 2010 20:49:17 -0000 <a href="http://www.goats.com/archive/080408.html">Goats comic strip from April / 08 / 2008: the office (54)</a> [[Xibalba]] [[Pub (Axis)]] Poster: Alfred: Zees ees all very unorthodox. I already ahve ze bartending job! Jon: Nothing about that changes! You can do this while you work. [[Xibalba]] [[Pub (Axis)]] Poster: Alfred: I am already working while I work. Jon: Think of it as a hobby. Now get out of here! Go find Wells and a way to get him back to us. Wells is the key to saving the multiverse. [[Xibalba]] [[Pub (Axis)]] Alfred: You said zat ze demons were ze key to saving ze multiverse. Jon: They are. They're all keys. There are lots of keys. Just go, okay? [[Xibalba]] [[Pub (Axis)]] Sound Effect: Alfred: I will keep your tab open. Off to ze Manhattan Three! [[Pub (Axis, Peculier)]] Sound Effect: Taps: Chair: Siobain: Stephanie: Jerrell: Alfred: Ees eet naptime? No. Oh No. Eet eez ze boredom. Goats comic strip from April / 08 / 2008: the office (54)

[[Xibalba]]
[[Pub (Axis)]]
Poster:
Alfred: Zees ees all very unorthodox. I already ahve ze bartending job!
Jon: Nothing about that changes! You can do this while you work.

[[Xibalba]]
[[Pub (Axis)]]
Poster:
Alfred: I am already working while I work.
Jon: Think of it as a hobby. Now get out of here! Go find Wells and a way to get him back to us. Wells is the key to saving the multiverse.

[[Xibalba]]
[[Pub (Axis)]]
Alfred: You said zat ze demons were ze key to saving ze multiverse.
Jon: They are. They're all keys. There are lots of keys. Just go, okay?

[[Xibalba]]
[[Pub (Axis)]]
Sound Effect:
Alfred: I will keep your tab open. Off to ze Manhattan Three!

[[Pub (Axis, Peculier)]]
Sound Effect:
Taps:
Chair:
Siobain:
Stephanie:
Jerrell:
Alfred: Ees eet naptime? No. Oh No. Eet eez ze boredom.]]> Goats comic strip from April / 07 / 2008: the office (53) http://www.goats.com/archive/080407.html http://www.goats.com/archive/080407.html Fri, 05 Feb 2010 20:49:16 -0000 <a href="http://www.goats.com/archive/080407.html">Goats comic strip from April / 07 / 2008: the office (53)</a> [[Xibalba]] [[Pub (Axis)]] Booth: Table: Alfred: I would like to help but ze demons, zey bring out ze insane axe murderer in me. I am normally ze laid-back guy. Ze slow-snapping of fingers to ze smooth jazz beat, you know? [[Xibalba]] [[Pub (Axis)]] Gukumatz: Jon: Those demons are responsible for the 2012 calendar bug. They're the key to saving the universe. [[Xibalba]] [[Pub (Axis)]] Alfred: Zey smell like cabbage zat has been inside a baby. Jon: You leave the practical demonkeeping to me. [[Xibalba]] [[Pub (Axis)]] Picture: Alfred: Jon: You won't see them. You're not even going to be here most of the time. I need you to go to Manhattan Three and contact John Wells. Use an intermediary if you have to. Tell him to pack an overnight bag and await further instruction. [[Xibalba]] [[Pub (Axis)]] Poster: Jon: Then I need you to go to every axis pub in existence and post this on the wall. Text: WANTED CLIENT COWBOY Our firm is looking to hire a self- motivated client development executive with 5+ years of experience in "lassoing" new clients and knowledge of the multiversal technologies vertical. Must have ability to teleport along the pub axis ("The Knack"), own car. Send resume and references to: The Consulting Firm Formerly Known as Xibalba Consulting C/O Jon Rosenberg, CEO Hellside Industrial Park #19 Goats comic strip from April / 07 / 2008: the office (53)

[[Xibalba]]
[[Pub (Axis)]]
Booth:
Table:
Alfred: I would like to help but ze demons, zey bring out ze insane axe murderer in me. I am normally ze laid-back guy. Ze slow-snapping of fingers to ze smooth jazz beat, you know?

[[Xibalba]]
[[Pub (Axis)]]
Gukumatz:
Jon: Those demons are responsible for the 2012 calendar bug. They're the key to saving the universe.

[[Xibalba]]
[[Pub (Axis)]]
Alfred: Zey smell like cabbage zat has been inside a baby.
Jon: You leave the practical demonkeeping to me.

[[Xibalba]]
[[Pub (Axis)]]
Picture:
Alfred:
Jon: You won't see them. You're not even going to be here most of the time. I need you to go to Manhattan Three and contact John Wells. Use an intermediary if you have to. Tell him to pack an overnight bag and await further instruction.

[[Xibalba]]
[[Pub (Axis)]]
Poster:
Jon: Then I need you to go to every axis pub in existence and post this on the wall.
Text: WANTED

CLIENT

COWBOY

Our firm is looking to hire a self-

motivated client development

executive with 5+ years of experience

in "lassoing" new clients and

knowledge of the multiversal

technologies vertical. Must have

ability to teleport along the pub

axis ("The Knack"), own car.

Send resume and references to:

The Consulting Firm Formerly

Known as Xibalba Consulting

C/O Jon Rosenberg, CEO

Hellside Industrial

Park #19]]>