Cute Ninja Girls - latest additions

Casually

Casually

PANEL 1
[[Kay is at a job interview.]]
Narrator: Heeding her sister's advice, Kay goes out to find a new job. Let's check up on her.
Wright: So, Kay. What will you be able to provide us here at the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority?

PANEL 2
Kay: Well, I AM a ninja, with all the major things that go with that. I'd be great for nabbing subway gate hoppers. They'd think twice when I'm in charge. Check this out.

PANEL 3
[[Kay tosses a ninja star, impaling a sculpture on its head.]]

PANEL 4
[[Instead of staying put, the sculpture falls and hits its head on a table.]]
<<BOK!>>

PANEL 5
[[This causes a chain reaction, where the table falls down and hits the bookshelf, which starts tipping over.]]
<<KERTHUNK!>>

PANEL 6
[[Now there's chaos everywhere, with bookshelves falling over and hitting everything.]]
<<BUDOOM!>> <<CRISH!>>
Wright: Augh!

PANEL 7
[[The desk goes flying out of the tall building, and is aimed right for Wright's car.]]
<<BLASH!>>

PANEL 8
Wright: My Impala! It's ruined!
Kay: You have to admit, that was pretty cool. Do I have the job?
Wright: We'll call you.

Unemployment

Unemployment

PANEL 1
[[Hanna is talking to Kay, who is lolling on the couch.]]
Hanna: Kay, it would be nice if you got a job to help me pay the bills.
Kay: I've had jobs!

PANEL 2
[[Kay is a Peanut vendor at Fenway Park.]]
Kay (VO): Remember when I was a peanut vendor at Fewnay Park?
<<Thwack!>>
Fan: Ow! My cerebral cortex! Now I can't say the letter unghh!

PANEL 3
[[Kay is serving coffee at a Dunkin' Donuts.]]
Kay (VO): And the time I used heat magic to speed up coffeemaking at Dunkin' Donuts?
Customer: Agh, it burns! Third degree burns!
Apache Chief: Ooh.
Kay: Oops!

PANEL 4
[[Kay is hiding behind the counter at a Friendly's.]]
Kay (VO): And the time I served the ice cream too cold at Friendly's?
Customer (with ice cream on his tongue): Ith thith a joke?
Supervisor (Off-panel): KAY!

PANEL 5
Kay: That's why it's better if you have a job and I don't!
Hanna: If you don't get a job... I won't buy you any more Cheez-Its.

PANEL 6
Kay: No! Anything but that! I'll get a job, but please! Spare my glorious orange squares of cheese crackery goodness!

Satisfaction Guaranteed

Satisfaction Guaranteed

PANEL 1:
TV: Up next is the Suck-O-Matic 9000! It cleans your house all by itself!
GUL'JAGEN: Ooh! Automated lair cleaning! I must have it!

PANEL 2:
[[Switch to the QVC answering person.]]
KRISTIE: Hello! QVC! Can I help you?
GUL'JAGEN (Phone): I demand the living vacuum I saw on TV!
KRISTIE: Sure! Your full name please?

PANEL 3:
GUL'JAGEN (Phone): The LORD of DARKNESS!
KRISTIE: Er, what?
GUL'JAGEN (Phone): My true name cannot be heard by mortals, as repeating it might shatter their human brain.

PANEL 4:
KIRSTIE: Now look, pal. I've got real orders to take, so goodbye.
GUL'JAGEN (Phone): Wait! Hmph. Fine. My one true name is...

PANEL 5:
[[Kristie's mind has been blown.]]
STAN: Mornin' Kristie... uh, Kristie?
GUL'JAGEN (Phone): Hello? Hello!?

PANEL 6:
STAN: Hello?
GUL'JAGEN (phone): I'm trying to place an order!
STAN: Oh, okay, I just need a name...

PANEL 7:
[[Stan's mind has also been blown.]]
PHIL: Mornin everyone!
[[Phil notices Stan.]]
PHIL: Stan, you dog! You know that constitutes sexual harassment in thirty seven states!
GUL'JAGEN (Phone): Hello! Hello!

PANEL 8:
[[Back to Gul'Jagen in his chair.]]
GUL'JAGEN: Anyone!?
TV: ...and the vac is all sold out!
GUL'JAGEN: Damnation! Every single time! You'd think they'd get the hint!

The Tighter Your Grip...

The Tighter Your Grip...

PANEL 1:
JIM: Gents, that's it. Thanks to our new copy protection software, music piracy will be a thing of the past!

PANEL 2:
BOSS: Great work, Jim. This'll net our music division .003% more profit. Nothing bad could come from this.

PANEL 3:
HANNA: Kay, look! I'm back with the new Journey CD! Let's listen to it with the computer!
KAY: Sure, hang on.

PANEL 4:
[[Hanna inserts the CD into the computer.]]

PANEL 5:
SFX: TRANSFORM!
[[The computer transforms into Soundwave from Transformers.]]

PANEL 6:
SOUNDWAVE: Death to pirates!
HANNA: My God!
KAY: Hey, we're ninjas, not pirates!

PANEL 7:
HANNA: Take this, you overgrown circuit board!

PANEL 8:
HANNA: Bah. I just built that one too. Very lame. Why does stuff like this always happen to us?
KAY: Um, Han?

PANEL 9:
KAY (offpanel): We might not be the only ones having some problems with this.
IPOD LEADER: What do we want?
IPOD FOLLOWERS: New Cases!
IPOD LEADER: When do we want them?
IPOD FOLLOWERS: Now!

A Small Diversion

A Small Diversion

PANEL 1
STICKY: Sean here! Dan was going to do a "How We Do It" page, but I beat him to the punch. Enjoy!
NARRATOR: Step 1: Dan and I come up with a topic for the comic.

PANEL 2
NARRATOR: Dan writes and passes the script on to me.

PANEL 3
NARRATOR: I draw the comic, drawing inspiration from "special" influences.

PANEL 4
NARRATOR: Dan colors and letters the comic. Some voodoo is involved.

PANEL 5
NARRATOR: We discuss edits to the strip in an honest, open, mature manner.

PANEL 6
NARRATOR: Someone usually gets stabbed. This usually alternates from week to week. One time we both got stabbed. It was the worst Arbor Day ever.
SEAN: Oh no!

PANEL 7
NARRATOR: The ride to the hospital - we hammer out most of the problems in the ambulance.

PANEL 8
NARRATOR: Any remaining issues are resolved by consulting the one true omnipotent being.

PANEL 9
NARRATOR: And that is how a comic is made! Hooray and stuff.
DAN AND SEAN: Hooray!

It Trolls For Thee

It Trolls For Thee

PANEL 1:
TOLL COLLECTOR: That'll be two dollars, please.
HANNA: All right.

PANEL 2:
CHEATER: HA! I'm not paying any toll! See you later, suckers!
TOLL TROLL: RARGH!

PANEL 3:
[The Toll Troll bursts out of the tollbooth, flying into the air, and lands on the Cheater's car with a satisfying THWOMP!]

PANEL 4:
TOLL TROLL: YARGH! Fear my wrath! Nobody steals from Mass. Pike!
CHEATER: Aiieee!

PANEL 5:
TOLL COLLECTOR: Yep, our new Toll Troll is excellent. He's lowered toll fraud by 60%. The only problem is a lawsuit from the state Billy Goat Anti-Defamation League...

Dick Cheney Saves Christmas

Dick Cheney Saves Christmas

PANEL 1
CHENEY: Has he cracked?
INTERROGATOR: Not yet vice, but he'll talk soon enough.

PANEL 2
CHENEY: Where's Claus, monster? ANSWER ME!

PANEL 3
GRINCH: I told you - I didn't kidnap Santa!

PANEL 4
CHENEY: Light him up like a Christmas tree.

PANEL 4
CHENEY: You still haven't found him yet?
SECRETARY: No, sir.
CHENEY: Christmas is hours away! What are we going to do?
SECRETARY: Junior wants you to wear the suit, sir.
CHENEY: What?

PANEL 5
GIRL: Santa Cwaus?
CHENEY: Go back to bed, little girl.
GIRL: But Santa...

PANEL 6
CHENEY: RRRHHAR!
GIRL: Eeeeeee!

PANEL 7
NARRATOR: And so, Christmas was saved. At least, for the white kids...

Breaking and Entering, Part Three

Breaking and Entering, Part Three

PANEL 1
Hanna: Hi, mom? I was wondering... I'm pretty sure dad's dead. Am I right?

PANEL 2
Mom: Yeah, you're right... I do miss him. Why?
Kay: Well, this old guy said dad called him and...

PANEL 3
Mom: What!? Your father's alive? Oh glorious day!

PANEL 4
Kay: Well, not exactly. This guy who thinks he's our grandpa says he was killed by something evil.

PANEL 5
Mom: Oh, that's just great. Thanks a lot, girls! Thanks for getting my hopes up!
Hanna: Wait, Mom...

PANEL 6
Hanna: That wasn't helpful at all! That's it. Let's just forget that this day ever happened.
Kay: Agreed. In the mean time, I'm going to kill that old guy.
Old Man: I'll let myself out! *smash*

Breaking and Entering, Part Deux

Breaking and Entering, Part Deux

PANEL 1
Old Man: You are in great danger, girls. An unspeakable evil that has plagued our family for a millenia is trying to find you. He could appear at any time in any place.

PANEL 2
Kay: What are you talking about? We didn't even know we had a grandpa.

PANEL 3
Old Man: Well, I didn't know I had grandkids! My son calls me on his cell phone and tells me I've got two granddaughters and I need to tell them about this curse. Then his phone died for some reason after he said curse.

PANEL 4
Hanna: Maybe it was the curse?

PANEL 5
Old Man: Well, there was a lot of screaming, squishing, and bonecrunching before the static... Hmm...

Breaking and Entering, Part 1

Breaking and Entering, Part 1

PANEL 1
Kay: I'm not saying that I didn't throw that smoke bomb, Hanna. But come on, we were in line at the RMV for four hours!

PANEL 2
Old Man: Girls!
Hanna and Kay: Ah!

PANEL 3
Kay: Who're you? And how'd you get in our house?

PANEL 4
Old Man: Ninja Stealth.

PANEL 5
Hanna: Wait a sec, this is our chair! You mean you snuck into our house, stole a chair, and later used it to break a window to get back into the house?

PANEL 6
Old Man: Well, I needed something to break the window and...

PANEL 7
Old Man: Ohhhhh...