Beyond the Punchline - latest additions

Tiger Attack At San Francisco Zoo

Tiger Attack At San Francisco Zoo
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Police investigating a fatal mauling at the San Francisco Zoo tried to determine how a Siberian Tiger escaped its enclosure... and whether Siegfried & Roy were practicing magic nearby.

Siegfried & Roy: "Ta-daa!!"
Roy: "Hey!... Where's zee tiger?"

Pope Benedict Delivers Christmas Blessing

Pope Benedict Delivers Christmas Blessing
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Pope Benedict XVI delivered his annual Christmas blessing to people in 63 different languages... including "gibberish" for Atheists.

Pope Benedict XVI: "Zam-balooba libba-labba!..."

NORAD Tracks Santa Around The World

NORAD Tracks Santa Around The World
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On Christmas Eve, NORAD uses its sophisticated satellite technology to track the whereabouts of Santa Claus... and the rest of the year searching for Osama Bin Laden.

NORAD Employee: "C'mon... Everyone knows he doesn't really exist."

Zimbabwe Prints New Banknotes

Zimbabwe Prints New Banknotes
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Suffering the world's highest inflation rate, Zimbabwe printed new banknotes to help end a cash shortage resulting from the economic mismanagement of President Robert Mugabe...

Putin Named Person of the Year

Putin Named Person of the Year
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Time magazine named Russian President Vladimir Putin its 2007 "Person of the Year", in recognition of him restoring stability in his country and returning it to the table of world power...

George W. Bush: "Hey, waiter!... Another "brewski""

Dick Cheney's Office Fire

Dick Cheney's Office Fire
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An electrical fire erupted in Washington's Eisenhower Building, damaging the office of U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney... and the subpoenaed documents that he was shredding at the time.

Dick Cheney: "Damn Chinese products!"

Peter Jackson Plans New "Hobbit" Films

Peter Jackson Plans New "Hobbit" Films
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To the delight of moviegoers, "Lord of the Rings" director Peter Jackson announced plans to produce two prequels based on J.R.R. Tolkien's "The Hobbit"... to be released in three years.

LOTR Fan: "First!..."

Castro Hints At Retirement

Castro Hints At Retirement
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In a letter to state media, ailing Cuban dictator Fidel Castro hinted at retiring for the first time, over concerns he would obstruct the path of younger people... especially after he's dead.

Cuban: "Whoops!..."

Musharraf Ends Pakistan Emergency Rule

Musharraf Ends Pakistan Emergency Rule
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Upon lifting his imposed state of emergency, Pakistan's President Pervez Musharraf pledged that he would hold "fair" elections... in accordance with the "carnie code".

Pervez Musharraf: "Aww... Better luck next time."

Baseball Stars Outed In Steroid Report

Baseball Stars Outed In Steroid Report
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In the most serious crisis to hit major league baseball since the 1919 "Black Sox" scandal, dozens of top players were included in a report on the sport's illegal steroid use...

Boy: "Say it ain't so... Barry, Larry, Jerry, Gary, Roger, Randy, Rafael, Randy, John, Juan, Zaun, Vaughn, Bagwell, Belle, Rondel, Miguel..."